9960 réponses à ce sujet

[teh DRUMPf!!]

 Finally done with that dingus chapter. 11k on the word count. Now I can finally move on to the real action.

[ftkerns]

Sigh. I keep planning to post more often here, then life keeps getting in the way.   Not going to go into a ton of detail about it...just been having several serious issues going on for the last few months that have kept me pretty thoroughly distracted. Employment situation, financial situation, having my car fall apart completely and getting a new one because it's less money than fixing everything wrong with the old car, even though I can barely afford the payments, but if I don't have a car, I lose my job (delivery job), and then lose my home. Well, you get the picture. I've had a lot on my mind, and that's also kept me from focusing much on my writing.

 

Some of this stuff has either blown over or eased up, though I still have more than enough to worry about. Still, I finally reached the point a couple weeks ago where I could concentrate on writing and finally make some progress. And then I decided, if I keep waiting until I've got things pretty much handled before I post anything here again, I'll probably never post anything at all.

 

First of all, something I probably should get off my chest. It kind of bugs me that when someone posts a negative review on something you wrote, and you think it's way off the mark, it's considered bad form to tell the reviewer off. Also, the comment I'm talking about was posted as a "guest," so there's no way for me to reply directly without posting it as a separate review on my own story. So I guess I'll do a little venting here.

 

I should say that I'm not complaining because the comment was negative. I'm fine with constructive criticism--if there's something wrong with what I wrote, fine, point it out, but offer some suggestions to fix whatever it is. My problem is when someone just takes a big crap on your hard work and leaves it at that. Especially when they don't sign in, and just post the comment as "guest" so I can't reply directly, even to ask some questions and try to figure out what they have such a problem with. When someone does that, it's just a ****-and-run.

 

Anyway. The problem here seemed to be that my story just wasn't the reader's cup of tea. Which is perfectly fine. My writing isn't suited to everyone's tastes, and the same is true for every other writer. There's tons of stories that I'm not interested in. But when I start to read something and find that it's not my cup of tea, I just stop reading and move on to something else. But this reader...well, I'll just dive right into it.

 

"This story is pretty good but it also pretty bad."

I don't have that much of a problem with this. It just confuses me. It's either good or bad (or just "meh"). Which is it?

 

"However, as good as your story is, all the huggy huggy cross species with the tidal wave of sexual innuendos pretty made me say, "yep, this is a fanfiction.""

Huh. First, "all the huggy huggy cross species"...what? Among the main characters of Freelancers, there are two interspecies couples (one male human/female turian, one male human/female krogan). The main quarian character, Chula, once humped it out with an asari she met on Omega, and while she probably wouldn't mind getting together again, she hasn't given it much though since it happened. There were several scenes in recent chapters of Lia'Vael having a conversation with a character who kind of stumbled into a career as a "consort"-type, sort of like Sha'ira, and ended up mostly servicing aliens, because that's just how things worked out. And there's one recent bit about Captain Bailey's son hooking up with a batarian just because they (and everyone around them) were convinced that they were going to die within the next few days. (Well, a secondary point of that one is just to make Bailey think, "AUGH, I don't want that image in my head!"   )

 

But that's it. In 21 chapters, that's all of that sort of thing. Well, aside from stuff you just assume will be in the background simply because it happens all the time in the games, such as asari hooking up with all sorts of other species. But as for the "tidal wave of sexual innuendos"...eh, I just don't see that either. Occasionally one of the characters will joke about something sexual, or make some other kind of sexually-charged remark, but if that bothers you, all I can say is, "Welcome to life."

 

As for the "yep, this is a fanfiction" remark...here's where I start to get a little irritated. This story is posted on Fanfiction.net. Every goddamn story posted there is fanfiction. If fanfiction is so beneath you, then why are you reading it?

 

And finally, we get to the one that really pissed me off. "In my opinion it makes your story feel so... fake and i honestly hope you dont post anymore."

No. **** you. If you don't like the story and you're not interested in offering suggestions on how to improve it, then just find something else to read. But don't you dare tell me to stop writing it. It's the story I've got in my head that I need to write, I'm having fun with it and enough people seem to be enjoying reading it, and I will continue writing and posting it until it's finished. And if you don't like that, you can just kiss the darkest part of my pasty white ass.

 

Sorry for the rant. I know this shouldn't bug me, but it did. It's been about a month, but this was still  nagging at me, and since responding in this manner is frowned upon in the actual comment/review section, I  had to unload it somewhere. I don't want to give the impression that I don't allow negative reviews or anything like that. In fact, this is the first comment I ever received that set me off like this. I've gotten plenty of comments from people who like Freelancers, so I'm not sure why this one got under my skin. But I just had to get this off my chest.

 

There was actually a comment from someone else (also posted as "guest") on an earlier (but recent) chapter that brought up some things such as, the aliens all pretty much acting like humans. Which is how the aliens in the actual games are--I've noticed that from ME1 on. They're aliens, but their vocal mannerisms are often not much different from humans. However, this is a point I try to keep in mind as I continue writing. I need to catch myself more often when I write dialogue for aliens, and try to keep it from coming across as too human. (Which I'm probably not succeeding at, yet.) So that comment was actually useful.

 

The same reader commented again a day or two later and retracted everything they said in the previous review, which confused me a bit. Ever since, I've been wondering what it was that changed their mind. Like I said, I thought the previous comment was useful, so I'm not sure what happened here....

 

Anyway. Again, sorry for the rant. Just had to do some venting. 

 

Now, some replies...sorry if they're a bit random. I started with a couple of the most recent and worked back from there.

 

Back again guys!  About to post another 10 chapters.  Figured I'd peek in real quick.

 

As for PC's... best thing to do is build yourself.  However, many find this far too complicated.  Personally, I prefer buying a branded PC and upgrading.  It's nice to have recovery disks, etc...

 

Anyhoo, as for my last PC...I bought a clearance model (when they switch operating systems or processors, the old ones go on sale).  I dropped about $400 for a decent rig, a solid Video Card, and some extra RAM.  I then waited a few months for the new graphics cards to come out, and bought the previous models (which went on sale).  Had the choice to run two cards...but I didn't feel like buying a larger power supply, so I sold the old parts. All told, I ended up spending maybe $500 for a well-equipped PC.

 

Not an UBER PC, mind you, but I can still run everything I've thrown its way at high-spec (maybe had to do a bit of tinkering here and there).  Of course, there's lots of little things I do, maintenance or upgrade, to get longevity as well.  Still, once you've "Frankensteined" a working PC out of spare parts...few things scare you PC-wise (also, backups upon backups).  Moreover, you don't feel the burn as much, when spreading out the cost like that.  But I digress...

 

Ach...so many grammatical errors, when you are just writing stories to get them out.  Sad thing is I will likely miss quite a few that will still likely grate for some folks.  Ah well, it isn't as if I'm paying an editor and publishing a NY Times Best Seller...regardless of what Amazon eventually does with fanfics...

 

Congrats on the new chapters.   I hope someday I have time to finally read all the stuff I feel like I should be reading already. Between RL pulling the ground out from under my feet over and over, and all the stories in my head that I need to write out (more about that below), the job, and searching for a better job...yeah. 

