My Elissa Cousland started off as the hotheaded tomboy younger daughter, loyal to the family but dreaming of glory. Her mother had to restrain her from charging Howe's invading forces headlong at the gates, and then she immediately sees her father die (despite the aforementioned trying to will him to life through sheer optimism).
She voluntarily signs up for Grey Wardenship at her dying father's last request, all the while dreaming of finding Fergus and revenge against Howe, and her meeting with King Cailan gives her hope that dream will be fulfilled. Ostagar's ending and it all crashing down leaves her devastated for a while, and Alistair's obviously not leadership material, leaving everything relying on her. So she grits her teeth and continues forward on sheer forward momentum, because if she stops for a moment to contemplate what's going on she'll just break down and cry.
As she successfully proceeds through more quests, she keeps wondering why on Earth she's attracted to Alistair, who's a total wet blanket of a knight in her opinion. Thoroughly nice, a competent fighter, but no willpower. And yet she keeps getting further and further into liking him, and even flirting with him, and he with her.
And then Redcliffe arrives, and the revelation of who Alistair's father is, and suddenly it all makes sense to her. Alistair's no coward, nor is he a weakling. He's just been deliberately raised to be
afraid of having power or leadership. Every bit of training she's gotten as a Cousland, of responsibility, of taking charge, Alistair's been deliberately trained in the opposite. So her doubt in her own judgement is resolved: she hasn't gotten so soft in the noodle to fall for a wimp, just someone who's deliberately had his head messed with so he won't ever be a threat to Cailan's rule...
*cue sound effects of her train of thought screeching to a halt*
... 'Oh dear Maker!', she goes to herself. 'I've fallen in love with the next king of Ferelden!'
Because she can see the political reality that Alistair is denying, and that Arl Eamon will articulate out loud later on: the only realistic rallying point to Loghain's usurpation/regency is the one person alive with an actual blood right to the throne. She doesn't have to be one of the most experienced arls in Ferelden to spot this political equation. And she also knows that confronting Alistair with it right now will only panic him further, so... well, he
is her boyfriend. She has girlfriend privileges to help manage his life for his own good. Really!
Also, there's a Blight that needs defeating, or else all of Ferelden will die, and its not going to wait around for anyone.
So, from this moment on she has three separate things driving her: the duty of the Grey Wardens, her eventual hopes to crown Alistair and rule alongside him, and vengeance on Arl Howe. The Blight has to be first in priority despite her personal wishes... how fortunate that the quest to defeat it eventually leads into fighting the other two!
(Sometime during this, they do Alistair's personal quest, and despite her not really believing that philosophy herself, she chooses to tell Alistair that 'Everyone is out for themselves', as he so desperately seemed to need to hear it. And indeed, it did put some spine into him at last, Elissa saw, and he was wise enough to understand that she was not saying he needed to be become selfish, merely less selfless... if that made any sense)
By the time of the Landsmeet Elissa has enough to look forward to that she can remain coldly in control of herself when confronting Howe in the flesh, calmly informing him that his turn will come instead of visibly losing her temper to spit threats in his face. And indeed, when rescuing the queen, Howe's turn
does come, and its... good.
And then we come to Queen Anora. Who, in this particular playthrough, never turned against Elissa (as I chose to surrender to Cauthrien), or anything else. So when they're having their private girls' chat later on, its amiable enough. Anora is upfront about wishign to remain queen, and thinking that she's the better candidate for it, and dismisses Alistair as an amiable doofus. And Elissa smiles and nods and entirely promises Anora her support...
... all the while mentally drawing a target on Anora's back. Because no commoner's bratty little daughter, however clever, is going to be queen of Ferelden if that means her man Alistair is going to get cheated out of his birthright! Also, Anora can't be half as clever as she thinks she is, or else she'd have spotted that Elissa and Alistair are notably more than just friends, and thus that Elissa is the absolute last person in Ferelden that Anora should have approached. So really, its for the good of Ferelden that Elissa calmly promises Anora everything, while intending to hand her jack.
And indeed, at the Landsmeet, that is precisely how it goes. Anora's catty little power grab (leaping at the first sign of hesitation to claim that its a formal abdication indeed! is she even aware that such things are always done in proper form? why its necessary that the formalities be obeyed? why, if everyone was allowed to shout out in the Landsmeet that an opponent's verbal stumble was in fact an outright surrender, the law of the land would be turned into chaos! stupid ambitious little snip!)
At any rate, Anora was quite cheerfully hung out to dry, Alistair got to kill Loghain in single combat to find his closure (just as Elissa had found hers in gutting Howe), and then she adjudicated the dispute by proudly announcing that Alistair would be king... and she would rule by his side!
Whoops? Had she forgotten to tell Alistair she wanted to marry him first? Damn! ... good thing he's so good-natured about it.
And so the Blight was defeated and 'Princess-Consort' (Queen!) Elissa and her true love King Alistair I lived happily ever after.
... except for the fact that they will always remember the bargain with Morrigan they had to make, to allow both Alistair and Elissa to live.
Still, Morrigan and Elissa had become good friends, by the end, and she had promised that the child would not be brought back to threaten Alistair's rule, and... well, one day, they will find her. She said they would. And she never told Alistair anything less than the complete truth about what was involved, and so...
Well, happily ever after. Mostly.
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