759 réponses à ce sujet

[Tirigon]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...
That's actually true. I am a religious guy, as difficult as that may sound lol

You are joking, right?
Not that I would mind, but the thought of a religious person being able to write satire (and make sexual jokes in every post:devil:) is quite the opposite of every experience I have had with religious people so far.

Modifié par Tirigon, 02 janvier 2010 - 01:26 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

[quote]KnightofPhoenix wrote...

[quote]Tirigon wrote...[quote]
Wha???? nonono.  Sex wasn't part of the package.  This contest is based on beauty and personality only, right?  I mean no respected host of a Miss Fereldon Beauty Pageant would ever have sex with the contestants, right?  
[/quote]
Sure. KnightofPhoenix is a virgin, and he has taken vows to stay so, don´t you know?[/quote]
That's actually true. I am a religious guy, as difficult as that may sound lol
[/quote]

 [/quote]

That's true.  I saw him talking to a group of young pretty chantry initiates just the other day.  Oddly enough, he was taking them to his room.  I thought that was a bit strange though.  Probably just getting them to teach him the chant or something. 

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 02 janvier 2010 - 01:28 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

Tirigon wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...
That's actually true. I am a religious guy, as difficult as that may sound lol

You are joking, right?
Not that I would mind, but the thought of a religious person being able to write satire (and make sexual jokes in every post:devil:) is quite the opposite of every experience I have had with religious people so far.

lol Well, it's my middle eastern blood. All of our jokes have sexual references
I think I got it from the Arab side of my family mostly.
Eh, just having fun.

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...
That's true.  I saw him talking to a group of young pretty chantry initiates just the other day.  Oddly enough, he was taking them to his room.  I thought that was a bit strange though.  Probably just getting them to teach him the chant or something. 

No, just watching them do all the work. I still haven't lost it, right?

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 02 janvier 2010 - 01:29 .

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...
That's true.  I saw him talking to a group of young pretty chantry initiates just the other day.  Oddly enough, he was taking them to his room.  I thought that was a bit strange though.  Probably just getting them to teach him the chant or something. 

Oh, it´s THAT kind of "religious" then. I see.

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...
That's
true.  I saw him talking to a group of young pretty chantry initiates
just the other day.  Oddly enough, he was taking them to his room.  I
thought that was a bit strange though.  Probably just getting them to
teach him the chant or something. ../../../images/forum/emoticons/joyful.png

No, just watching them do all the work. I still haven't lost it, right? ../../../images/forum/emoticons/tongue.png

I hear a beautiful voice with french accent talking of fruits all of a sudden....

Modifié par Tirigon, 02 janvier 2010 - 01:32 .

[Herr Uhl]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...
That's true.  I saw him talking to a group of young pretty chantry initiates just the other day.  Oddly enough, he was taking them to his room.  I thought that was a bit strange though.  Probably just getting them to teach him the chant or something. 

No, just watching them do all the work. I still haven't lost it, right?

Oh yes, he watches them, always 

[mrofni]

The announcer is full of sh*t. He allows a wolf that turns into a plant girl, a demon, a girl with a dick, but won't allow a women who was reincarnated as a dragon. Totally f*cking biased.

[KnightofPhoenix]

mrofni wrote...

The announcer is full of sh*t. He allows a wolf that turns into a plant girl, a demon, a girl with a dick, but won't allow a women who was reincarnated as a dragon. Totally f*cking biased.

Hey hey. Technically, the plant girl was first. Zathrian put the spirit in a wolf. A demon who is sexy! Sex change isn't a possibility in Ferelden, so Anora has no dick. And the dragon is not really Andraste.
In addition, I can picture myself with any of the above in bed, except a dragon.

[Taleroth]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...
In addition, I can picture myself with any of the above in bed, except a dragon.

Lack of imagination, IMO.

[KnightofPhoenix]

Taleroth wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...
In addition, I can picture myself with any of the above in bed, except a dragon.

Lack of imagination, IMO.

Mea culpa. I can imagine it, but it involves too much pain for my taste.

[mrofni]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...
Mea culpa. I can imagine it, but it involves too much pain for my taste.

All good sex involves pain. Shianni can testify to that. And Anora. And Alistair. And Sten. And Zevran. And Oghren. And Morrigan. And the Broodmother. And Andraste. (She's married to the Maker after all) And post reincarnation Andraste. (Where do you think you're getting that blood from?) And Duncan. And Teegan. And Loghain. And Leliana. And Isolde. And Desire Demons. And the Lady of the Forest. And Ser Cauthrien. (The **** Loghain puts her through lets the bedroom get hot) And Bella. (I'm sure one of those nights the knights got too drunk and gangbanged her ass) And Kolgrim. (If he gets the blood from Andraste imagine what she does to him)

And if that isn't enough proof, I don't know what is.

