To: Starchild (A.K.A. Star-Jar Binks)
From: Javik
I have more eyes than you have choices for Shepard.
To: Joker
From: Shepard
Do you want thighs and legs in your fried chicken combo?
Emails/Messages Shepard ought to have written:
Débuté par
CanadianGunshy
, juin 07 2012 12:23
Retour en haut
#252
Posté 09 juin 2012 - 10:35
CanadianGunshy
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- Members
- 46 messages
Dear Harbringer
I loved my conversation with soveriegn. He was aloof, mysterious, and had a fantastic talent for wordplay. I understand you prefer to work through your "assuming direct control" to converse with me, but I'd really appreciate a few moments of your immortal existence to simply have a little chat.
Shepard
P.S. See attached "Overcoming your fear of public speaking"
I loved my conversation with soveriegn. He was aloof, mysterious, and had a fantastic talent for wordplay. I understand you prefer to work through your "assuming direct control" to converse with me, but I'd really appreciate a few moments of your immortal existence to simply have a little chat.
Shepard
P.S. See attached "Overcoming your fear of public speaking"
#253
Posté 09 juin 2012 - 10:46
Ticonderoga117
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- Members
- 6 751 messages
CanadianGunshy wrote...
Dear Harbringer
I loved my conversation with soveriegn. He was aloof, mysterious, and had a fantastic talent for wordplay. I understand you prefer to work through your "assuming direct control" to converse with me, but I'd really appreciate a few moments of your immortal existence to simply have a little chat.
Shepard
P.S. See attached "Overcoming your fear of public speaking"
P.S.S. I want to chat because I'm talking to this little Glowing kid here and what he is saying totally contradicts all that me and you went through 6 months ago. Not that I like you, but I hate him more than you and Soverign combined.
#254
Posté 10 juin 2012 - 01:23
Erield
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- Members
- 1 220 messages
To: Kai Leng
From: Shepard
Subject: Cereal
I thought about breaking into your house and eat your cereal for the adrenaline rush. That's when I realized I'm not 12. I'll just bust into Cerberus's highly secure, highly secret space station filled with an army of mooks and kill you. It won't be as exciting as either of the times I killed a Reaper on foot, or even the times I killed a thresher maw on foot, but it might raise my heart rate slightly.
Cmdr. Shepard
From: Shepard
Subject: Cereal
I thought about breaking into your house and eat your cereal for the adrenaline rush. That's when I realized I'm not 12. I'll just bust into Cerberus's highly secure, highly secret space station filled with an army of mooks and kill you. It won't be as exciting as either of the times I killed a Reaper on foot, or even the times I killed a thresher maw on foot, but it might raise my heart rate slightly.
Cmdr. Shepard
#255
Posté 10 juin 2012 - 07:54
saintjimmy43
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- Members
- 303 messages
To: Admiral Hackett
From: Shepard
Subject: Hospital
I've brought Admiral Anderson to the hospital - he's not looking good, but they won't treat him until I fill out all this paperwork. Do you know where he was born?
-Shepard
From: Shepard
Subject: Hospital
I've brought Admiral Anderson to the hospital - he's not looking good, but they won't treat him until I fill out all this paperwork. Do you know where he was born?
-Shepard
#256
Posté 10 juin 2012 - 08:15
Joe Del Toro
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- Members
- 2 136 messages
From: Admiral Anderson
To:Kai Leng
That was Space Hamster food.
Sincerely,
Admiral Anderson
To:Kai Leng
That was Space Hamster food.
Sincerely,
Admiral Anderson
#257
Posté 10 juin 2012 - 08:59
Soviet Rei
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- 115 messages
This is a relatively older one but by god I lol'd so hard at it.Jorrkit wrote...
From: subjectzero****sgiven@gmail.com
To: tkrios@IPkahje.net
hey thane when you die can I have your jacket
jack
From: tkrios@IPkahje.net
To: subjectzero****sgiven@gmail.com
Jack,
You may, though I sincerely doubt that it will fit properly.
Best,
Thane
From: subjectzero****sgiven@gmail.com
To: tkrios@IPkahje.net
killer
Needs more Jack-related emails, this thread XD
#258
Posté 11 juin 2012 - 12:07
Erield
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- Members
- 1 220 messages
To: Earth (All)
From: Harbinger
Subject: Fear
Don't fear the Reapers. We are the harbinger of your ascendance. You do not yet comprehend your place in things. This delay is pointless. Progress cannot be halted. Evolution cannot be stopped. We are your genetic destiny.
From: Harbinger
Subject: Fear
Don't fear the Reapers. We are the harbinger of your ascendance. You do not yet comprehend your place in things. This delay is pointless. Progress cannot be halted. Evolution cannot be stopped. We are your genetic destiny.
#259
Posté 11 juin 2012 - 12:13
C-Sec Officer
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- Members
- 325 messages
To: Shepard
From: Kai Leng
Subject: Eating your cereal.
Yes you read it right, I ate your cereal. How do you like me now!
---
To: Kai Leng
From: Shepard
Subject: WTF?!?!
.....................What is this, I don't even.....
From: Kai Leng
Subject: Eating your cereal.
Yes you read it right, I ate your cereal. How do you like me now!
---
To: Kai Leng
From: Shepard
Subject: WTF?!?!
.....................What is this, I don't even.....
#260
Posté 11 juin 2012 - 01:03
draken-heart
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- Members
- 4 009 messages
TO: Garrus Vakarian
From: Commander Shepard
Subject: Shooting Contest
Garrus
i promise i won't tell anyone how a gay, redheaded, vanguard chick beat you at Sniping ok?
