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Emails/Messages Shepard ought to have written:


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267 réponses à ce sujet

#201
RyrineaNara

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Mesina2 wrote...

RyrineaNara wrote...

Dear Earth's officials,

I will not give any apologizes for shooting Undia, since I did my duty not only as a Specter but an Alliance officer as well.
Cmder. Shepard


Dear Cmdr. Shepard.

We never asked for an apology.



NOW GET THOSE FORCES TO EARTH!


Dear Alliance Officals,

I know, I was pranking you! Y'all really need to get a sense of Humor :D.


PS> .< 
Why don't you handle it? Oh wait.... You decided too put me in jail instead of preparing for the Reapers.

Cmdr. Shepard

#202
Joe Del Toro

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Huzzah, this thread is back!

To: Commander Shepard
From: Garrus Vakarian
Subject: Turiangoatse

I'm Garrus Vakarian and THIS, IS my rectum.

Sincerely,
Garrus


RE:Turiangoatse

NOO-!

Comdr. Shepard

#203
thesnake777

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Dear: Alliance Command

I am inquiring about my back pay. You owe me two years pay, as well as another six months pay for when I was unjustly incarcerated. I also believe I am due for a bump in my pay grade and you owe me my bonus from using my likeness in recruitment vids. Please wire the Credits to my account or the Normandy will be unable to continue its mission.
From,
Shepard.

#204
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Reply To: K. Leng
From: C. Shepard

Attachment: Morlan's Famous Shop

Subject: Thessia

That gunship tells me there's one area where you just don't measure up.

#205
thesnake777

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sH0tgUn jUliA wrote...

Reply To: K. Leng
From: C. Shepard

Attachment: Morlan's Famous Shop

Subject: Thessia

That gunship tells me there's one area where you just don't measure up.

hahahahahah I love it.

#206
Deltakarma

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thesnake777 wrote...

To: Zaeed
From: Shepard
Subject: Secutry Cameras...

Listen Zaeed, we found some of the back logged surveillance footage of the Normandy..Um...really as a friend...You need to see someone about the relationship between you and "Jessie"...what you were doing...it....that...Just see someone.


RE: Security Camers

To: Shepard
From: Zaeed

Mind your own damn buisness.

#207
Jenonax

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Dear Hackett,

Firstly I'd like to say how much I love and respect you, sir.

Secondly I would like to say, go quietly with the people in white coats, I think its for the best.

I have ordered the Crucible destroyed, you insane bastard.

Yours, Shepard

#208
Archontor

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Dear Commander Sheppard.

RAAAAAAARGHHHH 

(Translation)

< Why thank you Shepard for a most splendid meal, Reaper bio metal is exquisite with a dash of krogan and a side of Tomkah. I believe the most similar earth delicacy is Lobster Thermidor lightly seasoned. I wish you the best of luck.>

<Love Kalros Esq>

Modifié par Archontor, 08 juin 2012 - 07:53 .


#209
thesnake777

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Deltakarma wrote...

thesnake777 wrote...

To: Zaeed
From: Shepard
Subject: Secutry Cameras...

Listen Zaeed, we found some of the back logged surveillance footage of the Normandy..Um...really as a friend...You need to see someone about the relationship between you and "Jessie"...what you were doing...it....that...Just see someone.


RE: Security Camers

To: Shepard
From: Zaeed

Mind your own damn buisness.




RE:RE: Security Cameras

To: Zaeed
From:Shepard

Alright Zaeed Ive deleted all the vids. One thing though. How did no one in engineering hear you? 

#210
Subguy614

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Dear Mako,

Really missed exploring alien planets with you.

Shep

PS Your firepower would have come in handy.

#211
Joe Del Toro

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Subguy614 wrote...

Dear Mako,

Really missed exploring alien planets with you.

Shep

PS Your firepower would have come in handy.


Dear Commander Shepard,

I HAS A PHYSIX LOL UPSIDE DOWNS N SH*T

Sincerely,

The Mako

#212
dorktainian

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From. C Shepard
to. Traynor.
Re: Normandy Retrofit.

So Traynor. Wheres my f....kin Hamster ****?

#213
Deltakarma

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thesnake777 wrote...

Deltakarma wrote...

thesnake777 wrote...

To: Zaeed
From: Shepard
Subject: Secutry Cameras...

Listen Zaeed, we found some of the back logged surveillance footage of the Normandy..Um...really as a friend...You need to see someone about the relationship between you and "Jessie"...what you were doing...it....that...Just see someone.


RE: Security Camers

To: Shepard
From: Zaeed

Mind your own damn buisness.




RE:RE: Security Cameras

To: Zaeed
From:Shepard

Alright Zaeed Ive deleted all the vids. One thing though. How did no one in engineering hear you? 


Re:Re:Re: Security Cameras

Mind your own damn buisness.

#214
Grimwick

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Deltakarma wrote...

thesnake777 wrote...

