267 réponses à ce sujet

[xsdob]

Re: asari command,

"Hey lang, go [forced multiplayer] yourself! I'm going to find you, you peice of [SP dlc], and when I do I'm goint to shove my [forced multiplayer] gun so far up your [Artistic Integrity] you'll be [SP dlc]ing out bullets for the rest of your life you son of a [Bioware lied]. But first I hope when we meet next time you saved enough room for my [forced multiplayer] omnibalde you [Miranda Romance] because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your [Godwins Law] spine!!! "

Modifié par xsdob, 07 juin 2012 - 01:15 .

[Leafs43]

Dear Jack,

You have gone soft.

/trollface


-Shepard

[Leafs43]

 Dear Sovereign,


You were useless.


-Shepard

[Jenonax]

Hey you traitorous, ship-stealing, AI bonking, glass boned jerk,

I heard a really interesting story whilst I was at Huerta Memorial the other day. It was about an asari commando and a little girl in a barn.

Bring my ship back if you want to hear the rest.

Still your Commanding Officer, Shep.

[Joe Del Toro]

RE: Two asari one cup

For the last time, James, I'm not watching this.

Comdr. Shepard

[Eole]

jijeebo wrote...

Dear Kai Leng,

ZOMG CHECK THE KITTEN IN THE LINK IT'S SOOOO CUTE!!!

p.s. It's totally not a virus.


Love Shepard.

Ok ...
I think i peed myself now ...
HAHAHAHAHA !

Best Spam Ever !

[jijeebo]

Dear Illusive Man,

Why do you always shout your name in e-mails?

You're called Tim, WE GET IT... Jesus.


Shepard
xoxo

[breakdown71289]

Shepard: "Dear Wrex,

                       Wrex."

Wrex:  "Dear Shepard,

                   Shepard."

Modifié par breakdown71289, 07 juin 2012 - 12:55 .

[George-Kinsill]

Dear Councilor Tevos,

On second thought, I am not sorry.

Sincerely,

Commander Shepard, SSV SR2 Normandy

[Joe Del Toro]

FW: MAKE SURE U READ!!!!!!

A asari wuz walkin wiv her turian boo on tha Citadel and she say 'Do u luv me 4eva?' and he say 'NO'. So she ran and ran rite in2 tha airlock and flu out in2 space.

The bf ran up2 tha glass n sed 'Bbe, i ment 2 say i luv u 5EVA'

Plz pass this on if u luv sum1!

Comdr. Shepard


RE: FW: MAKE SURE U READ!!!!!! 

Shepard, I'm kind of busy being a shadow broker here. Stop spamming me.

Liara

[Jenonax]

Dear Commander Shepard,

Have you been injured in an accident that wasn't your fault?

Then contact me, Zaeed, and I'll blow their ****ing brains out.

[ananna21]

Dear Joker,
I know how attached you have become with EDI.I'm sure it would be easier to be with EDI if the two of your were biologically equal enough. That is why I will make sure such an outcome that results in that shall never happen. I did die because of you, A very painful death you know. So if you leave me you might not get your sexbot,
Your Commanding Officer Shepard:whistle::innocent:

Modifié par ananna21, 07 juin 2012 - 01:00 .

[George-Kinsill]

Dear Kalros,

I really appreciated your help on Tuchanka and I hope you enjoyed the dietary supplements. I hear they're high in both protein and iron. I may bring some more next Wednesday.

Sincerely,

Commander Shepard, SSV SR2 Normandy

[jsar72]

Dear Normandy Crew,

Please stop getting drunk between missions...the impressions are causing Javik to throw up all over the ship.

Thank you for your cooperation!

Shepard

[jijeebo]

URGENT

Shepard, I've found intelligence that indicates Cerberus have taken an Alliance Admiral called Kahoku hostage in one of 3 secret bunkers, I have forwarded the co-ordinates!

Liara

---------------

RE: URGENT

Uh Liara, I took care of that 3 years ago with Kaidan and Garrus... You were locked in a Prothean bubble at the time. But it's closer than the warning about Akuze you sent me last week, so that's something.

Glad to see you're getting better at this Shadow Broker thing.

Shepard

[ananna21]

Dear Kid,
You were not cute or endearing in anyway. Stop haunting my dreams as I truly thought nothing endearing aboout you.
Sincerely
Shepard: The one who tried to save you even though you were dumb beyond hope.

Modifié par ananna21, 07 juin 2012 - 01:04 .

[Jenonax]

Dear Harbinger,

I've sent four emails now. Where are you? I know we've had our differences, pal, but its just not the same without you chasing my arse all over the galaxy. Its just not a war without you. This kid tries but I just can't take him seriously. Its past his bed time, for crying out loud!

Your nemesis, Shepard.

xx

[Joe Del Toro]

How are things on Earth?

Hi, Morinth, I got your email. Are you safe?

Comdr. Shepard


RE:How are things on Earth?

WOOOEEEEYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH

-Morinth

[George-Kinsill]

Dear Harbinger,

I realize we have our differences, but I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay? Look, I know that I said at your age you might not be able to "Assume direct control for much longer," but it was just a joke. I didn't mean anything by it. If it makes you feel any better, I'll let you get in a few shots on me and scream next time we see each other. You can even say, "I know you feel this," just like old times. I hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,

Commander Shepard, SSV SR2 Normandy

P.S. The attached link has some advice on what to do if you ever encounter any problems assuming direct control. Not saying you have any, but if you do, this might help.

www.multispecies_viagra.com

[ananna21]

Dear EDI,
Your actions during the collector missions resulted in my respect for you. Your extensive foresight likely saved my life more times than I can remember. Since you got that Fembot it has since decayed. Your presence now has only made me miss legion more. As you seem more interested in quenching the unquenchable libido of Joker. I do not dislike but you should look into writing a farewell message in these trying times. Also read the feminine mystique.
Shepard

[Volc19]

Dear Morinth.

The Council is starting to get on my nerves.

You know what to do.

With love and rainbows, Sheppypoo.

[jsar72]

Dear Citadel Control,

A couple years ago I planted a secret bug in the tower. I caught the orgy on data disc. I am sorry but I really need the credits for upgrades since the alliance is too cheap to pay for them for me. If you don't send me 5,000,000 credits and a limo next time I come there, I will be forced to sell copies on the extranet for 1000 credits a pop.

Commander Shepard

[Joe Del Toro]

RE: Orders?

We fight or we die.

Comdr. Shepard


RE: RE: Orders?

Sir, we were hoping for more detail than that

Sincerely,
Alliance Command

[ananna21]

Dear people of the Citadel,
This is place is not for you
if know what is good for you.
Best make haste if don't want
become reaper paste.
Sheaprd

[jijeebo]

Subject: DOES THIS HURT YOU?


SHEPARD, ARE YOUR BONES AND FLESH ACHING BECAUSE OF WAR FATIGUE?

WELL WORRY NO MORE, BECAUSE YOU CAN CONSOLIDATE ALL YOUR SENSES INTO ONE EASY, FLESHY PULP FOR JUST £9.99 A MONTH.

WE'LL EVEN GIVE YOU THE FIRST MONTH ABSOLUTELY FREE AND THROW IN THIS LIMITED EDITION WRITING UTENSIL!


DO NOT FUMBLE AROUND IN IGNORANCE WHEN YOU CAN ASCEND LIKE A FLOATING FEATHERED CREATURE WITH A POINTY MOUTH, ORDER NOW!!!