9962 réponses à ce sujet

[fainmaca]

Okay. After some thought and deliberation, I've finally decided to try and get this idea of mine in motion. Time to find out if it works or not.

First off, HEAVY SPOILERS for Into The Unknown. You have been warned.

As some of you may or may not know, I've been busily creating a new, separate continuity to tell my version of the Reaper War for just under a year and a half now, writing my own version of events in order to show how to avoid certain traps that I felt Bioware might (and sadly did) fall for, and to get the ideas bouncing around in my skull out and on the page. Currently I'm sitting above the rough halfway mark, with the return of the main Reaper armada a looming threat while a very real and very present Reaper force of over a hundred Reapers, Harbinger among them, occupy the Sol system, striving to turn our rare Sun into a new Citadel capable of bringing back the rest of their force.

One thing i wanted to achieve with this fanfic was to get people involved in it as much as possible. I can do that with the main fic through presenting the 'in-game' choices as votes they can contribute to. However, I have hoped for some time now to expand this outside involvement with additional material, such as artwork, audio recordings, and eventually, additional fiction, once the main plot and all characters have been dealt with.

I'd like to give the additional fiction angle a go with a small trial, to see if it works. So I feel the bast way to do this is to pick a moment which can be expanded upon without needing to worry about what i might have planned for later on in the main plot (I.E. No need to fret about the death of an NPC that has a larger destiny further down the line). The Battle of the Draktarra Plains gives me a perfect opportunity for this, as it ties up plenty of plot threads without leaving any I'll need later on.

What I'd like to do is get the involvement of fanfiction authors like yourselves to help expand on the events told in Chapter 39 of my fic, specifically the final battle for Tuchanka, by accumulating a series of fics dealing with characters outside of the squad Shepard used for the mission (Shepard, Grunt, Mordin, Thane, Delexia and Wrex).

So consider this a formal invitation to come play around a bit in the sandbox I've been creating for the past 18 months. You can try a one-shot about just one of the members of the squad who Shepard didn't take with him, a little something about what Joker was doing above the battlefield, maybe build on one of the many Krogan NPCs we meet through the first two games or I've introduced in the main fic. Maybe you'd even like to try a few chapters about a Krogan squad completely unconnected to Shepard and his team. As long as the plot of the battle isn't changed from 'canon' (as much as it can be called that when the whole continuity is AU anyway), you can go wild.

Would any of you be interested in this? At the moment, its purely an experiment, but later on once more of the main plot is wrapped up I would be interested to see if people would like to write DLC missions, deal with any NPCs I might have missed, even perhaps scenes on the Normandy that they'd have liked to see written, but I never thought of (obviously that might have to wait till I really finish the fic in case I have them planned for closer to the end of the story). Heck, maybe some of you would even like to try writing the alternate paths to the story (be it based on choices in the fic, or in the previous games).

if you want any further info, don't be shy! i'd be all to happy to answer.

[fainmaca]

Drussius wrote...

Very minor issue. Will it be at all out of place to use the phrase "the two girls looked up..." or something like that when speaking about two Asari? I know all Asari are female (semantics of the intricacies of mono-gendered races aside), but I don't want to break some sort of unwritten immersion rule by referring to them as "girls" or "women" instead of as "Asari" all the time. Just for the sake of varying the terminology in my writing a bit...

I think this depends on a few things. I assume you're writing in the 3rd person perspective. To put it in the context of a 3rd person game, whose shoulder are we looking over to experience the story? Do we seem to be following a Human character around as they experience the action in this scene, or another species? Whose thoughts do we hear the most of as the scene progresses?

Once you establish that, think about what that character would call Asari. I.E. If it were someone like Ashley in ME1, then you'd likely hear her refer to them as aliens or Asari, and that should bleed over into your descriptions. If the character views them as girls and women, then use those words in your description.

When i write a scene, i always pay attention to who is being used to channel the experience to the reader, and I use their personality to shape the description. So when I write from Grunt's perspective, I may refer to small individuals as scrawny runts, Humans become aliens just like Asari, Turians and Salarians, and Shepard goes from being referred to as The Commander to being referred to as the Battlemaster. Legion's perspective, surroundings lose their glamour in favour of precision. Instead of observing how ornate a room is, they regard it as a ten-by-ten room most likely used for recreational purposes.

