52 réponses à ce sujet

[cg8900]

just had the chance to read it all, looks great!!! can't wait for more

[Stalker]

Thanks for all the latest feedback! Also proud to have the support of a BioWare employee 

[PowerMetal500]

Cant wait for the next chapter

[Taboo]

Uh, I was asked to come here yesterday out of the blue. I was asked personally for feedback?

Anyway, this is really great. Your color choice here is particularly interesting. You shift from black to green. Black creates a sense of suspicion when viewed through the eye. Green is a neutral color and relaxes people. I get the sense we're going to see some trouble (REALLY TABOO? REALLY?)

Faust is...your creation? Or is he canon? I should read some of those comics that people keep talking about.

Anyway, I keep getting sidetracked. Your dialogue feels natural, which is the best thing about this. There is nothing more distracting than dialogue that feels campy. It flows nicely and works within the confines of your narrative.

I thought Miri was a name used by that gentleman in Miranda's loyalty mission. I had imagined that this hadn't escaped that connection. Unless Miranda uses it outside of that. But on a business mission? I'm not sure. I don't think pet names for each other really fit the romance.

But I AM amused that he calls her "Miss Lawson" in the game.

But I'm nitpicking. Great work!

[Stalker]

Project Leader Ali contacted his friends personally this time, yes. A little bit more advertise for a finished Act 1. We desperately need some support and criticism to improve.

Faust is our own creation as much the pilot Madkov is. We will elaborate their relationship a little bit more later on. We have thought of something when we made him call her Miri...

[ChrisRudson]

I'm actually looking forward to this "Faust" character. He reminds me a bit of Zaeed and Kai Leng.

[Stalker]

ChrisRudson wrote...

I'm actually looking forward to this "Faust" character. He reminds me a bit of Zaeed and Kai Leng.

You won't be dissapointed 

[Cmdr. Ken Shepard]

I haven't been able to read much of the comic yet, but what I've seen it is an amazing piece of work! Congrats to those who worked on it for making such awesome work.

[Stalker]

And it's weekend again! We are back with a new episode! Check it out:
Episode 4 - Part A.
From now on we will release a new part of an episode every week instead of releasing 2 parts every 2 weeks.

... and our first "Data Entry" is also released. The Quarian Probe Intel that led to the mission.
These Data Entries will provide additional background information with every future episode.

[rwilli80]

Very nice, the art is really good, I like the characters choosen, and so far the story seems interesting. Can't wait to read more.

[Prosarian]

Pretty interesting. Looking forward to more.

[NOD-INFORMER37]

Looks good but before I get into it does it contain spoilers for any of ME3's endings? 

Modifié par NOD-INFORMER37, 18 juillet 2012 - 01:19 .

[xIxDarkWolfxIx]

Looking good. Can't wait for more. =)

[Stalker]

NOD-INFORMER37 wrote...

Looks good but before I get into it does it contain spoilers for any of ME3's endings?

Not directly, no.

It could potentially provide background information on certain events in ME3, but it won't spoil them for you. At least not for now. 

I will make sure to put spoiler warnings if it would do so in the future. Thanks for the feedback.

Modifié par Mr Massakka, 18 juillet 2012 - 04:09 .

[Stalker]

We are back again with a new episode part! And don't forget the soundtrack for the best possible experience.

We also have a brand new Data Entry: The data received from the Prigarri, the crashed Prothean ship!


Please give us as much feedback as possible: How do you like it? What would you want to see?

Modifié par Mr Massakka, 23 juillet 2012 - 09:19 .

[Stalker]

Bumpity Bump for Episode 5 - "Loose Ends"!
This time with an extended stand-alone soundtrack!


Please go ahead and comment with your opinion in order to keep this thread longer alive than last time! 

[Taboo]

You're working with such an interesting color palette. It works, and works well. Not only is this great to look at (I find myself simply staring at the panels trying to absorb all the contents) but it feels alive.

You have accomplished so much in so little space. Your dialogue is great, it looks great, it doesn't cause an inkling of disinterest.

[Stalker]

wow, thank you ! 

We are doing our best to satisfy 

Modifié par Mr Massakka, 03 août 2012 - 02:38 .

[Ajensis]

Mr Massakka wrote...
We desperately need some support and criticism to improve.

Since you've mentioned it yourself, I would like to say this: you should find someone to read through your dialogue before putting it together. There are regular mistakes throughout, and although they're small, it does detract slightly from the experience. The same with some of the characters, e.g. Mordin saying "Advise seeking cover in the jungle" in episode 5 of act 2. I don't think he uses articles, so it would feel more 'Mordinly' to have him say "Advise seeking cover in jungle". It may seem like nit-picking, I know, but keeping true to the characters is pretty important (at least to me) in a story like this the same goes for some of the other characters as well, acting in ways that I personally feel are sort of odd, like the way Tali joins the mission. That could very well just be me, though

Artwork is good and the plot has potential! I would've chosen a different name for the story, though, one that feels more in touch with the Mass Effect universe. But again, nit-picking don't mean any offense by any of the above, just some honest thoughts

[Stalker]

We already have someone additional taking care of the dialogue (since Episode 4) and that article in Mordin's line is actually a typo I haven't recognized yet.

We decided for Tali to act like this because her loyalty was never towards Miranda or the team. Without Shepard, she basically has to trust a stranger who spied on her people (more on that later).

Even small issues are issues, so thanks for the feedback there 

[Stalker]

We are back with a new episode and a new ambient soundtrack!

Please leave a comment (here or on deviantart) with some feedback!

[Taboo]

I'm still suprised at how well you communicate mood through color. Black sends an immediate response to the audience, at leas subconsciously. Brief flashes of color, like Tali firing, are wonderful to look at.

You've created tension without doing much, and that's quite a feat. What I mean by that is that in very few panels you express not only the emotions of the characters (Miranda's line is spot on) but you express the danger that they're in as well. It's dark, they aren't quite sure what they're dealing with and now they need to find Faust. But what horrors lie in the dark?

Great work, as always.

[Stalker]

Thanks, it makes us happy to see that our work reaches people enough to support us like that^^

[hot_heart]

Really liking the art. It's certainly unique, and complements the style of the story. The ambient soundtrack is pretty good too.

As others have said, though, the writing could use a little work. It's not terrible but there are weird bits of phrasing, as well as odd little mistakes and things that can distract slightly.

And for characters like Mordin I'd expect a line such as "Recommend immediate action. Hostiles in near environment might turn out to be an issue", to be a little more succinct (or at least drop the 'an'). Something more like, "Recommend immediate action. Hostiles nearby. Could prove problematic."

Also, a minor thing (and maybe there's an undisclosed explanation), but while I like the little misdirect with Faust's helmet in Episode V, does he not need one for that environment? Perhaps there's another reason he always wears a helmet...

[Stalker]

^^Thanks for the comment. We appreciate every little feedback.

We are aware of the problems with the writing. The problem is, we currently seem to have a lack of help there. We are doing our best with our limitations.

The helmets are just for safety reasons because the atmosphere is of unknown composition. Ijur-17 provides enough for a Human to live non-permanently. Still, Faust has his reason to wear a helmet