[KnightofPhoenix]

And now ladies and gents, if you thought the Lady of the Forest was weird, wait till you see the Desire Demon!
http://fc06.devianta...y_fenokas23.jpg
http://images4.wikia...esire_Demon.jpg

Non-mages may never comprehend what demons are. The Chantry will have us believe that all demons are evil ugly creatures. But as we can clearly see, not all demons are ugly. The Desire demon stands as a testemony to this! Sure, they are still evil, but who cares? Maybe they are just misunderstood? Be open minded will you! Compared to other demons, the Desire Demon is the most crafty and obviously seductive. And they are so hot that their hair is on fire!

Non-mages are usually turned into pets by the Demon....which doesn't sound so bad.....really....And mages are possessed by her. One more reason I am glad not to be a mage! Dying as a happy pet is better than something getting inside me and....it sounds even worse when I say it like that. But behind all those seemingly evil actions, can't there be a spirit seeking to live and be understood? We here in Miss Ferelden are known for our toleration and open mindness. That's why we, with complete sanity and self determination, invited a Desire Demon to participate in our show!

Please, welcome the lovely Demon into the realm of mortals!

"Greetings demon, please make your self comfortable."
Demon: "Why do you insist on calling me "demon"? I have a name you know. It's Yvenna."
"Oh I am sorry, I didn't know demons had names. I am sorry. Yvenna is a beautiful name."
Yvenna: "Why thank you. I am glad you like it"
*smiles* "I do. So, Yvenna. What can you tell us about yourself, as a demon."
Yvenna: "I just want to experience life, as you mortals do. Living in the fade is boring, it's almost like not living. I want to feel alive. I want to see....touch...and feel like you." *touches her boob*
"Aaaaah....I i i i i...I see....*sweating*....that's a legitimate desire..."
Yvenna: "Mmmhmmm"
"....eherm....cough cough...hmmm....so....eum....is living in the fade that boring and...lonely? What about the other demons?"
Yvenna: "Oh, they are hopeless. The sloth demons are toooo lazy! Rage demons are too angry they can't focus on pleasuring me. As for Pride demons...haha well let's just say that their ego is the only thing big about them" *giggles*
"haha..interesting"
Yvenna: "But you mortals...mmmm...you are something else entirely." *keeps touching herself*
*jaw drop* "....So you are doing all this because you are so deprived?"
Yvenna: *sad face, nods* "mmhmm....are you going to do something about it?"
"....me?...Me do something about it?...I i i....might....you know...keep you company. Always trying to help people, especially tourists haha...eherm"
Yvenna: "mmmm goooood. With me, you will find a whole new dimension of pleasure."
*speechless, eyes open, drooling* "..............."
Yvenna: "Bye for now" *evil laugh*

........Huh what? Where am I? Oh yea right, I remember! So...we just met the sad, sad lonely demon *sniff*. A poor soul that only wants to be loved *sniff*.We have to show her some love!
And after we, and by we I mean I, do that, we are going to recieve Branka here! Stay tuned!

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 02 janvier 2010 - 05:38 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...


Dying as a happy pet is better than something getting inside me and....it sounds even worse when I say it like that. 

Zevran: Ahhh, you've clearly never been to Antiva then, hmm?

[KnightofPhoenix]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...


Dying as a happy pet is better than something getting inside me and....it sounds even worse when I say it like that. 

Zevran: Ahhh, you've clearly never been to Antiva then, hmm?

"No my elven friend. And I keep telling you I don't want to experience it."

[amethyst_rose2009]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...


Dying as a happy pet is better than something getting inside me and....it sounds even worse when I say it like that. 

Zevran: Ahhh, you've clearly never been to Antiva then, hmm?

"No my elven friend. And I keep telling you I don't want to experience it."

Zevran is one persistant elf.

Meanwhile, Sophia and Andraste the dragon are still eagerly awaiting their turn on stage. 

*Sophia and Andraste go to feed on the audience until they get their moment to look beautiful*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 02 janvier 2010 - 06:00 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

Uugghhh ok fine. They will both show up. But that's only because you asked lol
But I don't have the warden keep DLC, so someone should keep me up to speed about Sophia. And give me ideas.
As for the dragon, I think Kolgrim will translate for her.

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 02 janvier 2010 - 06:01 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Uugghhh ok fine. They will both show up. But that's only because you asked lol
But I don't have the warden keep DLC, so someone should keep me up to speed about sOphia. And give me ideas.
As for the dragon, I think Kolgrim will translate for her.

Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

[KnightofPhoenix]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

I had the misfortune of knowing how she looks like
http://www.dragonage...denskeep004.jpg

I meant I don't know about her story. I don't know how I am going to present a rotten corpse while still managing to make it sound sexy lol

[amethyst_rose2009]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

I had the misfortune of knowing how she looks like
http://www.dragonage...denskeep004.jpg

I meant I don't know about her story. I don't know how I am going to present a rotten corpse while still managing to make it sound sexy lol

Oh, darn.  I tried Sophia, really I did.

Sophia: This one's sexiness is just too much for KnightofPhoenix to comprehend.  This one was once young and beautiful.  *Starts singing a very haunting (and disturbing) version of "Memories" *

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 02 janvier 2010 - 06:22 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

I had the misfortune of knowing how she looks like
http://www.dragonage...denskeep004.jpg

 Ewwww.  Oh my.  I never saw her up close before. *gag, cough*  

Still her eyes are kind of pretty.........sort of.