 

As for PCs, I agree completely that it's best to build your own. And after having one store-bought computer after another shuffle off a year or less after I bought them, I got fed up and decided to build one myself. If I remember correctly, it was in 2007--in August--and it's the same computer I'm typing this on now. I found instructions on what components I needed and how to put them together, then bought them and dived right in. Started off with an initial $800 investment for the parts, and only had a few screw-ups (ordered the wrong RAM, had to send it back and exchange it for the right one, etc.). Took about four days to put it all together, since it was my first build and I wasn't sure of what I was doing. Got it to work once everything was put together. And since then, I've upgraded the processor and motherboard (started off with a quad-core, and now I'm using an 8-core), and replaced the power supply a couple times (once because the original died after lasting over five years, and the second because it exploded one night and fried the motherboard, so I had to replace that as well). But it's still chugging away almost like it's brand new, and the specs are good enough that it'll be able to run new software for years to come. 

 

The last store-bought computer I had, lasted about five months before it died. The ones I had previously, almost never lasted more than a year or maybe a year and a half. And now that I've built my own, I have a much better idea of how to fix it when something breaks, and I can just replace the specific part(s) rather than buy a whole new PC again and again.

 

A couple years ago, one of my friends had a crappy computer and wanted a good one, and asked about getting the parts and building her own, vs. just getting a store-bought one. She ended up going for the former, and asked me to build it for her. So I did, and even though it had been several years since I built mine, this time it only took about four hours. 

 

It then became a question of how to present this information: whether spoon-feeding it in the author's notes, or trying to frame it within the narrative (and finding the right place for it).  I ended up going with option #2, since one should never HAVE to read A/N's to understand the story, however much it helps.

 

Still, anyone else grapple with this?  Is the universe so ingrained in your head, that you simply forget to address certain key elements sometimes?

 

I've run into that a few times, though I don't recall it happening on Fanfiction.net. The readers there seem pretty familiar with the subject matter already. On other sites...well, I post a lot of my original work as well as fanfics on FanStory.com, and there I've had to put footnotes on the first few chapters to explain the setting and alien species and technology. And after posting one of the latest chapters there, a couple readers commented that they didn't know what "ladar" was, and I had to explain it. I planned to add a footnote on the chapter itself, but then I kept forgetting.

 

I do tend to assume most readers know what's going on in the universe my fics are set in, at least when I post on FF.net. I learned that it's different on other sites, especially on FanStory. There's a category for fanfiction there, but most of the readers who've commented on Freelancers and my Transformers Prime stories had no knowledge at all about either setting. While, as you said, you shouldn't have to put exposition in footnotes or author's notes, it can be really hard to find the right balance when you're putting exposition in dialogue or narration. Too much and you have readers thinking, "Hey, I already know this stuff, let's get on with the story!" even though it's useful for people who have little or no knowledge of Mass Effect or whatever else. But if there's not enough, then people unfamiliar with it might have trouble following along. I don't think I've been able to find the right balance, myself. I try different approaches every now and then. For example, this scene in Chapter 21, in which Chula and Tela Vasir are about to have a "sparring match" that resulted from Vasir shooting her mouth off and not expecting Chula to accept her challenge. 

 

"Well, this is hardly fair." Vasir stood in the center of the mat and waved a hand over her dark gray tunic and pants. "Your quarian pet is wearing that helmet and envirosuit, yet all I have is this simple outfit."

 

"Quarians can't take their suits off unless they're in a completely sterile environment, and you know it." Valeria crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Vasir. "Besides, since when do you fight fair? If the dead could speak, I'm sure there are several large encampments filled with your victims who'd be happy to tell us all how you slaughtered them even though they were unarmed."

 

 

 

I think that bit of dialogue is kind of clumsy...I mean, it's something Vasir and everyone else in-story already knows, so it shouldn't have to be pointed out. But it does help get an important bit of background info across to anyone who isn't already familiar with the setting. Still, little things like this probably wouldn't grate too much on the nerves of people who are much more familiar with Mass Effect. I still need to find more subtle ways of doing this, though.

 

One idea I'm mulling over for a more blatant approach, yet having it be kind of justified, is to bring in some background characters who will need things explained to them. People who have been in hibernation, sort of like Javik in that cryo-tube. So they'll have absolutely no idea what's going on, and if they're from far enough in the past, they won't have any idea who or what any of the aliens are, and someone will have to keep answering their questions. Still not sure if I'll use this or not, because it would be pretty ham-fisted. 

 

 

I did it! I finally did it. Nearly two years later and I finished my story. Though I'm sure something was trying to stop me. Would've had it done on Saturday but had to go in and help with a problem at work, then when I got it finished yesterday, my PC's PSU fan decided to do an impression of a circular saw. Actually posting from my phone right now.

 

Congrats.  It's always a good feeling to finish a story and accomplish what you've set out to do, especially when it's taken a long time.

 

Sorry about the PSU problems. I can definitely relate, having had a PSU blow up a little over a year ago and take the motherboard with it. Took several months to get hold of the money I needed to replace them. I hope you're able to fix it a lot faster.

 

When that happened, at least I had a laptop I could use to keep writing and posting stuff, and also pay my bills. But the laptop has since snuffed it and I won't be able to get a new one for the foreseeable future. Even though I really couldn't spare the money, I finally ended up blowing fifty bucks on a tablet so I could at least keep writing and have web and email access in case my computer has another catastrophic breakdown. 

 

I can't work on more than one story at a time. I may get ideas for another, and I'll write them down, but I cannot write more than one story at a time. It's the characters. They get upset. It's not the pre-existing characters that get upset. It's the original characters that get upset.

 

When I first started writing, I'd stick to just one at a time. But in recent years, I've found that I have so many ideas in my head, and at some point they start clicking together, and I just have to start writing the story that's trying to burst out. If I try to put it on hold until I finish the current work-in-progress, I either lose track of the plot even if I take copious notes, or I just lose interest in the story. As a result, I'm currently working on six different novels/stories/novelletes/serials at the same time.

 

So, I've got Freelancers, my Mass Effect fic, 21 chapters in and currently working on 22. And it's barely gotten started. 92,000 words so far, and I'm starting to think it might hit 500,000 before it's finished, though I'm hoping it won't be that bloated. 

 

Then there's Harbinger, which is my latest TFP fic, sequel to three previous ones. These tend to only run between six and ten chapters, so far.

 

My original novel, Project: Phoenix, which I probably should think of a better title for. It usually takes me around a year or so to write a novel, but I've been working on this one for several years because of various circumstances.

 

And a few others...anyway, I just kind of fell into this way of writing, and haven't been able to stay focused on just one story since. Usually I'll write a chapter of one, then a chapter of another, and so on, though occasionally I hit a writer's block on one and have to keep writing the others until I can break through the blockage.

 

So you guys are hearing voices in your heads that help you type scenes for your characters...  

 

I think there's somewhere you can go to help with that...

 

Heheh. With me, it's more a case of writing certain characters for so long...using them in several stories or novels, spending so much time thinking about what they'll say in conversations, what thoughts will go through their heads, what their actions will be. Do it long enough, and they start to become almost like real people, in the sense that you know them so well that their thoughts, dialogue, and actions go from your mind into the story you're writing in a way that's kind of second-nature. At least that's how it works for me. I just get to a point where it almost feels like the characters are acting on their own, even though I'm still directing them. I figure out how a scene starts and get an idea of how it ends, and just start writing, and the characters determine how it gets from Point A to Point B.

