299 réponses à ce sujet

[SinerAthin]

Dear Military Research and Developement Center

Where the hell is my Sentinel suit?!

Sincerely,
Asari Adept

[Mash3d]

Dear N7 Fury,

I want my hood and respirators back.

Signed,
FQI

[superdevildude85]

Dear Alliance Medical operations,*BOOM* Planetside outpost,

Can you*BOOM* prescribe something to*BOOM* stop my ears ringing?

Regards, N7 Fury.

[Thargorichiban]

Dear Admiral Hackett,

Yeah... I've been encountering tons of agents out there utilizing strikers that are capable of instantly killing every enemy on the field with one hit.

If we have this technology just how the heck are we losing to the Reapers?

Sincerely,

N7 Destroyer

P.S. There does seem to be a side effect of very little actual skill from agents who use this weapon. Maybe figure out how to get rid of that?

[ChrisRudson]

KentGoldings wrote...

Memorandum

To: All Team Members
From: N7 Paladin
RE: revised emergency procedures

In the event of multiple Geth Prime attacks, the best place for team members is behind the man with the omni-shield.

Thank you for your attention to ths matter.

To: N7 Paladin
RERE: Revised Emergency Procedures

Tell that to my N7 Paladin friend who died using his omni shield against 5 Geth Primes. Oh, wait, you can't, because of your stupid emergency procedure.

Lots of hate,
N7 Destroyer

Modifié par ChrisRudson, 23 juillet 2012 - 08:11 .

[ChrisRudson]

Dear Brutes,

I hardly felt anything from your attacks. You didn't even take out my shields.

Laughing like a retard right now ,
N7 Destroyer

PS. Srike harder, you won't get laid with that Bansee if she hits harder than you do.

Modifié par ChrisRudson, 23 juillet 2012 - 02:02 .

[Skullheart]

To: N7 Destroyer
From: Alliance R&D Division

We can't waste time developing a "count kill attachment" for your weapons just because  you lost the count of your kills.

Sincerely,
Alliance R&D Division.

--------------------------------------------
To: Alliance R&D Division
From: N7 Destroyer

I'm sad to heart that. Can you at least take a view for those custom trigger schematics I sent to you?
My fire finger is getting itchy.

Sincerely,
N7 Destroyer.

Modifié par Skullheart, 23 juillet 2012 - 04:02 .

[t3hTwinky]

deer fansey bossey hyoomans,

vorcha need moar guns. vorcha liek shoot. mayk moar guns happin or we leev

sinseerly,
oll the vorchas

pee ess:
allso, no triks or WE LEEV

pee ess ess:
allso allso, moar samwichis
OR WE LEEV
NO TRIKS

[Darkfoxz87]

Broganisity wrote...

Dear N7 Demolisher

Put Dispenser Supply Pylon Here.

Sincerely,

Scout N7 Destroyer.

Fix'd

Modifié par Darkfoxz87, 23 juillet 2012 - 04:56 .

[Darkfoxz87]

Dbohr wrote...

From the notes of Dr Taliah Colborn, Cerberus Psychiatrist
Subjetc: Phantom "Kaoru" evaluation

[begin recording]

Dr Colborn: Hello, Kaoru, how are you today?

"Kaoru": ...

DC: So, are you spending the whole session in silence?

K: ... 

DC: I need to assess your condition, you know. Of course you can sit there quiet for the next 20 minutes, but we have three more sessions this month before you go back to the field. If I deem you ready to go back to the field. So why don't you talk to me?

K: Whatever.

DC: Better already. Now: how do you feel?

K: [sigh]. I suppose I could tell you. Well, I'm not just "a Phantom", right? I'm top of my class, graded better than that poser Kai Leng. Yet somehow the little punk gets the choicest assignments, while I get to kill the alien trash of the galaxy. 

DC: I see.

K: No, you don't! Quit being so condescending. 

DC: [takes some notes] Please continue.

K: Anyway, last week I hear my guys are deploying in Benning against some newfangled N7 clowns. Intel says they're coming with one of those Phoenix turncoats, so double fun for me. Now, being a ranking officer I get to sit back a little and oversee the tactical situation for the first few minutes...

DC: I take the situation didn't go as planned?

K: 'Didn't go as planned'? It went south of Hell, doc. I mean, there was the Phoenix rat, plus three N7 types. The first was a Sentinel. Guy with a ridiculous omni-shield. I mean, even Sargeant Kelso of my Guardian platoon was laughing his ass off because of him. The lumbering oaf could swing, I give him that, but that was about it. Could't even move with his shield deployed. I think my guys took more shots at him than the other three soldiers combined. 

DC: What went wrong, then? 

