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[teh DRUMPf!!]

 Now what the hell am I supposed to call that table of water Javik has/had in his quarters?

 

I'm sure "water table" will get the point across to most of the readers, just feels... derpy.

[PMC65]

I would call that trough of water his reflection pool.

 

Addition: Now I am debating this since Javik touches washes his hands because there is no memory in water. It is a way to silence what is around him. So it's more a void than a reflection. Interesting.

[Fatiguesdualism]

 

My only Mass Effect fanfic has been languishing untouched for a couple of years now. At least a couple years actually. I don't want to know how long it has been. It's sad. I can't finish stories to save my life. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't posted online because then nobody is disappointed when you don't finish....sigh. 

 

On the other hand, at least other people had the opportunity to enjoy it!

 

On another topic, has anyone here ever posted a review then felt really bad about it afterwards?  Not because you've deliberately gone out of your way to antagonise, but because after you've thought on it some more, you feel as if you've been pernickety?    Anyway...

 

 

 Now what the hell am I supposed to call that table of water Javik has/had in his quarters?

 

I'm sure "water table" will get the point across to most of the readers, just feels... derpy.

 

Basin?  

 

More seriously, could you perhaps have Javik make up a Prothean word and then claim it doesn't translate into 'primitive' 

[hot_heart]

 

On another topic, has anyone here ever posted a review then felt really bad about it afterwards?  Not because you've deliberately gone out of your way to antagonise, but because after you've thought on it some more, you feel as if you've been pernickety?    Anyway...

 

Ha, as I said in the PM, you have no reason to feel bad! You took the time to read and provide thoughtful feedback; that's valuable in itself. And although I addressed that particular example, I definitely think you highlighted a persistent problem with some aspects of my writing. That's always very useful to hear or discover, so I'm grateful more than anything.

[Fatiguesdualism]

Well I need a (weird) bit of help here, I need another label for 'Bat-man' - let me explain.  In a nod to something or other I think I've read on the old pages - I'm trying to work a little joke into my story.  Basically it's Garrus and Joker trying to cheer Shepard up a bit.  Thusly...

 

 

   “Well she must be good at it,” Joker told the other two, “because Brooks seems to dislike everyone else associated with Shepard – even me.”

   “Shocking,” Garrus murmured, “even Brooks?  It’s almost as if you’re unlikeable, Joker.”

   “Well at least I have more friends,” Joker retorted, “than, Mr Solitary Avenging Dark Knight.”

   “I am bad-man,” the turian agreed in a growl before switching back to his normal speaking voice, “and you have friends?  Name three – right now.”

   Shepard kept his gaze fixed on the table – and his face straight at Garrus’ claim.

 

...(blah,blah,blah)...

 

   “He’s getting better,” Joker replied, “He’s talking a bit more, loosening up a little.”  The pilot sighed before adding, “But – yeah.  Shepard’s hurting.  Who wouldn’t be?”

   “He didn’t even smile at,” Garrus’ voice dropped to repeat his earlier growl, “bad-man.”

   “It’s not that funny a joke, Garrus,” Joker explained, “it was funny when you really thought that was the name.  But now…it’s kind of lame.”

 

But the bolded section just doesn't quite feel right.   So if anyone can give a suggestion I'd be grateful! 

[BronzTrooper]

Anyone else having problems with FF.net?  I can't get on it.  

[Ignis Mors]

Not having any issues myself. Just went and checked. Having trouble resisting the urge to play Titanfall, and instead do writing. 

[BronzTrooper]

Damn it.  I was on a while ago and I went over to my gmail to see if anything new had come up and when I went back, I couldn't get on.  I decided to play some DA:O before I got back on a little bit ago.  When I went back to FF.net, I still couldn't get on.  I had been off for seven or eight hours and nothing changed.  I keep getting this error message saying that I can't connect to the 'real' FF.net.  I keeps saying to check back in a few minutes, but when I do nothing changes.  This is so frustrating because I want to type some more for my SI fanfic, but I'll have no way to put it up.  Any idea what's going on?  

