9962 réponses à ce sujet

[dpMeggers]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Oh goddess why?

I have no idea why but I can't get myself writing this damnable chapter. I keep thinking about so many later chapters rather than the one infront of me.

*slaming head into keyboard* Bosh'tet! *slam* Bosh'tet! *slam* Bosh'tet! *slam*

I recommend not smashing your keyboard. It might make typing difficult later. 
(The head injuries might also be problematic)

[mikern]

The words in front of are almost always the hardest. Perhaps it's because what you're looking to put down right now isn't where the action is. Try changing PoV or starting an action in medias res, then kind of catch us up on why you're there. These are tricks I've found works at times like that

[LanceSolous13]

Sadly, the action isn't really starting till around Chapter 4. Yay for Nessicery Exposition! I'll just force it out and see if its gold or feces.

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Drussius wrote...

lillitheris wrote...

Drussius wrote...

Okay, so... I have a question for people who are particularly attentive to lore in their stories. It has become important for me to figure out the general composition of the various alliance fleets for accuracy in my story. I don't need exact figures or anything, because I'm not concentrating too much on the fleet in the scene where I need to mention it, but I've been delving into the codex in all three games and the ME wiki pages, and have come up with the following "facts":

…

Does this strike anyone as being especially out-of-place or lorebreaking for any reason? I did my best to research it with the information at my disposal, but perhaps someone who has read the books and/or comics, none of which I have at present, might have a more specific answer?

It sounds reasonable if you go per codex. It does not sound reasonable at all if you consider the number of people in the military, and the strength of the Reapers. A fleet of a few hundred would have been wiped away in a matter of days.

I’ve got a thread on the subject somewhere, let’s see…

I think you're right about the fleet numbers being too weak against the reapers. But I still think that my figures are about accurate given what we know if you take the majority of game lore as canon. I think that was the whole point of needing to unite the entire galaxy in order to fight them. After all, when the Reapers hit Arcturus Station, they destroyed an entire fleet in a very short time span while the other fleets escaped. I sort of figured that this is why everyone through the entire game (and in other parts of the series if I remember right) kept saying that they "can't beat the reapers conventionally" like it was fact, rather than just opinion.

In the end, the only reason it became important for my story was because I was basing it in a place that I thought the Alliance had no orbital presence. Then someone pointed out to me that one whole fleet was stationed there at the start of the Reaper invasion and quickly retreated after losing some ships rather than be destroyed by Reaper forces. Since events in my story take place in that place at that time, I need to do a minor rewrite on one small section to account for the brief skirmish in space between the Reapers and the Alliance Fleet.

Late. The question is settled I know  but then I'm currently poking around with Alliance fleets. Thing is, the codex only stated over 200 vessels but not the composition but it's a given it had to be ships bigger than a interceptor / fighter. Then it stated the First Fleet had the most number of ships, this fleet was cut in half when the Reapers showed up at the Charon Relay and then a 10th of it was sacrificed to cover the retreat of the remaining elements..  

200 is conservatively small (ridiculous I feel, how did the writers arrive at that number, I wonder ), considering that the US Navy currently have 283 ships. The Alliance was supposed to be a galactic spanning force. I'd say they're stretched mighty thin, since they have to defend Earth, AS and the interests of human colonies. And after the BotC, they have to station a fleet at the Citadel. The Treaty of Farixen only controls the number of dreadnoughts per navy so I don't see why the Alliance wouldn't build more of the other classes after Shanxi. Shucks, I would in their shoes. It's not as if the economy was in tattles and they didn't have naval shipyards dedicated to building ships of the wall.

[MidnightRaith]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Sadly, the action isn't really starting till around Chapter 4. Yay for Nessicery Exposition! I'll just force it out and see if its gold or feces.

I'd take a break. Forcing something that won't come to me doesn't typically bring out my best, personally.

I did get through my block and get Chapter 2 up.

[LanceSolous13]

Not forcing it out usually results in me never finishing and I've gotten such a positive reply so far so I really don't want to stop.

[Drussius]

Obsidian Gryphon wrote...

