314 réponses à ce sujet

[CptData]

Abraham_uk wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

Gedgehog wrote...

Dear Fem Shep,

if I sleep with you, will you bump me up a rank or two?

Regards,

Vega.

P.S, banged Ashley.

Sooo basically.

You are asking me for 2 favors?

Commander Jane Shepard

Dear Lola

Would I ever do that?
I'm an N7, I'm not going to sully my reputation by sleeping with the comanding officer.
Besides,  I've got Ashley. No offence Lola.

We still bros?
I wanna get this crew assembled for a game of poker.
I've been spending every minute of my free time playing in the Citadel. I've become quite a pro.

Sincerely

Vega

Dear James.

Thought about your offer.
Convince Ash to do a threesome with me and you get your favor. And believe me, that's not going to be easy. She's not into girls.

- Lola

PS - why do I have the feeling in another universe it's me banging Ash 'cause I'm a dude?!

[DirtySHISN0]

OneWomanArmy wrote...

DirtySHISN0 wrote...

 NUDE PICTURES OF THE ILLUSIVE MAN!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

From; Cerberus HQ.

Good. You opened this message. This isn't really  nude
pictures of the Illusive man. He is busy counting casualty
reports and designing your new leash.

So you escaped our fight on the citadel. You're not as stupid
as i thought, but never forget your best wasn't good enough
to stop a terminally ill drell. Now an entire galaxy still has
a council because you lacked the strength to win.
The rumor about Kai Leng needs to be re-written. I will be
there for the final chapter. It ends with your rape.

-Shepard

Shepard!

As soon as I read the title I got naked but then I read the rest.... and now I am crying., you are no fun :-(

Ps. Did you mean it about the rape thing?

Dear Kai Leng,

Shut up baby, you know i love you.

-Shepard

[LanceSolous13]

Dragon_Claw wrote...

Hadeedak wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

CptData wrote...

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Dear fem shep!

I am sorry I never went any further with my flirting, I wanted to I really wanted to but your boyfriend Kaidan threaten to get me off the normandy if I did. But don't worry, I will make my move soon!

Love from James Vega

Hey Vega,

don't dare to touch my girl.
Yes, this is Kaidan. I have access to my girls PC.

Kaidan

PS. Javik still needs something to throw out of the airlock.

MESSAGES INTERCEPTED

Hello boys.

You are wasting your time.

Jane has already been "checkmated".

Now if you would excuse me, I´m in the mood for a shower...

Comm Specialist Traynor

Dear Traynor:

While I'm not always clear on human expressions, I do want to remind you that your best chess is no match for giving my girl a really, really big gun that always shoots straight. Enjoy your shower. We'll be down in the main battery, comparing scars and finishing off this bottle.

Courteously,
GV

Uhm, guys.

What are you all talking about?!?

This.. This isn´t fair!!! ;-(

I fed her fishes and I bought this stupid dancers outfit from Aria!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

KrllyGrl

What? But, she was going to walk with me to the Presidium for a lunch date.

I'm afraid this doesn't look good.

Have we been 'played'?

~Doctor Liara T'Soni

[DirtySHISN0]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

Hadeedak wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

CptData wrote...

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Dear fem shep!

I am sorry I never went any further with my flirting, I wanted to I really wanted to but your boyfriend Kaidan threaten to get me off the normandy if I did. But don't worry, I will make my move soon!

Love from James Vega

Hey Vega,

don't dare to touch my girl.
Yes, this is Kaidan. I have access to my girls PC.

Kaidan

PS. Javik still needs something to throw out of the airlock.

MESSAGES INTERCEPTED

Hello boys.

You are wasting your time.

Jane has already been "checkmated".

Now if you would excuse me, I´m in the mood for a shower...

Comm Specialist Traynor

Dear Traynor:

While I'm not always clear on human expressions, I do want to remind you that your best chess is no match for giving my girl a really, really big gun that always shoots straight. Enjoy your shower. We'll be down in the main battery, comparing scars and finishing off this bottle.

Courteously,
GV

Uhm, guys.

What are you all talking about?!?

This.. This isn´t fair!!! ;-(

I fed her fishes and I bought this stupid dancers outfit from Aria!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

KrllyGrl

What? But, she was going to walk with me to the Presidium for a lunch date.

I'm afraid this doesn't look good.

Have we been 'played'?

~Doctor Liara T'Soni

Hardware designation;- T'soni, 


We continue to note Shepard-commander assistance.

Sincerely,
Geth runtimes, Hardware designation;- Legion

Modifié par DirtySHISN0, 13 juillet 2012 - 08:07 .

[KOM_95]

Dear all female crew members of the Normandy

We'll bang,ok?

- Comander Shepard

[Dragon_Claw]

DirtySHISN0 wrote...