[Obsidian Gryphon]

FFN is working for me right now. Last I checked in was 5 hours and it was working.

[BronzTrooper]

Turns out it's just my computer's connection to FF.net.  Don't why it's doing this out of nowhere because any other time I don't have any problems. 

[Seracen]

Well I need a (weird) bit of help here, I need another label for 'Bat-man' - let me explain.  In a nod to something or other I think I've read on the old pages - I'm trying to work a little joke into my story.  Basically it's Garrus and Joker trying to cheer Shepard up a bit.  Thusly...

 

 

 

But the bolded section just doesn't quite feel right.   So if anyone can give a suggestion I'd be grateful! 

Actually, I like the idea of just using "Batman," b/c Garrus wouldn't know who that was.  Thus, mentioning how he's a "bad man" allows joker to be exasperated b/c Garrus missed the joke.

[BronzTrooper]

Question:  Now, I've been frequenting the DA fanfic archive on FF.net (obviously not on my computer as I can't get on FF.net on it) and I've noticed the sheer abundance of Alistair/Cousland pairings as opposed to everything else including other Alistair/Warden pairings (Alistair/Surana for example).  I'm pretty sure that it has to do with the fact that Fem Cousland and Alistair can get married at the end of DA:O.  I guess my question is... would you be more inclined to do a specific pairing if you knew that it was an in-game possibility for marriage (not restricted to DA:O)?

 

Honestly, I wouldn't.  I've romanced Alistair once as a female elf mage and I thought that it was probably the best version considering the circumstances of their past (i.e.: not knowing their real family [at least, not personally] and being sent away to the Chantry/Circle with no choice).  I'm in the middle of romancing him with a fem Cousland and so far, the main appeal appears to be the possibility for marriage at the Landsmeet.  Then again, this could just be influenced by my views on marriage.  * shrugs *

 

Ok, maybe I'm not the best example considering how I haven't done many stories that build up a relationship (or multiple relationships), but that's just me.  According to my followers, I've been doing very well building up the relationship between Alistair and Neria (Surana Warden).  * shrugs *  Maybe I'm a bit harsh on myself when it comes to my stories?

[Seracen]

Marriage or not, in terms of what we see, never really concerned me.  So long as the romance was done well, and the payoff was poignant, I could head canon a marriage and "lots of little blue babies," or whatever.

 

Heck, sometimes it takes even less than that, if I find the characters interesting.  By all accounts, I shouldn't have cared about Dragon's Dogma, as the story was not as defined as I generally like.  Yet somehow, I found it compelling, even the romances, and played multiple times.

 

As for the whole Alistair thing: you get married to the snarky yet loveable white knight, then become Queen.  In terms of catharsis, it doesn't get any happier than that; it's sweet enough to cause diabetes, haha!

 

Personally, I always used the romance glitch that allowed Cousland to romance Morrigan AND Leliana without repercussion.  Thus, when the Witch inevitably left the Warden after the finale, the Thief was around for the rebound, mwahahaha!

[hot_heart]

Argh, why don't the thought-ideas that are in my brain come out into the story-thing neatly translated into coherent word-pieces? Why is it so much WORK-EFFORT?!

 

p.s. Hi.

[BronzTrooper]

lol.  

[YurigirlzCrush]

*waves* hi everyone!

 

I have nothing relevant or interesting to say. so instead I will offer you all an amazingly useful piece of advice pulled from a television commercial...

 

"don't chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal."

 

I think we can all agree, that's useful to everyone! *nod*

 

really, I just wanted to say hi to everyone while I actually had a few minutes free of both schoolwork and distractions orchestrated by my baby sister. hope everyone is doing well! *smiles*

[hot_heart]

Eek, should have my story finished by the end of the week. Planning to put out the last two chapters (and the MA-rated version of one as a one-shot) simultaneously. Mainly because the last one is short but (bitter)sweet and just split off from the main chunk of it, but also because I want people to go and reread the prologue beforehand.