Late. The question is settled I know  but then I'm currently poking around with Alliance fleets. Thing is, the codex only stated over 200 vessels but not the composition but it's a given it had to be ships bigger than a interceptor / fighter. Then it stated the First Fleet had the most number of ships, this fleet was cut in half when the Reapers showed up at the Charon Relay and then a 10th of it was sacrificed to cover the retreat of the remaining elements..  

200 is conservatively small (ridiculous I feel, how did the writers arrive at that number, I wonder ), considering that the US Navy currently have 283 ships. The Alliance was supposed to be a galactic spanning force. I'd say they're stretched mighty thin, since they have to defend Earth, AS and the interests of human colonies. And after the BotC, they have to station a fleet at the Citadel. The Treaty of Farixen only controls the number of dreadnoughts per navy so I don't see why the Alliance wouldn't build more of the other classes after Shanxi. Shucks, I would in their shoes. It's not as if the economy was in tattles and they didn't have naval shipyards dedicated to building ships of the wall.

200 seems to be low to everyone, but I imagine that building starships is not fast or cheap, especially given the sort of budget costs that were mentioned in ME1 for building a single eezo drive core. I'm sure that the Alliance is building ships as quickly as they can, but since each fleet lost a third of its ships in the Battle of the Citadel (assuming the Destiny Ascension was rescued), I'd imagine that in just a couple years, they barely had the time to replace the ships they lost, much less build more than the two new dreadnoughts they managed in that time.

And personally, I don't really think the Alliance can have a galaxy-spanning armada, given the number of pirate attacks, lost colonies, etc. that come up over the course of the three games. It's obvious that the Alliance is forced to station fleets in certain areas for defense, and then respond to threats elsewhere as quickly as they can. Of course, I wasn't counting Fighters as part of the fleet makeup in my estimation. I imagine a single carrier holds a few hundred fighters.

I personally think that people are overestimating the number of Reaper ships too. I think it's habit for sci-fi fans, who want to see massive space battles with tons of ships like have been shown in various sci fi franchises in movies and the like. Even if the reapers have been doing this for millions of years, and they make one reaper per cycle or whatever, they lost Sovereign, the reaper on Tuchanka, and the Reaper on Rannoch before the battle for Earth even began. So they're down 2 Reapers overall already, though only one is a Capital ship as far as I know. And the current cycle can't have been the first to manage to kill a few Reapers (the derelict Reaper in ME2 is a pretty obvious example of a previous cycle's success in this area). They only really show a few dozen reapers at most in any single cutscene. I'd imagine that their capital ships number in the mid-hundreds, rather than the multiple thousands (but they do, of course, have the smaller Reaper ships to support)

But anyway, I already rewrote the scene in question, and my question turned out to be moot. The only concrete number I included in the description was that there was a single dreadnought. It seems to me that 8 dreadnoughts and 8 fleets was too convenient a number to believe that there isn't just a single dreadnought assigned per fleet. I'd think every fleet would need one, just in case.

[fluffywalrus]

MidnightRaith wrote...
I did get through my block and get Chapter 2 up.

A wonderful chapter, by the way

[LanceSolous13]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Oh wow. Loads of pages since I left......Ugh. Too lazy to go read them.

Anyways, This is a question I posted to the Mirimancers and I suppose I could post it here as well.

Basically, I'm laying the groundwork for later Chapters and Shepard had a boyfriend back on Mindoir (who was killed by the Batarian Slavers. Yay...) and I feel like, as Shepard's Girlfriend, Miri should say something in aknowledgement of this fact, but I really can't figure out what she'd say. Keep drawing a blank.

Shepard is barely breathing in the Hospital and everyone is waiting and, basically, looking at pictures and articles of Shepard's life that Liara/EDI (haven't decided which) have found (Possibly for a Memorial or Article or something on Shepard. Haven't decided).

For awhile, my story is going to be Shepard's pre-ME1 life, showing how much he's changed from a Colonist on Mindoir to a Ruthless Alliance Soldier to the Diplomatic Commander in ME. Then we continue with Shepard's recovery.

Ugh. This is taking up too much of my time... *headdesk*

[fluffywalrus]

I don't really know Miranda all that well as a character, so...I don't think I could help you out there much at all. She seems rather blunt(though polite) most of the time, doesn't beat around the bush. I think she'd make her opinion quite clear. Possibly something respecting the fact, and sympathizing with the loss, possibly mentioning how time has changed both of them?