 

Argh...I know this post is already way too long, but there's just a couple other things I want to bring up....

 

The thing Amazon is doing with fanfiction, Kindle Worlds, was discussed here a while back. At first it seemed like an awesome opportunity, but then after looking into the details, it didn't seem like that good of thing to get into. Still, I'm in rather desperate need of extra money, and figured I should at least give it a shot if they ever started selling fics in a setting I was actually interested in. Which was the other big problem I had with Kindle Worlds since the whole thing started--I just couldn't care less about any of the "Worlds" they had the rights to.

 

Until now. They recently added GI Joe to their list. Even though I'm not that big a fan of GI Joe, at least it's something I might be able to work with. I tried watching the 1980s TV series to refresh my memory, but to be honest, it was so awful I pulled the ripcord after finishing the first episode. I tried watching the Renegades show from a few years ago, and found that I can actually enjoy it. And of course, there's GI Joe: Resolute, which is just badass. So I'm taking a few cues from that one.

 

Anyway. I wouldn't do this with Freelancers because I've put so much work into developing the main characters and have so much fun writing them, I wouldn't want to risk someone being able to take them and use them in their own stories, for which they would be paid, and not kick any compensation my way, even an acknowledgement that I created the characters. However, if I go into it with a different story and different characters, knowing this from the beginning, I'm okay with it. So I'm giving it a shot and seeing what happens. It's another storytelling venue, and there's a chance to make a few extra bucks, which I really need at this point. So I'm writing a story that could be turned into a series...but I'll just focus on this one and see how it goes. If it works out well enough, I'll continue. If it falls flat for one reason or another, oh well, I can just stop there and use whatever ideas I had for future installments in my other stories.

 

One other interesting thing that happened recently. One of my readers over on FanStory has asked me to help her with several action scenes in her books. She seems to think I'm pretty good at writing that sort of thing, so I'm doing what I can to help. Recently she asked me where I learned to write action and if I could tell her where or teach her how to do it. There isn't really one specific place or thing that I learned this stuff, it's more of a gradual process of trying different things and finding out which ones work. I've never tried to teach anyone anything before, so I don't know how useful I'll be, but it seems like a fun little project, and I'm happy to try to help.

 

One of the thing I'm thinking about trying for this is showing her how a specific scene comes together in my head. I'll probably use the bit I mentioned a few months ago, about my turian Spectre character finding out that an old enemy has kidnapped her husband in an attempt to draw her out...and how poorly it ends for him.  I still haven't figured out where, exactly, in Freelancers this will happen, so I haven't written the scene yet, but this might actually help me put the scene together and fill in details I haven't figured out yet. So, I start off with the seed of the idea, then build from there...and gradually new details click together in my mind and flesh the whole thing out. Like, at first it was just Valeria's husband and a few random people being abducted by this merc, then just a few days ago I thought it might be more interesting if the other people kidnapped along with him were members of Valeria's family. They've kind of been shunning her because she fell in love with a human, especially because she met him while working for Fornax after she resigned from the Spectres a few years previously (before being forced to rejoin...it's kind of a long story), so I'm thinking just having them in the same room with her hubby, before the abduction happens, should be all kinds of fun. 

 

Anyway, I've been thinking of more details to add to this whole thing, and by the time I can work it into the rest of the fic, I should have the entire sequence worked out. And it'll basically be just a string of badass moments for Valeria.  If this teaching thing works out well enough, I might look into consulting other writers who want help with action scenes.

 

Well, crap, now I'm starting to ramble. This post is already too long, so I'll wrap it up here. I keep hoping I'll be able to post more frequently and keep each one a lot shorter, but...well, I guess I'll just have to see how much life keeps me sidetracked in the future.

 

PS--I just tried to post and got this error message: "You have posted a message with more emoticons than this community allows. Please reduce the number of emoticons you've added to the message" Um, what the hell? There's a limit on...what? Since when? *facepalm*

 

Addendum: I just removed four emoticons and got the same error. *headdesk* All I can do is keep removing them until it finally works....

[BronzTrooper]

Damn, that's a long post.  

[ftkerns]

Damn, that's a long post.  

 

Haha, yeah.  I have that problem with my writing as well as posting here. I keep telling myself, "Keep it short...don't be long-winded about everything..." and it always turns into something massive. 

[BronzTrooper]

Haha, yeah.  I have that problem with my writing as well as posting here. I keep telling myself, "Keep it short...don't be long-winded about everything..." and it always turns into something massive. 

 

lol  

 

I don't have that problem with my stories since I tend to limit myself to keeping each chapter in a story similar in length.  For TLFW (The Last of the Fereldan Wardens) I tend to go with 5-6 pages per chapter (I'm on word processor).  For my SI fanfic, it's about the same as is Keep Running.  For A Warden's Letters it's anywhere from 3-6 pages depending on the content in the chapter.  For On the Run, it's usually 4-5 pages and all 4 chapters for Vengeance were about the same.

 

I'm actually planning on doing a story that's made up of a series of one-shots for DA.  There won't be any specific order and most likely they won't be related to each other, let alone my other stories.  I've already gotten the first one-shot for it typed up, but I sent it to a friend of mine and I'm waiting for them to get back to me on it.  Not sure what to name the story itself, though.  Any ideas guys?

[Seracen]

Bump for great justice!  I imagine exam time is toasting most of us though.  Still, I figured no need to let this thread fall off the first page.

 

Anyhoo, anybody know an easier way of posting multiple chapters to deviant art?  I intend to have my story uploaded to ff.net pretty soon.  AO3 happens to have a quick archiver, allowing me to access my posts from another site.  I was hoping DA would do the same (imagine that's for premium accounts though).

 

 

Haha, yeah.    I have that problem with my writing as well as posting here. I keep telling myself, "Keep it short...don't be long-winded about everything..." and it always turns into something massive.  

 

No problem mate.  There has been no shortage of essays that I have written on this thread as well.  It's better to work those things out like this anyways.  As for the hatemail, pay it no mind.  I, for one, have enjoyed your story quite a bit, and look forward to reading more of it!

 

Of course, I am also one of those people who reads in fits and starts, unless the story is complete.  Then, I am likely to marathon that mofo!

 

 

lol   

 

I don't have that problem with my stories since I tend to limit myself to keeping each chapter in a story similar in length.  [snip]  Not sure what to name the story itself, though.  Any ideas guys?

 

Oh Lord, I am terribad with story titles, lol!

[BronzTrooper]

Oh Lord, I am terribad with story titles, lol!

 

Why do you think I asked for suggestions?  

[hot_heart]

 

Congrats.  It's always a good feeling to finish a story and accomplish what you've set out to do, especially when it's taken a long time.

 

Thanks!

 

Yeah, fortunately, the computer hasn't blown or anything (yet). Just the PSU's fan making that annoying grinding noise. I am considering getting a new laptop (currently borrowing one) but I'm actually in the fortunate position of there being a loyalty scheme with one of our company's suppliers, so soon enough I'll have enough points to get a tablet.