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

Hadeedak wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

CptData wrote...

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Dear fem shep!

I am sorry I never went any further with my flirting, I wanted to I really wanted to but your boyfriend Kaidan threaten to get me off the normandy if I did. But don't worry, I will make my move soon!

Love from James Vega

Hey Vega,

don't dare to touch my girl.
Yes, this is Kaidan. I have access to my girls PC.

Kaidan

PS. Javik still needs something to throw out of the airlock.

MESSAGES INTERCEPTED

Hello boys.

You are wasting your time.

Jane has already been "checkmated".

Now if you would excuse me, I´m in the mood for a shower...

Comm Specialist Traynor

Dear Traynor:

While I'm not always clear on human expressions, I do want to remind you that your best chess is no match for giving my girl a really, really big gun that always shoots straight. Enjoy your shower. We'll be down in the main battery, comparing scars and finishing off this bottle.

Courteously,
GV

Uhm, guys.

What are you all talking about?!?

This.. This isn´t fair!!! ;-(

I fed her fishes and I bought this stupid dancers outfit from Aria!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

KrllyGrl

What? But, she was going to walk with me to the Presidium for a lunch date.

I'm afraid this doesn't look good.

Have we been 'played'?

~Doctor Liara T'Soni

Hardware designation;- T'soni, 


We continue to note Shepard-commander assistance.

Sincerely,
Geth runtimes, Hardware designation;- Legion

Legion.

I´m pleased that you put the false information from my omni-tool to good use. Instead of the position of my flotilla.

And now your engineering skills are needed.

My "engine" needs cleaning...

Tali´Zorah nar Rayya

[CptData]

KOM_95 wrote...

Dear all female crew members of the Normandy

We'll bang,ok?

- Comander Shepard

Dear Commander Shepard,

No.

- Gabby

---

Dear Skipper,

Only on an exclusive and mutual level, got it?

- Ashley

---

Dear Loco,

Somehow I got in that female contact list. Change it please. I'm not interested in that stuff.

- Vega

---

Dear Shepard,

If you have time, find me in my room. I'm currently embracing eternity with Javik, but I'm sure you can join too.

- Liara.

---

Dear Captain,

Last time we did it, I got sick. So ... you better have a clean room this time.

- Tali

[LuXR0D]

Dear Garrus,

There is no bar here.

I must be in Hell.

Take care,

Shepard

[LanceSolous13]

Dragon_Claw wrote...

DirtySHISN0 wrote...

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

Hadeedak wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

CptData wrote...

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Dear fem shep!

I am sorry I never went any further with my flirting, I wanted to I really wanted to but your boyfriend Kaidan threaten to get me off the normandy if I did. But don't worry, I will make my move soon!

Love from James Vega

Hey Vega,

don't dare to touch my girl.
Yes, this is Kaidan. I have access to my girls PC.

Kaidan

PS. Javik still needs something to throw out of the airlock.

MESSAGES INTERCEPTED

Hello boys.

You are wasting your time.

Jane has already been "checkmated".

Now if you would excuse me, I´m in the mood for a shower...

Comm Specialist Traynor

Dear Traynor:

While I'm not always clear on human expressions, I do want to remind you that your best chess is no match for giving my girl a really, really big gun that always shoots straight. Enjoy your shower. We'll be down in the main battery, comparing scars and finishing off this bottle.

Courteously,
GV

Uhm, guys.

What are you all talking about?!?

This.. This isn´t fair!!! ;-(

I fed her fishes and I bought this stupid dancers outfit from Aria!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

KrllyGrl

What? But, she was going to walk with me to the Presidium for a lunch date.

I'm afraid this doesn't look good.

Have we been 'played'?

~Doctor Liara T'Soni

Hardware designation;- T'soni, 


We continue to note Shepard-commander assistance.

Sincerely,
Geth runtimes, Hardware designation;- Legion

Legion.

I´m pleased that you put the false information from my omni-tool to good use. Instead of the position of my flotilla.

And now your engineering skills are needed.

My "engine" needs cleaning...

Tali´Zorah nar Rayya

Tali,

I really don't want to hear about Legion inserting his floppy into your disk drive.

-Shepard

(I'm so sorry. )

Modifié par LanceSolous13, 13 juillet 2012 - 08:44 .

[Dragon_Claw]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

DirtySHISN0 wrote...

LanceSolous13 wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

Hadeedak wrote...

Dragon_Claw wrote...

CptData wrote...

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Dear fem shep!

I am sorry I never went any further with my flirting, I wanted to I really wanted to but your boyfriend Kaidan threaten to get me off the normandy if I did. But don't worry, I will make my move soon!

Love from James Vega

Hey Vega,

don't dare to touch my girl.
Yes, this is Kaidan. I have access to my girls PC.

