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[The Twilight God]

double post

Modifié par The Twilight God, 20 août 2012 - 12:32 .

[The Twilight God]

THE CANON
The Book of the Love Interest.
 
Chapter 1

 
1. The Canon dictates that Liara T’soni is the canonical romance for Commander John or Jane Shepard.
 
2. Liara T’Soni has her own recruitment mission in which Shepard rescues the damsel in distress. 
 
3. Liara T’soni’s romance will override that of Ashley Williams or Kaiden Alenko. 
 
4. When propositioned for a threesome, Liara T’soni does not shy away. Given Shepard’s choices, Liara is favored in 2 to 1.
 
5. Liara has intimate knowledge of Shepard’s very being; a connection that no other love interest will ever have.
 
6. Liara can dance better than Ashley or Kaiden.
 
7. Liara has an extended sex scene (i.e. Liara’s is better than Ashley and Kaiden’s).
 
8. Ashley and Kaiden are inconsequential. Liara is mandatory and critical to Shepard’s success.
 

Chapter 2

 
1. During the opening of Mass Effect 2, Liara has her own special armor which is aesthetically superior to pathetic phoenix armor of Kaidan/Ashley. Have you seen the horrible stats on that crap armor?
 
2. Liara’s presense in Mass Effect 2 is far greater than Ashley or Kaiden’s. Liara gives hugs AND kisses when they meet. Ashley and Kaiden give hugs and attitude.
 
3. Liara’s follow-up is more than a mere email like Ashley or Kaidan, which is matched by the likes of Morlan’s add for penis enhancement.
 
4. Liara does not take a dump on Shepard for wanting to protect human colonies and knows her man well enough to trust and support him.
 
5. Liara risked life a limb to ensure Shepard’s returned because she could not bear to let him go. Kaidan would have hauled her to prison and Ashley would have probably shot Miranda in the face simply because she was with Cerberus and left Shepard to rot in the Shadow Broker’s (and therefore the Collectors) claws.
 
6. Liara has her own awesome DLC.
 

Chapter 3

 
1. Shepard is macking on Liara as soon as you see her on Mars. Ashley/Kaidan just continue nagging.
 
2. Liara’s romance spans through all 3 games in the Trilogy. Tali, Garrus, Ashley and Kaidan's do not.
 
3. Garrus and Tali use each other for a good time if Shepard isn't involved with either. Liara is celibate as nobody is remotely comparable to Shepard her her mind's eye.

4. Liaras sex scene is 4 whole seconds longer than Ashley and Kaidan's. Ashley and Garrus scenes are a joke.
 
5. In the Destroy ending it is only Liara who could magically know Shepard is alive at that moment. All the other LI's are just placeholders for her. That's why all the male LI's walk up to the wall with female animations.
 

Therefore, let it be known henceforth that the asari, Liara T’soni, is the official canonical love of Commander John/Jane Shepard, first human spectre, Champion of the Alliance and Hero of the Citadel.
 
So sayeth The Canon!!!

Modifié par The Twilight God, 20 août 2012 - 12:31 .

[GarrusIsMyBro]

Nope. I am the canon LI.

Modifié par GarrusIsMyBro, 20 août 2012 - 12:27 .

[Nyxia]

Calm your horses! We all know Wrex is, but off-screen.
I mean, look at how sexy his scars are, chicks and dudes dig them.

[Taboo]

There is no canon LI because each players canon is unique.

Some people's canon LI is Tali and no one else.

Mine is Miranda and no one else.

This way no one is left out.

[10K]

The Twilight God wrote...

THE CANON
The Book of the Love Interest.
 
Chapter 1

 
1. The Canon dictates that Liara T’soni is the canonical romance for Commander John or Jane Shepard.
 
2. Liara T’Soni has her own recruitment mission in which Shepard rescues the damsel in distress. 
 
3. Liara T’soni’s romance will override that of Ashley Williams or Kaiden Alenko. 
 
4. When propositioned for a threesome, Liara T’soni does not shy away. Given Shepard’s choices, Liara is favored in 2 to 1.
 
5. Liara has intimate knowledge of Shepard’s very being; a connection that no other love interest will ever have.
 
6. Liara can dance better than Ashley or Kaiden.
 
7. Liara has an extended sex scene (i.e. Liara’s is better than Ashley and Kaiden’s).
 
8. Ashley and Kaiden are inconsequential. Liara is mandatory and critical to Shepard’s success.
 

Chapter 2

 
1. During the opening of Mass Effect 2, Liara has her own special armor which is aesthetically superior to pathetic phoenix armor of Kaidan/Ashley. Have you seen the horrible stats on that crap armor?
 