 

I'm kind of excited to see it through, but I sense I'll get some hate for the copout ending. I'm not sure many people are still reading anyway, so I'm just happy to be doing it for myself. I actually enjoy a great deal of the content in chapter 26, even if it is smartarsery disguised as fluff. I'm not sure the MA-rated stuff is brilliant and maybe I didn't push myself enough, but it is what it is.

 

Anyway, I didn't even come to talk about that. Here is an exhaustive and interesting article on story structure. I can't actually say I've ever made direct use of those ideas myself, but there's usually something valuable within regardless.

http://othernetwork....ucture-a-story/

[enayasoul]

Eek, should have my story finished by the end of the week. Planning to put out the last two chapters (and the MA-rated version of one as a one-shot) simultaneously. Mainly because the last one is short but (bitter)sweet and just split off from the main chunk of it, but also because I want people to go and reread the prologue beforehand.

 

I'm kind of excited to see it through, but I sense I'll get some hate for the copout ending. I'm not sure many people are still reading anyway, so I'm just happy to be doing it for myself. I actually enjoy a great deal of the content in chapter 26, even if it is smartarsery disguised as fluff. I'm not sure the MA-rated stuff is brilliant and maybe I didn't push myself enough, but it is what it is.

 

Anyway, I didn't even come to talk about that. Here is an exhaustive and interesting article on story structure. I can't actually say I've ever made direct use of those ideas myself, but there's usually something valuable within regardless.

http://othernetwork....ucture-a-story/

That's great that you'll finish up this story!  I've read the latest chapter but haven't sent you any feedback.  It felt like a long ongoing combat situation in which it was from Miranda's perspective.  I did like the suspense on not knowing if the other team would survive or not near the end of the chapter.  In between, it felt long. People died but I really didn't know who died or why I should care that they died. What I mean is, I didn't feel connected to those that died so it didn't effect me much.  It looks like a tough chapter to write. 

 

I'm looking forward to the next chapter.       

 

Thanks for the link above.  Very insightful.  I can see where these could be used.  Hmm... thinks about some of these on the list. 

[teh DRUMPf!!]

 Pushing the 20-page mark with my latest chapter, and it's basically all fluff. Don't like the way my writing came out for most of it, either. Too heavy-handed. 'Spent a lot of time just trying to pull the ideas out of my head. Didn't readily flow out much at all.

 

It's going to need lots of refinement. Not looking forward to the editing process. =\

[enayasoul]

I'm currently at 19 pages (6647 words in and may go on for another 2k?) for my current chapter and everything seems to be flowing really well, so far.  I've settled on not getting to the next big section of the story which most ideas have been written down in some form. Just needs shaping up.  The two chapters will no doubt be related storywise to each other from the plots established thus far.  It seems like a lot of information was dumped in this chapter.  I hope it doesn't seem that way to the reader but given valuable insight into the characters within the areas mentioned.  Sort of like revealing all the cards on the table through investigation style questions/answer...  hopefully the readers will enjoy.  I have the ending of the chapter all conceptualized just need to write it up from all my notes and scribbles. But I need something more in between what I've written so far and before the ending of the chapter. *THINKS REALLY HARD*

[hot_heart]

It looks like a tough chapter to write. 

 

Oh, it was. Hence why I was originally going to gloss over it.

 

It was just a struggle to balance all the different elements. "Well, it can't go perfectly...but it can't go too badly. It would affect Miranda...but she wouldn't be too emotional. If I kill this person maybe that's going too far, or maybe that's cliche. ARGH!"

 

Good thing is, that once I'm done I can concentrate on reading and providing proper feedback on other stories. I'll also be going 'full-time' on an original piece I want to write, which should be a lot of fun.

