"Jungle World: Day 5"
0530 Hours -
The rainy night gives way to a early morning dawn, the remaining clouds a brilliant red glow in the sky and bird-analogs soaring in the morning breeze singing. The early light streams down out of the skylight and brightens the room below. Kaidan is sleeping curled up in a fetal position snoring softly, a picture of Shepard near his outstretched hand, suddenly his Omnitool alarm sounds pulling him out of his slumber. Kaidan groans and rolls out of bed heading for the restroom. Thinking to himself, “God, I could use a shower.” but he reminds himself that water rationing prohibits that luxury.
Inside the Main Gunnery, Garrus’ arm is wrapped around Tali as they spoon on his makeshift hammock, both their Omnitool alarms light up and begin to buzz simultaneously. The alarm startles Tali from her sleep and she hits the snooze command. In a groggy voice Tali states, “Just ten more minutes. I’m not ready to get up yet.” Garrus chuckles as he shuts off his alarm and climbs out of bed. Grabbing his clothes he starts getting dressed as Tali continues to snooze. What passes as a Turian smile spreads on his face as he recalls their night together. Pulling on his shirt as he walks out of the room, heading for the bathroom. Sounds of other crew members rousing from sleep echoing down the hallway.
0630 Hours -
The scent of breakfast fills the Crew Deck as more of the crew follow their noses into the mess area to eat. Breakfast is the most tasty meal as rationing is, at least for now, less restricted for this meal. James’ scouting parties have collected a assortment of local fruits. One, a dark purple fruit, that is shaped like an Earth banana, when added to hot oatmeal gives a similar taste and aroma to cinnamon apples. Naturally, it is one of the most popular choices of the crew.
Garrus observes Kaidan climbing down from the CIC Deck, the bags under his eyes looking even more pronounced today. Liara and Garrus share a look of concern for the Major.
James looks up from his plate noticing the Major picking over the fruit bowl, “Hey Major, do you think Adam’s will ever get on that Elevator repair? My arms are getting tired from all the climbing.” In his best joking voice and smiles and giggles fill the room. With equal numbers laughing at James --for making such a lame joke-- as are those that are laughing with the joke.
Kaidan, with a scowl, opens his mouth to reply but Liara is quicker, “James, you know the shaft is warped and cannot be repaired.” In her calm measured voice.
“Vega should be an expert on warped shafts.” Cortez interjects. The Human part of the crew getting the joke immediately increases the laughter filling the room. Spending enough time with Shepard and other Humans, Garrus joins in with his metallic laugh without missing a beat.
“Not nearly the expert on shafts as you are Esteban.” James fires back quickly. Liara and Tali take a moment but begin to giggle once they catch on to the joke.
The laughter continues to roll as Kaidan approaches the table, a scowl never leaving his face, “All right settle down.” His voice a bit too harsh and the laughter dies quickly. As he sits, he reminds himself that even though he’s not in the mood, banter like this is good for crew morale. “They need this Alenko. Calm down.” He scolds himself. Continuing in a neutral tone, “We’ve got a big day ahead of us and hopefully a hot shower to look forward to tonight, if we get the solar arrays online today.” Agreement to that last sentiment circles the table. It’s been days since water rationing was put into effect, the pre-packaged bath-cloths just don’t clean as well as a good hot shower.
“Finally! Everyone is starting to smell a bit ripe.” States Joker as he walks out of the MedBay with Dr. Chakwas on his tail. “I was going to have to start holding my breath soon.” Joker heard the laughter just a few moments ago but missed the shift in mood. Smiles greet him but only a few slight giggles. Taking note of Kaidan’s look he sheepishly adds, “Sorry, Major. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” There is still a cast on Joker’s leg and wrapping across his chest.
Scolding himself again for killing the jovial mood, “It’s OK Joker. We’ve just got a busy day.” Kaidan adds in the best nonchalant tone he can manage. Activating his Omnitool to open his note file, “Well, lets be about it shall we?” Kaidan looks around the table with a forced smile, finding everyone is attentive, he returning to his notes, “Looks like Westmoreland and Campbell are up to gather more fruit and checking traps, I may join you two today, I could use the fresh air. Next, James & Javik will be finishing up the perimeter setup. Engineering is, of course, setting up the solar collector. Cortez & Garrus, are you two still on for the Paste Factory setup today?”
