267 réponses à ce sujet

[The Love Runner]

Dear Starchild (A.K.A. Star-Jar Binks),

(In Batman Voice) SWEAR TO ME!!

Shepard

[DirtySHISN0]

NUDE PICTURES OF THE ILLUSIVE MAN!!!!
_________________________________________________________

From; Cerberus HQ.

Good. You opened this message.This isn't really nude pictures of the
illusive man. He is busy counting casualty reports and designing your
new leash.

So you escaped our fight on the citadel. You're not as stupid as i thought.
But never forget your best wasn't good enough to stop a terminally ill drell.
Now an entire galaxy still has a council because you lacked the strength
to win. The rumor about Kai Leng needs to be re-written. I will be there for
the final chapter. It ends with your rape.

- Shepard

Modifié par DirtySHISN0, 07 juin 2012 - 11:27 .

[EricHVela]

To: Joker
From: Shepard
Title: Re: Sorry.

Why would that be a problem?

Shepard

----- Original Message -----
To: Shepard
From: Joker
Title: Sorry.

Shepard,
At Purgatory, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't attractive. It would just be weird. You're like a sister to me.

Joker

[Unholyknight800]

DirtySHISN0 wrote...


NUDE PICTURES OF THE ILLUSIVE MAN!!!!
_________________________________________________________

From; Cerberus HQ.

Good. You opened this message.This isn't really nude pictures of the
illusive man. He is busy counting casualty reports and designing your
new leash.

So you escaped our fight on the citadel. You're not as stupid as i thought.
But never forget your best wasn't good enough to stop a terminally ill drell.
Now an entire galaxy still has a council because you lacked the strength
to win. The rumor about Kai Leng need to be re-written. I will be there for
the last chapter. It ends with your rape.

- Shepard

[Jenonax]

ReggarBlane wrote...

To: Joker
From: Shepard
Title: Re: Sorry.

Why would that be a problem?

Shepard

----- Original Message -----
To: Shepard
From: Joker
Title: Sorry.

Shepard,
At Purgatory, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't attractive. It would just be weird. You're like a sister to me.

Joker

Oh my God, that has actually done me in, well done, good sir 

[DirtySHISN0]

MORLAN'S
__________________________________________________

From; Morlan's customer services.

We regret to inform you that your payment method was declined.
Please use an alternative payment method in order to complete
the payment progress.

Your order of:

Krogan reproductive organs                                                      X2


will not be shipped until a valid payment method is submitted.
Should you require more information about your order please
contact us via the email address supplied in this message.

We look forward to hearing from you Mr Leng,

With regards,
Morlan's trade group

Modifié par DirtySHISN0, 07 juin 2012 - 11:51 .

[filetemo]

from: Commander Shepard
to Alliance Social Network staff
CC: Can't log in.

I'm unable to log in to the forums. I'm starting to suspect I got banned for saying Cerberus pays better. Also, I don't care what your IP tracing says, CerberustrooperBBQ is not an alt-id of mine nor I have ever logged in with that account.

[Erield]

Shepard (to the Catalyst): Sooo, which button was the mute?

[Jenonax]

Dear whoever understands synthesis,

I have just been informed that synthesis may cause me to grow mechanical body parts between my legs. Is this normal?

Signed, Gender-Confused Commanding Officer.

[EricHVela]

To: mlawson@sr2.cerberus.org
From: shepard@sr2.cerberus.org
Title: Re: Whoops!

It's because I told Joker and he told EDI and she told everyone. Isn't it?

Shepard

----- Original Message -----
To: shepard@sr2.cerberus.org
From: mlawson@sr2.cerberus.org
Title: Re: Whoops!

Shepard. That's not why I'm mad.

----- Original Message -----
To: mlawson@sr2.cerberus.org
From: shepard@sr2.cerberus.org
Title: Whoops!

Miranda,
I swear I didn't know you were LawBringerSR2 on iPartner. I would think my medical records would have been familiar, and with the username ReapaKilla...

I just froze up. It was really a shock when you answered the door saying "come in and get it over with" naked.

Shepard

[CanadianGunshy]

Dear Moridin

Need a job? Got room on my crew for a singing scientist salarian. Your sexual advice is sorely missed.

Shepard

PS. Pre-romance jitters.

[Rhz]

After Me 3 ending to the illusive man (if hes alive)

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Cerberus Headquaters.
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE

[Jenonax]

Rhz wrote...

After Me 3 ending to the illusive man (if hes alive)

Dear Everyone,

Sing along!

Love Shepard

[dmay7]

To: Stanley Kubrick
CC: Arther C. Clarke
From: Shepard
Title: Your space child...

Dear Stanley and Arther,
I found your space child, he grew up a little bit. Please take him back.

Regards,
Commander Shepard

P.S. Get him some more crayons. The only colors he knows are Red, Green, and Blue.

[JesseLee202]

Jenonax wrote...

Hey you traitorous, ship-stealing, AI bonking, glass boned jerk,

I heard a really interesting story whilst I was at Huerta Memorial the other day. It was about an asari commando and a little girl in a barn.

Bring my ship back if you want to hear the rest.

Still your Commanding Officer, Shep.

My favourite right here. 

[Grimez7]

I'm not good with words but I wish Shepard would have responded to Ash's email in ME2

[EricHVela]

Grimez7 wrote...

I'm not good with words but I wish Shepard would have responded to Ash's email in ME2

inb4 we'll bang ok

[Jenonax]

Grimez7 wrote...

I'm not good with words but I wish Shepard would have responded to Ash's email in ME2

Allow me,

*clears throat*

Dear Ashley,

**** you, I'm with Tali now.  You had your chance.

Shepard

[Joe Del Toro]

Grimez7 wrote...

I'm not good with words but I wish Shepard would have responded to Ash's email in ME2

Hey Ash

*schlllk*

Comdr. Shepard

[Erield]

To:  Bailey
Subject: 

I smell BACON! BACONBACONBACONBACONBACON! IIIIITT'S BAAAACON!

Modifié par Erield, 08 juin 2012 - 12:52 .

[Joe Del Toro]

Son of a b-FINE.

[Zacatus88]

Dear Garrus and Liara,

I know it was scary when Harbinger was shooting lasers at us but did you really have to leave me down there? You guys could have at least hooked me up with some medi-gel or something.

-Shepard

[Erield]

Joe Del Toro wrote...

Son of a b-FINE.

Lol...got rid of the evil pic.  I just couldn't do it.

[dmay7]

To: Issac Clarke
From: Shepard
Subject: That story you told me...

Hey,
Remember that story you told me about zombified creatures, mind controlling artifacts, and dead people coming back to haunt you?

None of that was true...right?

Regards,
Shepard
------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: Shepard
From: Issac Clarke
Subject: Re: That story you told me...

Shepard,
When in doubt, use the plasma cutter.

Clarke.