[Seracen]

Argh, why don't the thought-ideas that are in my brain come out into the story-thing neatly translated into coherent word-pieces? Why is it so much WORK-EFFORT?!

 

p.s. Hi.

 

Hah, I can't count the number of times I've felt this sentiment.

[BronzTrooper]

Almost to the 50,000 word mark with my main fanfic, TLFW.  Only three chapters away from hitting 20 chapters.  I feel so proud of myself.  

[YurigirlzCrush]

yay! my 27th consecutive morning wakeup to watch Frozen before school! (or before breakfast on the weekends) *cheers*

 

and I have to say, I had a lot more tolerance for this particular movie than some of the others I've been subjected to in the last six months, but even a movie I really like becomes irritating with enough repetition, it seems. *sigh*

 

 

however, I did have relevant things to say today! yay!

 

first. congrats, hot_heart on nearing the finish of your story! I am sorry to say I haven't read it, but that has nothing to do with your writing or anything. I sadly am just not into reading stories with a male Shepard (which I assume yours has since it's a Miranda romance as the basis if I recall correctly) but for me, Femshep is the ONLY Shep! *smiles* but still, I'm always happy to see a writer finish their project, and am totes cheering you on in the home stretch! and working on an original project sounds like it will be fun too.

 

second, I have to ask... do you guys reformat your page size or double-space the document or something when writing? because 7K words in 19 pages is off for me. my chapters all seem to come out at 6.5-7K and not one has exceeded 15 pages in word yet.

 

finally, I need advice. if you all were writing sections for a blind character (from their perspective) how would you handle the introduction of that bit of information. I'm having fun writing the scenes themselves, and considering how to paint the scene without using visual descriptors has been challenging, but not as hard as I expected. but I'm having a really hard time nailing down the opening bit. I've written everything from a first sentence starting with "Though she couldn't see," to leaving it completely unsaid and just slowly letting it become known by other cues throughout the first section. I'd love to hear advice and opinions on the best course of action, since this is turning into another one of my inescapable rewrite pits. *sigh* sort of like my ME fic, which has been completely rewritten five times now (I would have completed a total of 26 chapters if I hadn't rewritten the same 5 repeatedly)

 

oh! and... I hope everyone is having a fantastic morning! *waves* now, back to Frozen!

[hot_heart]

first. congrats, hot_heart on nearing the finish of your story! I am sorry to say I haven't read it, but that has nothing to do with your writing or anything. I sadly am just not into reading stories with a male Shepard (which I assume yours has since it's a Miranda romance as the basis if I recall correctly) but for me, Femshep is the ONLY Shep! *smiles* but still, I'm always happy to see a writer finish their project, and am totes cheering you on in the home stretch! and working on an original project sounds like it will be fun too.

 

Thanks, much appreciated! I will point out that it's not necessarily a 'romance' (I certainly haven't tagged it that way) as it's set mostly during ME3. So rather than the relationship being at the forefront or even that prominent, Shepard is an 'intermittent presence'.

 

I thought it was an interesting angle to explore, and works with Miranda. Characters aren't defined wholly by a romantic relationship...but at the same time, she can't deny the effect it's had. I've labelled it as adventure/drama because I feel those are a better, looser description, but yeah, if you're not fond of stories/relationships with male Shepards, I can't really help there.

 

As for your second question, I think that is only enayasoul's particular story. She uses an almost script format, and those can span pages and pages (general rule is one minute of screentime per page...then allow something like 10%).

 

In terms of your own story, I do like the idea of a slightly delayed reveal. But then I've always been a fan of letting people be confused or have to catch-up a little, as my flashback scenes can probably attest. I think it helps keep the reader's interest as they pay more attention to what is being written, searching for clues.

 

So, in your case, if you start by establishing that the person's blind, I could see a reader thinking, "OK, so now they're gonna go through what they can sense" with a little less room for surprise, whereas if they're unaware, they're more keenly absorbing what they can until things become clearer.