I could buy his edit, if it ended on Mars with "picks Ash up and lovingly throws her out of the airlock".The Twilight God wrote...
ashlover mark 2 wrote...
The Twilight God wrote...
THE CANON
The Book of the Love Interest.
Chapter 1
1. The Canon dictates that Liara T’soni is the canonical romance for Commander John or Jane Shepard. Fail: no fact to support this. shepard starts off with no LI no matter what gender you pick at the start of a new game.
2. Liara T’Soni has her own recruitment mission in which Shepard rescues the damsel in distress. Fail: shepard saves everyone at one point or another, by this logic everyones a cannon LI.
3. Liara T’soni’s romance will override that of Ashley Williams or Kaiden Alenko. Fail: not really.once you are in a actual relationship with either of them you cannot pursue liara. you can only get with liara during the intermission periods of ashley or kaidans romance at which point they are not togther just working through their issues.
4. When propositioned for a threesome, Liara T’soni does not shy away. Given Shepard’s choices, Liara is favored in 2 to 1. Fail: dosent mean crap. just means that ash and kaidan think your gross at that point and have lost interest. since liara has no qulams about it and youve already expressed interest in liara the game eliminates ash and kaidan and only liara is left. you can then cheat on liara in ME2. if this made her truly cannon then the mechanics of ME2 would deny you the ablitiy to cheat on her.
5. Liara has intimate knowledge of Shepard’s very being; a connection that no other love interest will ever have. Fail: liara just gets it easier and faster. theirs nothing that liara finds out about shepard in the mind melds that shepard wouldnt tell ashley or kaidan later on down the road in their relationship.
6. Liara can dance better than Ashley or Kaiden. Fail: thats up for endless rounds of debate, and is merely an
opinon. im going to assume you were just jokeing.
7. Liara has an extended sex scene (i.e. Liara’s is better than Ashley and Kaiden’s). Fail: its almost exactly the same except for the extra shot of liaras ass and the pink mist. and its just to show a mystical aspect to liara, that haveing sex with an asari is diffrent. dosent mean better sex at all. as some people may not appreaciate haveing someone in your head during an intimate moment. shepard himself can say he dosent like the mind melds.
8. Ashley and Kaiden are inconsequential. Liara is mandatory and critical to Shepard’s success. Fail: ashley and kaidan both provide combat assistance to shepard during battles.on every mission either one of them is on increases the odds that shepard will live and succede in his or her mission. as shepard would surely have a extremly hard time
faceing down hordes of hostiles on his own. that is important. ashley or kaidan will by accident activate the beacon and shepard will have to help them escape. if not for that shepard would not have been given the warning of the reapers and he would not have the vital information to find illos. both ashley and kaidan carry shepard back to the ship. if they werent there who knows what would have happened to shepard if he didnt get immideate medical attention, althoguh they cause the accident they in turn rescue him. lastly both kaidan and ash have vital roles during the virmire mission one must go with the salarians while one must arm and defend the bomb. withought the VS led salarian team the Normandy would not be able to land and drop the bomb off due to powerfull AA guns. and withought the sacrifised VS the bomb would not have gone off. withought either of their efforts the team would have all been killed or the mission would have failed. insureing an unlimited army of krogan for the reapers to assault the citadel with. in addition to an army of geth. those roles are just as important as liaras. who only sifts through shepards brain to help him make sense of the visions hes seeing.
Chapter 2
1. During the opening of Mass Effect 2, Liara has her own special armor which is aesthetically superior to pathetic phoenix armor of Kaidan/Ashley. Have you seen the horrible stats on that crap armor? Fail: this dose not matter in the slightest. im going to assume your jokeing.
