Reference to a specific person at the grade of [Lieutenant/Staff] Commander would be "Commander". Reference to multiple persons on that grade would be "commanders".lillitheris wrote...
But it’s unclear which it should be in this case:
“It’s good to see you, commander!” (or, less likely, Commander.)
Fanfic Writers’ Support Group
#2126
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 05:28
#2127
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 05:42
https://www.fanficti...84186&chapter=1
I really hope this is an actual link.
Modifié par Hadeedak, 04 juillet 2012 - 05:50 .
#2128
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 06:14
Would help if I could though. My username at FFnet is thedeadflag, and if you want to send me an email with your document in it, then you can merely send one my way at *my ffnet username*@gmail.com
I'm kind of bored and horrifically awake right now, trying to plan out how to publish my next few chapters, I could use something to take my mind off it
#2129
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 06:24
http://www.fanfictio...rking_the_Hours
#2130
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 06:28
That looks like a proper linkHadeedak wrote...
Maybe this is it? I'm just trying to figure this silly site out. Then I'll finish it up and stuff.
http://www.fanfictio...rking_the_Hours
But for some reason I can't connect to FFnet now, so I'll have to wait a few minutes. probably just server maintenance.
But yeah, I'll check it out soon
#2131
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:07
Hadeedak wrote...
Halp. Fanfiction.net is scary. But yeah, I'm totally trying this. If anyone could take a look and give me an opinion or two on this, that'd be aces. I'm trying the whole 'this is a fanfiction' thing.
Alright, gave it a look-see.
Have to say, wonderful flavour in this piece. Really liked how Shep's mind drifts around, all the minor details Shep thinks of. The frustration comes across quite clearly, and overall, the piece hits its mark, I think.
No complaints on how it's written, it reads like internal thoughts, so the writing style makes perfect sense as is.
Characterization here is just really solid.
Nothing that I can be too critical of that I can see...I've read it over twice now. Wish I could say more.
#2132
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:27
#2133
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:31
Otherwise, it depends. If it seems like a good spot to break off the chapter, then go for it. Otherwise, keep it in one. It mostly depends on what is going on at the time.
EDIT: For the first paragraph, I mean if you're going over the exact same time twice, but with different characters.
Modifié par Caligno, 04 juillet 2012 - 07:32 .
#2134
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:36
For two or more character perspectives, I usually do keep them in the same chapter but make it very clear when there is a change.
#2135
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:37
#2136
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:40
#2137
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 07:45
#2138
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:05
Caligno wrote...
Actually, Sweawm, is it fine if we use Google Docs for my responses on this? If I wait until I'm done and send it, you're probably going to have to read through a novel in of itself in a full month from now.
Finally was reading through the pages and found this. Yes, Google Docs is ok.
#2139
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:20
#2140
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:27
Caligno wrote...
All right, I've completed everything up to the first dialogue point. I'll send the link to the document over FF.net. Tell me if you aren't able to comment.
Fan Fiction has a spam filter, blocking the recieving of any links, so the link you sent me dosn't work. Try sending it to email.
#2141
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:29
#2142
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:31
Spiritwolf1 wrote...
both perspectives will be going at the same time and about the same event, but they will be in different places with different motivations
I like to interleave, in which case it works in one chapter; that is to say, one POV advances to a certain point, then it switches to another for the next segment, and maybe yet back.
If you’re describing overlapping; that is to say, POVs that deal with the same events, I’d go with separate chapters.
Alternatively, if you wanted a hectic pace to it, you could handle it as very short bursts (think one paragraph) from both POVs…but that’s a much harder task.
#2143
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:34
Caligno wrote...
Wait, what? It didn't go through at all? You replaced the (dot) with . ?
Oh! I did that, but it gave me a blank untitled document. Tried it again and I got it.
Just read through what you've done so far. I know I'm not the best writer there is, so your advice is really great. I'm already going to start work on a second version of the chapter using your advice.
You know you have a great Beta Reader when you get back four times as many words than the actual chapter
Modifié par Sweawm, 04 juillet 2012 - 08:44 .
#2144
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 08:54
I wonder if something as simple as a ‘Comment Here’ label above the entry fields would help.
#2145
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 09:33
lillitheris wrote...
