267 réponses à ce sujet

[Joe Del Toro]

Greylycantrope wrote...

Ironically enough jijeebo got them to admit they're wrong in the weapon bob thread

God, he's a better man than we for actually getting through to them.

Anyway,

To: Commander Shepard

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP

Sincerely,
Kalros

[Tapkomet]

Dear Harbinger

Why don't you send your Collector army to kill me? Oh wait, they are all dead. But you could send some Reapers after me. Surely you could drag some forces from Palaven now Turian fleets have withdrawn? Oh right, they all exploded! And the same thing happened to your Kahje fleet! Well, you'll just have to direct this personally.

Yours sincerely, Bacteria.

[CountSnackula]

To: Shepard
From: Tali
Subject: Re: Quarian/Geth peace???

Keelah, Shepard, please stop replying to your emails when you're drunk!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Shepard
To: Normandy Crew
Subject: Quarian/Geth Peace

All right, seriously, enough is enough. I've been inside a geth and inside a quarian. I think I have enough perspective on both sides to make this work. Next person to bother Joker about it has to wash Vega's clothes and armor.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joker
To: Shepard
Subject: Re: how'd he do it?

Commander, I can't count how many times the crew has dropped by to talk about how you managed to get the quarians and the geth to cooperate. I'm getting sick of hearing about it. Can you set the record straight?

Modifié par CountSnackula, 08 juin 2012 - 11:17 .

[Joe Del Toro]

Tapkomet wrote...

Dear Harbinger

Why don't you send your Collector army to kill me? Oh wait, they are all dead. But you could send some Reapers after me. Surely you could drag some forces from Palaven now Turian fleets have withdrawn? Oh right, they all exploded! And the same thing happened to your Kahje fleet! Well, you'll just have to direct this personally.

Yours sincerely, Bacteria.

P.S. I once killed the Martians, you know!

[loungeshep]

To Toombs

RE: Hunt me down and kill me.

Yeah okay, LOL.

Alyssa Shepard

Modifié par loungeshep, 08 juin 2012 - 11:47 .

[loungeshep]

To: Toombs

Re: Hunt me down and kill me.

Yeah, okay. I killed a Reaper, stopped a Geth invasion, got sucked out of an exploding stealth ship, came back to life, destroyed the Collectors, AND blew up an entire system by slamming an asteroid into it's mass relay.

I'm on Earth in Vancouver, I, my Super Krogan, a Turian rebel, and my Cain will meet you outside.

Lol.

Cmndr. Kristiana Shepard (decommissioned)

P.S. LOL.

[GreyLycanTrope]

Bit of a long one
Subject:Shepard
Harbinger! Make sure that Shepard doesn't enter to the conduit until TIM's ready for her.
Catalyst

RE:Shepard
Doesn't enter the conduit even when TIM's ready for her.
Harbinger

RE:RE:Shepard
No, no. Until TIM's ready for her.
Catalyst

RE:RE:RE:Shepard
Until TIM's ready for her, I'm not to enter the conduit.
Harbinger

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
No, no. No. You keep her out of the conduit until TIM's ready for her.
Catalyst

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
And then let her through.
Harbinger

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Right.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
I don't need to do anything apart from just stopping her from exiting the conduit.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
No, no. Entering the conduit.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Entering the conduit. Yes.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Right

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Oh, can she go through the conduit if we go with her?

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
N-- no, no. No. You just keep her down there until we're ready.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Until the Keepers are ready

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
No, not the Keepers. TIM.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Right. We'll keep her out until TIM's ready.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
And make sure to send her up after.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Her who?

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
SHEPARD!

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Oh, yes, of course. Ah. I thought you meant Marauder Shields. You know, it seemed a bit daft to me having a Reaper guard against a Reaper.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Is that clear?

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Oh, quite clear. No problems.

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
Right.Why are you leaving the conduit?!

RE:RE:RE:etc.Shepard
I'm coming to you.

Modifié par Greylycantrope, 09 juin 2012 - 12:03 .

[loungeshep]

To: Toombs

Re: Hunt me down and kill me

Oh no! Not that! Please Mr. psychologically screwed loser, don't kill me!

Pft. idiot please.

