If anyone has the same problem, i did find the solution in the following post somewhere else on the forum.
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Ok, just went about doing this. Used the table from
http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=zv8mxcxs and took a look at a few saves (was changing from Miranda to Ashley).
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I HAVE NOT THOROUGHLY TESTED THIS - so far it's appears to be working for me (ME3's importer is showing the new/modified romance), but I literally just finished doing this so there might be a hiccup of sorts I run into later. YMMV.
BACK UP YOUR EXISTING SAVES FIRST!!!
EVEN IF EVERYTHING APPEARS TO WORK, THERE'S ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY SOMETHING WAS MISSED WHICH COULD CRASH A DLC IN THE FUTURE OR SOMETHING.
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Start by going to the Raw tab, then Plot, ME2 Plot Table, BoolVariables. Click the (...) that shows up.
Here are the relevant ME2 entries:
5209 = MirandaRomanced (set to true to romance, otherwise set to false)
5208 = JackRomanced (set to true to romance, otherwise set to false)
3926 = TaliRomanced (set to true to romance, otherwise set to false)
3892 = JacobRomanced ((set to true to romance, otherwise set to false)
5206 = ThaneRomanced (set to true to romance, otherwise set to false)
5207 = GarrusRomanced ((set to true to romance, otherwise set to false)
So as an example, if you WERE in an ME2 romance with Tali and wanted to change it to Jack, you would change 3926 to FALSE and change 5208 to TRUE.
Liara is more tricky by the looks of things (lair of the shadow broker stuff). To turn her romance on according to the pastebin table, you'd have to set all the following to true:
6927,6931,6815,7051,7035,7151 AND you'd have to enable her ME1 romance flag (14169). Then to make Liarra even more complicated, you'd have to set the following ME1 flags to false:
14281,13960
Basically if you're mucking with Liarra, I'd assume it would be quickest to try using the GUI to change all her ME1 stuff, and then just worry about the 4-digit entries for ME2.
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But not done yet! DID YOU BREAK ANY HEARTS?
3304 = MirandaBreakup (set to true to break up, false otherwise)
3270 = JackBreakup (set to true to break up, false otherwise)
3307 = TaliBreakup (set to true to break up, false otherwise)
3472 = JacobBreakup (set to true to break up, false otherwise)
3310 = ThaneBreakup (set to true to break up, false otherwise)
3660 = GarrusBreakup (set to true to break up, false otherwise)
Remember, if you previously broke up with somebody (who you're now modding to be in a romance with), you'll want to change their break-up to false. I didn't have break-ups but I checked this section anyway to be sure.
I don't know if one exists for Liara (there's a "lets be friends" dialogue in ME2's shadow broker if i remember right but don't know if it counts as a breakup).
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STILL NOT DONE!
Finally, you have to adjust what I assume is either your relationship level, or the depth to which you pursued your conversations.
You will find this in the INT section of the editor, basically:
Raw tab, then Plot, ME2 Plot Table, IntVariables
266 = Miranda (5 for romancing, details below)
213 = Jack (5 for romancing, details below)
272 = Tali (5 for romancing, details below)
267 = Jacob (5 for romancing, details below)
271 = Thane (5 for romancing, details below)
270 = Garrus (5 for romancing, details below)
As to the value,
5 = Romancing
6 = Break-up (according to the table, though this is inconsistant)
1,2,3,4 = ???
As an example, if you WERE romancing Tali and want to change it to Jack, you would change 272 (to something OTHER than 5... changing to 6 is probably a safe bet) and change 213 (to 5 to enable Jacks romance).
A few details here.... checked my own saves as well as some others. Numbers are very inconsistent, except that ROMANCING = 5. My own saves generally have non-romanced characters at either 4 or 6. I don't think 6 is limited to breakups, because both Garrus and Thane (same-sex) companions are at 6 and obviously since I couldn't romance them anyway, I couldn't have broken up with them.
Looking at other saves, it was very common to find lower numbers on non-romanced companions (1-3). My gut feeling is that the number has to do with how far your conversations with them went or something similar, with the exception being that 5 is reserved for who you're romancing.
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FOR GOOD MEASURE
Under Raw / Other / Streaming, click the dots (...)
You *might* have entries here called stuff like:
stream_cabinKelly = False
stream_cabinTali = False
stream_cabinMiranda = True
...etc
I'm assuming this is the trigger for whether you get "naughty-time" with the person you romanced right before the suicide mission (in the above case, with Miranda). I highly doubt that ME3 looks at or cares about this since it's in the StreamingState section (kinda a temp section of sorts I think), but you might want to make changes here before importing anyway as a precaution.
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UNKNOWNS/NOTES
The pastebin table (linked at the top) mentions "PlotCond" as well, which I'm assuming are plot conditions. I have no idea where these are found, or how to edit them, or if it matters. Not using these didn't appear to cause me any problems so far, but YMMV. If anyone can shed light, feel free to do so.
It's possible you can skip one of the pieces I mentioned. If you find anything redundant or un-necessary, mention it to save others some time.
When you IMPORT your save into ME3, it does list who you romanced in ME1 and ME2 when you've selected the import save (also mentions if you did not romance anyone). Verify that it looks correct.
If you killed somebody during the course of ME2 whom you now want to romance, be sure to make them alive. The editor has checkboxes under Plot/Henchmen/Flags which should make it easy, but if have problems, consult the pastebin table linked at the top.
If you... say... originally killed Ashley on Virmire and are now trying to romance her, keep in mind you'll have to make appropriate changes in the ME1 section as well, to get her alive, kill Kaiden instead, turn off your original romance and get your ME1 romance moving. It looks like all of these can be done within the editor's GUI, but you have to make edits in 3 areas (check both ME1 tabs under the Values and Flags sections). Look carefully through each option so that you don't miss something you need to turn on/off.
Remember to "turn off" other existing romances. If ME3 thinks you're romancing 2 people at the same time I don't know what might happen.
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the most important part here is the one whee you can set the stage for the romance (you can't just set it to "romanced tali" if you haven't gone through the suicide mission yet, gives unstabilitys). when i checked my romance witht ali was indeed set to level 6 (break up), i just set it to 5, and now she is ready and waiting for me
hope it helps anyone.
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