9959 respuestas en este tema

[lillitheris]

jdtungsten wrote...

o Ventus wrote...

What exactly is the difference between "hits" and "visitors"?

Every single other website I go to tends to categorize them as more or less the same thing.

I believe "hits" stands for how many times someone goes into that chapter or story. And "visitors" stands for how many individuals go into that chapter or story. I am not sure if the site recognizes a visitor as a IP address or as a log in account so maybe if you aren't log in and go into multiple times it will show multiple visitors and hits. Hope that is helpful.

Per FFN: the number of unique hits, hits from unique IP addresses (internet users), over a 24 hour period.

So for a given chapter, one IP counts as one Visitor for 24 hours. If you were to go to a chapter for the first time now, you could refresh that page or close it and go back 100 times in that 24-hour period, and still only show one Visitor (but 100 Hits).

By and large, Visitors is the more important number.


(I added a note about Visitors to the actual post too, thanks.)

[fluffywalrus]

alleyd wrote...

I have uploaded my first fan-fiction onto the following link http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8155959

It starts with an alternative ending scenario to ME3 and continues into a story of rebuilding the galaxy. Currently it is early stages and the first chapters are essentially recapping on the cost of the Reaper Defeat. I've covered two races Humanity and The Asari and will admit to deviating from a canon ME experience. I hope the decisions I have made do not offend anyone.

This is my first ever attempt at writing anything creatively, and I would welcome comments or critique where applicable. I'll apologise for any grammatical errors and offer that I am an uneducated person, not fully conversant with the rules of proper grammar.

Nice!
I reviewed your fic (all three uploaded chapters, at least).  It was solid, but the way you set up your dialogue, and that you missed entire words...was a bit jarring at times.
Otherwise, it was a fun enough read. Lots of ground was covered, even if some of it seemed a bit unrealistic in the scope of the series.

Twas a good read though

[fainmaca]

See, I'm learning new things here! I thought the hits number was the important one, as I thought that represented registered users (people logged in on an FF.net account) and visitors were unregistered. It's been almost a year and a half since I started, and I was still tracking the wrong stat!

[MrStoob]

Seeking advice please on 'assumptions'.

Should I assume nothing about the reader when writing a scene, or should I assume that they know the ME universe and its locations? It feels superfluous to me at times to describe the room or whatever they are in, unless it's integral to the story somehow or for some artistic reason. Like if I say "the Ex.O's office", do you think that I then need to describe the room beyond stating that's where the 'players' currently are?

[lillitheris]

MrStoob wrote...

Seeking advice please on 'assumptions'.

Should I assume nothing about the reader when writing a scene, or should I assume that they know the ME universe and its locations? It feels superfluous to me at times to describe the room or whatever they are in, unless it's integral to the story somehow or for some artistic reason. Like if I say "the Ex.O's office", do you think that I then need to describe the room beyond stating that's where the 'players' currently are?

“XO’s office”, but I think it’s a safe bet to assume your reader will know the universe. You could compromise, too, by introducing reaffirming descriptions where they fit. For example something like “Stepping through the doorway, Shepard wryly noted that even Liara’s new neatly arranged wall of monitors and precisely positioned workspace on the opposite side seemed haphazard in comparison to the millimeter-perfect order Miranda had imposed on the suite. The woman would probably have been in tears over the mismatched upholstery in the sleeping alcove in the back.”

(I exaggerate, but hopefully you see the idea.)

[MrStoob]

lillitheris wrote...

MrStoob wrote...

Seeking advice please on 'assumptions'.

Should I assume nothing about the reader when writing a scene, or should I assume that they know the ME universe and its locations? It feels superfluous to me at times to describe the room or whatever they are in, unless it's integral to the story somehow or for some artistic reason. Like if I say "the Ex.O's office", do you think that I then need to describe the room beyond stating that's where the 'players' currently are?

“XO’s office”, but I think it’s a safe bet to assume your reader will know the universe. You could compromise, too, by introducing reaffirming descriptions where they fit. For example something like “Stepping through the doorway, Shepard wryly noted that even Liara’s new neatly arranged wall of monitors and precisely positioned workspace on the opposite side seemed haphazard in comparison to the millimeter-perfect order Miranda had imposed on the suite. The woman would probably have been in tears over the mismatched upholstery in the sleeping alcove in the back.”

(I exaggerate, but hopefully you see the idea.)

Thanks.  Yea, that's pretty much what I mean.  The difference between 'setting the scene' and 'describing the scene'.

Would it not be 'Ex.O's office'?  i.e. abbr of Executive Officer?