 

Of course, first world problem-wise, they only have iPads or Kindle Fires when I'd prefer something Android...  I suppose there's until September to see if they add anything more.

 

 

As for your concerns about the negative review, I can't help but sound elitist in saying that their grasp of the English language/inability to express anything coherent, let alone constructive, suggests that you'd never get anything worthwhile out of them anyway. Best just to ignore it. 

[BronzTrooper]

Well, I put up the story of one-shots.  Named it, Dragon Age: What if.  I already got an idea for another one-shot to add to it, but I want to wait a bit before typing it.  You guys have any scenarios/suggestions for me?  I'm getting into doing prompts, for some reason.  

[ftkerns]

lol  

 

I don't have that problem with my stories since I tend to limit myself to keeping each chapter in a story similar in length.  For TLFW (The Last of the Fereldan Wardens) I tend to go with 5-6 pages per chapter (I'm on word processor).  For my SI fanfic, it's about the same as is Keep Running.  For A Warden's Letters it's anywhere from 3-6 pages depending on the content in the chapter.  For On the Run, it's usually 4-5 pages and all 4 chapters for Vengeance were about the same.

 

I'm actually planning on doing a story that's made up of a series of one-shots for DA.  There won't be any specific order and most likely they won't be related to each other, let alone my other stories.  I've already gotten the first one-shot for it typed up, but I sent it to a friend of mine and I'm waiting for them to get back to me on it.  Not sure what to name the story itself, though.  Any ideas guys?

 

I manage to keep the chapters at 4,000 to 7,000 words, usually. The thing I have trouble with is keeping the stories themselves short. When I first started writing and trying to get published, I kept trying to do short stories, and could never keep them under the word limit. When I started writing my first TFP fic, I planned it to be a one-shot. Even if it ended up being a bit long, it would be just a bit of character development and would then come to a definite end. While writing it, I realized that was never gonna happen.  The first chapter ended up being 10,000 words (on DeviantArt and Fanstory, I actually had to split it into two separate chapters before it would actually post), and I told myself I could just make it a two-chapter thing. Like a two-part episode. Nope. Nine chapters, total. And it only ended there because the focus of the plot shifted enough to end it in a kinda-sorta cliffhanger and continue the plot threads in the second story. And that's how it's gone with all of them, so far.

 

And with Freelancers...yeah. It's already quite long-winded, and I don't see that changing. D:

 

As for titles, I'm kinda hit-and-miss with those. Sometimes I'll come up with something that works, and other times I'll strain my brain and finally throw my hands up and title a chapter something like "The Cave" just for the sake of moving on to the next obstacle. And since I know next to nothing about Dragon Age, I'm afraid I wouldn't be very useful with this. 

 

Bump for great justice!  I imagine exam time is toasting most of us though.  Still, I figured no need to let this thread fall off the first page.

 

Anyhoo, anybody know an easier way of posting multiple chapters to deviant art?  I intend to have my story uploaded to ff.net pretty soon.  AO3 happens to have a quick archiver, allowing me to access my posts from another site.  I was hoping DA would do the same (imagine that's for premium accounts though).

 

 

 

No problem mate.  There has been no shortage of essays that I have written on this thread as well.  It's better to work those things out like this anyways.  As for the hatemail, pay it no mind.  I, for one, have enjoyed your story quite a bit, and look forward to reading more of it!

 

Of course, I am also one of those people who reads in fits and starts, unless the story is complete.  Then, I am likely to marathon that mofo!

 

 

 

Oh Lord, I am terribad with story titles, lol!

 

Oh, awesome!  I didn't know you'd read any of it. (Sorry if you've mentioned it before and I just forgot. All the stuff I've been dealing with during the past couple years, especially the last few months, has given me a case of chronic cranial flatulence.) Glad to hear you're enjoying it. I'm just having fun writing it, though Mass Effect 3 pissed me off to the point where I decided to rework the story into my personal ending to the whole story. And because of that, I'm determined to finish the story, and not just stop updating it one day.

 

I try to finish at least one chapter per month (one chapter of Freelancers, one of my novel, one of whatever other story I'm working on, etc., then repeat the cycle each month). Haven't been able to keep up with it lately, but I'm trying to get back into the routine.

 

The hatemail...yeah, it hardly ever happens and when it does, I'm usually able to shrug it off. When the commenter doesn't know what he's talking about, eh, whatever. But the sheer dismissiveness of this one got to me a little. What compounds the frustration is this rule that telling off someone like that is somehow wrong. But it's good to at least get it out of my system here, and now I can move on. Though I have to admit, I'm more than a little tempted to put an author's note in the next chapter dedicating it to the guy who told me to stop posting the story.    

 

As for posting chapters on DeviantArt...it used to be a lot easier, though I don't know if they have anything like a batch-uploader. When they changed the process, I ran into one problem after another, until I started using Sta.sh and clicking the "compose in Sta.sh" button on the right. Then I'd just insert the title graphic and copy-paste the text. And for some reason, this works better with some word processors than it does with others. I use Atlantis for everything I write, but when I copy a chapter from it and paste it into Sta.sh or FanStory or anywhere else, the text formatting is always removed. But when I copy it from OpenOffice or LibreOffice, the italics and other formatting are kept in. 

 

 

Thanks!

 

Yeah, fortunately, the computer hasn't blown or anything (yet). Just the PSU's fan making that annoying grinding noise. I am considering getting a new laptop (currently borrowing one) but I'm actually in the fortunate position of there being a loyalty scheme with one of our company's suppliers, so soon enough I'll have enough points to get a tablet.

 

Of course, first world problem-wise, they only have iPads or Kindle Fires when I'd prefer something Android...  I suppose there's until September to see if they add anything more.

 

 

As for your concerns about the negative review, I can't help but sound elitist in saying that their grasp of the English language/inability to express anything coherent, let alone constructive, suggests that you'd never get anything worthwhile out of them anyway. Best just to ignore it. 

Glad to hear the computer's still working. When the fan started making that sound, it must've been unsettling. I panic every time my computer makes a noise I've never heard it make before.

 

I'm an Android guy, too. I've tried using Apple products, and just never took a liking to them. For me, it's Windows and Android all the way. 

 

And yeah, that review...I couldn't help noticing the lack of an apostrophe in the "dont" and a few other things. Most of the time stuff like that makes it easy to shrug these things off. I once had a review on FanStory that, while it wasn't rude at all, kind of made me roll my eyes. Just had a lot of stuff like, being unable to get any of the characters' names right. He made a remark about a scene with my krogan, Dakka, and spelled her name something like "Ducka." *weapons-grade facepalm* 

 

Hmm...now for an idea that came to me a while back, for that action sequence with Valeria that I've been talking about. Honestly, I'm not sure if this is awesome, or just creepy. O_o Basically, I had this idea that she would shut down the merc base's surveillance systems when she commences her assault. Then, later, I thought of something to add....

 

 

In the merc command center...

-

Mook: "Camera 47 is operational again. I don't get it. She knocked out every camera in the base, so why'd she turn this one back on?"

Boss: " She wants us to see this."

-

Valeria wipes out every merc near her, then glares into the camera.

-

"You shouldn't have touched my family."