Steve and Garrus start simultaneously, “We’re good to go...” They both look at eachother then start again, “Go ahead....” Everyone begins to laugh at the exchange. Finally Steve holds up a forefinger to Garrus, “I’m good to go Major, but if you need me on something else instead...”
The exchange put a genuine smile on Kaidan’s face, “No, it’s fine we’ll need the Paste Factories setup soon since the initial batch takes months.” Checking his Omnitool again, “Finally, Samatha and Tali are continuing work on our QEC.” Looking over at the Quarian, “How is it going Tali?”
Tali also starts her Omnitool, a small hologram of the QEC device hovering in the air, “The QEC core system checks are complete. The entangled particles are stable, so we know the other half of the entanglement still exists,” As she talks each part she mentions highlights. “Which means the Crucible didn’t destroy Hackett’s ship. We still need to fix the communications equipment and timing circuits.” Tali notices many eyes around the table glazing over, “If you want more details Major, we can discuss it later without boring the rest of the crew.”
Kaidan was willing to leave the technical details to Tali and Samantha, “That sounds fine Tali I’d rather you focus on repair for now.” Looking around the table most everyone had completed their breakfast, “If there’s nothing else then let’s get this day started.”
As the room begins to clear, Liara speaks up, “Major, I’d like a moment of your time if you have a minute.” Kaidan nods agreement as he re-fills his coffee cup before heading to Liara’s office.
Joker swallows a bite of food and waves Kaidan over, “Major, can you put repairing the Nav Comp onto the schedule? We’ll need it to help locate where we crashed and the dorsal sensors will also need a clear view of the sky to lock onto pulsars.” Joker adds, “If I had EDI back I could do more for the crew too.”
Kaidan’s eyes go hard, “I’ll talk to Adam’s about it later.” Kaidan prevents himself from saying, “But your girlfriend can wait!” However, Kaidan’s tone of voice made it clear to Joker.
“Look, EDI can help us if we can get her back online. You know that Major.” Joker knows he’s touched a nerve and that Kaidan is hurting. He can relate as he also lost his father and sister in the war, “Yes, I want her back for personal reasons too, but that isn’t my primary reason Major.”
Kaidan’s look softens, He knows it’s not fair for him to take out his anger on Joker, and damn-him, he was right too, “I’ll ask about the Nav-Comp... and EDI.” He notices Dr. Chakwas and Cortez talking together and both look at him in concert. Asking himself, “I wonder what they’re plotting?” as he approaches Liara’s office and find the door is ajar.
“Please come in Major,” Greets Glyph. “Dr. T’Soni has almost completed a project she’d like to show you.” The VI assistant continues as it flies farther into the office to a workbench Liara is working over.
“So, Liara, any withdrawals from losing all your data feeds?” Kaidan asks casually as he passes the dead wall of data displays. He notices she’s working on three of the time capsule units. Curious why she’d be working on them now that the war is over, “More time capsules, eh?”
“As you know we were planting these time-capsules around the galaxy for the next cycle, just-in-case the worst happened. Admiral Hackett even had copies on many other ships with the same orders.” Activating the power button on one of the capsules, while it starts up, Liara turns around to look into the Major’s eyes, “We had ten remaining time-capsules aboard the Normandy when we crashed. They have a simple VI and a limited movement range of 10 to 12 meters from the capsule.” Turning back to the time capsule, “Glyph and I changed the programming of these two to help the scouting parties.”
The time capsule finishes powering up and out of the top of the unit appeared a smaller version of Glyph who spun on its axis before coming to rest at eye level to Kaidan and Liara, “Good morning. This unit is ready.” Came a electronic voice out of the capsule panel.
Kaidan looks Liara, “10 to 12 meter range? How does this help with the scouting parties Liara?” He notices the straps on the capsule, “Ah, nevermind, you’re thinking of making them a backpack.”
