144 réponses à ce sujet

[hangmans tree]

That reminds me of how high you can get on "I dont care what others might think of me".

There is no fail in this situation. You simply start a conversation and see how it goes. Best thing I think would do is to start wit why are you introducing yourself - simply tell her some magnetic force attracts you towards her (or other truth about here and now), that you want to ask what is her name, is there a chance you will be seeing each other more often in this particular place - maybe you'll talk more some other time - etc, etc.

One step costs you nothing. If you get turned down its the same as you did nothing, but now you know. And you wont be kicking yourself in the nuts for not trying.

And what if, just if, she smiles and says see you tomorrow?

Modifié par hangmans tree, 18 juillet 2012 - 08:26 .

[Mercannis]

Probably wont make you feel any better lad but most of the population are cowards. There are two kinds of people in this life, winners and then there are losers, ill leave it you to decide which you want to be.

[Adugan]

Mercannis wrote...

Probably wont make you feel any better lad but most of the population are cowards. There are two kinds of people in this life, winners and then there are losers, ill leave it you to decide which you want to be.

What about the non-partakers?

[fchopin]

Op, use the “i am the best” mantra technique and don’t worry what other people think.
Just start talking and don’t stop, it does not matter what you say in the beginning as long as you don’t stop to think.
No more “i am a coward” thinking, just “i am the best” mantra.

[Mercannis]

Adugan wrote...

Mercannis wrote...

Probably wont make you feel any better lad but most of the population are cowards. There are two kinds of people in this life, winners and then there are losers, ill leave it you to decide which you want to be.

What about the non-partakers?

Those who drift day to day existing instead of living? Sounds like a loser to me.
If you run once you will run your whole life, my old pappy said that to me when i was 7 or 8. So i always meet challenges whatever they may be and my life has flourished because of that.

You have one life..ONE and this isnt a game where you can get a do-over each and every moment is unique and you will never see it again. So live in the moment and take chances it may payoff and the worst that can happen is you get a no or a bruised face.

[Travis2310]

I understand you Mercannis. I (like most people) don't like making mistakes, but you never know whether you will make one until you try.

You fail if you don't try anyway, so might as well give it a shot.

[RedArmyShogun]

Mercannis wrote...

Adugan wrote...

Mercannis wrote...

Probably wont make you feel any better lad but most of the population are cowards. There are two kinds of people in this life, winners and then there are losers, ill leave it you to decide which you want to be.

What about the non-partakers?

Those who drift day to day existing instead of living? Sounds like a loser to me.
If you run once you will run your whole life, my old pappy said that to me when i was 7 or 8. So i always meet challenges whatever they may be and my life has flourished because of that.

You have one life..ONE and this isnt a game where you can get a do-over each and every moment is unique and you will never see it again. So live in the moment and take chances it may payoff and the worst that can happen is you get a no or a bruised face.

Hmm I take it no one told your old Pappy to stand his ground and fight? Also that no one has ever hit him in the legs with a baseball bat or he stepped on a land mine. After either you won't be running >>

And lulz unless your Buddist.

[RedArmyShogun]

Fuinris wrote...

I ran my whole life. At one day there was thunder while I was running. I looked up to the sky and between Simba and Vader there was Odin in the clouds. He said run and you will need new sneakers soon. Fight and you will need new teeth soon. But listen to my words and you will pillage the foes of the Vikings. All women see your Warrior heart. The will submit to your prowess. And so I've grown me a beard and my hair. I made a battle axe out of my old bike. And throughout my whole town all bullies fear the name 'Erik the Viking'. My girlfriend calls me 'Daveheart' Dunno what it means but it sounds sweet. I call her Buttercut.

Aye much wisedom has been passed onto you. However you whould be more blood thristy and smite down the bulllies, then you may be called,

Erik the Red.

[kobayashi-maru]

I'm with chunkyman, SAD is horrible, though mine not as serious, just connected to PTSD and depression so fun. I think I am scared of acronyms

It's like you said give it a shot, if you end up making prat of yourself at least you tried. And for what it's worth I have had similar situations and did it anyways, even when it goes horribly wrong it gives you something to laugh about later with friends.

Modifié par kobayashi-maru, 18 juillet 2012 - 01:17 .

[Gotholhorakh]

I joke about overcompensation, but really I think strangers who come and strike up conversations to hit on you tend to come off as sleazy or creepy - especially in situations where you are totally not there to pick people up, like the library or supermarket.

Also look at it this way - if you set yourself up in a relationship with someone who digs that sort of behaviour in a man (behaviour that really isn't you at all), aren't you dooming yourself or at least the relationship?

Modifié par Gotholhorakh, 18 juillet 2012 - 01:24 .

[munnellyladt]

I get why you were anxious to talk to her in that situation,alot of people would be including myself.
But If you just go up to talk to her,whats the worst she can do?

All she can do is reject you and then you should just get on with your day.
On the other hand she might just be interested in you so what have you got to lose.

Like you said,give it a shot.