-

She quick-draws her gun and shoots the camera out.

-

The boss nearly soils his armor.

 

Heh. Like I said, still not sure if it's badass or just creepy. Either way, I'm putting that in the scene. 

 

Yay, I managed to keep this post relatively short. Heh. And now, It's almost time to head off to the sub-minimum-wage job....

[TheSagaris]

Hey there, I am new to these forums myself, and I came her first because I need a tad of advice.

 

Lets just say that I am working on my own... project for Mass Effect.

 

I have a question about lore though - is it standard for Alliance personnel to carry Hahne-Kedar weapons? They wouldn't carry, say, weapons that are manufactured by Elkoss Combine? Or was I right in the first place about Hahne-Kedar?

 

Thank you in advance 

[sH0tgUn jUliA]

Regarding PCs, I've usually had them built at a local PC shop. They build them better and cheaper than the ready mades, and I get what I want on them. 

 

Re: the story in my signature... It is still being proofed. It isn't going up on FF until that is done and I have the results back. I'll probably post it in quarters since it is a completed work of 48 chapters and about 140,000 words. I'm thinking of cutting some things from it at this point, but I'm still on the fence. I'll let my beta readers tell me. I don't really want to mess with posting one chapter at a time. I don't title my chapters in the final copy. They're just numbered. 

 

@ftkerns - your aliens talk like humans. Guess what? You're human. If you made them talk like aliens they'd be very difficult to understand. People would put your story down. I really wouldn't go so far as to do that. I read a story once where a character was an alien and tried to explain their feelings in terms that humans would understand. It got so drawn out in information dumps that I got bored with it. Keep it simple. Who is your target audience? You are going to get negative reviews. You are going to get positive reviews. If people sign their positive reviews value them. If people sign their negative reviews put some value on them. If they're anonymous with their negative reviews and they're not constructive, I'd just let them go rant. I have my account set up so I can moderate reviews of my stuff on FF.net. So if a review is just a troll, and I know a troll when I see it, I hope I can delete it - and I will. 

 

It's making me wonder how my story with all OCs and one canon character is going to be received. The canon character is Jack. I'm not worried about outshining her biotic squad. Jack gets her bad ass moment.

[Seracen]

Hey there, I am new to these forums myself, and I came her first because I need a tad of advice.

 

Lets just say that I am working on my own... project for Mass Effect.

 

I have a question about lore though - is it standard for Alliance personnel to carry Hahne-Kedar weapons? They wouldn't carry, say, weapons that are manufactured by Elkoss Combine? Or was I right in the first place about Hahne-Kedar?

 

Thank you in advance 

Per the wiki, "The Hahne-Kedar company and Aldrin Labs are key suppliers of the military."

 

Although, there are a few premium grade gear upgrades, such as the Paladin Pistol, etc...usually provided by N7/Spectre Requisitions.

 

Moreover, there is ample evidence to suggest that soldiers are allowed to supplement their personal arsenals as they see fit (eg: notes in the Citadel DLC, as well as some spec ops agents speaking in overheard discussions).

 

 

 

@ftkerns - your aliens talk like humans. Guess what? You're human. If you made them talk like aliens they'd be very difficult to understand. People would put your story down. I really wouldn't go so far as to do that. I read a story once where a character was an alien and tried to explain their feelings in terms that humans would understand. It got so drawn out in information dumps that I got bored with it. Keep it simple. Who is your target audience? You are going to get negative reviews. You are going to get positive reviews. If people sign their positive reviews value them. If people sign their negative reviews put some value on them. If they're anonymous with their negative reviews and they're not constructive, I'd just let them go rant. I have my account set up so I can moderate reviews of my stuff on FF.net. So if a review is just a troll, and I know a troll when I see it, I hope I can delete it - and I will. 

 

It's making me wonder how my story with all OCs and one canon character is going to be received. The canon character is Jack. I'm not worried about outshining her biotic squad. Jack gets her bad ass moment.

 

Agree with much of the sentiment here.  The only deference I make to cultural difference occur is in short vignettes or jokes.  In this case, I consider the ME Universe to have a convergent evolution of culture, or the homogenization of intergalactic culture.  Furthermore, translators would also smooth over a lot of nuances in language, etc.

 

For example, a lot of sentiments in Asari Justicars have corellations to knights and samurai, while Batarians and Krogan conform to portions of Roman/Viking mentality.

 

As for reviews, I pay no mind to negative reviews.  However, there were a few critical reviews that provided good constructive advice.  Positive reviews are always a good morale boost.  Oddly enough, it's the middling reviews that tend to provide the most insight for me.

[Fatiguesdualism]

Hey there, I am new to these forums myself, and I came her first because I need a tad of advice.

 

Lets just say that I am working on my own... project for Mass Effect.

 

I have a question about lore though - is it standard for Alliance personnel to carry Hahne-Kedar weapons? They wouldn't carry, say, weapons that are manufactured by Elkoss Combine? Or was I right in the first place about Hahne-Kedar?

 

Thank you in advance 

During the first mission on Eden Prime the squad all carry Hahne-Kedar weapons - so depending on your position on the time-line that would fit.  If you tale's set after the Great Galactic Small-Arms Jump Backwards, sorry geth based thermal clip adaptation  - then things could be slightly less clear-cut depending how 'gun-nerd' you're wanting to go. 

 

@ftkerns:  Going to play Devil's Advocate here (sorry) but is the reviewer who stated '...honestly hope you don't post anymore' referring to the 'tidal wave of sexual innuendos' only - or to your work in general?  If it's the former...well...he's entitled  to his opinion (even if he may be suffering from That's what she said syndrome) and fair-do's; it's a suggestion for improving - have less innuendo.  If it's the latter - well he's right out of order.  

Perhaps what the chappy's writing is not really what he wants to say?  Heaven knows I do that often enough!  [Take's off advocate's hat]  Phew, anyway hope that helps somewhat.  If not just follow the advice from everyone else here and try to ignore it (the negative review I mean - not the advice) as best you can! 

 

I'm going to stop now before this hole I'm digging myself in gets any deeper.  Just...could somebody please pass down a ladder.   Please...Somebody...Any-one?  

[teh DRUMPf!!]

Gonna divert away from my story to do a DA one-shot...

 

 

... smut.  

[Seracen]

During the first mission on Eden Prime the squad all carry Hahne-Kedar weapons - so depending on your position on the time-line that would fit.  If you tale's set after the Great Galactic Small-Arms Jump Backwards, sorry geth based thermal clip adaptation   - then things could be slightly less clear-cut depending how 'gun-nerd' you're wanting to go.  

 

@ftkerns:  Going to play Devil's Advocate here (sorry) but is the reviewer who stated '...honestly hope you don't post anymore' referring to the 'tidal wave of sexual innuendos' only - or to your work in general?  If it's the former...well...he's entitled   to his opinion (even if he may be suffering from That's what she said syndrome) and fair-do's; it's a suggestion for improving - have less innuendo.  If it's the latter - well he's right out of order.  

Perhaps what the chappy's writing is not really what he wants to say?  Heaven knows I do that often enough!  [Take's off advocate's hat]  Phew, anyway hope that helps somewhat.  If not just follow the advice from everyone else here and try to ignore it (the negative review I mean - not the advice) as best you can!  