I'm pretty clueless in regard to Miri.

[LanceSolous13]

Issue is, I have no idea WHAT her opinion would be on this. Every attempt basically ammounts to "I didn't know he swung that way" and that doesn't sound right at all...

[Seracen]

Hey everyone (and OP, I also PMed you this message, more or less).

I am currently in the middle of writing a post-ME3 fic. I have most of the lore and progression already created. All that's left is writing it, however, I'd like everyone's opinion pertaining to one hiccup I'm having...

What do you consider a worthy aftermath to an antagonist, after the Reaper war?

I am currently playing with a Hive-mind resulting from Reaper remnants trying to hold-out, and a select few strong-minded individuals who manage to escape this gestalt (a nod to Marauder Shields comic by Koobismo here).

Do you consider something like this menacing enough? I want to read some fics to see how others progressed, but I'm trying to remain spoiler free until I resolve this, don't want to crib off other people notes, haha.

I'm actually continuing off my own established ME3 ending, in which I wrote out the death of Harbinger, so I'm kind of at a loss for anything other than "people get petty after a war." Which is great for a non-centralized enemy, but not very dynamic.

I'm playing loose and easy on the lore, playing it sort of vague barring a few key details, so any number of endings, fanmade or otherwise, could potentially work (headcanon being key to mulling over plotholes otherwise).

IN SHORT: What's a worthy followup to Harbinger as a centralized enemy? I am just looking for concepts, I don't need anyone to flesh out an arc for me, but I'm not averse to it. Sorry for the wordiness, and thanks for your time!

[Seracen]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Oh wow. Loads of pages since I left......Ugh. Too lazy to go read them.

Anyways, This is a question I posted to the Mirimancers and I suppose I could post it here as well.

Basically, I'm laying the groundwork for later Chapters and Shepard had a boyfriend back on Mindoir (who was killed by the Batarian Slavers. Yay...) and I feel like, as Shepard's Girlfriend, Miri should say something in aknowledgement of this fact, but I really can't figure out what she'd say. Keep drawing a blank.

Shepard is barely breathing in the Hospital and everyone is waiting and, basically, looking at pictures and articles of Shepard's life that Liara/EDI (haven't decided which) have found (Possibly for a Memorial or Article or something on Shepard. Haven't decided).

For awhile, my story is going to be Shepard's pre-ME1 life, showing how much he's changed from a Colonist on Mindoir to a Ruthless Alliance Soldier to the Diplomatic Commander in ME. Then we continue with Shepard's recovery.

Ugh. This is taking up too much of my time... *headdesk*

I was challenged to find a proper balance for Miri in my own fic.  I asked my co-author to help me craft a scene on how Miranda would react to Shepard's convalescense.

The solution we came up with: Miranda would be emotional, but resolute in her own way.  Feel free to read my Miranda epilogue chapter on how she reacts to Shepard being in the hospital (check sig below).

In Short, I think a progression for this should flow thus, just IHMO:

- Miranda shouldn't be fazed by Shepard's orientation, as the idea is that it's a non-issue for other like-minded characters.  If you consider the content cut out of ME2 where a same-sex Miranda, Jack, Ashley, and Kaidan existed, this is not a problem...

- Miranda should be awkwardly supportive of Shepard, a little bit of stuttering and "uhm, ehm" as she struggles to deal with her thoughts.

- Miranda should then turn it around to show how she's a rock to which Shepard can cling, she's strong minded like that in all other avenues of life, after all

For example:

m: Shepard, are...are you...

s:  Miranda...is that you?

m: I'm here...[tightly holds hand]

s: [smiles]

m: [jokingly] don't you ever do that to me again you bastard!

s: [nods, looking sadly off into the distance]

m: hey, I know that look

[she grabs his face, turning him gently to her]

m: I'm not like that poor soul back on Mindoir that you lost...I'm here for you, and a few bloody Reapers won't be stopping me from keeping it that way!

[they kiss]

Hope that gives you some ideas!

EDIT: I find that writing out a skeleton for the main beats of a problematic chapter help me flesh out while writing, and flow better with the pacing without over-talking it.

It's the most annoying part for me to skeleton out my story before I write, as I want to get to the good parts now!!! Still, it's an important part of the process for me.  Get the work out of the way in the first few days, so you can get ot the fun later!