You're friendly Commander
Shepard
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO: Traynor
FROM: Shepard
SUBJECT: Owe me
Traynor
Remember when i offered to let you use my Shower? well, let's say you owe me
Your Girlfriend
Shepard
P.S. also, change your status on face book (or the ME equivilant), it is the 22nd century for crying out loud, also Dr. Chakwas is lesbo too!!!
From: Commander Shepard
Subject: Shooting Contest
Garrus
i promise i won't tell anyone how a gay, redheaded, vanguard chick beat you at Sniping ok?
You're friendly Commander
Shepard
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO: Traynor
FROM: Shepard
SUBJECT: Owe me
Traynor
Remember when i offered to let you use my Shower? well, let's say you owe me
Your Girlfriend
Shepard
P.S. also, change your status on face book (or the ME equivilant), it is the 22nd century for crying out loud, also Dr. Chakwas is lesbo too!!!
#261
Posté 11 juin 2012 - 02:10
draken-heart
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- Members
- 4 009 messages
bump and
TO: Liara
FROM: Shepard
SUBJECT: Pictures
Liara
i saw the pictures you posted, you better pull them down or i'll throw you out the airlock
your commanding officer
Shepard
TO: Karin Chakwas
FROM: Shepard
SUBJECT: Sympathies
Doc
I am sorry for your loss, i am sure she meant alot to you.
Shepard
P.S. GET OUT OF THE CLOSET, IT IS THE 22nd CENTURY AFTER ALL.
TO: Liara
FROM: Shepard
SUBJECT: Pictures
Liara
i saw the pictures you posted, you better pull them down or i'll throw you out the airlock
your commanding officer
Shepard
TO: Karin Chakwas
FROM: Shepard
SUBJECT: Sympathies
Doc
I am sorry for your loss, i am sure she meant alot to you.
Shepard
P.S. GET OUT OF THE CLOSET, IT IS THE 22nd CENTURY AFTER ALL.
#262
Posté 11 juin 2012 - 04:16
CanadianGunshy
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- Members
- 46 messages
Dear Kai Leng
In the words of my favorite psycotic biotic... "I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
Sincerely,
Shepard
In the words of my favorite psycotic biotic... "I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
Sincerely,
Shepard
#263
Posté 12 juin 2012 - 03:40
thesnake777
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- Members
- 2 158 messages
*Bump*
To: Kasumi Goto
From: Shepard
Subject:...cut it out
Kasumi
I have to say stealing my wallet the first three times was funny...now its just stupid....Return my wallet or I'll tell Jacob about your "poetry" and how you get your "inspiration" for that "poetry"
From,
Shepard
To: Kasumi Goto
From: Shepard
Subject:...cut it out
Kasumi
I have to say stealing my wallet the first three times was funny...now its just stupid....Return my wallet or I'll tell Jacob about your "poetry" and how you get your "inspiration" for that "poetry"
From,
Shepard
#264
Posté 12 juin 2012 - 03:44
thesnake777
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- Members
- 2 158 messages
Dean_the_Young wrote...
To: Commander Shepardthesnake777 wrote...
Dear: Alliance Command
I am inquiring about my back pay. You owe me two years pay, as well as another six months pay for when I was unjustly incarcerated. I also believe I am due for a bump in my pay grade and you owe me my bonus from using my likeness in recruitment vids. Please wire the Credits to my account or the Normandy will be unable to continue its mission.
From,
Shepard.
From: Alliance Command
Paychecks require one to work. Rotting on a table while clinacly dead does not count as work.
Dear: Alliance Command
Hows your london office doing? Ill try to get there as fast as I can...Though since "rotting on a table while clincaly dead does not count as work" I'm a little rusty when it comes to navigating the Normandy..I know you understand........Oh and Cerberus paid better.
From
Shepard
#265
Posté 12 juin 2012 - 04:15
SAmaster01
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- Members
- 192 messages
Dear Mr./Ms. VS
Please pull your head out of your ass, stop whining about Cerberus, and focus on the mission, like Tali and Garrus did in the last game. Do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it. I am Commander-Freaking-Shepard, the last hope for this galaxy, and I could really use some cooperation in the whole 'saving the galaxy from the Reapers' thing.
Sincerely, your Commanding Officer.
Please pull your head out of your ass, stop whining about Cerberus, and focus on the mission, like Tali and Garrus did in the last game. Do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it. I am Commander-Freaking-Shepard, the last hope for this galaxy, and I could really use some cooperation in the whole 'saving the galaxy from the Reapers' thing.
Sincerely, your Commanding Officer.
#266
Posté 12 juin 2012 - 04:16
MysticSpace
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- Members
- 394 messages
ReggarBlane wrote...
Dear Anderson,
How's London?
Wish you were here.
Love and kisses,
John Shepard
Dear Shepard,
It's dank, dark, and Gloomy in London...And now that the Reapers are here it's worse.
#267
Posté 17 juin 2012 - 12:50
ananna21
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- Members
- 218 messages
Dear VS,
Quit with the back and forth between whining and being jealous of the other people who I am nicer too because they treat me trust and respect,
Shepard
Quit with the back and forth between whining and being jealous of the other people who I am nicer too because they treat me trust and respect,
Shepard
#268
Posté 01 août 2012 - 06:37
CanadianGunshy
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- Members
- 46 messages
May be a bit old - but got another:
Dear Sovereign,
You're "realm of existance so far beyond my comprehsnsion" is actually a cycle based off of the fear of synthetic robots killing organic life? Not so hard to comprehend...
I had such hopes.
Your friend,
Shepard
Dear Sovereign,
You're "realm of existance so far beyond my comprehsnsion" is actually a cycle based off of the fear of synthetic robots killing organic life? Not so hard to comprehend...
I had such hopes.
Your friend,
Shepard
