267 réponses à ce sujet

[Jenonax]

ananna21 wrote...

Dear Rachni Queen,
I saved you twice so where are my troops. I thought you would be one ally that would actually be useful
Shepard, the who silenced the sour yellow note twice.

Dear Shepard,

PSYCHE!

Queenie

[EricHVela]

Dear Cerberus,

Please, accept this as my formal notice if resignation. It has been a pleasure for me to work with Cerberus and their
impressive resources and personnel. This past year has taught me many things, and I expect to be use that knowledge
soon in my new career. It is with great hope that I was able to leave Cerberus with similar benefits. I only wish for your
success in your future endeavors.

Of course, I realize that my timing is inopportune for you, and hope that taking the Normandy and crew leaves no hard
feelings between us. I apologize for destroying the Collector base. It was for the best. I would like to collaborate in the
future on other projects none-the-less and hope we can put the incident behind us.

Love and kisses,
John Shepard

[alec1898]

ReggarBlane wrote...

Dear Cerberus,

Please, accept this as my formal notice if resignation. It has been a pleasure for me to work with Cerberus and their
impressive resources and personnel. This past year has taught me many things, and I expect to be use that knowledge
soon in my new career. It is with great hope that I was able to leave Cerberus with similar benefits. I only wish for your
success in your future endeavors.

Of course, I realize that my timing is inopportune for you, and hope that taking the Normandy and crew leaves no hard
feelings between us. I apologize for destroying the Collector base. It was for the best. I would like to collaborate in the
future on other projects none-the-less and hope we can put the incident behind us.

Love and kisses,
John Shepard

Okay.  That.

I love you.

[jsar72]

Candoo wrote...

jsar72 wrote...

Liara,

Your info drone got out again last night and tried to anal probe EDI...Joker is pissed. He broke 3 fingers hitting the console buttons too hard. Please do something about the drone before we lose our pilot.

Shep

My Dearest Shep,

I am sorry that this has happened again. It was supposed to be probing Uranus in search of Klingons.

Your Loving Liara

Dear LiLi,

Tali already tried that not an hour ago with her emergency induction tube/straw thingy. If this keeps going on, I am gonna need an emergency port pillow.

Love
Shep

[Omanisat]

Jenonax wrote...

Hey you traitorous, ship-stealing, AI bonking, glass boned jerk,

I heard a really interesting story whilst I was at Huerta Memorial the other day. It was about an asari commando and a little girl in a barn.

Bring my ship back if you want to hear the rest.

Still your Commanding Officer, Shep.

You are a delightfully twisted human being.

[Jenonax]

Dear Mr Krios,

We write to inform you that we have misdiagnosed a simple cough as Kepral's syndrome. You will not die next week and will live well into your 320's.

Signed, Dr April Fool.

[ananna21]

Dear Mom,
I know the amount of time we have spoken in the last 3 years have zero but now we will just pop over to Rannoch for someone I care about and yet you never met
Shepard Your forcibly distanced child.

[EricHVela]

alec1898 wrote...

ReggarBlane wrote...

Dear Cerberus,

Please, accept this as my formal notice if resignation. It has been a pleasure for me to work with Cerberus and their
impressive resources and personnel. This past year has taught me many things, and I expect to be use that knowledge
soon in my new career. It is with great hope that I was able to leave Cerberus with similar benefits. I only wish for your
success in your future endeavors.

Of course, I realize that my timing is inopportune for you, and hope that taking the Normandy and crew leaves no hard
feelings between us. I apologize for destroying the Collector base. It was for the best. I would like to collaborate in the
future on other projects none-the-less and hope we can put the incident behind us.

Love and kisses,
John Shepard

Okay.  That.

I love you.

Doesn't work so well when quoted.

[CrutchCricket]

Sent: Today, 22:08
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject:RE:RE: RE:RE:RE: Help!!

I'm MacGyver, LOL!
________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:06
From: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
To: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Help!!

That was amazing! We won! And it made sense? How'd you do that?
______________________________________

Sent: 14 seconds later
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject: RE:RE:RE: Help!!
Attachment: Reaper solution.zip
________________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:05
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject: RE:RE:RE: Help!!

I'll have it fixed in no time.

________________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:03
From: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
To: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
Subject: RE:RE:Help!!

Misleading statements, artistic integrity and Garrus' calibrating wrench.

Shepard.
_______________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:00
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject: RE: Help!!

Alright, what do I have to work with?

MacGyver

_________________________________________________

Sent: Today, 21:55
From: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
To: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
Subject: Help!!

Mac, you gotta help me! The Reapers are about to destroy all civilization and we pissed all our resources away on a stupid plot device that no one knew what it did! Now this holokid is talking nonsense at me and asking me to pick a color!

Shepard.

Modifié par CrutchCricket, 07 juin 2012 - 02:11 .

[Candoo]

Wrex,

I have been over-hearing so many things these past few days, it's been very hard to focus.

Just the other day, I heard it mentioned that you have 4 "test of kills".  That doesn't sound very impressive. I honestly thought that you were a better soldier than that.

I would like you to meet me in my cabin later to discuss this, and compare tactics. I'll show you what I've got, and you can show me what you've got.

Shepard

Modifié par Candoo, 07 juin 2012 - 02:59 .

[C-Sec Officer]

Dear Humans,

You are all racist.

From,

The Angry Turian

-----------------------

Dear Angry Turian,

Your breath stinks.

Shepard.