K: The other two N7s. One was a Kai Leng wannabe playing with a sword. The other was a skinny girl only half-trained with it. I could tell it just by looking at the mission monitor. At any rate, the 'Slayer', as they called it turned out to be a pretty decent biotic. He kept teaming with that Phoenix t*rd and laying low my troops. The 'Shadow' operative kept cartwheeling about shooting some crazy-ass electric effect from the blade. That was when I grew tired and put my girls on the field. 

DC: You mean your Phantom squad. 

K: I mean my f**ing elite Phantom Squad, yeah. Highest kill count in the damn galaxy. Between me and my girls there are more kills than any three Cerberus armies combined. 

DC: And I suppose that was when things turned out to the worst. 

K: You have a gift for understatement, doc. 

DC: [takes some notes]

K: [sigh] Anyway, my girls are on the field and the Phoenix guy freaks out. He was playing with a recon drone they'd just find. And, s**t, my squad was looking for that toy for days before the N7 Ops even showed up... but that's a complaint for another day. So the Phoenix was dog walking the drone and freaks out when my girls show up. The stupid shield Sentinel says something ridiculous like 'don't worry, I got this' and puts up his omni-shield. Idiot. One of the girls simply went around him and slashed him for good. And then... then it got silly. 

DC: Why?

K: I told you the other two guys were playing with swords, right? Well, was I wrong. The Shadow started teleporting around like a Vanguard from Hell and one-hit-killing my girls! The Slayer attacked them with a poor excuse of a palm blaster -- rather weak, I thought, but enough to drop their barriers -- then did some freaky-ass disappearing tricks so we could't shoot back. All the while his girlfriend kept cutting down my Phantoms.

DC: Did they manage to upload the drone?

K: Yeah. I was pretty PO. So I took to the field personally while they awaited extraction. I managed to pin down the Shadow with 3 Atlases in a back alley while the other three guys scrambled towards the LZ, right where I wanted them. As they were trying to hold ground, I zapped the Phoenix from distance and ordered my Engineer to deploy a turret. 

DC: What then?

K: The 'Paladin', that weirdo with the shield, just blocked the shots. I mean, have you ever seen a Cerberus turret shooting? It's f**ing deadly! That guy just sat there, taking bullets on his omni-shield while Kai Leng wannabe tended his friend. I told the dumb Engineer to stop fooling around and deploy another turret and then... 

DC: Yes?

K:...

DC: If you want to continue another day...

K: No, it's all right. And then the engineer's head just fell off! 

DC: What?

K: It just fell off before he could deploy another turret. I thought I could see the N7 Shadow for a moment, but then she was gone. Then there was an electric burst and the turret was gone, too. The Atlases were still a ways out and the Alliance shuttle was coming hot. I decided to take this in my own hands and attacked their position alone. So as the shuttle landed, the idiot Paladin deployed his shield again and told his friends 'go, I got this'. They were screaming at him, ordering him to fall back. He just... sat there, blocking my way, saying 'I got this'. I then did my trademark sword-through-chest move to clean the way... and the guy just... he just... 

DC: Kaoru?

K:...

DC: Kaoru, are you alright? 

K: That was it, doc. He hugged me. Held me tight, even as he slumped to the ground, my sword in his chest. His friends boarded the shuttle and went away. His last words were 'I got this, you go home'.

[silence]

DC: Well, Kaoru, you took down a valued enemy operative. That's a victory right there. 

K: That's just it, doc. The whole time that Paladin was sitting there? He was confident. He knew what was gonna happen and he was fine with it. Me? I was afraid. And I still am.

*SNIFF*  HE HELD THE LINE! *SNIFF* /MANLIY TEAR

[Xerorei]

Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda,

Here I am at, Camp Tuchanka
Camp is very entertaining, and they say that we'll have fun when bullets stop raining

I went fighting with Paladin Spivy
He took a bullet in the eye meat
You remember Slayer Skinner
He got ravager poisoning last night after pizza delivering

All the Quarians, hate the Shadows
and the control room is full of Salarians
and our Demolisher has a screw loose
he keeps picking fights with the Krogan and Batarians.

Now I don't want this should it scare ya
But my think my Fury bunkmate has contagious asthma
You remember, Destroyer Hardy
The engineers are about to organize a searching party.

Modifié par Xerorei, 23 juillet 2012 - 06:42 .

[DarklighterFreak]

Dear N7 Shadow.

Stop teleporting across the map like a vanguard, it's our trademark move!

Annoyed, N7 Slayer

[AnimaMachinae]

DarklighterFreak wrote...

Dear N7 Shadow.

Stop teleporting across the map like a vanguard, it's our trademark move!

Annoyed, N7 Slayer

Dear N7 Slayer,

Stop glitching out of the map

In confidence,
N7 Shadow

[xcrunr1647]

Jzargo wrote...