I was really thinking of the young (and more ......living) Sophia that you get to see when you play Warden's Keep.  She was pretty and it was really cool that they had a female leader of the gray wardens.  Oh well, there's still the dragon I guess.

[KnightofPhoenix]

Suddenly, I prefer being with a dragon also.

[Tirigon]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

I had the misfortune of knowing how she looks like
http://www.dragonage...denskeep004.jpg

I meant I don't know about her story. I don't know how I am going to present a rotten corpse while still managing to make it sound sexy lol

She´s ugly. And no, I´m not biased.
I don´t mind her "corpsiness", nor the fact that she´s rotten (well, I would if I had to accompany her to her room, but as this is KnightOfPhoenix´s job.........) BUT!!! that hair.... terrible, f*cking terrible.... Ugliest hair of all the contestants (including Andraste, lol...) and let´s not even start to talk about her way of dressing....

Edit: After a closer look, I have to say that both her hair and her clothing is OK compared to her mouth....
Oh damn you for posting that picture!!!! May the Maker punish you for that!:sick::sick:

Modifié par Tirigon, 02 janvier 2010 - 10:01 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

I had the misfortune of knowing how she looks like
http://www.dragonage...denskeep004.jpg

I meant I don't know about her story. I don't know how I am going to present a rotten corpse while still managing to make it sound sexy lol

She´s ugly. And no, I´m not biased.
I don´t mind her "corpsiness", nor the fact that she´s rotten (well, I would if I had to accompany her to her room, but as this is KnightOfPhoenix´s job.........) BUT!!! that hair.... terrible, f*cking terrible.... Ugliest hair of all the contestants (including Andraste, lol...) and let´s not even start to talk about her way of dressing....

Yeah, I have to agree her hair is rather blah, isn't it?  But I understand she probably didn't have a lot of time to mess with it since she was like the leader of the gray wardens and all. 

You didn't like her armor?!!   I really like her armor.  I always let my arcane warrior girl wear it after I ki......unmm, after Sophia kindly lets me borrow it.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...Ohhhh, you don't have warden's keep, so you don't know how Sophia looks.  Hmmmm, ok.

Sophia: This one is tall, young, sexy, strong, and beautiful with a body to die for and has a slight penchant for stealing souls and a slight intolerance toward mages who try to imprison her.

(she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit in some areas)

I had the misfortune of knowing how she looks like
http://www.dragonage...denskeep004.jpg

I meant I don't know about her story. I don't know how I am going to present a rotten corpse while still managing to make it sound sexy lol

Edit: After a closer look, I have to say that both her hair and her clothing is OK compared to her mouth....
Oh damn you for posting that picture!!!! May the Maker punish you for that!:sick::sick:

I know seriously, did he have to post that picture????  That made me completely withdraw Sophia from the contest.  KnightofPhoenix did that on purpose, I know he did.

[mrofni]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Suddenly, I prefer being with a dragon also.

So Andraste is in?

[Tirigon]

mrofni wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...
Mea culpa. I can imagine it, but it involves too much pain for my taste.

All good sex involves pain. Shianni can testify to that. And Anora. And Alistair. And Sten. And Zevran. And Oghren. And Morrigan. And the Broodmother. And Andraste. (She's married to the Maker after all) And post reincarnation Andraste. (Where do you think you're getting that blood from?) And Duncan. And Teegan. And Loghain. And Leliana. And Isolde. And Desire Demons. And the Lady of the Forest. And Ser Cauthrien. (The **** Loghain puts her through lets the bedroom get hot) And Bella. (I'm sure one of those nights the knights got too drunk and gangbanged her ass) And Kolgrim. (If he gets the blood from Andraste imagine what she does to him)

And if that isn't enough proof, I don't know what is.

You really want to make me mad at you, don´t you? Shianni is a witness that good sex does NOT involve pain (not necessarily, at least - you can always have your own ways though. Just not with her.)
And Alistair does not even KNOW SM, lest enjoy it.
And Zevran - ok, admittedly, 1 point for you:(.
And Oghren is a perverted dwarf, and he doesn´t know a f*ck from a bottle of beer, he doesn´t count.
Morrigan is actually quite cute and prefers to be the nice girl while in bed.
Broodmother is a BANNABLE THOUGHT! Lol, it´s what makes me want to introduce punishment for crimethink....
Andraste is a caste and virtuous girl (she´s married to the maker after all)
Duncan has a BEARD! Man, he does NOT have Sex, he has his BEARD!
Teagan? Dunno about him....
Leliana does not enjoy pain (though she likes some bondage:devil::devil:).
Isolde - you can only think she does enjoy pain because I would try to kill her, if I would ... accompany her.
Desire demons don´t enjoy pain (though the ones constantly trying to kill me enjoy dying, it seems:devil:)
Lady of the forest is such a nice girl she is still a virgin (well, at least she was when I met her last time. In the meantime, she was in this Show, so who knows?)
Bella.... 2nd point for you:crying::crying:
Ser Cauthrien and Anora: These are not women. Nor do they have sex. Unless you think sex involves treachery and killing.