Edit: BW and the military spell it XO, but I'd pedantically disagree hahaha.

Editado por MrStoob, 28 mayo 2012 - 12:38 .

[hot_heart]

lillitheris wrote...
“Stepping through the doorway, Shepard wryly noted that even Liara’s new neatly arranged wall of monitors and precisely positioned workspace on the opposite side seemed haphazard in comparison to the millimeter-perfect order Miranda had imposed on the suite. The woman would probably have been in tears over the mismatched upholstery in the sleeping alcove in the back.”

Ha! Good example, and funny to boot.

[fainmaca]

The key is to never make assumptions about your players, but don't patronise them either. Nobody wants to feel stupid for needing an explanation.

I always assume my readers haven't seen the thing I'm talking about before, but I never hammer the description into them. Weave the description into the narrative in such a way that you build the scene/plot/character organically, and nobody really notices.

One thing to do is not give all the details at once. Reveal things progressively. Maybe one time visiting the Hangar Bay you talk about the shuttles, the next you mention the crates, and so on.

In short, make no assumptions, but don't belittle your readers, either. Always have respect for those who are sampling your work, otherwise soon nobody will.

[Severyx]

MrStoob wrote...

Seeking advice please on 'assumptions'.

Should I assume nothing about the reader when writing a scene, or should I assume that they know the ME universe and its locations? It feels superfluous to me at times to describe the room or whatever they are in, unless it's integral to the story somehow or for some artistic reason. Like if I say "the Ex.O's office", do you think that I then need to describe the room beyond stating that's where the 'players' currently are?

It depends on your writing style and audience, really. I'm taking a fairly professional approach to my story, which means I can't assume that everyone knows everything. However I'm fairly certain I have areas where the description is too vague for people 'unfamiliar' with the Mass Effect setting and franchise to just magic up in their heads because I skim over it due to my own intrinsic knowledge, but that sort of thing can only be spotted and fixed with feedback and revision. I figure the people clicking on my story on FF.net know the material (most people usually gravitate towards areas they are familar with), but I want to make it accessible to those that aren't. Heck, there are people at my workplace printing my story (the actual files with REAL formatting) and handing it around because they enjoy it, even those who only have surface knowledge of the setting. That's a boon, in my opinion. At least, I thought it was pretty cool they started doing it.

Things as simple as explaining what an XO's office is shouldn't be much of a burden. Getting readers reaquainted with how FTL technology works can be a bit tougher. Even a half and half approach works pretty well, since the majority of readers will, in fact, be familiar with the universe. If you get feedback that someone isn't sure what X is, or how Y made X do Z, it's probably for the best that you explain it a bit. The only time it hurts the story is when you drag it out too long.

[hot_heart]

I think the start of Karpyshyn's Mass Effect: Revelation (preview available on Amazon) is a good example of fitting in the technical descriptions within the narrative. Gives a character POV on the stuff; Grissom in this case.

[lillitheris]

Decided to experiment on my intro blurb a little to see if it might encourage more people to comment and get them to go with the flow of the story.

How’s this version look?

Welcome!

You can click 'Next' to start reading the story right after this little introduction!

Below the intro there's a glossary of terms and a listing of characters, both organized by chapter. Should you find the need to look something up as you read, you can come back here to use those two resources.

The story starts in the middle of the ME3 finale. Like a good Infiltrator I use as much of the provided cover as I can, sneaking in and fixing the endings with the fewest changes possible. The game's confines are escaped in Chapter 3.

The sections overlapping with the game are told from non-Shepard POVs to let you enjoy alternative perspectives.

All OCs are strictly side characters supporting the story. I'll be sure to let you know if this ever changes. You'll get to know Eevy Shepard as we go along. For now, it'll perhaps suffice to say that she's a paragade tending toward the nice, fairly well-adjusted for what she's gone through, and head over heels for Liara.

Hopefully nobody was expecting everlasting peace when the battle for Earth is won; I've extrapolated events into the near and far future, and will throw them at Eevy and the rest of the ME cast. There will be very few retirements early on, but I plan to see things to a natural end.

Content will be M/MA, sciency, gritty, often funny or teary, and sometimes sexy.

I love any and all feedback and interaction from you guys! Anything you can tell me, be it cheers, jeers, short notes on individual chapters as you go or an in-depth literary critique at the end, or just your impression of a scene or character, questions, clarification requests…please leave reviews, send PMs, talk to me on BSN or Twitter…

Don't hesitate to give critique if you find any cause. Letting me think something's good when it's not is crueler than telling me

For optional reading, there's a short companion text in my profile on the asari who, in my world, are not merely blue human females. Don't worry, I won't contradict lore, just enhance it a bit.

