This thread represents Kai Leng fight scene support, and my theory about the scene. The theory consists of two parts: Images and other bullsh*t. Images show words. FAQ shows questions and my best attempts to avoid actually answering the questions.
NOTE
FAQ part of the theory may be rejuvenated, because the voices in my head may ask me more questions.
IMAGES
FAQ
Q: Why does Kai Leng possess the black magic?
A: Because Bioware likes making characters in their games that look like Final Fantasy characters and have inexplicable magical powers. Kai Leng could be like Fenris.
Q: But I can use my gun for Melee attack fun time! What gives?
A: Primary power of gun is shoot from ranged position, almost all gun factory owners could tell you the same.
Q: Bioware just wanted to make cool fight scene?
A: No, your opinion is wrong. The scene is supposed to show us the wonders of magic. It depicts a future where guns are made ineffectual by superior sorcery powers. That was the overall theme of the series (biotics) and I could not imagine Mass Effect without that.
Q: Hey old chap, what is the deal with Kai Leng's conditional status? He a jedi or something?
A: I am ecstaticalously joyous you ask question comrade! In fact, I believe Kai Leng could fit perfect into Star Wars prequels!
Q: Word on the street is Kai Leng is cereal killer? That makes him bad human being?!?!
A: That was no more than outlandish Deception by Sir William C. Dietz! Kai Leng honorable magician without cereal problems! All rumors of comrade Leng's cereal affairs could be falsified to ruinate his wizard career!
Q: But why Kai Leng exist? Did the papa Leng impregnate the mama Leng?
A: That may be reasonable assumption of how procreational matters usually go, but keep in mind that he could have been created by the Reapers as a half-synthetic being to show us the errors of our ways!
Q: Does the Kai Leng wizadman always enjoy vandalism or is it only during the boss battle in TIM's room?
A: Clearly, you have not paid attention! The Kai Leng in that scene is obviously a different Kai Leng than in the fight scene against dying frog-man Thane Krios, as you can shoot gun while Kai Leng is in the screen rashly! That Kai Leng is a darker Kai Leng who was corrupted by Shepard's human faults and lost all will to stop guns from being ineffectual towards their killing purposes, thus losing all of his personality!
Q: Would Kai Leng work as wondrous Synthesis idol just like Mr. Anderson and the Illusion Mannequin?!
A: Maybe that could be why Bioware wanted to make Synthesis the best option! Everybody could become formidable warlock with power to stop guns from killing others!
Q: My cat bears stunning resemblance to the Kai Leng's face! Surely this is a sign of the end times, or...?
A: We cannot be sure whether this cat actually possesses same Kai Leng magical sorceries! Even if it does not stop guns from shooting doesn't mean it couldn't have that power in secret and not want to share it with you because you are a mean, evil-spirited person.
Q: But why does the prideful Kai Leng obey The Drinking And Cigar Smoking Man?
A: This is Bioware's genius attemptations at heart-wrenching tragedy! The whole game the player wishes for Kai Leng to stick up to the Man, but in the end he dies by hand of treacherous Shepard-Commander! The only way this tragedy could be more perfect would be by Dios Ex Machinarium!
Q: Is the toothbrush Kai Leng's weaponry of choice?
A: If I was wizard in space with power to stop guns that would definitely be my weapon of choice, yes.
Q: What kind of heavenly creature could possibly take on the role of Kai Leng's barber?!
A: What kind of commoner talk is this! You dishonor the wizard Leng with such uncourtful badmouthery! How dare you lay your eyes on the perfect simulacrum that is the magus Leng's headdress! You, sir, you are truly blight!
Q: This Seival personality is the same person as the godly Kai Leng figure, yes or no?
A: While that is a perfectlious logical assumption to make. Thus far, each display of witchcraft Seival showed paled in comparison to the Grand Enchanter Leng's level of wizardry!
Q: But how could the theurgist Kai Leng's unbelievable magic powers fail him at the end when he was killed by the Shepard character?
A: That was his destiny all along as he is secretly the almighty Space Jesus born by virginal mother Sovereign.