Modifié par C-Sec Officer, 07 juin 2012 - 03:04 .

[CSMone01]

CrutchCricket wrote...

Sent: Today, 22:08
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject:RE:RE: RE:RE:RE: Help!!

I'm MacGyver, LOL!
________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:06
From: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
To: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Help!!

That was amazing! We won! And it made sense? How'd you do that?
______________________________________

Sent: 14 seconds later
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject: RE:RE:RE: Help!!
Attachment: Reaper solution.zip
________________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:05
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject: RE:RE:RE: Help!!

I'll have it fixed in no time.

________________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:03
From: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
To: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
Subject: RE:RE:Help!!

Misleading statements, artistic integrity and Garrus' calibrating wrench.

Shepard.
_______________________________________________

Sent: Today, 22:00
From: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
To: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
Subject: RE: Help!!

Alright, what do I have to work with?

MacGyver

_________________________________________________

Sent: Today, 21:55
From: "Commander Shepard" <shepard@normandy.sr2.com>
To: "MacGyver" <macgyver@phoenix.foundation.com>
Subject: Help!!

Mac, you gotta help me! The Reapers are about to destroy all civilization and we pissed all our resources away on a stupid plot device that no one knew what it did! Now this holokid is talking nonsense at me and asking me to pick a color!

Shepard.

epic freaking win.

[dmay7]

Dear Citadel Counsellors.

Thank you for informing me that there was a control panel and a power conduit on the underside of the Citadel. After a couple thousand years of your prescene, I'm sure that you could not have simply have NOT checked the bottom of your galactic capital. Don't worry, your information on these devices made my decision SO MUCH EASIER when Hackett attached the Crucible to your delighted completely explored 'thought it was Prothean' structure.

Again, thanks for the info.

Loving regards,

Commander John Shepard, a SPECTRE (meaning I'm privy to this information).

P.S. In case 'sarcasm' is a mental illness only displayed in humans, I shall sum this down for you. Asari Councillor, I hope that in the next 300 or so years of your life you starve VERY SLOWILY for being such a ******. You claim to be the crown gem of democracy? You can't even check ONE LITTLE AREA OF THE CITADEL!?!?! Turian Councillor, I wish I was there to see your food supply run out, so that I could see the look on your face when you're forced to eat OUR food, and then die a very painful allergic death. And don't think you can just bum off the Quarians, because I'm forwarding this to them, and attaching a private vid I had Kasumi record of you calling all of them 'suitrats'. Enjoy trying to fight off 50,000 ships by yourself. And as for you, Salarian Councillor, I guess you lucked out only having a 40 year life span, but I seriously hope that Wrex and the rest of Krogan slowly cut off each of your limbs, and force you to watch them cook all of your limbs of a grill, and then proceed to eat them, and force you to eat them as well.

And all because you couldn't just take a little shuttle and look under the Citadel. You people are pathetic.

[justafan]

From: inspectreshepard@spectre.com
To: prothytheprothean@spacemail.com
Subject: Victory Message

Dear Javik,

In my cycle we didn't lose to reapers.

Sincerely,
Commander Shepard

[Oni Changas]

Jenonax wrote...

Hey you traitorous, ship-stealing, AI bonking, glass boned jerk,

I heard a really interesting story whilst I was at Huerta Memorial the other day. It was about an asari commando and a little girl in a barn.

Bring my ship back if you want to hear the rest.

Still your Commanding Officer, Shep.

LOL awesome.


Dear Commander Shepard,

I did your wife.

Always thinking of your shocking rescue,
Feron.

[CanadianGunshy]

Dear Wrex

Don't make me regret this.

Shepard

Attached: Genophage Cure

[spirosz]

edit

Modifié par spiros9110, 07 juin 2012 - 03:04 .

[Zulmoka531]

From: Shaepard
To: Miranda
CC: Garrus, Tali, Jacob, Ashley, Kaiden, Steve, Traynor, Thane, Jack, Jacob, Liara

We'll bang, okay?

[CroGamer002]

From: Mario Shepard
To: Jacob Taylor


Please drop the Micheal Bay movie black character stereotype act.

You're just annoying with it and still being boring.



I still have no idea how you got with Miranda and that pretty girl you're having a baby with.
What's her name again?

[CanadianGunshy]

Dear Rachni

Whatever happened to "Our cresendo shall burn the darkness clean"?

Shepard

[saintjimmy43]

Dear Turians,
Please advise your troops to commit suicide before capture. These Marauders and their shields will be the death of me.
Shepard

[CroGamer002]

From: Mario Shepard
To: Han'Gerrel vas Neema

F*ck you!

I hold you responsible for Legion's death as well, so I advise for you to run after we defeat Reapers.


P.S.
Remind Daro'Xen not to get near Legion's "body" in 1km radius.

[Makrys]

Oh my god this thread has much win. I can't stop laughing.

[MoonsKisu]

jijeebo wrote...

Subject: Just a reminder.

We've slept together, it's okay for you to address me by my first name you know.

Forever faithful,
Shepard Shepard


Send To: Liara, Miranda, Jack, Tali, Kelly, Diana, Steve, Kaidan

:D

[Makrys]

jsar72 wrote...

Dear Liara,

Don't worry, everything will be okay with the mission. Keep your head down and be safe, I look forward to talking more about those blue babies when this is all over.

I love you
Forever yours
John

Dammit! My eyes are watering... 

Modifié par Makrys, 07 juin 2012 - 07:33 .