Forbry wrote...
All other endings force something on others too. Really not that hard to see if you wánt to see it.
Technically true, but Synthesis and Control are the options that specifically take away self-determination.
Destroy doesn't remove self-determination, because you have (presumably) united everyone under the plan of defeating the Reapers - most hoping that you will destroy them, thus winning back the right to live their lives as they were meant to, free from influence and the fear of an unavoidable destruction. Everyone at Earth (including the Geth, and EDI), are already willing to give up their lives in order for this goal to be achieved for everyone else that survives the battle. The only thing you "force" is the death of Synthetics who were already willing to die for exactly the decision that you make.
In Control, you have left the galaxy in it's previous state, and even though you don't destroy the Reapers, you do manage to stop them, as well as remove the threat of them resuming the cycle. Good enough right? Except for the fact that you then use the Reapers as your personal police force - in a way you are continuing to influence the order of the Galaxy. Do you think AI Shep will not intervene in matters it has deemed itself to be wholly responsible for? Do you think that organics will NOT somehow alter their behavior under threat of retribution from the new Reaper Overlord. Even in being a benevolant Dictator, you are still Dictating (a word which very essence means to give a command to be obeyed).
In Synthesis, you have taken every being in the galaxy, picked them up from point "A", and dropped them off at "Z". The (supposedly) very last stop. What is there to do now? To strive for? How will cultures adapt to suddenly no longer needed to discover, to invent, and engage (which are some core values of sapience)?. So much for the old adage "it's not about the destination, but about the Journey". What happens to those people who can't culturally adapt to the changes you have made (only a problem if personality is retained, otherwise you've just violated everyone on a much more personal level)? You have noticeably changed everyone's life without their expressed consent.
Refusal is the violation of the trust of everyone under your command. They are dying for the specific purpose of giving you enough time to activate the Crucible, and have already accepted that there might be dire consequences to using it. You fail them by not making a choice that can end the war immediately, even if you are making the choice that protects your moral values.