83 réponses à ce sujet

[Maria Caliban]

Q: What do Fereldans call a syphilis outbreak?
A: Or-lesions

Q: Why do elves have knife-ears?
A: To go with the forked-tongue.

Q: What’s the difference between a Ferelden noble and a Mabari?
A: The Mabari occasionally gets a bath.

Q: What’s the difference between dwarven cuisine and bronto piles?
A: The dwarves don’t know either.

Q: How many Orlesian nobles does it take to change a candle?
A: One noble to order the candle changed, one servant to remove the old candle, three servants to bring a selection of new candles, five noble friends to pick the most fashionable color and scent, one bard to switch the candle for one with a less fashionable color and scent, five musicians to play for the candle lighting ceremony, two chefs to prepare food for the candle lighting ceremony, one sommelier to pick the best wine for candle lighting, five servants to serve the food and wine, and one servant to light the candle!


Okay, they're not that funny. 

I'd love to hear some Thedas based jokes from my fellow forumites.

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 12 décembre 2009 - 11:01 .

[Bryy_Miller]

Wow, these are all wonderful, but the build-up to the last one is what really makes it.

[Rinketsu]

lol I got a kick out of them

[Maria Caliban]

Can you think of any?

[Lucy Glitter]

Your face isn't funny!



Wait! This is a srs thread and I have no jokes for it!

[SardaukarElite]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Can you think of any?

Q)What do Qunari smiths make out of dragonbone?

A) Condoms.

[Malsumis]

SardaukarElite wrote...

Maria Caliban wrote...

Can you think of any?

Q)What do Qunari smiths make out of dragonbone?

A) Condoms.

So that's why there is so many Qunari running around.

[EricHVela]

An Elf wandered into the Market and approached one of several vendors at a large stand.

"May I look at that Iron stove?" she asked.

The vendor curtly replied "No."

"No? Why not?"

"Because you're an elf."

Not to be swayed by this, she left, let her hair down to cover her ears and return.

"May I look at that stove over there?" she asked a different vendor.

"We don't sell to no stupid elves."

In a huff, she left, sliced off the tops of her ears and returned to yet another vendor at the same stand.

"Please, let me look at that stove," she impored.

The third vendor snapped at her, "Go away, elf!"

Fairly upset, she demanded, "How do you know I'm a elf?"

"Because that's not a stove. It's a Dwarf soldier!"

[orpheus333]

Ok Ok



A Hurlock, A Genlock and an Elf walk into a bar?



The barkeep turns to the elf and says 'get out!'

[EricHVela]

A drunk Noble was accosting a duster in Dust Town. He berated the dusters intelligence and then challenged him to a battle of wits. The duster did his best to ignore the boast until the Noble offered him a sovereign to a silver odds. For every question the duster couldn't answer, the duster would have to give the Noble a silver. For every question the Noble didn't answer, he would give the duster a sovereign. In resignation, the duster agreed just to be done with it all as fast as possible.

The Noble started: "What is the distance to Kal-Sharok?"

The duster said nothing and handed a silver to the Noble. Then, the duster asked: "What has an extra leg only when it walks downhill?"

The Noble stopped at this. He did his best to clear his head to think about it and pondered for a long time. Finally, he grumbled and gave a sovereign to the duster. "So, what's the answer?"

The duster said nothing and gave a silver to the Noble.

[kevinwastaken]

Levi Dryden walks into a tavern, the tavernkeep says "Why the long face?"

[Happysin]

Q: What's the difference between a city elf and a chantry bench?

A: The bench can support a family.



Q: How do you insult a Qunari?

A: Very carefully.



A: If an honorable Ferelden Noble, a sober Dwarf, an archdemon, and a well-liked Elf all were fighting for the same Soveriegn, who would win?

Q: The Archdemon, all the rest are fictional characters.

[Decomposey]

Two dwarves walk out of a bar...

Hey, it could happen!

[Lucy Glitter]

Oh my gosh! How do you guys come up with these? They're brilliant!

[Jassper]

Decomposey wrote...

Two dwarves walk out of a bar...

Hey, it could happen!

HA!

[Bluto_Longneck]

Before we met Shale, she actually had a male golem companion standing next to her.



They stood there for ages looking at each other.



One day the Maker noticed them and felt pity and said: For one hour you will be alive, now go and do what you want to do.



Shale and her friend ran into the bushes, there was lots of noise and giggling and after 30 minutes they come out with happy grins on their faces.



The Maker says: You still have 30 minutes left, what do you want to do?



Shale: Ok buddy, this time I hold the pidgeon and you can crap on it!

[Arlana Tabris]

Lucy_Glitter wrote...

Oh my gosh! How do you guys come up with these? They're brilliant!

QFT

[DeathWyrmNexus]

Qunari are to cultural diversity what Isabella is to chastity.

[Anton de Staen]

Gotta love the elf jokes..

[JRCHOharry]

Whats funnier than swinging an elf around in a room?



Stopping him with a shovel.



Thank you! My names Arle Howe and im here all week!

[Zekebugs]

I'm still looking for that hidden end cut scene where Zevran and Leliana go into business together and make intimate clothing for the discriminating noble.

[EricHVela]

On a ship crossing the Northern Passage, a Qunari master shouted down to the oarsmen, "I've got some good news and some bad news! The good news is that we are doubling your rations for tonight!"

The oarsmen mumbled amongst themselves with approval.

"But... the bad news!" The chattering stopped immediately. "The captain's son wants to water ski!"

Modifié par ReggarBlane, 13 décembre 2009 - 05:02 .

[EricHVela]

Q: How do you keep an elf from drowning?

A: Take your foot off the back of his head.

[Trondesson]

ReggarBlane wrote...
...
Fairly upset, she demanded, "How do you know I'm a elf?"
"Because that's not a stove. It's a Dwarf soldier!"

[Rogue Roxy]

A human noble and a Dalish elf walk into a bar. The dwarf doesn't.



~ Roxy