299 réponses à ce sujet

[dirty console peasant]

Mordred_Moridin wrote...

Dear fellow N7 teammates,

This is a "pylon", not a pole and no matter how many $1 bills you throw at me I will not start dancing on it.

The N7 Demolisher

P.S.: Would whomever stole my grenades please give them back. I can make them work better than you can anyway.

Dear N7 Demolisher,

No you can't

Sincerely,
N7 Destroyer

[Lukeman1884]

I3arraqe wrote...

Dear Guardian,

Dont hate me cos you aint me!

Your superior friend

N7 Paladin

Dear N7 Paladin.

How about we get together, put up our shields, and walk through some enemy fire? Oh wait, never mind.

Your mobile friend,

Cerberus Guardian

[havoc373]

Dear Wall,

you cant stop me.

Sincirely,
N7 Slayer

Modifié par havoc373, 20 juillet 2012 - 09:15 .

[Pedactor]

Dear N7 Paladin,

We've decided to Snap Freeze you and put you in stasis until you learn how to walk with your shield out and not have the worst implementation in history for a great idea in ME3's history.

Pedactor Out

[WarGriffin]

Computron2000 wrote...

To all N7s in Earth Sector London,

Please stop sending in complaints that you get sent to dark, bombed out streets and asking to be sent to Rio instead. We have reports that a Bermuda Triangle effect happens in Rio swallowing our men, drones and packages. Be content we are not sending you to Palaven (yet)

Alliance High Command

N7 Slayer #001 KL

Really? I haven't seen anything like that?

[Thoragoros]

Pedactor wrote...

Dear N7 Paladin,

We've decided to Snap Freeze you and put you in stasis until you learn how to walk with your shield out and not have the worst implementation in history for a great idea in ME3's history.

Pedactor Out

Dear Pedactor,

Snap Freeze is mine...and no you may not borrow it.  Stasis belongs to my pet Asari, and no you may not borrow her.

Sincerely,
N7 Paladin

Modifié par Thoragoros, 20 juillet 2012 - 09:38 .

[Archontor]

Pedactor wrote...

Dear N7 Paladin,

We've decided to Snap Freeze you and put you in stasis until you learn how to walk with your shield out and not have the worst implementation in history for a great idea in ME3's history.

Pedactor Out

The worst?

 

Catalyst

[Broganisity]

Dear N7 Spec Ops Team,

Why don't you love me anymore? I thought we were friends. Comrades. Remember that time when I dove in front of that Banshee, slammed my shield into the ground to block its warp, then proceeded to tank it? Or that time I dove out of cover to shield you from Ravager fire when uploading some data to Alliance Command? Or that time husks were swarming your sniper nest and I swatted them over the edge?

Those were some good times, right? I know we've had some disagreements in the past, and I know I've made some mistakes...you know: You say I'm an engineer because I have no biotics...but we can work this out! I'll work extra hard on my defensive capabilities to better shield you from incoming danger! I'll knock back enemies that get too close and freeze them so they can't grab you again!

The term 'Sentinel' is used to describe someone who protects someone else. A Guardian, and baby: I'll be your Knight in Shining Armor until the day I die, if you'll just give me another chance. Together we'll burst through the enemy forces with our tech and take back our homes!

Sincerely,

N7 Paladin.

P.S. Could you stop shooting at my shield in between enemy waves? These things aren't fun to fix, you know!

[skergx120]

Shad Croly wrote...

Dear N7 Paladin,

Your request for a personalized Omni-Shield: Circular design, multiple concentric array with star center point, blue/red/white light coloration, has been denied for the 41st time. Please refrain from submitting this request again.

- N7 Special Operatives Research and Development Department

I just can't seem to stop laughing now.

[N7Kopper]

Archontor wrote...

Pedactor wrote...

Dear N7 Paladin,

We've decided to Snap Freeze you and put you in stasis until you learn how to walk with your shield out and not have the worst implementation in history for a great idea in ME3's history.

Pedactor Out

The worst?

 

Catalyst

Dear Catalyst,

You got patched. You were that good of an idea that our benevolent masters behind the forth wall fixed you.

About to be rubbed out for breaking said forth wall,
N7-*urk*

[Captain Kibosh]

Dear Alliance Command:

Why the hell weren't any N7 personnel assigned to my squad on the Normandy? I'm only trying to save the f**king galaxy!

Sincerely,
Commander Shepard

Enclosed: Kai Leng's broke-@ss sword (no thanks to you guys).

[ABNDT]

Dear Freeg, Vorcha Division:

I understand that my red T5-V battlesuit is quite bulky. However, there is still a human inside it. I am not a geth prime, or a "BIG MASHEEN," as you call it. The lack of flashlight head should be kind of a giveaway. Please refrain from using your Flamer on me in the future; it's hot enough in this thing already.