With that, I hope you enjoy reading Unity as much as I enjoy writing it! –-A

[MrStoob]

Severyx wrote...

MrStoob wrote...

Seeking advice please on 'assumptions'.

Should I assume nothing about the reader when writing a scene, or should I assume that they know the ME universe and its locations? It feels superfluous to me at times to describe the room or whatever they are in, unless it's integral to the story somehow or for some artistic reason. Like if I say "the Ex.O's office", do you think that I then need to describe the room beyond stating that's where the 'players' currently are?

It depends on your writing style and audience, really. I'm taking a fairly professional approach to my story, which means I can't assume that everyone knows everything. However I'm fairly certain I have areas where the description is too vague for people 'unfamiliar' with the Mass Effect setting and franchise to just magic up in their heads because I skim over it due to my own intrinsic knowledge, but that sort of thing can only be spotted and fixed with feedback and revision. I figure the people clicking on my story on FF.net know the material (most people usually gravitate towards areas they are familar with), but I want to make it accessible to those that aren't. Heck, there are people at my workplace printing my story (the actual files with REAL formatting) and handing it around because they enjoy it, even those who only have surface knowledge of the setting. That's a boon, in my opinion. At least, I thought it was pretty cool they started doing it.

Things as simple as explaining what an XO's office is shouldn't be much of a burden. Getting readers reaquainted with how FTL technology works can be a bit tougher. Even a half and half approach works pretty well, since the majority of readers will, in fact, be familiar with the universe. If you get feedback that someone isn't sure what X is, or how Y made X do Z, it's probably for the best that you explain it a bit. The only time it hurts the story is when you drag it out too long.

Well, the couple of short stories I'm working on are pretty character/dialogue-centric so I didn't want to get bogged down in the details to detract from emotion/tension.

As of 11:00 PST (19:00 GMT) I can post on FF.  I'll chuck one on and see what happens eh?  lol

Oh, as hinted in my previous post's edit: I apologise in advance for potentially disagreeing with everyone on the usage of English, grammar and punctuation lol.

Editado por MrStoob, 28 mayo 2012 - 01:21 .

[Severyx]

MrStoob wrote...

*Quotesnip*

Well, the couple of short stories I'm working on are pretty character/dialogue-centric so I didn't want to get bogged down in the details to detract from emotion/tension.

As of 11:00 PST (19:00 GMT) I can post on FF.  I'll chuck one on and see what happens eh?  lol

Oh, as hinted in my previous post's edit: I apologise in advance for potentially disagreeing with everyone on the usage of English, grammar and punctuation lol.

It sounds like you're aiming for personal perspective with this particular work (as opposed to narrative-based), so your audience will very likely be already familiar, though you also may not get the chance to explain much in order to preserve flow. It's a tough balancing act, but the audience's expectations/knowledge might already relieve you from having to lay the groundwork down. Sometimes I wish I had that kind of freedom, hah.

As an additional note, acronyms are instantly 50% explained when you use the full words instead. It's a bit of a pain sometimes, but also gives the air that you're not lazy. If the acronym is a commonly spoken one (XO's office, for example), try positioning the full words somewhere before it's spoken version - potentially in a narrative or thought-driven spot - and have the acronym in parenthesis or in a very quick aside diectly after.

Example: The moment I reached deck three, I headed straight for the office of the Executive Officer, or XO as it's commonly called. On the way, Garrus stopped me. "Can't talk right now - I've been called to the XO's office."

As far as I know, this is a pretty well-accepted practice, and it allows you to continue to use the acronym version without conflict throughout the rest of the work.

Editado por Severyx, 28 mayo 2012 - 01:55 .

[hot_heart]

Severyx wrote...
Example: The moment I reached deck three, I headed straight for the office of the Executive Officer, or XO as it's commonly called. On the way, Garrus stopped me. "Can't talk right now - I've been called to the XO's office."

Without a complete rephrase, I would argue that you could drop the bolded part. It's superfluous.

Editado por hot_heart, 28 mayo 2012 - 02:06 .

[Sigyn2011]

That's a very good idea. I've completely forgotten that some people who visit the stories are not always familiar with the ME universe. I'm glad that you posted it.

[Severyx]

hot_heart wrote...

Severyx wrote...
Example: The moment I reached deck three, I headed straight for the office of the Executive Officer, or XO as it's commonly called. On the way, Garrus stopped me. "Can't talk right now - I've been called to the XO's office."

