144 réponses à ce sujet

[Travis2310]

Today I was at a fast food restaurant. I saw a cute girl waiting for her order, as was I. I had a prime opportunity to introduce myself and talk to her. I had the perfect conversation in my head. She even looked at me.

But I said nothing. She took her food and left, never to be seen by me again. Afterwards, I felt like an empty shell of a person. I felt like nothing. I felt like whatever I possessed, whatever I accomplished in the past and currently am in the process of accomplishing now, and everything that was a part of me was not good enough.


I am kicking myself for not saying anything, but that is not the main reason for my anger. This has happened before in a wide variety of situations, not just romantic ones.


Part of me is happy that I didn’t say anything. But that part of me is a coward; I always listen to him when I fail in these situations, and use his words as a justification for my pitifulness.


“She probably had a boyfriend already”
“She would have rejected you just like the others did”
“Stick to what you are good at; this is not your field of play”
“What do you have that another more attractive, wealthier guy doesn’t have?”
“What makes you think this is something you can handle?”
“Being alone has served you well so far, don’t ruin it”
“Don’t try to do this. This is a risk that is not worth the reward, if there is any”



I hear this from my inner cowardice all the time. And that’s what keeps me trapped inside myself. It keeps me content, frustrated, ignorant, curious, lacking, safe, secure, empty.



Part of me embraces the coward because I know he is right. He keeps me from doing things that could possibly make me look foolish or harm my already diminished ego. The coward reminds me of who I am whenever I try to become something I am not, try something I am not good at, explore areas outside my own.



The coward in me is my leash, as he holds me back from running towards my true potential. Yet I never wish to break free. I never want to experience the feeling of running forward without restraint. Vexed is a prisoner who doesn’t desire freedom.



I feel like a caterpillar inside of a cocoon. If I emerge from the prison I created for myself, I may be engulfed and destroyed by the social predators I hide myself from. But in the process, the beautiful butterfly I can and should become is never brought into fruition. I would rather live a life of darkness than to risk being blinded by the light.



I am a coward. No matter what I accomplish in my life, this will always be a fact. The coward in me guides me down the one-way road of life towards the exit ramp of death, never allowing me to view the environment I continue to pass through my windows of opportunity.

[Adugan]

You really put yourself out there with this post... I bet some trolls are going to stomp on you. What was the purpose of this?

[Travis2310]

I don't know. I wrote it immediately after it happened and while my mind was still on it. I guess posting it wasn't a very good idea.

[LPPrince]

Props for putting that out there man.

[Cutlass Jack]

Beat your inner coward up and lock him in the closet. Its not like he'll fight back.

Sometimes you just need to take a chance and roll the dice. What's the worst that can happen? You don't get the girl you were going to let walk away anyhow? Start a conversation, you might surprise yourself. If nothing else you get some practice in for the next time.

Modifié par Cutlass Jack, 17 juillet 2012 - 05:15 .

[spirosz]

You ever try saying those conversations in front of a mirror or even to your buddies? The more you do it, the more it becomes a habit and you'll be less hesitant. There's obviously other factors, like the environment you're in, what's going on at the time etc, but next time or at least whenever because this will happen often, just go for it. If you get rejected, so what? There's millions of people out there and it won't hurt to be consistent, you'll get better at it, like anything in life.

Just keep your head up.  I'm a very shy person myself, so I know where you're coming from.  The feeling of joy will outweigh that "cowardly feeling" you're getting, IMO.  

Modifié par spiros9110, 17 juillet 2012 - 05:52 .

[Naughty Bear]

*Secretly writes down notes*

[chunkyman]

Sounds like me, although I'm a bigger coward. In addition to being afraid of strangers, I'm quite poor at conversation. That causes social isolation, which is rather unpleasant (as in not-having-a-friend-over-in-five-years unpleasant). So whenever you feel sorry for yourself, just remember that chunkyman has way worse social problems than you do, which will make you feel better about yourself. 

Social Anxiety Disorder FTW! 

Modifié par chunkyman, 17 juillet 2012 - 06:21 .