Liara nods, “Precisely, Mini here can, oh we gave it a name, just temporary of course.” Liara stammers as she picks up a tool unconsciously, “Anyway, the holographic camera can give the scouts an aerial view. Plus the other scanners and sensors in infrared, x-ray, and other wavelengths. The new VI is still rough and I’m working on another to act as a sentry for the perimeter.” Liara points to the third capsule, its top panel removed, “No weapons or anything, of course, but it can monitor for movement and alert the crew if an animal, or other threat, has breached the perimeter.”
“That’s great Liara, is the first one ready? I can take it for a spin with today’s group.” Kaidan reaches for the first capsule with the straps.
“Not yet Major, perhaps tomorrow.” She returns the tool to the bench and returns to face Kaidan, “I actually had an ulterior motive in asking to speak to you.”
Kadians crosses his arms and tilts his head, “Ok, hit me.” In a flat monotone.
Liara begins in a soft tone, “Major, it’s been six days and we’ve all noticed you aren’t sleeping or eating well...”
“It’s been five days.” Kadian corrects rather abruptly. Taking a calming pause, “Sorry. You are right, I haven’t been sleeping well and I haven’t had much appetite either, but I’m fine. We... I, need to keep focused, to keep everyone here safe, to protect them. It’s what Shepard would have done and it’s what he’d want me to do.” Kaidan stammers fighting his emotions.
Holding back tears, Kaidan tries to turn away but Liara places a hand on his shoulder, “We all miss him Kaidan. He was a great friend and leader, but he wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Liara’s tone is soft and gentle, “Have you considered adding Shepard’s name to the Memorial Wall?”
Kaidan had not considered it, “We don’t know for sure. He could have somehow made it off the Citadel...” As his throat closes up he turns so Liara doesn’t see his tears.
“Oh Kaidan.” Liara is at a loss for words. “I know it’s not easy, you know how I lost my Mother, and I’m sure your pain is many times worse right now. Holding all that pain inside is not healthy.” She knows if there was any way to survive the Citadel, Shepard would have found it, but she can not believe even Shepard could have survived. She can see Kaidan isn’t ready to accept.
Clearing his throat and wiping tears from his red eyes Kaidan turns back to look at Liara, “I’ve been carrying this since we crashed.” From his shirt pocket he pulls out a small picture of Shepard, the edges starting to fray and curl. “Maybe.. Maybe, we could put the picture next to his name?” Kaidan wasn’t exactly sure who he was asking.
Liara also starting to tear up, looks up at the Major, “That’s a good idea Kaidan...”
Liara is interrupted by Kaidan’s Omnitool communicator, “Major we’ve got a small problem outside on the roof.” Ken’s Scottish dialect is sometimes hard for Kaidan to understand but he really has grown to like the man. Kaidan takes a moment to assemble himself, “I’ll be right out Ken.” Looking up he sees Liara wiping her face too. On his way out the door, “Guess that scouting trip will have to go without my services today. Thanks Liara, maybe, maybe tonight after dinner.”
0715 Hours -
Outside the Normandy the sun is rising, the solar heat turning the dew into vapor. Garrus walks out of the hatch with the last of the boxes for the Paste Factory. Steve isn’t sure why Garrus insisted they assemble the first part of the Factory outside on the Normandy’s wing but wasn’t going to argue. Surrounded by more boxes, He continues to skim over the assembly instructions. Smiling as he turns a page in the manual, “This reminds me of making home-made beer with my dad. More complex of course, but some similarities.”
Garrus sets down the box and looks over at Cortez, “Really? I heard it was like making something called sourdough bread. Something about having to grow a ‘Mother dough’ which is why the startup takes so long.”
Turning off the data-pad and setting it down to help Garrus open the boxes, “Perhaps. I’ll admit it’s much more complex than the small batches of beer I helped my dad make.” Changing subjects, “Tell me again, why we’re doing this outside?”