Amara Shepard

P.S. I hope you enjoyed the Thresher Maw I sent you!


(the only renegade Shep I have)

[loungeshep]

To: Toombs

Re: Hunt me down and kill me.

Toombs please, I faced down Sovereign, that's a Reaper, an army of Geth and pirates that would make you wet yourself, and I was killed by the Collectors and all they did was ****** me off.

So I ask you, what do you even hope to accomplish by coming after me? Nothing?

Janara Shepard

[Joe Del Toro]

Greylycantrope wrote...
*Monty Python's Holy Snip*

Awesome, Gyropope.

From: Harbinger
To: Shepard

They laughed at me for building a human Reaper! But I built it anyway. It fell, but I made another one! it fell again, so I made a third one! That one fell but the fourth! That one stayed up!

Assuming Direct Control,
Harbinger

Modifié par Joe Del Toro, 09 juin 2012 - 12:00 .

[C-Sec Officer]

To: Javik
From: Shepard
Subject: RE: "Prothy the Prothean"

Yes you can throw Joker out the airlock.

Shepard.

--

To: Joker
From: Shepard
Subject: Meet near the airlock

Joker if you have time can you meet Javik near the airlock.
He wants to show you something.

Shepard.

[Erield]

To: Alliance Fleet (All)
From: Admiral Anderson
Subject: London

I was born there, you know.

[Tapkomet]

Erield wrote...

To: Alliance Fleet (All)
From: Admiral Anderson
Subject: London

I was born there, you know.

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Kilimanjaro"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

-----------------------------------------

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Paris"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

--------------------------------------------
To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Normandy"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Kursk"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Thermopylae"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Everest"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Hastings"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

Modifié par Tapkomet, 09 juin 2012 - 01:03 .

[Erield]

Tapkomet wrote...

Erield wrote...

To: Alliance Fleet (All)
From: Admiral Anderson
Subject: London

I was born there, you know.

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Kilimanjaro"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

-----------------------------------------

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Paris"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

--------------------------------------------
To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Normandy"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Kursk"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Thermopylae"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Everest"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

----------------------------------------- 

To: Admiral Anderson
From: SSV "Hastings"
Subject: Re: London

Really?

To: Alliance Fleet (All)
From: Admiral Anderson
Subject: Re: Re: London

No, not really.  Do I sound like I was born in London?   I was actually born in Harlem, NY, but Shepard doesn't know that.  Let's see how long it takes before he figures out we're just trolling him.

[bowery tuff]

I hope no one's put one like this out there ...
I'm going top-down.

From: iluvquarianhips@n7.gov
To: IllusiveMan@cerberus.org
Subject: Haha!

Well, well, well. Not only have I killed your top assassin (with some pretty sweet style I might add), but I've found the secret to controlling the Reapers. That's right! All this time the Catalyst was located on Tuchanka. The reason I'm telling you this is because I'm so confident of my victory, I dare you to show up in about 6 hours and try and stop me. I'll attach the coordinates.
PEACE!

P.S. Saw Miranda recently. She said to tell you you smell and she hates you.


From: IllusiveMan@cerberus.org
To: iluvquarianhips@n7.gov
Subject: RE: Haha!

Shepard! I should have known you would slip up. Now humanity can finally prosper. You said I was hurting humanity by trying to control giant synthetics hellbent on killing all organics. Well now who's insane? They'll build me a statue for this!

P.S. Miranda didn't really say that. Did she?


From: iluvquarianhips@n7.gov
To: IllusiveMan@cerberus.org
Subject: RE: RE: Haha!

Bring it, old man! Tell you what. I'll even leave all my crew and weapons behind. See you on Tuchanka in 6.

P.S. She totally did.


From iluvquarianhips@n7.gov
To: baby-maker-wrex@urdnot.gov
Subject: calling one in

Sup, Wrex? Hey, can you do me a solid and have about 30 to 40 angry Krogan at the attached coordinates on Tuchanka?  Tell them if they see an old guy with glowing eyes he's there to reintroduce the Genophage. Thanks! See you on Earth.
So long, Wrex.


From: baby-maker-wrex@urdnot.gov
To: iluvquarianhips@n7.gov
Subject: RE: calling one in

COnSiDer hIM PULvErizED!
SHepARd ...

