Starring!
Snarky Reaver Hawke, the handsome lech of a hero.
Merrill, the lovable romance option.
Anders, the unlikable but incredibly useful healer.
Tallis, the dead weight.
Tallis goes down quicker than a ten year veteran at the Blooming Rose because frankly I couldn't care less about her. Get out of the way of my 2500 damage mighty blows AND MAYBE YOU'D BE WORTH SOMETHIN', SON.
It starts off with the waves of guards and qunari, and those aren't too much of an issue. Merrill drops once, but Anders brings her back and the fight continues. I can already tell this is going to be a real slobberknocker of a fight, but I had -no idea- what to expect [this is my first time playing the DLC].
We're under control. Anders is droppin' heals on Merrill and I as we use our sweet blood magic and reaver abilities to sacrifice health for a delicious, delicious punchfisting holocaust.
And then TRAGEDY STRIKES. Duke Prosper calls in Leopold, which frankly seems like a strange name for a Wyvern and also I didn't find the poison for in the stealth mission, what do I know I'm just saying he looked more like a Ulysses, and he starts roughin' us up. Anders drops, but I bring him back with a Mythal's Favor I had on hand. My last one. That becomes relevant later, boys n' girls.
We get Leopold to half health, and then Duke Prosper mounts that wyvern like a ten year veteran at the Blooming Ro- wow, deja vu.
ANYWAY.
This is where it gets real.
We fight hard, but this is just getting insane. Out of potions, Anders is struggling to keep his mana up, and then Duke Prosper starts laying down huge waves of explosive arrows and calling in more and more guards. After about six or seven minutes of fighting, disaster! Due to a bank error in the Duke's Favor, he collects $100. By which I mean goodnight, Anders and Merrill. They served me faithfully, Valhalla take them.
So now, the final act. It's just me, Duke Prosper, Leopold, and a random guard who doesn't quite understand that nameless mooks don't actually belong in dramatic showdowns. So I stabbed him in the head a lot until my point was gotten across.
"KILL!" Prosper cries, shooting me with a load of jade ejaculate.
"Gross!" Hawke replies valiantly. Leopold charges, and the Duke goes scrabbling over the cliff as Hawke deftly steps aside. In a decidedly not-at-all morally ambiguous maneuver, our hero drains a great deal of health from Leopold's very soul to restore his own.
And so it goes. With all the agility, experience and killing instinct of a ten-year veteran at the - templar order! Got you with that one, I've got many tricks, like a ten-year veteran at the Blooming DAMN IT - Hawke avoids charge after charge, beating Leopold and Propser into submission, wearing down the last 35% health or so by his oh so stylish lonesome. As the Duke suffers a vertically daunting demise, Hawke helps his awestruck allies up, makes out with Merrill, plays a sweet guitar solo, and shoots off flares into the night sky.
And that is the tale of how I defeated Mark of the Assassin on Nightmare.
The End.
OR IS IT?
?!
¿
Modifié par Disastersaurus, 03 août 2012 - 01:23 .
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