Hmm well my female noble pc wasn't really into being a grey warden. while she was curious about them and she did have a thirst for adventure, she was needed at home to watch the fort, literally. she was never one to shirk her duties, but she wasn't the straight laced, prim and proper lady her motehr wished her to be either. she was mischevious, a tomboy, and maybe even a little over indulged as the baby, but also tried to be dependable, responsible, and always tried to the the right thing. i dunno, maybe a bit like alistair? in reality though, she really did want to serve with her brother and father more than anything.
she was livid at duncan when she was conscripted. more than that. hell i'm surprised they didn't show her being dragged out by duncan. how could my pc just leave her parents behind to their deathes? they were still alive, they could have been saved. She didn't care if her father was bleeding, he still had a breath in his lungs and a pulse in his heart, so he could have been saved. There was more that could have been done, and it really felt like she had just abandoned everything to save her own skin. It bothered her; her family, friends and home were way more important than her and she held a deep mistrust and anger towards Duncan. After reaching Ostagar, her goal was to find Fergus. Since the mystical powers that is Bioware prevented the players from leaving the map to frolic off into the world, she begrudingly decided to go forward with being a warden and wait for her brother. She never really did respect Duncan fully, besides the conscription thing, ganking Ser Jory like that was wrong. What a bully.
After Flemmeth saved her, as seflish as it sounds, the first thing that came to her mind was finding her brother and praying that he was safe. Coming outside the hut though, I think that's when she started to become more aware of the world and everyone else in it. Because she saw Alistair and he was relieved that she was alive. I think she understood his feelings at that time, the feeling of utter despair, of being completely alone and having nothing left. To have something precious stolen away from you, to wish there was more that you could have done, the feelings of inadequicies of why you weren't there with them during the final seconds and why you are here now, instead of them. I think those were the silent feelings they both understood in that moment, but Alistair had found a little respite with my PC's survival, if only briefly. And for that, she just wanted to be a little stronger. She HAD to be stronger in order to push forward, for the both of them.
She still wanted to look for Fergus, but Morrigan was right in that finding him in the Wilds was not the best way to go about it (funny how meta game knowledge proves otherwise though). So while finding Fergus and revenge on Howe was always a priority, it was a silent one. She kept her feelings about her past to herself, except when asked (both Morrigan and Alistair ask too btw). She had nothing to hide but never wanted to be a downer, especially since she kind of took up the role to always be the group motivator as well as the leader. I think it may have also been a bit theraputic for her as well to help her friends solve their problems. She never brought it up herself though because she didn't want to burden anyone with her own problems. I think a part of her was also ashamed about her selfish desire to find her brother and get revenge on Howe. What would her friends have thought? I mean it works out that Howe was dealt with evnetually, but I know had there been an option or side quest kind of thing to either find Fergus or kill Howe in the middle of all the army questing, I would have taken it in a heart beat, and I wonder how much approval I would have lost with my party.
Being with her companions all the time though helped. It really helped heal a lot of the bitterness she held for the misfortune she had earlier. Alistair especially. Not that her other companions weren't friendly (except Morrigan), but she just always felt at ease with him. They coudl laugh, have fun, he could always cut the tension somehow, and you know he went out of his way just to make her feel a little more at ease with a bad situation. There were plenty of times he was being stupid on purpose, and it was appreciated. So in time, questing became less about herself and more about "for her friends", and "for the people" until it was finally "for Fereldan". It took a lot of time before she grew into her grey warden role. At first it was forced, and mechanic, but over time it became natural. She always tried to do the right thing as a Cousland, and there was no shortage of oppertunity for that as a grey warden. Somewhere a long the lines she must have forgotten that they were two distinctly different things.
The Sacred Ashes part was tough for my pc. The Gatekeeper asked her about her feelings on leaving her family behind. She lied. She wanted to say that she felt shame for abandoning her parents (paraphrase of one of the options) but she instead said she did not, because she needed to live for find Fergus. It renewed her guilt from that night. In reality, she believed Fergus to be dead - lost to the darkspawn either before or during the raid at Ostagar. Seeing her father's specter a few moments later made her feel even more empty. With Arl Eamon restored to good health though, and her armies/party marching to Denerim it was really only a matter of time before she would have her revenge.
It was a very empty one all in all. In some kind of weird twist of fate, my pc killed him near some furniture alongside the wall and his body was positioned funny. Well the collision was a bit weird around there so it was a pain trying to position myself *just right* so I could pick up the items off his persons. It was like even in the death he had to have the last laugh.
I can fully understand Alistair's rage and hatred toward Loghain because of my own pc's personal vendetta's toward Howe. She would have probably acted the same way had Hower been invited to the party. I don't think she would have quit being a warden, but I'm sure she would have left the party. There was no working beside a man like that.
You know the weird thing about all of this is when it came time to kill Loghain, my pc couldn't do it. I do think this is the one time she avoided her responsibility and let someone else do it for her. Interesting that Alistair would so readily take it too. I think she would have been able to do it had Anora not been there, but since she was, I believe she empathize with the Queen and her feelings to want to save her father. I think she also understands that given the chance, Anora will probably do everything in her power to destroy them later on.
It was also a little ironic at the end too. My pc didn't take Morrigan's offer first time around and sacrificed herself. Not just to save the man she grew to love, or to prevent hellspawn from being born or go against everything she and Alistair stood for as individuals, and grey wardens, but to be reunited with her family in the Maker's presence and Andraste's embrace. After all that, Fergus lived. He was the one she hoped and prayed for to find and when she had finally given up, he managed to scrape himself up and out of hell just a moment too late.
Wow, totoally didnt mean to write a book here, but yeah, that's how my human noble pc was first played out. Oh and as an off note, i know some people question Cousland ability to lead or say that (s)he isn't the next in line for Highever, but if you talk to the one bi dude you can bed, he actually says that most people and nobles acknowledge you as a very capable, eligible young noble and that you are actually favored over your brother as the next in line for succession of Highever.
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human noble origin.
it is of far more pressing concern: you don't fight your brother for ruining your sand castle when a tidal waves going to wipe out the beach. Not to mention the fact that if the Blight isn't stopped the PC's revenge will be bitter sweet at best.