I hope that helps.

[Drussius]

fainmaca wrote...

Drussius wrote...

Very minor issue. Will it be at all out of place to use the phrase "the two girls looked up..." or something like that when speaking about two Asari? I know all Asari are female (semantics of the intricacies of mono-gendered races aside), but I don't want to break some sort of unwritten immersion rule by referring to them as "girls" or "women" instead of as "Asari" all the time. Just for the sake of varying the terminology in my writing a bit...

I think this depends on a few things. I assume you're writing in the 3rd person perspective. To put it in the context of a 3rd person game, whose shoulder are we looking over to experience the story? Do we seem to be following a Human character around as they experience the action in this scene, or another species? Whose thoughts do we hear the most of as the scene progresses?

This is why I was wondering. The scene in question is from the perspective of an Asari. Asari seem to use generally female terms. "Mother, daughter, matriarch, etc." I was just reading back through a passage in which it was one line of a conversation after another "she addressed the two younger Asari..." "the two Asari looked up from their game..." "she encouraged the younger Asari to speak up..." etc. I just wanted to change things up a bit and thought I might use the term "girl" or "woman" here or there. And then wondered if I should leave it as it was.

A typical case of me second-guessing myself during editing...

Edit: I do, however, think it reads a little better with other terms mixed in. Just don't want to break immersion in the scene (if my writing is really even good enough to get "immersed" in), for more serious readers.

Modifié par Drussius, 19 juin 2012 - 11:30 .

[fainmaca]

You'll be fine either way you go. Bioware ain't fooling anyone with the whole 'mono-gendered' shtick, but nobody would complain if you just labelled them with their species either.

Modifié par fainmaca, 19 juin 2012 - 11:34 .

[Drussius]

Thank you for the insight. I haven't gotten started on your fic yet, but I look forward to seeing it. Sounds like we have some similar ideas on writing from different perspectives (I like to use terms that vary depending on the character whose perspective I use on a scene, like you mentioned. I think I would have a blast describing a scene from Legion's perspective, or from my Brogan, Wrex's!)

[noxiuniversitas1]

Drussius wrote...

Not to derail the music discussion, but I'd like to hear some opinions on pacing and original characters. Some people might have seen that for my first fanfiction, I plan to focus on original content because it's more in my comfort zone, and I'm including one of the ME2 squadmates in the story to sort of ease myself into trying to represent well-established figures.

So, with original characters being much of the focus of the story, I'm starting a bit slowly so that I have a chance to introduce them, let the readers learn a bit about them, and so forth. However, as I reread my first chapter to clean up errors and make changes where I feel necessary, I find myself wondering if the fact that the early scenes of the story have NOTHING to do with what will eventually be the major issue at hand is going to become a distraction for readers.

I realize it's difficult to make judgments without having read the story, but I'd like to hear thoughts. Using the first chapter or two to introduce characters without having the content of those chapters link to later conflicts... non-issue because the characters need to be established in the reader's mind? Or would a rewrite to tie into later events better serve the story?

Edit: I shouldn't say they literally have NOTHING to do with later events. I am maneuvering various characters together little by little and working toward how they end up in the same place, but you know... event A in chapter one does not lead to why events B and C happen later...

Hey, ho. With OCs, especially if the story revolves around them, I think you definitely want to ease them in. Your readers need to care about them and empathize with them, so the backstory is definitely important, even if it does not enhance the main plot. Showing the readers early helps them relate with the characters early, aiding immersion / involvement in the story. If a reader has no reason to care for the characters of a plot, they will have little reason to continue reading.

[noxiuniversitas1]

Drussius wrote...

Very minor issue. Will it be at all out of place to use the phrase "the two girls looked up..." or something like that when speaking about two Asari? I know all Asari are female (semantics of the intricacies of mono-gendered races aside), but I don't want to break some sort of unwritten immersion rule by referring to them as "girls" or "women" instead of as "Asari" all the time. Just for the sake of varying the terminology in my writing a bit...

I don't think you have to worry about referring to them as "girls" or "women"; I've seen a few people do it, and I definitely have done so as well. :happy:

Modifié par noxiuniversitas1, 19 juin 2012 - 11:52 .