 

I'm going to stop now before this hole I'm digging myself in gets any deeper.  Just...could somebody please pass down a ladder.   Please...Somebody...Any-one?   

 

Well, for me, I only really had one true case of "hatemail" in regards to the story, but it was an Aeris fan pissed off that I chose Tifa...

 

As for another "negative review," it ended up being one of those "middling" reviews I spoke of earlier, yet it managed to point out a valid flaw in my story at the time.  It then informed my style, and I learned many lessons from the fiasco of that story (which was still worthwhile, even if it was a bit of a mess).

 

Still, I learned from the criticism.  Straight up bashing, however, deserves nothing more than contempt.

[ftkerns]

@ftkerns - your aliens talk like humans. Guess what? You're human. If you made them talk like aliens they'd be very difficult to understand. People would put your story down. I really wouldn't go so far as to do that. I read a story once where a character was an alien and tried to explain their feelings in terms that humans would understand. It got so drawn out in information dumps that I got bored with it. Keep it simple. Who is your target audience? You are going to get negative reviews. You are going to get positive reviews. If people sign their positive reviews value them. If people sign their negative reviews put some value on them. If they're anonymous with their negative reviews and they're not constructive, I'd just let them go rant. I have my account set up so I can moderate reviews of my stuff on FF.net. So if a review is just a troll, and I know a troll when I see it, I hope I can delete it - and I will. 

 

It's making me wonder how my story with all OCs and one canon character is going to be received. The canon character is Jack. I'm not worried about outshining her biotic squad. Jack gets her bad ass moment.

 

Yes, I've gotten negative reviews before and generally they never bothered me. Just something about this one got under my skin, somehow. I've had constructive criticism as well, and that has been extremely useful. There was even one on a chapter of one of my novels a few years ago that, while the guy commenting was rude and sarcastic, he did make some valid points, and I rewrote the chapter accordingly. I admit that one bugged me a little bit, though I managed to find some useful stuff in it. Even when making good points, there's no need to be rude about it. Some people just seem to think that they're posting reviews to "score points" or something.

 

About the other comment, about the aliens acting human. The thing that lodged in my mind was the idea that maybe sometimes they act a little too human. It's just a little nugget of information that I try to keep in mind, and every once in a while bring up something about their culture or biology that humans might find a bit odd. But I'm definitely not planning to have any alien characters start spewing weird alien words...well, not unless I intended to have other characters poke fun at it. Sort of like...

 

Random alien: "Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong."

 

Dakka: "What the **** did he just say? *cracks knuckles* Did he call me a ninny?"

 

Quint: "I caught something about a bong. Maybe he wants us to get high with him?"

 

 

There was one chapter in which I brought up translators, when Chula mentioned an antique levitating TARDIS she has on her desk. Dakka's confused reply was something like, "I think my translator garbled that. You have a retard on your desk?  "

 

As for how a story with mostly OCs and one canon character will be received...I haven't actually read any Mass Effect fanfiction yet, so I can only speak from my experience with my own work, but my story has almost all OCs (and the canon characters so far have been minor ones like Lia'Vael and Sidonis), and it seems to have been received pretty well. So there does seem to be an audience for it.

 

Agree with much of the sentiment here.  The only deference I make to cultural difference occur is in short vignettes or jokes.  In this case, I consider the ME Universe to have a convergent evolution of culture, or the homogenization of intergalactic culture.  Furthermore, translators would also smooth over a lot of nuances in language, etc.

 

For example, a lot of sentiments in Asari Justicars have corellations to knights and samurai, while Batarians and Krogan conform to portions of Roman/Viking mentality.

 

As for reviews, I pay no mind to negative reviews.  However, there were a few critical reviews that provided good constructive advice.  Positive reviews are always a good morale boost.  Oddly enough, it's the middling reviews that tend to provide the most insight for me.

 

 

 

That's a good point. With so many species interacting for decades or centuries, it makes sense that they'd all pick up each other's body language and speech mannerisms. Like those moments in ME2 when Sparatus and Grunt made air quotes with their fingers. A while back I had this idea that the language of various species became a bit more profane after they encountered humanity. Just had this image in my head of Aethyta commenting, "Before we met humans, asari vocabulary didn't include words like, 'chuckle****.'" 

 

@ftkerns:  Going to play Devil's Advocate here (sorry) but is the reviewer who stated '...honestly hope you don't post anymore' referring to the 'tidal wave of sexual innuendos' only - or to your work in general?  If it's the former...well...he's entitled  to his opinion (even if he may be suffering from That's what she said syndrome) and fair-do's; it's a suggestion for improving - have less innuendo.  If it's the latter - well he's right out of order.  

 

 

I'm pretty sure he meant don't post any more of the story, period. If it's just the specific thing about sexual innuendos, well,there is no "tidal wave of sexual innuendos" in the story, so at best, it's an exaggeration. Characters sometimes joke around with each other, and the ones who are in relationships will naturally aim those sorts of comments at each other every now and then. But it's nowhere near a "tidal wave."

 

 

 

Well, for me, I only really had one true case of "hatemail" in regards to the story, but it was an Aeris fan pissed off that I chose Tifa...

 

As for another "negative review," it ended up being one of those "middling" reviews I spoke of earlier, yet it managed to point out a valid flaw in my story at the time.  It then informed my style, and I learned many lessons from the fiasco of that story (which was still worthwhile, even if it was a bit of a mess).

 

Still, I learned from the criticism.  Straight up bashing, however, deserves nothing more than contempt.

 

 

Wow, at least I can say I've never been on the receiving end of anything like that. Though it makes me wonder what might happen if, once my OCs meet Shepard, I let slip any details about who his LI is. If it's the "wrong" one...I just might have to keep my finger on the delete button. 

 

Negative reviews can absolutely help improve a story. I've had that happen a few times. As mentioned above, it does bug me when I have to take the advice of someone who went out of his way to be rude and snarky, but as long as it makes the story better, I can live with it. It's the ones who have nothing useful to say, and who want only to take a textual crap on your work, who make me wish my keyboard had a CRTL-F-U shortcut.... 

 

Speaking of my OCs meeting Shepard, it's about to finally happen. I'm a little unsure about whether I've got his and other characters' "voices" right. Joker and EDI, I think I have down pretty well. Mordin's going to be a challenge, though, I think. Here's a bit from the upcoming chapter. I'm hoping I get his speech mannerisms right. If there's anything "off" about it, hopefully someone here will correct it before I post the chapter....

 

 

They entered a large work space. At the far end of the room, an old salarian puttered around a bench holding a variety of instruments and monitors.

 

"This is Professor Mordin Solus," Shepard said.

 

Mordin looked up from his work and smiled. "Pleased to meet you." He glanced at each of them, cocked his head, and blinked several times. "Hmm. Intriguing group. Asari, human, salarian, quarian, turian, batarian, even geth. Surprising to see together without hearing gunfire." He tilted his head to the other side. "Geth wearing clothing. Most unusual."

 

Wonder what he'd think if Yutani were still wearing that female-Santa costume. Chula had suggested the two platforms either change into something discrete or wear nothing at all. Weyland had put on a pair of cargo pants and his thigh-length black coat, and Yutani had slipped back into her dark cloak, but left the hood down.