Kaidan

PS. Javik still needs something to throw out of the airlock.

MESSAGES INTERCEPTED

Hello boys.

You are wasting your time.

Jane has already been "checkmated".

Now if you would excuse me, I´m in the mood for a shower...

Comm Specialist Traynor

Dear Traynor:

While I'm not always clear on human expressions, I do want to remind you that your best chess is no match for giving my girl a really, really big gun that always shoots straight. Enjoy your shower. We'll be down in the main battery, comparing scars and finishing off this bottle.

Courteously,
GV

Uhm, guys.

What are you all talking about?!?

This.. This isn´t fair!!! ;-(

I fed her fishes and I bought this stupid dancers outfit from Aria!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

KrllyGrl

What? But, she was going to walk with me to the Presidium for a lunch date.

I'm afraid this doesn't look good.

Have we been 'played'?

~Doctor Liara T'Soni

Hardware designation;- T'soni, 


We continue to note Shepard-commander assistance.

Sincerely,
Geth runtimes, Hardware designation;- Legion

Legion.

I´m pleased that you put the false information from my omni-tool to good use. Instead of the position of my flotilla.

And now your engineering skills are needed.

My "engine" needs cleaning...

Tali´Zorah nar Rayya

Tali,

I really don't want to hear about Legion inserting his floppy into your disk drive.

-Shepard

(I'm so sorry. )

Commander.

I do not understand your use of a "floppy" & "disk drive". To my knowledge these devices has not been seen in the last 200 years.

Also I want to notify you, that Jeff is about to teach me some more about human relations.

So don´t worry if the Normandys electrical systems goes a little haywire over the next hour. It is perfectly normal under the coming circumstances.

EDI

[CptData]

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Dear Shephard!

Why did you just stand there like a statue while I a sick drell could barely fight Kai Leng?

Now I am dead because of you!

Thane

Dear dead Thane,

Sorry. Was enjoying the show while you nearly beat up Kai Leng. It looked too awesome.
Next time I'll help ... err ... nevermind.

- Shepard.

[ottifant64]

krukow wrote...

Dear Femshep,
I'm still on the cover. You're just an "alternate."

Sincerely,
Sheploo

Dear Sheploo,
tell your friends i'm coming for them.

Yours sincerely,
Jane Shepard

PS: I'm on the cover from the CE. Deal with it.

[Asch Lavigne]

Dear Mr. Illusive Man;



-EDI.

P.S. I hope the terabytes of illicit material I sent was to your liking.

ottifant64 wrote...

krukow wrote...

Dear Femshep,
I'm still on the cover. You're just an "alternate."

Sincerely,
Sheploo

Dear Sheploo,
tell your friends i'm coming for them.

Yours sincerely,
Jane Shepard

PS: I'm on the cover from the CE. Deal with it.

PPS: Flip the standard game cover over and I'm there too. Suck it.

Modifié par Asch Lavigne, 14 juillet 2012 - 04:27 .

[Ticonderoga117]

Dear Ashley,

Will you please stop being a ***** and claiming I'm with Cerberus?
I never liked them and how many plans of theirs must I wreck before you shut up?

-Cmdr Shepard

[ottifant64]

OneWomanArmy wrote...

Ticonderoga117 wrote...

Dear Ashley,

Will you please stop being a ***** and claiming I'm with Cerberus?
I never liked them and how many plans of theirs must I wreck before you shut up?

-Cmdr Shepard

Dear Shepard!

You must be the female version of Commander Shepard cause your male version loves me and only me.

Ashley.

Dear Ash,

You should know, in a different dimension where I would be a man, I would love Liara (because Samantha wouldn't love me ).

Shepard

PS: I thought I left you on Virmire.

Modifié par ottifant64, 14 juillet 2012 - 06:24 .

[Gedgehog]

Dear Kaidan,

Hows the nuclear wasteland of Virmire?

Regards,

Ash.

[ottifant64]

Gedgehog wrote...

Dear Kaidan,

Hows the nuclear wasteland of Virmire?

Regards,

Ash.

Dear Ash,

I should've left you on Virmire.

With Kaidan.

CDR Shepard

[Hadeedak]

Dear Kaidan and Ash:

I saved both of you.... Granted, I had to stop Saren twice, but it was so worth it.

Shep

PS: Someone get me Thane's number. I miss that guy, and not just for his great bu.... I mean sniper rifle.

[draken-heart]

(random fan fun here)
Dear Ash:

Next time you get drunk, lock the door

Commander Fem!Shepard

P.S.: found a weird vid of you and Liara from last night, thought you did not swing that way

serious this time:

Dear Garrus:

Like getting you backside handed to you by a human woman?!

Fem!Shepard

Modifié par draken-heart, 14 juillet 2012 - 07:35 .