[Drussius]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

Hey, ho. With OCs, especially if the story revolves around them, I think you definitely want to ease them in. Your readers need to care about them and empathize with them, so the backstory is definitely important, even if it does not enhance the main plot. Showing the readers early helps them relate with the characters early, aiding immersion / involvement in the story. If a reader has no reason to care for the characters of a plot, they will have little reason to continue reading.

Thank you for your thoughts on the matter. And I agree, people need to care about the characters, and that needs some time to nurture. Hopefully I manage. But I think I did a disservice to the point of my question with the way I phrased it. I was never suggesting that I felt the information about the thoughts and motivations of my characters was what the problem was. I know that needs to be there. It was more about the scenes not tying in to the overall plot, and me wondering if I should rewrite things a bit so that the activities in early scenes relate to what happens later, rather than the early scenes being unconnected to the later plot except in the most superficial sense...

For an example that has nothing to do with my ACTUAL story:

If the first scenes introduce the characters while they are rebuilding a colony somewhere remote, but the main plot of the story will revolve around events on the citadel, will the early colony scenes seem out of place in the overall story because their only connection is the characters that are involved? Would the story be better served if the efforts of the characters were rewritten so that instead of the colony, they were repairing a vessel that would later be involved in the citadel events?

I think the story is okay as it is (so far). As I said in previous posts, the events are moving the characters toward where I want them to go, and the early characterization is more important in some ways than the setting. I was just considering if I should rewrite those early locations and events so that they were tied a little more directly to later plot events.

[noxiuniversitas1]

Drussius wrote...

If the first scenes introduce the characters while they are rebuilding a colony somewhere remote, but the main plot of the story will revolve around events on the citadel, will the early colony scenes seem out of place in the overall story because their only connection is the characters that are involved? Would the story be better served if the efforts of the characters were rewritten so that instead of the colony, they were repairing a vessel that would later be involved in the citadel events?

I think the story is okay as it is (so far). As I said in previous posts, the events are moving the characters toward where I want them to go, and the early characterization is more important in some ways than the setting. I was just considering if I should rewrite those early locations and events so that they were tied a little more directly to later plot events.

Personally, I find it a *little* distracting if *everything* is linked. A bit like how you ran into former squadmates at every turn in ME3 - the galaxy's pretty big, and people have lives before the main event. It's nice to explore those lives / those events, even if they aren't linked to the main plot. As a reader, I wouldn't think it jarring, out of place or doing the story a disservice if the first few chapters weren't obviously interwoven with the main plot.

But... that's just me

[Drussius]

Did you just write a second fanfic? I don't remember seeing a story about Shepard's death in your sig before.

[noxiuniversitas1]

Yep, it came to me out of the blue... it's short, just 600 words

[Drussius]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

Yep, it came to me out of the blue... it's short, just 600 words

Out of the blue? Is that some sort of Asari-based pun?

[noxiuniversitas1]

Ahhh, puns... the “lowest and most groveling kind of wit"... would I ever?

[dpMeggers]

noxiuniversitas1 wrote...

Drussius wrote...

If the first scenes introduce the characters while they are rebuilding a colony somewhere remote, but the main plot of the story will revolve around events on the citadel, will the early colony scenes seem out of place in the overall story because their only connection is the characters that are involved? Would the story be better served if the efforts of the characters were rewritten so that instead of the colony, they were repairing a vessel that would later be involved in the citadel events?

I think the story is okay as it is (so far). As I said in previous posts, the events are moving the characters toward where I want them to go, and the early characterization is more important in some ways than the setting. I was just considering if I should rewrite those early locations and events so that they were tied a little more directly to later plot events.

Personally, I find it a *little* distracting if *everything* is linked. A bit like how you ran into former squadmates at every turn in ME3 - the galaxy's pretty big, and people have lives before the main event. It's nice to explore those lives / those events, even if they aren't linked to the main plot. As a reader, I wouldn't think it jarring, out of place or doing the story a disservice if the first few chapters weren't obviously interwoven with the main plot.

But... that's just me

I'm with nox on this one. As a gameplay mechanic driving the "Your choices matter!" thing, people you know turning up all over the place is fine. (See Shiala/Parasini/Rachni Messenger on Illium) In real life, that's unlikely. There's a fine line between chance and 'destiny' or what have you. 