Without a complete rephrase, I would argue that you could drop the bolded part. It's superfluous.

I disagree. That bolded statement establishes that the acronym XO is a shortened version of the words Executive Officer. Again, this is simply to avoid confusion in case there are readers unsure of what the acronym XO stands for. This is a particularly good example, since Executive does NOT start with X, which could cause reader confusion. It could also be replaced with '(XO)', but I chose to go the prose route for the example.

It would be superfluous if the words the acronym stood for had already been established prior in the story. This sort of thing only needs to happen once.

Editado por Severyx, 28 mayo 2012 - 02:20 .

[MrStoob]

In my general sci-fi experience, terms like 'XO' are rarely explained as they are usually established military terms. I think I was more than half way through Battlestar Galactica before I finally realised what 'XO' meant.

But we are writing fictional prose, not films (or TV series', you know what I mean), so... Don't know where I'm going here... lol.

[hot_heart]

Severyx wrote...
I disagree. That bolded statement establishes that the acronym XO is a shortened version of the words Executive Officer. Again, this is simply to avoid confusion in case there are readers unsure of what the acronym XO stands for. This is a particularly good example, since Executive does NOT start with X, which could cause reader confusion. It could also be replaced with '(XO)', but I chose to go the prose route for the example.

It would be superfluous if the words the acronym stood for had already been established prior in the story. This sort of thing only needs to happen once.

I see where you're coming from, but the dialogue that follows sounds perfectly natural and is clear enough to clarify exactly what it means. I'd trust a reader to pick that up.

I've always preferred a more spare style and seeing variations on XO/Executive Officer that many times in a couple of sentences doesn't sit well with me.

Editado por hot_heart, 28 mayo 2012 - 02:32 .

[Severyx]

MrStoob wrote...

In my general sci-fi experience, terms like 'XO' are rarely explained as they are usually established military terms. I think I was more than half way through Battlestar Galactica before I finally realised what 'XO' meant.

But we are writing fictional prose, not films (or TV series', you know what I mean), so... Don't know where I'm going here... lol.

True enough, and reader confusion can easily come from anywhere (I had a reader tell me I shouldn't use the word 'sultry' to describe asari dancers because he read it as '****ty' and felt it was improper). You have to pick and choose these battles. Too much leads to reader boredom, too little leaves the reader with incomplete knowledge or a fractured image in their minds. Hooray for the challenges of being a writer! 

[Severyx]

hot_heart wrote...

Severyx wrote...
I disagree. That bolded statement establishes that the acronym XO is a shortened version of the words Executive Officer. Again, this is simply to avoid confusion in case there are readers unsure of what the acronym XO stands for. This is a particularly good example, since Executive does NOT start with X, which could cause reader confusion. It could also be replaced with '(XO)', but I chose to go the prose route for the example.

It would be superfluous if the words the acronym stood for had already been established prior in the story. This sort of thing only needs to happen once.

I see where you're coming from, but the dialogue that follows sounds perfectly natural and is clear enough to clarify exactly what it means. I'd trust a reader to pick that up.

I've always preferred a more spare style and seeing variations on XO/Executive Officer that many times in a couple of sentences doesn't sit well with me.

Again, this is reliant on a writer's style. I see this tiny appendage to the first sentance as so finite that people will read it very quickly, get the connection, and move on with an understanding of what XO means when it's read in the dialogue. I bet if you read that within the context of an actual story instead of in exclusivity, you'd practically gloss right over it. If such happens and the reader gets it in the dialogue, then where is the harm to the reader?

I very much agree to avoiding similar-word clutter at all costs, but situations like these need extra care to be sure the reader gets the intention. The human mind learns quickly through repitition, though only a couple of instances are needed to get the point across in such a case.

So as I was explaining to MrStoob, it depends on your writing style and audience. This is an active decision a writer has to make at the very beginning of the writing process so that expectations in semantics are held throughout.

Editado por Severyx, 28 mayo 2012 - 02:47 .

[hot_heart]

Like I said, without a complete rephrase that is an idea of what I would do.

My basic point was more in terms of being careful about repeating information. If keeping that explanation of XO, I'd be altering the dialogue instead (or even putting that into prose). I understand that's just an example though, so is very rough in form.

[lillitheris]

hot_heart wrote...

Severyx wrote...
Example: The moment I reached deck three, I headed straight for the office of the Executive Officer, or XO as it's commonly called. On the way, Garrus stopped me. "Can't talk right now - I've been called to the XO's office."