 

"Geth platform deviating from standard configuration," Mordin continued. "Feminine shape? Very strange."

 

Chula laughed softly. "I figure it's either one of their social experiments, or just a way to make it easier for us to tell which unit we're talking to."

 

"Ah. Makes sense. Geth platform aboard Normandy informed us of other geth social experiments. Results often amusing." He crossed one arm over his chest and raised his other hand to stroke his chin. "Quarian wearing clothing over protective suit. Curious."

 

"Nice outfit, by the way," Tali said, her glowing eyes flicking up and down, taking in Chula's boots, black duster, and outback hat.

 

"Thanks."

 

"Never would've occurred to me to put on anything other than the cloth parts I've already added to my suit."

 

"I saw these in a store one day and loved the way they looked. The boots were built for humans, but I was able to have them altered to fit quarian legs."

 

"Hmm. I'll have to give something like that a try. A little more protection on the feet can't hurt. And all those extra pockets must come in handy."

 

"They do, yeah."

 

Shepard grinned and opened a door on the right-hand side of the room. "The briefing room is through here and to the left."

 

They filed through the door after him. As Quint and Dakka passed Mordin, he cocked his head again.

 

"Unexpected. Krogan female not kept on Tuchanka."

 

"Eh, I left Tuchanka behind a long time ago. And I'm not going back." Dakka shrugged. "Long story."

 

"But likely fascinating." Mordin sniffed. "Notice human scent on krogan, and krogan scent on human. Indicates...intimacy. Somewhat...startling."

 

Dakka raised a brow ridge and Mordin held his hands up.

 

"No offense intended. Have never heard of such a pairing before. Surprised human partner isn't crippled or dead." Mordin grinned. "Would like to conduct some tests."

 

"I'm sure that's fascinating, Mordin, but it can wait." Shepard chuckled and pointed at the door to his left. "We've got some urgent matters to discuss."

 

"Of course. Apologies. Sometimes let scientific curiosity run amok. Will restrain myself."

 

 

Heheh. Well, like I said, I'm hoping I got it right....

 

And before this post goes on for several more pages, it's time to wrap things up. 

[BronzTrooper]

Oh no!  Another huge ftkerns post!  

 

lol, I'm just kidding.  

 

Anyway...  I finally finished chapter 18 for TLFW and I'm pretty close to putting it up (going to do so in the next 5-10 minutes).  Took long enough, but at least it didn't drag into next week.  

[BronzTrooper]

I just realized that TLFW is now over 50,000 words long!  Yay!!       

[TheSagaris]

Thank you for the confirmation!

[hot_heart]

 

Speaking of my OCs meeting Shepard, it's about to finally happen. I'm a little unsure about whether I've got his and other characters' "voices" right. Joker and EDI, I think I have down pretty well. Mordin's going to be a challenge, though, I think. Here's a bit from the upcoming chapter. I'm hoping I get his speech mannerisms right. If there's anything "off" about it, hopefully someone here will correct it before I post the chapter....

 

I can't claim to be an expert on Mordin (if only!) and my memory of his mannerisms may not be perfect, but I'll share a few of my own observations and some redrafted dialogue. Just my own take on things; it might not suit your story, or simply feel free to disagree with my interpretation.

 

In the opening, Mordin actually stops what he's doing, even if momentarily. Whether or not it's because he's more familiar with Shepard at this point than compared to, say, his introduction in ME2, to me it feels slightly uncharacteristic.

 

I envisage him clocking them all pretty quickly, too; offering little more than a cursory glance. The first greeting could simply be "Pleasure" or "Pleased to meet you" without looking up. Then I'd perhaps rephrase the rest more like:

"Hmm. Asari, human, salarian, quarian, turian, batarian, even geth. Intriguing group. Surprised to see together without hearing gunfire."

or

"Hmm. Asari, human, salarian, quarian, turian, batarian, even geth. Intriguing group. No gunfire. Most surprising."

 

 

(I believe you are using the wrong discreet/discrete in the section after that. Common mistake.)

 

 

"Geth platform deviating from standard configuration," Mordin continued. "Feminine shape? Very strange."

I can't see an issue with the phrasing, though I do wonder what sort of feminine shape Mordin is thinking of and how it's obvious (considering geth were designed by quarians originally, where it might be less apparent). Would he perhaps mention it mimics anything? I must admit I've not read your story so I'm not familiar with all the details.

 

"Ah. Makes sense. Geth platform aboard Normandy informed us of other geth social experiments. Results often amusing." He crossed one arm over his chest and raised his other hand to stroke his chin. "Quarian wearing clothing over protective suit. Curious."

His response feels too 'natural' in how it follows on from the previous line. I know that's a weird comment to make, since it actually sounds like a proper conversation, but I've always found it helps sell Mordin's 'otherness' if his dialogue doesn't flow so well or match up so neatly, especially in relation to others. Perhaps something more like:

"Ah. Recall mention by geth when aboard Normandy. Results often amusing. Would like to have heard more." then

"Quarian with non-standard clothing. Curious. Perhaps other social experiment?"

 

"Unexpected. Krogan female not kept on Tuchanka."

Works but might be simpler to say "Unexpected. Krogan female outside Tuchanka."

 

"But likely fascinating." Mordin sniffed. "Notice human scent on krogan, and krogan scent on human. Indicates...intimacy. Somewhat...startling."

Again, not sure of the details (and not sure I want to be ) but my only suggestion is that Mordin goes slightly overboard with analysis, along the lines of:

"Notice human scent on krogan, and krogan scent on human. Not blood. Perspiration? Saliva? Indicates...intimacy. Somewhat startling."

 

"No offense intended. Have never heard of such a pairing before. Surprised human partner isn't crippled or dead." Mordin grinned. "Would like to conduct some tests."

"Offence unintentional. Merely curious. Have never heard of krogan-human pairing before. Never contemplated logistics. Human physiology not as...robust as krogan's. Problematic. Would like to conduct tests."

 

That's it, really. Not sure if it's what you were after, but I hope it helps at least some small way.

[ftkerns]

Oh no!  Another huge ftkerns post!  

 

lol, I'm just kidding.  

 

 

 I'll see if I can avoid my usual bloviation. 

 

I just realized that TLFW is now over 50,000 words long!  Yay!!       

 

Nice!  It's always great to pass those sorts of milestones. 

 

{Mordin dialogue suggestions}

That's it, really. Not sure if it's what you were after, but I hope it helps at least some small way.

 

It does! Those were perfect.

 

This is set after the end of ME2 but before Shadow Broker and The Arrival, so Mordin's a bit more familiar with Shepard...but it still doesn't really fit him to stop what he's doing and look around. He'd probably be more absorbed in his work, so I'll rewrite it with your suggestions in mind. Like you said, Mordin should be able to size them all up with a glance, without pausing in his work. Then he'd comment on them while staying focused on whatever he's working on.

 

Another good suggestion for his comments on the geth platform. Basically, the chest plate and a slightly curvier body are the only major differences from the typical get unit. So I should change that line to have Mordin say something about it kind of mimicking the female quarian form.