Just my 2 cents.

Edit: Good Lord the puns. 

Modifié par dpMeggers, 20 juin 2012 - 12:22 .

[fainmaca]

Well, I'm going offline just now. It may only be 1:30 at night, but the sun is already rising again here. If any of you are interested in that writing opportunity I posted about at the top of the page, please let me know! I'd really like to see this take off!

[Icyflare]

@fainmaca: When do you need this by?

[lillitheris]

Drussius wrote...

fainmaca wrote...

Drussius wrote...

Very minor issue. Will it be at all out of place to use the phrase "the two girls looked up..." or something like that when speaking about two Asari? I know all Asari are female (semantics of the intricacies of mono-gendered races aside), but I don't want to break some sort of unwritten immersion rule by referring to them as "girls" or "women" instead of as "Asari" all the time. Just for the sake of varying the terminology in my writing a bit...

I think this depends on a few things. I assume you're writing in the 3rd person perspective. To put it in the context of a 3rd person game, whose shoulder are we looking over to experience the story? Do we seem to be following a Human character around as they experience the action in this scene, or another species? Whose thoughts do we hear the most of as the scene progresses?

This is why I was wondering. The scene in question is from the perspective of an Asari. Asari seem to use generally female terms. "Mother, daughter, matriarch, etc." I was just reading back through a passage in which it was one line of a conversation after another "she addressed the two younger Asari..." "the two Asari looked up from their game..." "she encouraged the younger Asari to speak up..." etc. I just wanted to change things up a bit and thought I might use the term "girl" or "woman" here or there. And then wondered if I should leave it as it was.

It‘s perfectly fine. In asari languages* the direct translation would probably be more like “the two persons looked up” and so on, but since it reads oddly and they’ve got boobies, all the translators use female terms instead   (Also, ‘parent’, ‘birthing parent’, ‘child’, ‘elder’…)


* I need to come up with a name my third one…I’ve Serran, Astran, and there’s another common language spoken in the southern island regions all the way up to the Purple Sea.

Modifié par lillitheris, 20 juin 2012 - 09:07 .

[fainmaca]

Icyflare wrote...

@fainmaca: When do you need this by?

There is honestly no rush. I am an impatient sono****un who's first instinct is to say 'now!now!now!', but this is something I hope to have happen organically, so just take your time. The whole point is to get people to feel comfortable/interested in delving into this continuity and adding to it with their own ideas, so I don't want to impose time limits.

[fainmaca]

P.S. Are you kidding me? The site censored a compacted 'of a gun'?

[fluffywalrus]

fainmaca wrote...

P.S. Are you kidding me? The site censored a compacted 'of a gun'?

There's a tiny three letter word in there when those words are compacted.
Starts with F. Ends with G.
That's the likely culprit

[lillitheris]

Wish I had a good battle scene to write, BSN is really raising my hackles today.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Q - in Allaince ranks, is major = to captain? Or does a captain hold a more senior position than a major? I know that captains of marines onboard a navy ship is bumped up to major to avoid confusion with captain of the ship.

P.S. So I'm sitting here thinking, thinking..

I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on a lemon-tree


Mind's a little blank nowadays. Can be hard to walk in somebody's shoes.

Modifié par Obsidian Gryphon, 20 juin 2012 - 10:56 .

[lillitheris]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

Q - in Allaince ranks, is major = to captain?

Yep.. Major and General are infantry, Captain and Rear Admiral are fleet.

[fainmaca]

@fluffywalrus: Yeah, i figured as much. Still, it should really be more context sensitive.

lillitheris wrote...

Wish I had a good battle scene to write, BSN is really raising my hackles today.

*Looks at post*
*Looks at invitation above to write scenes about the Battle of the Draktarra Plains*
*Looks at Lillitheris with questioning eyebrow*

[lillitheris]

fainmaca wrote...

@fluffywalrus: Yeah, i figured as much. Still, it should really be more context sensitive.

lillitheris wrote...

Wish I had a good battle scene to write, BSN is really raising my hackles today.

*Looks at post*
*Looks at invitation above to write scenes about the Battle of the Draktarra Plains*
*Looks at Lillitheris with questioning eyebrow*

Maybe… :happy:

I was more thinking of a bar fight, but I just had one and Jack put the guy down pretty fast…