I think I’m going to have to go in the ‘does not like’ column on the matter of the new FFN review/comment system. I’m not a huge fan of it, anyway (I liked to scroll the text behind the comment box to add notes), but I was hoping it might at least entice more commenters by being right there rather than a click away. This doesn’t seem to be the case — for me, anyway, I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed an uptick?
I wonder if something as simple as a ‘Comment Here’ label above the entry fields would help.
I've not noticed any kind of increase. Mind you, I figured my reader base may have lessened somewhat after the ME3 nonsense.
#2146
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 10:57
Only have to wait...a bit over five hours before I can get home and write it. <_<
In the meantime though, any tips or things a general fan might overlook when writing Jack? I get the feeling you'll know something, fainmaca, but I haven't gotten round to reading your story yet.
#2147
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 12:12
hot_heart wrote...
In the meantime though, any tips or things a general fan might overlook when writing Jack? I get the feeling you'll know something, fainmaca, but I haven't gotten round to reading your story yet.
It depends a little on your timeframe. I’ve found the ME3 Jack a much more nuanced character and matching my mental image better, so I’ve written her that way (without forgetting the psychotic biotic side, of course, which makes a tricky balance).
On the other hand, most of the Jack thread regulars prefer the harsher, uncompromising version. I thought she was a little over the top in ME2, personally, but…I summarized her character thus:
ME2: “F— with me, and I’ll f— you up.”
Mine/ME3: “F— with me or mine, and I’ll f— you up.”
That part doesn’t matter beyond your preference, of course, unless you’re trying to appeal to a particular segment of the player base.
Modifié par lillitheris, 04 juillet 2012 - 12:14 .
#2148
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 01:42
#2149
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 03:34
hot_heart wrote...
In the meantime though, any tips or things a general fan might overlook when writing Jack? I get the feeling you'll know something, fainmaca, but I haven't gotten round to reading your story yet.
If there's anything in particular you'd like to know more about, I can certainly try to help. For now, here's a general opinion on writing Jack.
A large part of the problem with writing Jack is that almost every fan you meet will have a different interpretation of her. I hope Lillitheris doesn't mind if I take the above view as an example. While many fans may say that 'F**k with me and I'll f**k you up' is a pretty accurate summary of the character in ME2, others will say that this is all pretense, that in reality Jack puts up all of these barriers and makes herself appear so unappealing because she's suffered so much at the hands of both those she trusted and those who didn't give her any choice in the matter, and now she figures the best way to ensure she never gets hurt again is to keep everyone on the other side of this tattooed, vulgar, aggressive image she's created. But then again you'll get another set of fans who'll say that all of the above is a load of crap. Like I said, everyone has their own image of the character. I mean, a prime example is the fact that I've just been debating with a fellow Jackolyte in the Jack support thread over just how closely tied together Miranda and Jack are in the story. The other poster supported an almost yin-yang relationship between the two, while I disputed that their relationship was one of circumstance more than personal vendetta. in the end, we were both right for our vision of the two characters.
If you want the best chance to write Jack accurately, make sure that your playthroughs of ME2 include at least one as a ManShep who romances Jack. You would not believe how many people suddenly find their views of the character turned upside down after that. If you have done that, then just write what you believe to be correct for the character. Your fic is your impression of the game universe.
#2150
Posté 04 juillet 2012 - 04:04
lillitheris wrote...
I think I’m going to have to go in the ‘does not like’ column on the matter of the new FFN review/comment system. I’m not a huge fan of it, anyway (I liked to scroll the text behind the comment box to add notes), but I was hoping it might at least entice more commenters by being right there rather than a click away. This doesn’t seem to be the case — for me, anyway, I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed an uptick?
I wonder if something as simple as a ‘Comment Here’ label above the entry fields would help.
Hrmm. I must admit, I'm not a fan of it either. However, since I have a dual monitor setup at home and I typically have a review window and a reading window, it doesn't bother me too much. When I read at work I have two windows on my mobile browser anyway, so again, not too bothered.
I will say, though, I have noticed a massive jump in reviews since the new system was implemented. Nova et Vetera averages 7-10 / chapter. Forever As One is a bit of an anomaly but I *think* it was published entirely after the new system and its 2 chapters have garnered more comments than my 3 other one shots put together.
For NoV, at least, my writing style / the content of the story certainly hasn't changed, so *shrug* I'm putting it down to the new system.





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