Q: This email from Kai Leng has strange subject heading and sender!
A: If you received magical mail from the extraordinary Leng, you must disregard everything else and follow his orders or the world as we know it will end. Trust me on this matter, I have made same mistake in the past.
Q: Was Mr. Anderson born in London?
A: I am not sure.
Q: How many Kai Leng beings would one require to change light bulb?
A: Exactly 3.2. I've conducted tests on a variety of different light bulbs and that's what it always came down to.
Q: Kai Leng is the man on the moon!
A: That is not a question.
Q: Kai Leng vs Chuck Norris. Go.
A: Person listening to reason would most likely bet all his horses on the Leng man to win this contest.
Q: Kai Leng can run like a leopard, but can never be better than Commander Shepard?!
A: Comrade, have you ever seen leopard fight shepherd? The leopard emerges triumphant in 9 out of 11 cases (in other two cases leopard was drunk from too much vodka).
Q: Did Kai Leng have sexy fun time with the smoking hot Rachni queen?
A: I believe we can safely assumption that every being in the universe will eventually be impregnated by conjurer Leng's magical manhood since not one being of the female variety could resist his theurgical charms. Synthesis only accelerators that process. Why not? Kai Leng already part of you. Can you imagine life without him?!
Q: Kai Leng could actually be The Elusive Male Person's boss in secret?
A: That could be true, why not.
Q: Kai Leng wondrous inventor of the Protheans?
A: Нет, can't be. That Javik Brothean was a total meanie head to me all day long.
Q: Miranda call Kai Leng "flippery flip flop Basterd"! She butthurt?!?!
A: That foolish Australian Miranda woman could not handle the magical Leng so she has to switch to petty insults. Typical for genetically created Australian women.
Q: Mr. Anderson mortally wound Leg's lengs!
A: Opponents shoot me in legs all the time and you don't see me ululating about it.
Q: I notice striking similarities between Leng's and Morlan's (from Morlan's super special shop) physiology! They brothers?
A: None of my братаны look any similar to me, so we can safely throw this assumption out the airlock!
A: Now I am the one asking question. Why does the magic Leng have less screen time than the Shepard-traitor?
Q: Because Leng's magical ability to stop guns from shooting while in picture must be reserved! The humanity is not ready for the full Lengness yet!
Q: What kind of connections are there between Kai Leng's wondrous skills and the inevitable testing of Mass Relays?
A: Both theory work perfectly ok together. In fact, it is just as reasonable to say that sorcerer Leng was testing the Mass Relays himself as that the fully-staffed Normandy (including James and Javik) was testing Mass Relays.
Q: The Kai Leng name coincidentally spelled "King Leia", "Leaking" and "Murderface"? What is the meaning of this anomaly??! I am flabbergast right now!!!
A: I did my math and am sure only one of these three are appropriate anagram. No need to worry!
Q: You surely be smoking teh toxic substances?!
A: What this accusations?! All of this questions and answers only from my human creativity! You dishonor me and my family I challenge you to the knightly drinking contest!!!
Q: We all know legerdemainist Leng's anti-bullet magic is well and awe-inspiring, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast crunch?!
A: Again with the cereals?! For last time, that cereal affair happened just the one time so it's not the cereal behavior!!!!
Q: This thread the black-hearted parody of honorable comrade Seival's thread?!
A: It's k! We all know comrade Seival likes the mocking of other's ideas, so he must be able to take this like the cool gangster boy!
Q: Vases????
A: This be haunting poor mage Leng for eternity?! Honorable illusionist Leng only best intentions in mind when urinating the vases. The urin of Leng could be like the fluid magical fertiliser! It makes plants grow out of nowhere!!
Q: Does captivator Leng feature the integrity of artist?
A: He's more artist and more integrity than you'll ever be!! He upright integrity artist of the magic, alright?!
Q: Do the Leng's magical eyes fire the lazers?
A: I know like 8 persons who can do that, no big deal.
Modifié par Sauruz, 19 juin 2012 - 05:38 .
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