To: Zaeed
From: Shepard
Subject: Secutry Cameras...

Listen Zaeed, we found some of the back logged surveillance footage of the Normandy..Um...really as a friend...You need to see someone about the relationship between you and "Jessie"...what you were doing...it....that...Just see someone.


RE: Security Camers

To: Shepard
From: Zaeed

Mind your own god damn buisness.


Fix'd :lol:

#215
Emerald Rift

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To: Alliance Command
From: Shepard
Subject: Where the hell is my money?!?!?!

It has come to my attention now that I have access to my bank account that I have swindled and left with a measly 20,000 credits. Give me back the 1,657,387 credits that is owed and you won't have a problem with me...or my claymore.

#216
BigEvil

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To: Alliance Command
From: Cmdr. Shepard
Subject: Retrofit Decisions

Having reviewed the status of the Normandy SR-2 retrofit as it stood at the Normandy's abrupt departure from Earth, I just have to ask, what brainless monkey did all this? If it was Mikhailovich just tell me, I promise I'll only maim him. I'm sure a stealth recon frigate would have no use for increased fuel reserves allowing it to travel further and remain active for longer. Totally useless in a situation where an enemy has destroyed fuel depots across much of the galaxy. I also noticed that you removed the tech lab and yet wasted a perfect room to replace it. I'm sure those boxes are of vital importance that they required blocking off the former armory so we could have a janitor's closet on the command deck. It's not like I run into scientists all the time who could be using a fully equipped lab to work on things while I transport them to the Citadel for transfer to that secret project that everyone openly talks about. I'm sure researching advancements to weapons and armour will be of no use to keeping allied forces alive while fighting the Reapers, after all, we can easily replace all our losses... oh, wait, no, that's the enemy.

#217
Erield

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To: Djao3897vhka
From: Space Hamster
Subject: dka;jofoigaqo

hapo8498 fh9av- 4jqpoifqpf q4 urapjdfsojaipofija9d8f7 28ur audfpoaijd flj4 quf af243 09u a0adf a[doif [ajdf

#218
George-Kinsill

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To: Citadel News Net
From: Commander Shepard

I happened to be walking around the Citadel and I heard my name referenced as the "disgraced Commander Shepard." I noticed how there was no mention as to the "savior of the galaxy thrice" Commander Shepard. While I know that news quality has degraded over the years, it really isn't a good idea to tarnish my name. I'm not sure if you know this, but I don't handle "disingenuous assertions" well. So, if you don't stop your biased news, you will be wishing that I the only counter measure I took was a libel law suit.

Yours truly,

The "not disgraced Commander Shepard who is saving the Galaxy for the fourth time" Commander Shepard

P.S. If you actually did some investigative reporting, you would know that the part about saving the Galaxy for the fourth time is not true. It's actually the fifth.

#219
Jenonax

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Joe Del Toro wrote...


Dear Commander Shepard,

I HAS A PHYSIX LOL UPSIDE DOWNS N SH*T

Sincerely,

The Mako


Dear Mako,

SUCK IT!

from, The Hammerhead

#220
Joe Del Toro

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Jenonax wrote...

Joe Del Toro wrote...


Dear Commander Shepard,

I HAS A PHYSIX LOL UPSIDE DOWNS N SH*T

Sincerely,

The Mako


Dear Mako,

SUCK IT!

from, The Hammerhead


Shortly after sending this, the Hammerhead died after tripping over a cow.

#221
Jenonax

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Joe Del Toro wrote...


Shortly after sending this, the Hammerhead died after tripping over a cow.


Up yours.

I'm not dead.  I'm just on fire:devil:

#222
GreyLycanTrope

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Dear Admiral Xen

I just shot a tube and save the damned galaxy, including your ass from certain destruction.

You're welcome.
Shepard's Pistol

#223
Joe Del Toro

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Greylycantrope wrote...

Dear Admiral Xen

I just shot a tube and save the damned galaxy, including your ass from certain destruction.

You're welcome.
Shepard's Pistol


Absolutely brilliant. Although if you believe IT, it's actually TWO pistols :blink:

#224
thesnake777

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Fwd To:Mako, Hammerhead.
From Alliance command
Subject: packages

Both of you need to stop sending each other bombs..we have lost two techs to your love feud. Keep it up and you both will be melted down into a single cube. Then you can work out your differences for all eternity.

#225
GreyLycanTrope

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Joe Del Toro wrote...

Greylycantrope wrote...

Dear Admiral Xen

I just shot a tube and save the damned galaxy, including your ass from certain destruction.

You're welcome.
Shepard's Pistol


Absolutely brilliant. Although if you believe IT, it's actually TWO pistols :blink:


Ironically enough jijeebo got them to admit they're wrong on that point in the weapon bob thread

Modifié par Greylycantrope, 08 juin 2012 - 11:07 .