2. Liara’s presense in Mass Effect 2 is far greater than Ashley or Kaiden’s. Liara gives hugs AND kisses when they meet. Ashley and Kaiden give hugs and attitude. Fail: liara already knew shepard was alive and she would see him again and that he would be with cerberus. ashley and kaidan had to find out through second hand info. and shepard acts like a complete tool on horizon. offers no detalied explantions as to why hes doing what hes doing and why hes doing it with evil terrorists. in the end ash and kaidan were right anyways.
3. Liara’s follow-up is more than a mere email like Ashley or Kaidan, which is matched by the likes of Morlan’s add for penis enhancement. Fail: bioware just played faveroites with liara with LOTSB...and its dlc. if you didnt download it there is no liara romance follow up until ME3.
4. Liara does not take a dump on Shepard for wanting to protect human colonies and knows her man well enough to trust and support him. Fail: ashley and kaidan are not upset because shepards trying to save human colonies. they are upset with shepard because hes doing it with cerberus. who are just as evil as the reapers and who tried to kill them both on numerous occasions. who also makes humanity look bad in the eyes of aliens around the galaxy and kills alliance personnel and citizens.
5. Liara risked life a limb to ensure Shepard’s returned because she could not bear to let him go. Kaidan would have hauled her to prison and Ashley would have probably shot Miranda in the face simply because she was with Cerberus and left Shepard to rot in the Shadow Broker’s (and therefore the Collectors) claws. Fail: liara outside of tali is the only other charecter who can have an in game relationship with shepard who cant be killed or cant be denied permision to board the normandy. the developers just made a choice to go with liara. we have no idea what ash or kaidan would or wouldnt do since they were not put in that situation. to say what they would do with certainty is faulty because its just your own speculation.
6. Liara has her own awesome DLC. Fail: so dose javik.
Chapter 3
1. Shepard is macking on Liara as soon as you see her on Mars. Ashley/Kaidan just continue nagging. Fail: have already gone into this above. shepard and ash/kaidan have issues to work through so it would be inappropriate for him/her to start flirting with them right off the bat. shepard dose however tell ash that he wants her with him no matter what.ashley softens up and when shes hurt shepard loveingly carries her back to the ship and rushs her to the citadel. also ashley/kaidan help and save liara during that same mission.
2. Liara’s romance spans through all 3 games in the Trilogy. Tali, Garrus, Ashley and Kaidan's do not. Fail: you could make a case that ash and kaidans do or that liaras dose not. but i wont.
3. Garrus and Tali use each other for a good time if Shepard isn't involved with either. Liara is celibate as nobody is remotely comparable to Shepard her her mind's eye. Fail: this just means liara dosent know what "im not into you means". kaidan may have dated someone. but ash never did. so ash deserves the same merit as liara here for the sake of fairness. unless of course your bias.
4. Liaras sex scene is 4 whole seconds longer than Ashley and Kaidan's. Ashley and Garrus scenes are a joke. Fail: idk about garrus as ive never seen it but ashleys love scene focus's more on intimacy and love where as liaras dialogue is mostly filler until they bang each other. notice how much detail ashleys romance scene has over liaras.the hand holding, the gentle touching and caressing of each others faces. i prefer the level of emotion and love expresed between ash and shepard over watching liara rideing shepard as if she were in a rodeo. but again this is not a fact just your and my opinon.
5. In the Destroy ending it is only Liara who could magically know Shepard is alive at that moment. All the other LI's are just placeholders for her. That's why all the male LI's walk up to the wall with female animations. Fail: unless ive missed some line of dialogue or codex entry that says asari mind melds grants the asari an ability to sense the life force of any of the people theyve melded with, im going to assume you were jokeing.
Therefore, let it be known henceforth that the asari, Liara T’soni, is the official canonical love of Commander John/Jane Shepard, first human spectre, Champion of the Alliance and Hero of the Citadel.
So sayeth The Canon!!!
Fixed.
Fail: Each chapter represents each game. The fact that you're even seriously replying to it is also fail on your part.
edit: with the line "do you trust me now"?
Modifié par robertthebard, 21 août 2012 - 02:01 .
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