2. Liara’s presense in Mass Effect 2 is far greater than Ashley or Kaiden’s. Liara gives hugs AND kisses when they meet. Ashley and Kaiden give hugs and attitude.
 
3. Liara’s follow-up is more than a mere email like Ashley or Kaidan, which is matched by the likes of Morlan’s add for penis enhancement.
 
4. Liara does not take a dump on Shepard for wanting to protect human colonies and knows her man well enough to trust and support him.
 
5. Liara risked life a limb to ensure Shepard’s returned because she could not bear to let him go. Kaidan would have hauled her to prison and Ashley would have probably shot Miranda in the face simply because she was with Cerberus and left Shepard to rot in the Shadow Broker’s (and therefore the Collectors) claws.
 
6. Liara has her own awesome DLC.
 

Chapter 3

 
1. Shepard is macking on Liara as soon as you see her on Mars. Ashley/Kaidan just continue nagging.
 
2. Liara’s romance spans through all 3 games in the Trilogy. Tali, Garrus, Ashley and Kaidan's do not.
 
3. Garrus and Tali use each other for a good time if Shepard isn't involved with either. Liara is celibate as nobody is remotely comparable to Shepard her her mind's eye.

4. Liaras sex scene is 4 whole seconds longer than Ashley and Kaidan's. Ashley and Garrus scenes are a joke.
 
5. In the Destroy ending it is only Liara who could magically know Shepard is alive at that moment. All the other LI's are just placeholders for her. That's why all the male LI's walk up to the wall with female animations.
 

Therefore, let it be known henceforth that the asari, Liara T’soni, is the official canonical love of Commander John/Jane Shepard, first human spectre, Champion of the Alliance and Hero of the Citadel.
 
So sayeth The Canon!!!

This is sad, because it's true. I hereby witness the invocation of Liara's cannon, of being the one true romance to Commander Shepard. 

[ZajoE38]

Well played OP, thumbs up ))

[Comsky159]

Dat...personality

[Sousabird]

No there is no cannon. If you start without a previous save you have no LI,
therefore logically the cannon Shep is forever alone

[BatmanPWNS]

I approve , OP.

[JaceBelerin]

I thought you had proof OP. Now you got my hopes up for nothing.

[Bolt-Action]

Conniving_Eagle wrote...

And could romancing Tali save the galaxy?

I didn't think so...

I wasn't aware romancing any of the L1's would "save the galaxy" 

[Eclipse merc]

NO wai man, Liara ees

[Bolt-Action]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, liara is not an available L1 in ME2, only 1 and 3

[10K]

Bolt-Action wrote...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, liara is not an available L1 in ME2, only 1 and 3

She has a continued romance in ME2, but you couldn't start a knew one with her.

[AVPen]

mosesarose wrote...

Bolt-Action wrote...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, liara is not an available L1 in ME2, only 1 and 3

She has a continued romance in ME2, but you couldn't start a knew one with her.

If by "continued romance" you actually mean "a peck on the lips followed by a 'Sorry, I can't join you cause I'm too busy, but you wanna hack stuff for me?' reply", then the same could be said that the VS also got a "continued romance" in ME2. 

[Kaall]

The cannon can be whatever it is, i don't care.

My fav is Miranda, and i don't care if she is not cannon, that is the way i play, and it will always be.

In kotor, the light side ending is cannon, but i don't care i always play dark side, In K2, the Exile's canon if female, but i just cannot imagine playing a character i can customize as any other gender than my own, therefore i will always play it as a male.

[robertthebard]

Bolt-Action wrote...

Conniving_Eagle wrote...

And could romancing Tali save the galaxy?

I didn't think so...

I wasn't aware romancing any of the L1's would "save the galaxy" 

Sure it will, a happy Shepard is a killin' all the Reapers Shepard.  A sexually frustrated Shepard will lose concentration at bad times, and probably think that Refusal is the best option.  /hide.

[ManOfSteel]

No. If it's anyone, it's Liara.
I prefer Ashley myself, but Liara is a whole lot better than Tali. As both a character and a Love Interest.

Modifié par DoomHK, 20 août 2012 - 05:23 .

[spirosz]

Isn't Tali with Garrus?!?!?!

[Boydsan]

Are there not more than one type of playing cards?

She is only the Queen with the N7 card deck. Yet Shepard and Miranda were both Spades.  Tali and Garrus are both hearts adnd queen and king, repsectively.

Modifié par Boydsan, 20 août 2012 - 03:37 .

[SNascimento]

There is no canon in ME, but characters (LIs) are a long way from being treated equally.