 

Anyway, all of your suggestions were great. When I wrote the first draft, I thought Mordin's lines sounded right, but after seeing your ideas here, I realized I was way off. Your suggestions sound more like things Mordin would actually say. So this helps a lot. Thanks! 

 

Heh. The thing with Quint and Dakka is something of a running gag, by the way. The poor guy is going to have to get used to people wondering how he's still able to walk, among other things. And sooner or later, he'll have to introduce her to his parents. That should be a hoot.

 

Sometimes, I'm too easily amused. Or maybe it's just because I'm half asleep right now.   Probably better post this while my brain is still kinda-sorta functioning.... 

[Ignis Mors]

I have returned! Sorry for not being on more. Just have't been feeling it. Well, I just finished the 81st chapter of Meus Mundus. And, I know I'm going to get at least some flak for it. 

Anyways, let me explain why. When I was writing the early bits of it(nearly two years ago. Never thought it would last this long.) I did some pretty heavy Liara bashing. I had her send fake information to Thane through Feron. Make him think that Miranda was heavily involved in the death of his wife. So, Miranda gets pretty messed up. And Shep starts trying to kill Liara. 

Anyways, I'm just finishing up the Lair of the Shadow Broker mini-arc I've been doing. And, after Shepard kills the Shadow Broker who killed the yagh, who overthrew Liara as the Shadow Broker(but she managed to get away... somehow.) she has Miranda fire one shot into each of Liara's knees. Shepard gets some info that she needed, and then Miranda puts two in the back of her skull. (Oh, and I had Tazzik, who was a salarian character from the comics apparently, be the Broker Shepard killed. I just checked the wiki for characters who weren't really all that involved in stuff, and chose one.)

Anyways, I know I'm going to get flak for that. And I don't really care. If I could go back, I'd change things so Liara didn't do that. But, it was a pretty big thing back in the day. I can't undo that, so I went with what made sense in story. I don't really mind any flak I get over it. 

But, what has me thinking I'm going to be getting more flak is that... well I have it so that Shepard has all the backstories. Meaning, her family(except her mom, because of Spacer and such.) are dead. Killed by batarians on Mindoir. Anyways, I just revealed that I had a pretty important OC(A guy from before the time the Reapers were around.) has Lazarus'd back her father and her two dead sisters. And, I'm thinking that people are going to be irked that I decided to do that. 

And, I'm not sure how to react if what I think is going to happen happens. Part of me wants to say, "Hey, it's my story. I like things being happy. And I love the interaction/general storytelling possibilities open up." But another part of me thinks I should say, "I know that it may seem lame to bring back the people who died in Shepard's past, since it was a big formative moment for her. But, I wanted to find a way to work these characters into the story in a larger role since the Butcher arc. I felt that, especially after how traumatized she was by seeing their memories and such it would be really cool to be able to show her reaction to learning they've been brought back to life." 

So, yeah. I'm just rambling. But what I was going to ask is, do you guys think it's silly of me to have brought back Shepard's dead family? Because, the cynical part of me is saying that. While the non-cynical part of me is saying, "Oh come on. You started writing this to give Shepard a happy ending. Go whole hog on it!" 

[Seracen]

 I'll see if I can avoid my usual bloviation. 

 

[snip]

Heh. The thing with Quint and Dakka is something of a running gag, by the way. The poor guy is going to have to get used to people wondering how he's still able to walk, among other things. And sooner or later, he'll have to introduce her to his parents. That should be a hoot.

 

Sometimes, I'm too easily amused. Or maybe it's just because I'm half asleep right now.   Probably better post this while my brain is still kinda-sorta functioning.... 

 

Always amused to hear your rants.  It makes me feel better about my own occasional tome-sized posts!    At any rate, there can be a lot of fun in playing with mannerisms and such.  Even Bioware toyed with the whole "translator glitch" thing with Thane's term "Siha."

 

As for my own little tidbits, I amused myself by putting in a few colloquialisms, such as "Mexican standoff," then having Shep explain it to a bunch of Batarians.  I also had Zaeed knock a code against a door (Shave and a Haircut), which completely befuddled Garrus, who'd never heard the song, and was unfamiliar with the joke.

 

I feel that things like that add character and heart to a story, when used appropriately.  As for hate for the particular couplings...there's no shorting of bile when discussing such things in the forums.  However, I can't help but feel like all the sheer choices in the ME series mitigates the hate somewhat.

 

After all, it's hard to be angry when fully 70% of the fanbase disagrees with you, no matter what choices you made.  "Disagrees" is too strong a word, but still, no two people made EVERY choice the exact same.  I admittedly rag on the Virmire Survivor, but that doesn't mean I will automatically hate a story in which they are the LI (indeed, my next ME story will have the VS as an LI).

 

I have returned! Sorry for not being on more. Just have't been feeling it. Well, I just finished the 81st chapter of Meus Mundus. And, I know I'm going to get at least some flak for it. 

Anyways, let me explain why. When I was writing the early bits of it(nearly two years ago. Never thought it would last this long.) I did some pretty heavy Liara bashing.

[SNIP]

 

Anyways, I know I'm going to get flak for that. And I don't really care. If I could go back, I'd change things so Liara didn't do that. But, it was a pretty big thing back in the day. I can't undo that, so I went with what made sense in story. I don't really mind any flak I get over it. 

 

WB!  As for your post, I feel that you have a right to write whatever story you damn well please.  One of my favorite stories, back in the day, stopped being posted because of fan feedback.  The author created a particular coupling that many "Squall/Rinoa" fans didn't like.  Unfortunately, it shook the author, and she deleted her account, AND ALL HER STORIES, as a result.  They were really good stories too!

 

I have no tolerance for that sort of bullying.  Short of when they write utter filth, or do things for pure shock value, I don't deride others' work.  Even in those few cases, the criticism must come from a place of tolerance and respect.  Heck, I once beta-read a story that was so terrible with grammatical errors, it gave me a headache.  Even so, I made my suggestions politely, and moved on.

 

Speaking from personal experience, I also cannot bring myself to hate OC's that are heavily based off an author's own psyche, so long as the character is created realistically.  This discussion goes back to the very first page, and I will quote myself here...

 

 

I think SI's are a step to a much larger form of writing. It's what many author's do to wrap their heads around the writing process. On occasion, it can be done well, as long as the character holds true to a certain sense of ideals and progresses through arcs like normal characters.

However, a true master can hide SI quite handily, especially if the entire thing is original. [snip]

Still, shameless author insertion becomes puke worthy, like the obvious blank slate that Bella Swan is, so that any reader can insert themselves into her character.

 

 

The distinction was that, even as a learning device, there was a difference between a "heavily influenced" character and straight up "Seracen has now entered the story."

 

Still, there's levels, and each author approaches the story in their own manner.  So go with whatever makes you happy, I say.  The people who enjoy your writing will continue to do so (and should leave reviews, that is certainly the responsibility of a good fan, I figure 1 in 10 for reviews is decent).  The haters can either respectfully critique, or go straight to hell!

 

[rant over]

 

PS: just uploaded to chapter 40!  Yay!!!    Only 20 more to go...[collapses on floor] 

[hot_heart]

*email notification pops up on phone*

"Ooh, maybe it's a new review or something"

*checks inbox, sees 10 new emails*

"Not again..."