Garrus looks out at the beautiful morning and stretches his arms wide turning back-and-forth, “This is why.” As he turns to look at Steve, “That, and Tali tells me the initial setup can be, how’d she put it, ‘Smelly’ until the first growth tank is sealed at least.” With a chuckle Steve agrees. Garrus’ eyes Steve and with a serious tone, “So lieutenant, can I ask you something... personal?”
Steve stops unpacking the box he was working with and turns to look at Garrus, “This sounds serious.” Taking a moment, he stands up to face Garrus, “Sure go ahead.”
Garrus looks at Steve for a moment constructing his thoughts, “I’ve spent enough time around Humans to catch on to your courting, subtleties. I could tell you and Shepard got close, did you two ever...”
Cortez holds up both hands, “Let me stop you right there Garrus.” His voice a little more firm than intended. “I’ll admit I cared for Shepard, he helped me through some dark days. For that he’ll always have a special place in my heart.” Scratching his head absentmindedly, he contemplates, “By the time I was ready, the Commander had already rekindled his relationship with Kaidan. I was happy for them, maybe a little jealous of Kaidan, but happy for them. But, yeah, Garrus if the Major hadn’t been around, I could've seen myself with Shepard.”
Neither noticed Kaidan had walked out of the hatch and was on his way toward the ladder to the roof. Steve goes a little red hoping that Kaidan didn’t overhear, but before either of them can say anything they hear Ken and Gabby getting into a argument on the roof. Kaidan continues up the ladder like he didn’t hear Steve.
“Kenneth, you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t slow down.” Gabby’s voice is a mix of anger and worry. “Go get something to clean that connection port before you short it out and kill yourself.”
Kaidan is just clearing the ladder and looks at the two engineers. He’s never seen Gabby so upset before, her face is slightly flushed, “Am I intruding?” Shepard told him about the time he found them in the subdeck, and both him and Shepard thought it was funny they weren’t the only ones “sneaking” around. Thinking to himself, “They do make a cute couple, when they aren’t fighting.”
Gabby turns to Kaidan, “Major, the rain last night got into some of the power coupling ports for the solar array. Luckily no damage, but we need to dry the connections before we power on the array. Kenneth wanted to test the array first but that could cause an electrical arc that could hurt or kill someone.”
Ken rolls his eyes, “It’s not that bad. Gabby is just doom-and-gloom about a little rain.”
Kaidan doesn’t want to get into the middle of a couple's quarrel but has little choice now, “Look, you both know we have what, about 12% left on our batteries.” Looking at both of them with his best I’m-the-boss-look, “We can’t afford any setbacks on this array. Get it done, but do it right and do it safe.” Walking over to one of the ports in question he kneels down to get a better look, “Now, what will it take to keep water from getting in here once the array is online?”
Gabby kneels next to Kaidan. “We have a sealant we can use on the hatch ports.” She points to the cover next to her. “But it requires the the surface to be dry and clean first. Isn’t that right Kenneth?”
“Ok, ok, I can tell when I’m outnumbered.” Ken says with a sigh while Kaidan and Gabby share a small smile. Kaidan begins to ask Gabby more questions about the solar array as Ken climbs down the ladder.
1030 Hours -
Still working on the Normandy’s wing, Garrus and Steve have most of the Paste Factory assembled. The initial growth tank is unpacked and Garrus is filling it with water. Steve is pouring in a package that looks like a bunch of small rocks, “Hmph. Says here this is Calcium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Potassium, Iron, and other minerals.”
Garrus shuts off the water and begins looking at the data-pad again, “Tali says Paste Factories produce a liquid that, how did she put it? Ah yes, ‘Contains all the protein, vitamins and carbs of a full meal in a glass of sludge’. Wait, she said it was a ‘thick shake’ I called it ‘Sludge’.” Steve and Garrus chuckle together. “Ok, now add that last package so we can turn on this tank.”
Steve retrieves the package and pours in the powdery substance. Recalling what he read earlier, “According to the documentation. The, uh, ‘sludge’ can also be dried into a solid much like Tofu.” Garrus just nods and Steve wonders aloud, “What’s in this powder?”
