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[Salacious Pop]

Sorry for EPIC TLDR, I'll try to explain this as clearly as I can:

My roommate and I have our PCs in the same room, connected via CAT5s to a router that does NAT. I'll call ourselves A & B.  We have no problems playing ME3MP concurrently (we're each in our own unique matches with 3 pugs each, playing at the same time but not in the same session), or cooperatively, where I create a lobby, he joins, and then we open up the last 2 spaces for pugs.  We have no reason to believe anything is wonky with our router setup since we have no issues with any other kind of multiplayer or game that we play regularly. 

Quite often we'll invite a 3rd friend in, and the 3 of us will leave the 4th slot set to private and do our thing.

The problem we're having is when we try to play privately with 2 friends (Y & Z) about 80 miles away, who have almost literally the same setup we have described above. Again, for them, they have no problems playing cooperatively or doing their own thing at the same time.

This is the behavior we're seeing:

Regardless of who sets up the lobby, only 2 others can join it. The 4th person, be it on my end or their end, is stuck on the "Joining Game" tile after they pick their character to log in with. The communicating wheel in the top left corner spins for about a minute, then disappears. Sometimes we can hear their voice audio over the headset, sometimes not.  Ultimately whoever it happens to has to kill-task their ME3 client completely, which is a pain in the ass, to get out of it. Reloading Origin/ME3 makes no difference, nor does various configurations of Joining Game via the Origin Friends list or manually inviting them and having them click that button in the IM window (which should all do the same thing, but whatever).

Here's the worse part, and we can reproduce this every single time:  Let's say I join a lobby with them (A, Y & Z), we leave the 4th slot private, and we start the match and go in with B waiting in the wings behind me. While the combat waves are going, one of us will fire off an invite to him via the Origin overlay.

He then accepts, is piped to the MP character select screen, and again is stuck on the "Joining Game" tile.. except this time, I get timed out in the middle of the match! Something about him trying to get in locks up my connection to the map, and after about 45 seconds my client finally wakes up and goes "Connection to match lost...". My Origin session is still fine, and when I get thrown back out to the main menu my Galaxy Readiness map pops right up.

If he then clicks the "Join Game" button again, it FINALLY lets him into the match in progress, but then of course I'm the one who is screwed and can't get in. Behavior is exactly the same when our friends try to do similiar, the person on their end who is already in gets timed out when the other tries to connect.

Is this a known bug? Is there an Origin specific forum I can take this to? The only thing I can think of is that an Origin lobby can only parse and keep track of 1 IP with more than one session associated to it at any given time.. the other player's IPs have to be unique because it doesn't know how to keep track of that many shared sessions. IDK if I'm making sense. 
 If we try to play with just ONE of them and then the other friend (who is out of state) that we normally run 3-mans with, everything is peachy. 

Thoughts???? If this was discussed in another post I'll happily accept my fail (in trade for links)

ty kindly