Modifié par Seracen, 03 juillet 2012 - 07:40 .

[Spiritwolf1]

dpMeggers wrote...

MidnightRaith wrote...

Whew! Finally done with the type up. I still have to proofread over it, though, so I'm not ready to post yet.... Do any you hand write your chapters? I find that I'm constantly adding more material in the type up than what I originally wrote. If I ever lost the actual Word document, then I'd be up the river without a paddle because my notebook never matches up with the typed draft and the typed draft is always better than my hand written stuff.

I handwrite my plans/plotlines and occasionally handwrite drafts. Ultimately I'm lazy and it takes too long to write by hand and then retype everything. I always backup my files to an external hardrive in case of critical computer failure though.

Im not great at planning, but when I do I hand write them. I have a file full of stories I wrote as a teenager and young adult when my computer looked something like and Olivetti typerwritter and I hated it. Most of them are fun to read from time to tome, but junk... Except for one I might rework the concept and redo.

[Drussius]

Seracen wrote...

Hey everyone (and OP, I also PMed you this message, more or less).

I am currently in the middle of writing a post-ME3 fic. I have most of the lore and progression already created. All that's left is writing it, however, I'd like everyone's opinion pertaining to one hiccup I'm having...

What do you consider a worthy aftermath to an antagonist, after the Reaper war?

I am currently playing with a Hive-mind resulting from Reaper remnants trying to hold-out, and a select few strong-minded individuals who manage to escape this gestalt (a nod to Marauder Shields comic by Koobismo here).

Do you consider something like this menacing enough? I want to read some fics to see how others progressed, but I'm trying to remain spoiler free until I resolve this, don't want to crib off other people notes, haha.

I'm actually continuing off my own established ME3 ending, in which I wrote out the death of Harbinger, so I'm kind of at a loss for anything other than "people get petty after a war." Which is great for a non-centralized enemy, but not very dynamic.

I'm playing loose and easy on the lore, playing it sort of vague barring a few key details, so any number of endings, fanmade or otherwise, could potentially work (headcanon being key to mulling over plotholes otherwise).

IN SHORT: What's a worthy followup to Harbinger as a centralized enemy? I am just looking for concepts, I don't need anyone to flesh out an arc for me, but I'm not averse to it. Sorry for the wordiness, and thanks for your time!

I think the problem here is one of extremes. If you're looking for a new antagonist to replace the reapers, you face an issue of extreme examples. The Reapers (as a force, putting aside their reasoning or ending concerns) are about as insurmountable an opponent as you can get without introducing deities and other space magic. So anything you go to in their wake is going to be either A: Tame in comparison. Or B: Strain believability that there could be yet another insurmountable threat no-one ever heard of before lying in wait to take their place.

I think this is why so many stories set in the wake of the ME series go the route of rebuilding, small conflicts post-war, and so forth. Because you either need to go much smaller than the Reaper threat to keep a story realistic and believable, or take things to such an extreme that you risk losing your audience to an "Oh come on... Another godlike adversary/group to threaten the Galaxy? Gimme a break..." response.

I have some ideas as to where I would go with this, but I'm afraid I can't really outline them since if I did decide to tackle a post ME3 story, I'd want to use them. I guess in the end you just need to decide what sort of path you want your story to follow, and work out something that is believable and interesting enough to be worth a story about. I wish I could do more to help. Just thought another perspective might get your train of thought rolling in a direction that helps you, whether you agree with me or rabidly disagree.

Good luck

[Spiritwolf1]

Seracen wrote...

Hey everyone (and OP, I also PMed you this message, more or less).

I am currently in the middle of writing a post-ME3 fic. I have most of the lore and progression already created. All that's left is writing it, however, I'd like everyone's opinion pertaining to one hiccup I'm having...

What do you consider a worthy aftermath to an antagonist, after the Reaper war?

I am currently playing with a Hive-mind resulting from Reaper remnants trying to hold-out, and a select few strong-minded individuals who manage to escape this gestalt (a nod to Marauder Shields comic by Koobismo here).

Do you consider something like this menacing enough? I want to read some fics to see how others progressed, but I'm trying to remain spoiler free until I resolve this, don't want to crib off other people notes, haha.