Referencing the data-pad, Garrus reads aloud, “This package is the enzymes and yeasts that will break down the minerals. The resultant fluids are used as feed stock for the stage-two process.” Steve and Garrus share a look then Steve shakes his shoulders. “My thoughts exactly.” States Garrus. They continue to follow the assembly instructions.
In the QEC room Tali is working with the Repair Module in the corner of the room. “Bosh'tet! This module is out of calibration.” Tali stats without thinking.
Traynor smiles, “Too bad Garrus isn’t in here to Calibrate it for you.” As they both break into a giggle.
“I can fix it.” Tali looks over at Samantha, “How’s the diagnostic on the timing array coming?”
“This one is FUBAR, it’ll have to be replaced. I’m starting the test on the secondary unit now.” Traynor looks over the assembled QEC equipment. “With just the solar array we can’t power the holo tank but audio only should work fine.”
Tali quickly pulls her hand away from the repair module, “Keelah!” Examining her hand she quickly applies a patch. Traynor looks over with concern but Tali simply states, “I’m fine, just got my finger caught on a sharp edge. Now let me see that timing unit, maybe we can repair it....” Tali and Traynor continue to work on the QEC.
1900 Hours -
The sounds of the shower cease, and a few moments later Kaidan steps out of the bathroom into Shepard’s quarters with a towel wrapped around his waist. Walking over to his foot locker he pulls out his mess uniform thankful that it survived the crash.
While getting dressed he remembers the last time he wore this uniform; It was at his Spectre ceremony. Shepard never liked pomp and circumstance but Kaidan still wanted Shepard to attend but Udina overruled and pushed the ceremony ahead. Thinking about it now, he could see many signs of Udina’s dirty dealing clearly, the traitorous bastard. Why didn’t he see them then? Remembering something Shepard told him once, “Hindsight is 20/20 Kaidan.” Now he understands. Kaidan, finished dressing, looks himself in the mirror and adjusts his uniform slightly. Taking a deep breath he turns to go out the door with his back straight heading for the Crew Deck.
Several minutes later, he’s standing in front of the Memorial Wall on the Crew Deck. He pulls Shepard’s picture from his pocket, tapes the picture and a hand-written name tag to the wall before stepping back and saluting the picture. Behind him the crew is also saluting. After a pause Kaidan turns to them, “Tonight we gather to remember Commander Shepard, Spectre, Leader, Marine, and Hero. I don’t know how he did it, and maybe I never will, but Shepard has saved each and every one of us from the Reapers. He saved the entire galaxy giving us all a future he couldn’t. For that, the galaxy is a smaller place without him.” Kaidan’s throat closes up as he turns to look at the wall, holding up a hand to Ashley’s name he continues, “Shepard once told me about a time he talked with Ash about Tennyson on the SR1.” Turning back to the crew, “I know, too look at him you wouldn’t think it, but he really liked Ulysses and I feel a little reading would be fitting:
“Though we are not now that strength which in old days moved Earth and heaven; That which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
Taking a moment to get his voice under control again, “I know we all have memories to share and I’ve been told that Garrus and Tali have setup something in the Conference Room upstairs for everyone. I’ll see you all up there in a moment. Thank you.”
Everyone starts to break up and climb up to the CIC Deck. Kaidan turns back to the wall placing a hand next to Shepard’s picture. “I love you Alan. I, I miss you so much.” Letting the tears fall freely while remembering their time together; The shy flirting on the SR1, the night before Ilos, the lunch date on the Citadel, and more. As the room grows quieter, he can hear someone nearby. Wiping his eyes and clearing his throat he turns to see Cortez standing back a distance waiting.
Cortez can see Kaidan’s bloodshot eyes clearly and his heart goes out to the Major. In a quiet compassionate tone, “I wanted you to know how special the Commander was to me too. I don’t know if the Commander told you, but I lost my husband on Ferris Fields about a year ago.” Kaidan shakes his head yes, “So, you know I’ve been where you are. It’s not easy and it hurts like hell.” Steve steps closer to Kaidan and puts a hand on his shoulder, “You’re not alone in this Sir. Shepard was there for me when I needed someone, I know he’d want me to help you now.”