[Ryllen Laerth Kriel]

Nah OP, it was a fun post. Everyone is a coward to some extent. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Ghost Lightning]

Ryllen Laerth Kriel wrote...

Nah OP, it was a fun post. Everyone is a coward to some extent. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I think people are using the word "coward" too lightly. The OP is not a coward. He just has an issue with nerves. By labelling him as a cowrd it basically says that he's beyond help, he's resigned to be a "coward" forever. I for one was shy as hell up until sophmore year in highschool when I started taking drama classes. Now three years later I have no shame what-so-ever. Like none. I can talk to most people just fine now and approaching new people isn't nearly as hard. So no OP, you are NOT a coward. You just need to try to find ways to confront your apprehension so you can work on aleviating it. 

Modifié par Ghost Lightning, 17 juillet 2012 - 08:04 .

[billy the squid]

Travis2310 wrote...

OP

Per chance have you met Luis?

But really, smiling and saying hi would be a good start, it doesn't have to be anymore than that, just be polite.

[Fidget6]

Sorry you feel that way OP. =[ I know how isolating social anxiety is.

[Zanallen]

I hear ya man. I've tried and lost so many times that sometimes I'm scared to try again. No one wants to be hurt and that is always the risk when you put yourself out there. There is a girl I love right now. She has a boyfriend. I knew that. It was one of the first things I learned about her. I tried to focus my sights elsewhere, but I kept being drawn to her. But I'm scared because I don't to ruin the friendship that we have and I desperately don't want to hurt her. It's confusing as well. And scary and frustrating and it makes me feel pretty useless. But that's life.

[Travis2310]

I've read all of your comments and I appreciate them. It's frustrating to be held back by yourself all the time.

The worse part is that I haven't really ever been rejected by a girl; I always reject myself before they have the chance to. I'm basically saying to myself that who I am is not good enough for them, which is pretty pathetic.

[android654]

Well this is quite a sad read.

[Fishy]

You might start a conversation with a more shy girl and ... that make thing really awkward.


Shy man : H.. H....H...helowi.
Shy Girl .. Hehehehehellllllloooo
Shy man: Soo .. ''clear throat'' you come herre oooododdddten.
Shy girl: Nooot realllly..... (Do he think im fat or what& This is soooo awkward..
Shy Man : I See '' Geez Im so dumb and stupid and ugly and useless and and and and''
Guy next to them: Man this place  is full of weird. Last time I come here.

Modifié par Suprez30, 17 juillet 2012 - 10:43 .

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

What a weird (and sad) thread.

But OP, why overthink things?

You're not dismantling a nuclear device here, you're making small talk with a person you just met. There's no need to put so much pressure on yourself or ask so many questions. What's the worst case scenario if you mess up, a stranger thought you were weird? Big deal.

Modifié par CrustyBot, 17 juillet 2012 - 10:43 .

[billy the squid]

CrustyBot wrote...

What a weird (and sad) thread.

But OP, why overthink things?

You're not dismantling a nuclear device here, you're making small talk with a person you just met. There's no need to put so much pressure on yourself or ask so many questions. What's the worst case scenario if you mess up, a stranger thought you were weird? Big deal.

Exactly, you can blame it on.... Aliens

Modifié par billy the squid, 17 juillet 2012 - 10:45 .

[Dominus]

I spent the first 25 years of my life in that Shinji Ikari-esque state of mind. It took living on my own for years to finally shed off the cowardice and dependence from others. I can't say what will work for you, because everyone's mind works a little differently. Clearly you recognize there's a problem, and it's recurring. Best advice is to take baby steps to get there. Therapy is one alternative as well, it can at least help the transition to Travis, The Ultimate Badass.

[Chromie]

billy the squid wrote...

CrustyBot wrote...

What a weird (and sad) thread.

But OP, why overthink things?

You're not dismantling a nuclear device here, you're making small talk with a person you just met. There's no need to put so much pressure on yourself or ask so many questions. What's the worst case scenario if you mess up, a stranger thought you were weird? Big deal.

Exactly, you can blame it on.... Aliens

Nope I blame it on ....