I'm actually continuing off my own established ME3 ending, in which I wrote out the death of Harbinger, so I'm kind of at a loss for anything other than "people get petty after a war." Which is great for a non-centralized enemy, but not very dynamic.

I'm playing loose and easy on the lore, playing it sort of vague barring a few key details, so any number of endings, fanmade or otherwise, could potentially work (headcanon being key to mulling over plotholes otherwise).

IN SHORT: What's a worthy followup to Harbinger as a centralized enemy? I am just looking for concepts, I don't need anyone to flesh out an arc for me, but I'm not averse to it. Sorry for the wordiness, and thanks for your time!

Menacing is up to you and how you protray your nemisis. You could have a fuzzy bunny that is evil and great (Yeah I like Monty Python)(I get the feeling the last two post i put up are aging me )

I liked Harbinger but the fact that he really didn't do much in Mass Effect 3 and that he had a Star Child boss kinda diminished his usefullness and meaning to me. That was the one fail for me by the Mass effect team was how they killed this potential bad guy.

PS One of my fave baddies of all time, Top Dollar from The Crow (Who is Canadian BTW) If you ever get to watch this guy in that movie he was great.


Also about the Reaper and being a baddie I would wait and see what this leviathan DLC is first.

Modifié par Spiritwolf1, 03 juillet 2012 - 07:48 .

[Icyflare]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Oh wow. Loads of pages since I left......Ugh. Too lazy to go read them.

Anyways, This is a question I posted to the Mirimancers and I suppose I could post it here as well.

Basically, I'm laying the groundwork for later Chapters and Shepard had a boyfriend back on Mindoir (who was killed by the Batarian Slavers. Yay...) and I feel like, as Shepard's Girlfriend, Miri should say something in aknowledgement of this fact, but I really can't figure out what she'd say. Keep drawing a blank.

Shepard is barely breathing in the Hospital and everyone is waiting and, basically, looking at pictures and articles of Shepard's life that Liara/EDI (haven't decided which) have found (Possibly for a Memorial or Article or something on Shepard. Haven't decided).

For awhile, my story is going to be Shepard's pre-ME1 life, showing how much he's changed from a Colonist on Mindoir to a Ruthless Alliance Soldier to the Diplomatic Commander in ME. Then we continue with Shepard's recovery.

Ugh. This is taking up too much of my time... *headdesk*

Have you got the groundwork for how intimate Shepard is with Miranda? How she feels about his past? How he feels about her knowing? Any emotional baggage that she needs to touch upon? If you've haven't, reviewing the answers to these questions might help. Writing a scene where someone brings up their significant other's dead lover should be approached with caution. Well, for me, anyways. I couldn't even figure out how to plan that.

[Seracen]

@ Drussius: yes, you hit the nail on the head exactly for me!

I imagine that's why BW went the way they did for DA2, more vignettes for that intimate story feeling, as another Blight-level evil would lend itself to Dragon Ball Z levels of stupidity...

Yeah, it's a fine line between danger and overkill that I'm trying to walk...

[Sweawm]

Seracen wrote...

Hey everyone (and OP, I also PMed you this message, more or less).

I am currently in the middle of writing a post-ME3 fic. I have most of the lore and progression already created. All that's left is writing it, however, I'd like everyone's opinion pertaining to one hiccup I'm having...

What do you consider a worthy aftermath to an antagonist, after the Reaper war?

I'm writing my own Post ME3 story, and for the antagonist, I've tried to go for a threat of a different scale. While Reapers were ordered destruction of many worlds, I've gone for a new foe that favours chaos and anarchy. 

Working on my own modified Control Ending, I've created a number of new threats that are interested in power and conquest instead of outright destruction. 

[Caligno]

One thing I always find fascinating is when there's a lot of separate conflicts that are about average by themselves, but weaved together into a giant crisis. There isn't a whole lot of choices unless you get really creative, and it's incredibly hard to pull off convincingly well, but you'd definitely have at least my interest if you went that route.

EDIT: @Sweawm: Expect a long document. I already have two pages filled with only the first three paragraphs.

Modifié par Caligno, 03 juillet 2012 - 08:14 .