Kaidan heard what Steve said this morning to Garrus, but decides now isn’t the time to confront Cortez. Looking back at the wall, “You know, I keep dreaming he’s still alive. That he somehow made it out alive and is on Earth waiting for me.” Taking a deep shaky breath, “But, but then wouldn’t that be worse? I’m mean, he’d be going through the same hell I am; The uncertainty, the worrying, the pain of being alone. I just want him back.” Blowing his nose into a tissue, “Steve, five me some time alone. Please.”
Cortez expression softens, “Come up when you feel like it, Sir.” Cortez turns to walk towards the ladder leading to the CIC level.
2015 Hours -
As Kaidan approaches the Conference Room, he immediately notes the group of people gathering around the conference table looking at a Hologram of Shepard. Many were sitting on the floor, others have pulled some chairs or boxes to use as seats, and one was sitting on the edge of the table. Kaidan started at the holo, after a few moments he looked away, his head filling with memories of the commander.
Garrus noticed Kaidan from across the room. "Kaidan, come here" Immediately all eyes turn to Kaidan. Garrus holds up the cup in his hand, "Come have a drink. We were just talking about the Commander."
"Well, that's pretty obvious, huh?" James interrupted pointing at the hologram. Most of the people laughed, others just gave a smirk, while Kaidan remained silent.
"Here" Samantha stood up "Have a seat, since no one else seems to giving up on their seats, I'll just sit on the floor" She smiles while Kaidan sits down, tears stinging his eyes as he contemplates his dead lover's face while the rest of the group continues talking.
Dr. Chakwas pulls her chair next to Kaidan's and leaned over to the Major's ear "I think this will suit you just fine, Kaidan." She whispers "It’ll help you to relax" As she pours Kaidan a class of wine. She leans back, taking a sip at her own glass of wine.
Kaidan remained silent, exploring the crowded room with his eyes. Liara was sitting next to Javik, probably talking about the odds of fixing the QEC, Garrus had his left arm wrapped around Tali while holding a glass of dextro-brandy and Tali was drinking as well. “Tali, how are you drinking?” Kaidan asks the Quarian
Tali’s speech is already slurred, “Ahh see… I use this Emergency Induction Port to draw up the liquids.” Tali turns to show Kaidan the port connection to her suit but stumbles and Garrus catches her with his free arm and sits her back down. “Shepard once told me that… hic… It’s called a ‘straw’ but I like Emergency Induction m’Port better... hic...”
A smirk came to Kaidan’s mouth as the Quarian finishes the sentence. He raises his glass of wine to Tali in a toast.
“Alright!” Garrus says loudly, obviously he’s also had plenty to drink. “Since we’re all gathered here now, I shall say a few words about the Commander” The crowded room grows silent. Anxiously waiting for the Turian to give his speech. Kaidan returns his gaze to the hologram, a sudden knot begins to take form in the Major’s chest as Garrus starts his speech.
“Shepard was one hell of a soldier, we all know that, He never gave up, He made the impossible happen and not in just a single occasion.” Kaidan fights to keep control of his emotions as Garrus carries on, “But this time he pulled off a big one, the biggest one ever!! In London we promised each other that if one of us didn’t make it, we’d save a seat at the bar in Heaven for the other.” The Turian looks up toward the ceiling, “I know you’re raising hell up there Shepard, just remember to save me that seat.” After a few moments he sits down as Tali beings to stand up.
Tali nearly stumbles again and Garrus reaches to help, “I can do this on my own, you know?” She says in her slurring voice, ”May I propose a little toast?.. hic.. For all the friends that we have lost, for every name written on that wall, for every memory we can’t face, and for all the decisions that have hurt the most. Remember the fallen for they live on within each of us.”
Everyone in the room is remembering all the people that they’ve lost over the course of the Reaper War. Most everyone has tears in their eyes and many quiet sobs can be heard. Kaidan’s face is covered in tears again, he can’t hold them back anymore, the knot in his chest growing into sobs. Dr Chakwas leans over to him and puts her arm around him in a hug, “You’re not alone in this, Kaidan. We’re all here for you.”
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