Without a complete rephrase, I would argue that you could drop the bolded part. It's superfluous.

Concur. I could see the construct in a situation where you are playing a Renegade Grammarian: “The moment I reached deck three, I headed straight for the office of the Executive Officer, or ‘XO’ as the slovenly imbecile insists I call him.”

If you’re a part of the commons who call it XO, then there’s no point mentioning it.

An alternative would of course be to have Garrus spell it out – “Hm, why would the Executive Officer want you?” or use a similar third-party introduction.

…

On the topic of assumptions, I do make some… Unity, for example, is probably pretty damn hard to figure out if you’ve not played/seen the ME3 ending

That aside, I really don’t like characters having to do exposition. Most things can be introduced on the sly, just amidst regular scene/action/whatever description. It’s especially good if you can do it piecemeal as someone mentioned above; using the erstwhile XO-suite as an example, first visit could introduce the vid wall, second can mention the lab setup, third can talk about the budoir and so on.

Concepts are a little trickier to work in naturally, as are mechanisms, technologies and so on.

…

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned, I’ve got a separate glossary in Unity. It currently contains entries about: A few basic metric system measures, ID chips, Aurals, HIs, Ions, Rim Missions, Comm networks, Creches, Fleet strength in final battle, Hospital Fleet, QEC, Cherenkov Events Phonetic writing, Datapads; of those, only Rim Missions, the Hospital Fleet, and creches are my original concepts. Some entries like comm networks actually fleshes out future communications which in the games basically went completely underused… Cherenkov I had to kind of fudge into a semi-plausible explanation myself because while the term is actually used in ME, it’s claimed to be lethal – Cherenkov radiation isn‘t. I assume someone got it from the Gojira movies. Datapads make absolutely no sense in the setting given the existence of omnitools and wireless communication capabilities, but they are used, so…

Anyway, these are all items that can’t really be woven into the story directly without the dialogue or narration sounding blatantly like the exposition that it is (plus the entries are actually fairly long).

My solution is to write the text naturally, with for example all soldiers knowing how to use the comms without going through silly explanations. I try to write it out in enough detail that a reader who doesn’t question whether or why a comm network does X can just take it on faith that it works as I describe and be able to follow along, and those who do want to poke deeper can check the glossary for my pseudo-sciency details.

Editado por lillitheris, 28 mayo 2012 - 03:08 .

[MrStoob]

Severyx wrote...

MrStoob wrote...

In my general sci-fi experience, terms like 'XO' are rarely explained as they are usually established military terms. I think I was more than half way through Battlestar Galactica before I finally realised what 'XO' meant.

But we are writing fictional prose, not films (or TV series', you know what I mean), so... Don't know where I'm going here... lol.

True enough, and reader confusion can easily come from anywhere (I had a reader tell me I shouldn't use the word 'sultry' to describe asari dancers because he read it as '****ty' and felt it was improper). You have to pick and choose these battles. Too much leads to reader boredom, too little leaves the reader with incomplete knowledge or a fractured image in their minds. Hooray for the challenges of being a writer! 

God help me then.  I can be a wordy bugger sometimes.  Specific words mean specific things. for e.g.  'decline' and 'refuse' are VERY similar, but the underlying meaning is quite different.

Do you mean the person mis-read the word, or mis-understood its meaning/usage?

Editado por MrStoob, 28 mayo 2012 - 03:13 .

[MrStoob]

lillitheris wrote...
on the sly

British? <_<

Not that it matters, I was just curious.

Editado por MrStoob, 28 mayo 2012 - 03:08 .

[lillitheris]

MrStoob wrote...

God help me then.  I'm can be a wordy bugger sometimes.  Specific words mean specific things. for e.g.  'decline' and 'refuse' are VERY similar, but the underlying meaning is quite different.

The meaning may be different, it depends on the situation. People also have wildly varying concepts of ‘degrees’ of words, all kinds of emotional connections with numerous words, often people have very tight associations with words and so on… can’t really overthink it :happy:

I, for example, have a few words that I associate with a negative emotion because of a ternary connection: there’s a word A that I dislike. Not what A actually is, I mean the word itself. Not sure why, but I do. Then there are words B and C, both of which I associate with A for some reason…they might sound slightly like it but not really, and the words aren’t related in any way. Now, I actually have an instinctive negative association with the actual thing B because the word B is associated with the word A, despite me liking the actual thing A.

Just to be clear, these don’t cause overwhelming fear or anything. They’re barely noticeable hardwired associations (like the much easier-to-explain smell/memory associations).

I’m sure I had a point when I started writing this.