[Seracen]

Thanks guys, I think I'm starting to see a way to weave a plot that would be relatively concise in danger, without going overboard. In the last 15 mins, I've starting plotting out a chain of events that would otherwise seem innocuous.

Still fishing for ideas though, and thanks again!

[LanceSolous13]

Ok, I'll try and follow this in decending order.

Follow up Antagonist to the Reapers: I'm not exactly sure... I would HIGHLY suggest that the fic's main conflict connect to the original trilogy as to keep it from being isolated. My suggestion for searching for a conflict would be look for a conflict that is left unresolved in the original trilogy or look for some issue that is brought up by the ending itself. Like, ok, Husks and their species equivelents are obliterated by Destory, but what about those who are indoctrinated but not a Husk?

Reply to my ask for help from Seracen: I would rather not focus on the homosexual part of the relationship at all. I believe the writer's have confirmed that by 2180, The stigma is completely gone, so this should be a normal fact of life. I would rather just simply say something in just recognition of this, but I'm not sure what to say. Its really just an unshared side of Shepard's life she and everyone else of the Normandy's Crew, did not know of. For being THE Commander Shepard, He never really discussed much outside of what could have been seen on any vid, basically to play off the fact that he does exactly this in game.

Also, Shepard is effectivly out of the picture for most of this, missing a limb, horrible burns all over, staggering ammount of broken bones, ete. All the Primary Interaction from Shep for the first little while is going to be in Flashbacks to Mindoir, Skylien Blitz, Akuze, and Torfan. Shepard is nothing more than a bit better than he was during Lazzerus, which I do plan to play off of a bit.

Maybe I should toy with the fact that Miri knew nothing about any prior relationship?...Come to think of it, Didn't she say she spent years learning everything about him? Hmmm...

Icyflare's reply: I'm going to officialize their relationship/intimacy this very chapter in a flashback to the night after the Suicide Mission. Shepard is completely catatonic for the present moment, so he isn't going to be bringing it up. I looked it up and she does claim she knew everything to be known about Shepard, so I could play this off as she thought she knew everything and what didn't she know? And, I believe her emotional baggage was perfectly punched out of a third story window during ME3. lol

[MidnightRaith]

fluffywalrus wrote...

A wonderful chapter, by the way

Thanks! I think my main problem with this chapter was what direction I wanted to go with. I wrote about everything up to Shepard and Liara going into the med bay about two weeks before everything else. It's like I put them there and then... block. I knew I wanted Liara to really think about what she wanted to do in regard to her mother. That was something that was hinted at in the main game, but ME1 never went into any depth regarding how Liara has taken to her mother suddenly turning into a ruthless character. Many of the fics I read have her too gung-ho about the situation as well, almost like, "Whoo! I'm going on an adventure! I can't wait to see all the cool Prothean stuff. Oh, yeah and talk to Mom...." I always wanted it to be a bit more of a focus seeing as Benezia is her mother and despite their not being close, I never doubted that Liara wouldn't be concerned for her. Maybe their rift would actually make her even more concerned considering she may think that she should have noticed something off about Benezia, but couldn't considering they didn't talk enough, if at all.

Then, I just got inspired by the Extended Cut and how I didn't like it and something about one of Salser's (I think that's the name, anyway.) fics got me writing again as well. I think it was just the sheer amount of stories she writes and I thought that if she can get all those fics out, I can get to work on my next chapter. Then, I just looked at it and, whoosh, off I went. I don't even remember the issue I was having with it, it just took off. I love it when that happens.

Off topic: I just saw the midnight premier of Spider-Man. God, not only is this guy my new Nerdy Boyfriend, this movie was just so much better than the Tobey Maguire ones. I just did not like that guy. But, I love Spider-Man, so I may just be a tad biased.

[Icyflare]

Well, if Shepard is thinking about the people he lost in his life, like on Mindoir and such, following Seracen's approach would be a good start.

I agree with you though. Focus more on the dead lover thing rather than the homosexual thing. What probably could shock Miranda is the level of intimacy Shepard shared with his dead boyfriend. Maybe bring up some insecurity issues that she feels regarding their own relationships.

[Sweawm]

Caligno wrote...

Sweawm: Expect a long document. I already have two pages filled with only the first three paragraphs.

Then I'm glad your helping. I've read over it myself and spotted a new new errors and a major ranking error.