Sincerely,
N7 Destroyer, Company #326

P.S. I apologize for depriving you of Bloodlust fodder during that Ontarom mission. I just get going with my Typhoon, and, well, you know how it is.

[Notorious T.R.E]

Dear N7 Fury
Based upon Several Patents I must Sue You For Use Of The Hood

Sincerly
Kasumi Goto / Apple Inc

[Rhayak]

Dear Cerberus Nemesis

HOLD STILL YOU DAMN ****!!!!!!

Your Truly

Horde, Geth Infiltrator

Modifié par Rhayak, 21 juillet 2012 - 09:59 .

[jacob92883]

Dear N7 Paladin

Please learn to move and shoot with your free hand, I mean even those dumb as **** cerberus guys can and theirs weighs almost a metric ton. And yours is part of your omni tool. You better have a damn good excuse.

Signed
Every other N7 operative in the galaxy

[Untonic]

Dbohr wrote...

To: Cerberus Command

N7 Shadow [Shadow Strike] Phantom
N7 Shadow [Shadow Strike] Phantom
N7 Shadow [Shadow Strike] Phantom
N7 Shadow [Shadow Strike] Phantom

Payback is a b**ch, eh?

Love,
N7 Shadow

PS: Send more Phantoms.

I love you.

[Inject-]

To: N7 Paladin

I appreciate your shielding. Can you please tell the Engineer to start dancing on that Pole/Pylon?

Signed, Geth Infiltrator

[Invellous]

To: Cerberus Phantom

Look behind you.

Love,
N7 Shadow Operative

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: N7 Slayer Operative

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have any Ultra Rares. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return my outfit now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Kai Leng

[Inject-]

Invellous wrote...

To: N7 Slayer Operative

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have any Ultra Rares. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return my outfit now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Kai Leng

To : N7 Slayer Operative

We have been building consensus and have come to the conclusion that Kai Leng is mad bro.

Sent From : Geth Infiltrator

Modifié par Inject-, 21 juillet 2012 - 10:19 .

[Xendless]

Dear N7 Fury

Please invest in some deodorant, your noxious body stench is enough to take down a Brute

Sincerely, Phantom trying to do her job

[Foxtrot813]

To: N7 Biotic Spec Ops Division

It has come to my attention that there is a major flaw in our new "phase" suits. During a Field Op, I attempted to use said phase system to pass through a solid surface. Normally, I pop out on the other side and can continue my flailing. On this particular occasion, however, I didn't come back. At first, I thought the infinite hubris of science had finally claimed me as a victim, but as my vision cleared and my clarity restored, I realized I had simply removed myself from existence as we know it. I've never been a spiritual man, but I saw some pretty crazy ish that I am in no way equipped to describe in the following form. Literally. The page isn't long enough.

Now granted, I'm no expert on the application of phase technology. In fact, I don't think anyone told us how to use these things. I'm pretty sure most of us are just winging it (please send manuals next time). One thing I am nearly certain of though, sending us on mind-bending voyages into alternate planes of reality that cause us to question the very idea of our metaphysical being cannot be an intended feature. I wake up with a strong headache now and I keep dreaming about strange, slothful pig-like creatures sitting atop piles of credits as they lazily watch robots walk down a hallway. This is not normal, and frankly I'm disappointed this wasn't caught by the team who developed these suits in the first place.

If we could get any information regarding a recall or a "hotfix" we could apply ourselves during downtime, that'd be nice.

- Demigod of the outer realm, N7 Slayer

P.S. I'm pretty sure my sword was killing stuff on its own while I was on the shores of oblivion, there was far more brain-matter on it than usual. This also needs to be fixed.

[Broganisity]

jacob92883 wrote...

Dear N7 Paladin

Please learn to move and shoot with your free hand, I mean even those dumb as **** cerberus guys can and theirs weighs almost a metric ton. And yours is part of your omni tool. You better have a damn good excuse.

Signed
Every other N7 operative in the galaxy

Dear Everyone else,

I don't want to freeze my toes off.

Sincerely, N7 Paladin

[Qror_pl]

Dear Reaper Forces,
If reapers made you by putting tech in organic creatures, so that you're synthetic now, why the hell I can't hack you?! Same thing with Cerberus Forces!

Kisses,
Female Quarian Infiltrator

[Atrumitos]

Dear N7 Paladin,

For all the n7 gear you got, I still won't budge when you hit me with your shield. Plus I can move with my shield out. Get some real training bro. Join Cerberus.

Sincerely, Guardian.

[jacob92883]

Dear N7 Paladin

Check the contents of your foot locker. Everyone in the galaxy, yes even those criminals on Omega, chipped in to buy you some insulated socks. Please wear them so you no longer drag the team down and cost us all our lives. Thank you, you cheap bastard.

Sincerely,
Everyone everywhere