Modifié par bowery tuff, 09 juin 2012 - 02:20 .

[Grimez7]

Jenonax wrote...

Grimez7 wrote...

I'm not good with words but I wish Shepard would have responded to Ash's email in ME2

Allow me,

*clears throat*

Dear Ashley,

**** you, I'm with Tali now.  You had your chance.

Shepard

lmao, i should have seen these responses coming XD

[Unholyknight800]

Grimez7 wrote...

I'm not good with words but I wish Shepard would have responded to Ash's email in ME2

Dear Ash,

I recently discovered I'm in love with Tali so I apologize for this upsetting piece of news. I'm not sure if it would've worked out though Ashley, we were getting so distant before the attack and when I woke up, I never thought of you until the Illusive Man told me you were on Horizon.
If you ever want to talk about it then tell me a time and place.  I'm sorry Ash but I've moved on and I hope you do too. 

From Mathis Shepard

Modifié par Unholyknight800, 09 juin 2012 - 02:27 .

[dmay7]

To:Commander Shepard (cshep@alliance.com
From:ljg@ncis.com
Subject: "Grab your gear"

Dear Commander Shepard,

I do not appreciate you stealing my catchphrase.

Signed,
Leroy Jethro Gibbs

[FeralEwok]

From: Commander Shepard
To: Kal'reegar
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Reegar, nice job leaking a fake story about your death to the extranet. Catch the Reapers offguard. I like your style.

keelah se'lai
-Shepard


From: Commander Shepard
To: Liara
--------------------------------------------------------
Captain's quarters. 15 minutes. Bring that justicar outfit.


From: Commander Shepard
To: Lt. Vega
---------------------------------------------------------
For the last time Vega, yes I hear that humming noise. It's a starship...they hum.

[The Love Runner]

Dear Bioware,

Can you fix my face, please?

Shepard


Dear Master Chief,

If you can get Marcus Fenix, Big Daddy, Kratos, and Solid Snake, I will totally join you all in tomorrow night's game of poker.

Shepard (Commander/Spectre of the League of Legends)

Modifié par Galactic Runner, 09 juin 2012 - 06:57 .

[Erield]

To: Catalyst, Reapers (all)
From: Cmdr. Shepard
Subject: Beat it

I don't want you to ever come around here
I don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in my eyes and I hope my words are clear
So beat it.  Just beat it.

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it

[Archontor]

From javik@edenprime.com.
To Harbinger@darkspace.reapers.

In my cycle you missed one.

PS, THIS HURTS YOU.

[Dean_the_Young]

thesnake777 wrote...

Dear: Alliance Command

I am inquiring about my back pay. You owe me two years pay, as well as another six months pay for when I was unjustly incarcerated. I also believe I am due for a bump in my pay grade and you owe me my bonus from using my likeness in recruitment vids. Please wire the Credits to my account or the Normandy will be unable to continue its mission.
From,
Shepard.

To: Commander Shepard
From: Alliance Command

Paychecks require one to work. Rotting on a table while clinacly dead does not count as work.

[Dean_the_Young]

Stamina Rose wrote...

To: Alliance Command
From: Shepard
Subject: Where the hell is my money?!?!?!

It has come to my attention now that I have access to my bank account that I have swindled and left with a measly 20,000 credits. Give me back the 1,657,387 credits that is owed and you won't have a problem with me...or my claymore.

Commander Shepard,

Payment irregularities are handled in person. Please feel free to come by the Alliance Military Pay Office in London at your earliest convenience.

VR,

Alliance Military Pay Office

[The Love Runner]

Dean_the_Young wrote...

thesnake777 wrote...

Dear: Alliance Command

I am inquiring about my back pay. You owe me two years pay, as well as another six months pay for when I was unjustly incarcerated. I also believe I am due for a bump in my pay grade and you owe me my bonus from using my likeness in recruitment vids. Please wire the Credits to my account or the Normandy will be unable to continue its mission.
From,
Shepard.

To: Commander Shepard
From: Alliance Command

Paychecks require one to work. Rotting on a table while clinacly dead does not count as work.

To: Alliance Command
From: Commander Shepard

I was keeping nature alive with the nutrients from my body!!