[Reznore57]

You're not a coward , Op.
You're probably a bit shy , so what?
A lot of people are.
I used to be super shy (like omg i'm so pathetic i'm gonna die a virgin!Noooo),I hitted on people in many stupid ways, (talking about stupid thing like "Hey i saw this tv show about serial killers , what do you think of serial killer ?" that didn't work^^)
The thruth is sometimes you will fail , some people are never gonna be interested in you ....
The good new is sometimes you won't fail , and somebody 's gonna think you may be the coolest person ever...
And then you're gonna live together hapilly ever after , or just get your heart broken , it depends really.

[android654]

Reznore57 wrote...
I used to be super shy (like omg i'm so pathetic i'm gonna die a virgin!Noooo),I hitted on people in many stupid ways, (talking about stupid thing like "Hey i saw this tv show about serial killers , what do you think of serial killer ?" that didn't work^^)

That is too funny. So funny, that I refuse to believe you would actually say that to a person you just met.

[Reznore57]

Not somebody I just met , no.
Some friend of friend i thought was cute ,and i was trying to get some attention...
The guy just looked at me like i was really wierd ...it's a really fond memory

But i've done tone of stuff like that till my early 20's , I had no clue ,it seemed very dramatic at the time .

[termokanden]

The OP doesn't need to talk to a psychologist like someone suggested and this in itself does not mean you have some weird disorder. There's nothing strange about this at all.

Personally, I'm just not a people person in general. I really just don't understand other people's motivations. Other people are ALIEN to me.

[Insert picture of annoying alien dude from "History" Channel here]

Mercannis wrote...

Probably wont make you feel any better lad but most of the population are cowards. There are two kinds of people in this life, winners and then there are losers, ill leave it you to decide which you want to be.

Zoidberg: Which is the one people like to hug?
That Guy: Gutsy question, you're a shark!

[Eternal Phoenix]

Tigerblood and MilkShakes wrote...

Violence is the key to success in some areas of life.
being brute and intelligent holds many ways to a path of ife.

pray to the blood god and youll be tought the wisdom you need.or dont and live in a shed dosnt matter to us.blood thirsy monsters

So the OP should beat the woman to a pulp and then ask her out on a date?

Hmmm...I might try that tactic myself and see where it goes.

It might just work. Worth a shot eh?

[android654]

termokanden wrote...

The OP doesn't need to talk to a psychologist like someone suggested and this in itself does not mean you have some weird disorder. There's nothing strange about this at all.

An inability to communicate is pretty central to all forms of social disorders. Doesn't mean he has it, but it doesn't invalidate the possibility of having it either. PErhaps he should seek some professional help.

Reznore57 wrote...

Not somebody I just met , no.
Some friend of friend i thought was cute ,and i was trying to get some attention...
The guy just looked at me like i was really wierd ...it's a really fond memory

But i've done tone of stuff like that till my early 20's , I had no clue ,it seemed very dramatic at the time .

Awkward moments are hilarious when you can think past any embarrassment.

[Aerevane]

I used to be like you dude. The missed chances when I was younger... oh... it makes me and the spiders in my room weep for days on end.

First I overcame this problem with alcohol, but after a while I became much more loosened up when sober as well. Just step over your 'pride'; the world is a big ****ing joke and just mock it. Mock it all and take your chances!

[termokanden]

android654 wrote...


An inability to communicate is pretty central to all forms of social disorders. Doesn't mean he has it, but it doesn't invalidate the possibility of having it either. PErhaps he should seek some professional help.

Obviously if things are bad enough, seek help sooner rather than later.

Let me rephrase my previous post a bit: many people have felt exactly like the OP here, and it's not that weird in itself. Perhaps that is a healthy observation to make.

[goofyomnivore]

you weren't exactly in a good small talk venue. i guess you could of joked about the service or maybe she had a shirt with a band or restaurant name on it you could of commented on.

idk i'm not very good at sparking conversations with strangers either. i've gotten better though my advice is you gotta try it a lot to get good at it. worst case they're not interested or you embarrassed yourself, so what life goes on -- nobody is going to remember Wednesday July 18th when some stranger asked them about their day at McDonalds if it wasn't important to them.

[Cimeas]

Well this has really shown how great the BSN community is. We can rant at Bioware, we can rant about the definition of RPG, but we seem to be good people

[Mercannis]

Travis2310 wrote...

I understand you Mercannis. I (like most people) don't like making mistakes, but you never know whether you will make one until you try.

You fail if you don't try anyway, so might as well give it a shot.

Exactly, thats all you can really do in life, keep on trying and hoping for the best. The people who let their fear master them live their whole lifes that way. They make excuses , put things off for another day, place the blame on the state or on society, when really they only need to look in the mirror for the culprit as they have the power to turn it all around but they dont out of fear.

A few examples are; folks who stick it out in dead end jobs because they dont believe they are good enough for anything else. The usual excuse here is that they have a contract and a steady income so why rock the boat??
Why indeed..

Those who sign up to online dating sites to "meet someone". Its alot easier, safer more convenient...bull****..they are just frightened that if they approach someone they will be rejected. It happens, its not a big deal and at the very least you will have taken the first steps to forming more intimate relations with a woman/man.

So next time you see a girl you like (Not in a fastfood line though) say hi and smile and half the time they take it from there as they know what your about.