83 réponses à ce sujet

[GN-Lelldorianx]

A Mabari, an Elf, and a Dwarf meet a Qunari. The Qunari says, "Who smells like wet dog?" to which the Dwarf and Elf reply, "Sorry."

[kevinwastaken]

How do you tell a dwarf gal from a bronto? When a bronto craps it doesn't grow into an adult dwarf.

[Foxd1e]

A drunk dwarf stumbled out of a bar looking for something hot and spicy to get his hands on if you know what I mean, he sees a sign that says Leg Here -> His interest piqued he heads off in the direction the sign points, his thoughts wrapping around a slender dwarven vixen or perhaps even a elven girl, he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. He sees another sign New Recruits Here -> Well that's me the dwarf thought, how nice of them to break in first timers. He wandered into a small unassuming building and the hottest female dwarf he's ever seen hands him some armor and says "Here put this on" the dwarf thinks to himself "Wait you want me to put more clothes on?!" she smiles and winks at him. He decided to play along, once he was finished she handed him a paper to sign. They go all out here! He thought, she turns to the drunk dwarf and says "What you've been looking for is right down the hall, slay them well good sir", the dwarf had a good chuckle at that "Oh I'll slay them alright" he smiled eagerly. He walked on through a set of big stone doors that slammed shut behind him and was never seen again.



Sometime later someone walked by the original sign gave it a quizzical look and rubbed at it, Legion of the Dead sign up Here ->

[Jassper]

Qunari Warrior: What are you doing with that huge pile of s***?

Boy: I'm Making a Human Warrior.

Qunari Warrior: But the Qunari are Superior in every way, why not make a Qunari Warrior?

Boy: Because I don't have enough s***.

Modifié par Jassper, 13 décembre 2009 - 08:07 .

[andybuiadh]

Cammen walks into a bar.



Bartender says 'Hey.'

Cammen says 'Sure.'

[Beerfish]

A Qunari walks into a bar says,

'The high balls are on me!'

Modifié par Beerfish, 13 décembre 2009 - 08:26 .

[Null]

Ok I got one.



Why did the Qunari cross the street?

[Locain]

A warden, a Templar and a Mage walks into a bar.

The bartender says: "Is this some sort of joke?"

[valleyman88]

Q: Why do dwarves have large noses?
A: Because they have large fingers.

Mueller86 wrote...

Ok I got one.

Why did the Qunari cross the street?

To convert the other side?

Modifié par valleyman88, 13 décembre 2009 - 09:56 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

A dwarf, a human Noble, a templar and a mage were all in a ship. The ship started to sink. The cpatin shouted: "we need to lose weigth, throw the invaluables"



The dwarf took his 3 sets of dwarven made armor and threw them off deck. "I have alot of these back home" he said.

The noble threw his shield and fine clothes. "I am rich, I can buy new ones back home".

The mage threw some staffs and tomes. "We have plenty of those back home".

The Templar stared at the mage, grapped him and threw him off deck. The dwarf and nobleman stared at the templar, surprised. "We have plenty of those back home"

[kevinwastaken]

Why was the human arrested for bedding a dwarf girl?



Bestiality is illegal in Ferelden.

[car07ms]

Q. How do you know if a dwarf is drunk?





That's a stupid question, cos a dwarf is ALWAYS drunk.

[kevinwastaken]

Q: What do you throw an elf who is drowning?



A: His wife and kids.

[Mummolus]

The best thing about this thread is all the jokes being racist in real-life but totally alright in Ferelden.



What does an elf-child get for Christmas?

Your present.



In the alienage an elf was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a human.

"He is so cute! Does he speak?" asks the human.

"I don’t know, I just bought him!" says the parrot



Why do decent humans shop at elf yard sales?

To get all their stuff back.

[ReubenLiew]

When the 2 dead elves arrived at the Golden Gates of the Black City, a Spirit went to the Maker an announced their arrival.

"My lord, shall I send them away?" asks the Spirit, but the Maker chastised the Spirit, and demanded they be allowed into his heaven.

A few minutes past, and the Spirit returned, his face flushed and confused. "My lord! They're gone!"

"You mean the elves?" asked the perplexed God.

"No, my lord! The Gates!"



Badum-pish. Racist jokes against fictional races ftw!

[037686]

How do you make a mabari drink?

Have an ogre throw a rock at it.






What's pink and hard around Leliana?


Schmooples in a Force Field.

Modifié par 037686, 14 décembre 2009 - 06:59 .

[kevinwastaken]

037686 wrote...

How do you make a mabari drink?

Have an ogre throw a rock at it.

Shaken or stirred?

CRUSHED!!!!

[Anton de Staen]

Q: What do you call a noble who moves to Orlais?

A: An arlesian.

[andybuiadh]

Anton de Staen wrote...

Q: What do you call a noble who moves to Orlais?
A: An arlesian.

Took me a minute to get, but it made me chuckle.

The other half gave me a funny look too.

[Enkara the Red]

Q: Why did Queen Anora cross the road?

A: She crosses everyone.

[Tirigon]

What is the difference between Orlesians and darkspawn?
Darkspawn are ugly BEFORE they buy the newest fashion in their country.


What is the difference between a Landsmeet debate and a battle?
In the battle you know before who is going to kill you.

Modifié par Tirigon, 27 décembre 2009 - 08:13 .

[mrofni]

Whats the difference between the Dalish and City elves?



In the city, they have to bring the dogs their meal. In the woods, they are the dog's meal.





Whats another difference between the Dalish and City elves?



In the city, they have to clean up after you rape them.

[Tirigon]

mrofni wrote...
Whats another difference between the Dalish and City elves?

In the city, they have to clean up after you rape them.

Alternatively, they borrow a sword and kill some of that noble scum, together with a little army of other human (but not noble) scum. Not funny, I know, but I had to defend those poor elves. You could make fun of humans for once.... they suck a lot more anyways. Though the elves suck better, of course.

[mrofni]

People were making fun of humans. At least Fereldens and Orlesians. I also like the elves a lot in this setting, just no one made jokes differencing between the elves, so I figured I had to. On the same lines, I bring you this joke.





Why do everyone in Antiva want to kill each other?



Because all their women have sand in their vagina.

[thegreateski]

These jokes are terrible.

Modifié par thegreateski, 27 décembre 2009 - 11:07 .