Dear N7 Paladin

Please stop pretending you're gandalf and yelling "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Sincerely,
Your N7 spec ops team

Awesome
___________________________________________________

Dear N7 Spec Ops Team,

They don't pass, do they? That's right. Stop hatin.

Oh no, get that one, he's flan-------

*end transmission*

[PDHoops]

Dear N7 Destroyer,

Please stop waddling around like you've soiled yourself.
Not withstanding this in the last week -
Shadow has got herself downed every wave closely followed by Slayer.
Paladin has got his shield stuck in the floor 4 times. blocked the wrong entrance 5 times and brought his sno-cone maker not a gun twice.
Demolisher has dropped her pylon next to an ammo bin at least once every mission and well, the farce against the reapers on glacier when she used up all her grenades on husks and had nothing left for anything else goes without saying.
... and you... why on earth did you think a spud gun launcher was a good addition to your armor?. In case we get peckish mid mission and need some chips? (No jokes please about my fondness for them i am not in the mood and i've had enough snide comments from QF's and Asari)

I am fed up with you muppets making us the butt of all the jokes in the mess hall. The asari are laughing their asses off at us.

With suicidial Shadows, incompetent Paladins and you who messes himself at the first husk, if your the best humanity has to offer im off to join Cerberus.

I quit, your all a bunch of clowns.  Going to join a proper unit.

Yours furious Fury.

Modifié par PDHoops, 23 juillet 2012 - 03:12 .

[WestLakeDragon]

Dear Phantom,

HOW IS IT I CAN BLOCK YOUR SLASHES, BUT WHEN YOU STAB MY SHIELD IS GONE

Sincerely, N7 Paladin

[Broganisity]

Xerorei wrote...

Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda,

Here I am at, Camp Tuchanka
Camp is very entertaining, and they say that we'll have fun when bullets stop raining

I went fighting with Paladin Spivy
He took a bullet in the eye meat
You remember Slayer Skinner
He got ravager poisoning last night after pizza delivering

All the Quarians, hate the Shadows
and the control room is full of Salarians
and our Demolisher has a screw loose
he keeps picking fights with the Krogan and Batarians.

Now I don't want this should to scare ya
But my think my Fury bunkmate has contagious asthma
You remember, Destroyer Hardy
The engineers are about to organize a searching party.

Wait a minute, it stopped rainin.
Shuttles comin, so we're runnin.
Running hard now, gee that's better.
Mudda Fadda would you please discard this letter.

I smiled when I read yours. Smiled too much.

[WarGriffin]

To N7 Rio Team

Demolisher #011 would like you to stop pillaging her grenades... and trying to sneak a peek of her ass.

Sorry guys funs over

Slayer 001 KL



To Batarian StateArms

Yes, I'm writing about my order on the custom blade armor and Blade launcher omnitool option?

Slayer 001 KL

Modifié par WarGriffin, 23 juillet 2012 - 09:34 .

[Perkocet13]

To N7 operatives.

Look I know you guys are the best and all, but you could stop making a mess in my shuttle, I pick you up and drop you off, and you leave your rations everywhere, bullet casings and armor and weapon attachments all of my shuttle. Please pick up after yourselves, especially you paladin, last night you left your shield on one of the seats.Thanks

your shuttle pilot

[ABNDT]

Fellow N7 operatives,

I am not German. Nor am I blue. Nor am I fuzzy.

That is all.

N7 Slayer

[Vault Boy X360]

Dear Phantom

Can't
(teleport)
touch
(teleport)
this.
(teleport)

Sincerely,
N7 Slayer

[Atrumitos]

To Destroyer,

I know you love it when I feed you ammo... it's what we were told us back at the academy after all, but seriously can you STOP USING MY GRENADES? It's all they taught me to use and without them I feel left out.

Love and hugs, Demolisher.

PS: If you look at fury's butt one more time I'll have your helmet replaced with a kestrel come next mission.

[WarGriffin]

Dear Rio Team

Due to constant complaints from the Demolisher units, i'd like to point out that our base is one of the more well stocked postions on Earth. please use the ammo boxes instead of the pylons.


N7 slayer 001 KL

[Broganisity]

Atrumitos wrote...

To Destroyer,

I know you love it when I feed you ammo... it's what we were told us back at the academy after all, but seriously can you STOP USING MY GRENADES? It's all they taught me to use and without them I feel left out.

Love and hugs, Demolisher.

PS: If you look at fury's butt one more time I'll have your helmet replaced with a kestrel come next mission.

Dear Demolisher,

Uhhh...I think you maybe have missent that message, Demo-girl.

Sincerely, Paladin.

PS: Could you give me Shadow's contact information? She's really hard to track down.