759 réponses à ce sujet

[mrofni]

Tirigon wrote...

I dislike Lelianas shoes. I prefer her to wear nothing at all.

I agree. Her shoes are terrible. Tie her up and teach her the fundamentals of shoes and that bigger IS better.

[XOGHunter246]

lol

[KnightofPhoenix]

I think her shoes are nice actually. The choice of shoes reveals an individuals' personality.

[Euteras]

Great series Knight. Very fun lighthearted reading. You almost have me convinced on Morrigan. Its the whole shapeshifter thing. Most girls will do naughty nurse, naughty school girl, naughty teacher, or whatever along those lines. Morrigan does spiders, bears, and swarms. She floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. Why she's more sti.... er, talented than a gymnast.

[Arcacia]

I don't see what's so offending about this thread.... In fact, I find it quite amusing.



Beauty wise, I do think that Morrigan is the most beautiful, Lady of the Forest coming a close second, but overall, I'd probably go for Shianni, Anora is a *****.

[guitarbard]

I'd go for Morrigan any day. And the Isolde bit was HILARIOUS.

Modifié par AndrastesGrace, 29 décembre 2009 - 07:03 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

When all the candidates are presented, I think I will make a poll and you people get to vote.
Maybe even I will add commentary from the judges. Teagan, Loghain, Mad Hermit, Poetic Tree, Sten, Oghren and the like could be good judges wouldn't you agree?

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 29 décembre 2009 - 05:45 .

[Herr Uhl]

Oghren, Sten, the Hermit and the Poet Tree are essential.

[Selej]

Anora ftw!

[guitarbard]

She is rather attractive - almost dryad-like, though we all know what dryads are famous for... xD

[Apophis2412]

Muffin_Tops wrote...

I vote for the Lady of the Forest!!!! I mean c'mon shes half plant and all woman.. wait.. maybe we need a new category?

And she can turn into a wolf, if  you're into that sort of thing.

[Vergil_dgk]

Yeah, I'd go for Morrigan as well... it's that lower lip you see... the way it protrudes... Uh, Anora comes second for looks I guess, no one of the contestants are gonna win any personality contests in my oppinion.

[XOGHunter246]

The Hermit is like in world of his own like insane I doubt he would know why he there.

[Tirigon]

We need Vaughan as judge. Apparently he´s experienced with women.

And we should have Connor too. He´s possessed by a desire demon, and he represents the youthful point of view.

[Wompoo]

Morrigan looks like she has sucked 1 too many lemons, pursed lips for the fail (also I would rather get crabs then have anything to do with her)... give me the elf from the human noble origin, Shianni a close second (although she could do with some heavy facial work to remove the drunk wrinkles).

[Tirigon]

Wompoo wrote...

Morrigan looks like she has sucked 1 too many lemons, pursed lips for the fail (also I would rather get crabs then have anything to do with her)... give me the elf from the human noble origin, Shianni a close second (although she could do with some heavy facial work to remove the drunk wrinkles).

She has these wrinkles only when you see her the first time, and thats because you are still tired and dont see her clearly. Later she is the perfect beauty we all love. And the drinking thing... well, she had bad experiences, what with getting raped and all. But I´m sure she will stop drinking if we give her the love she deserves. And if not, well, I´d enjoy getting drunk with her.<3

[KnightofPhoenix]

And now ladies and gents, it's time we met Shianni!
http://images2.wikia...ianni_image.jpg

Born in the Denerim Elven alienage, like most of her kind, Shianni has had a hard life, some would say even tragic. But despite all of their problems, poverty and misery, the elves just keep on getting prettier and prettier! Isn't that weird? Despite being short compared to human females, elven gals still manage to look good and don't seem to age! If you are into exotic products...I mean respectable females, then elves are for you!

The board in Miss Ferelden has been debating for many days on whether we should consider elves as people or not. But we finally spared ourselves the hypocracy, since every single one of us has at least been with an elven woman before (and we hella join it!). And oh right, of course, we are also..egalitarian..eherm and we *read note in a monotone voice* respect everyone regardless of race, gender, creed or beauty....regardless of beauty? Yea right! In addition, Shianni has mounted an elven riot to gain entry into the competition, and here she is!
 
Ladies and gents, please welcome the maverick Shianni!

"Shianni, it's a pleasure. How are you today?"
Shianni: "Well human, I, like all other city elves, haven't eaten anything decent in weeks, I can't buy proper clothes, the stench in the alienage is killing me, my friends and I have been raped by a human lord, we are being quarantined by strange mages. So yea human, I am great. Fantastic."
"Oh...I....I see....."
Shianni: "Why so quiet now human? Is it because of guilt? Shame?"
"No..actually...I wanted to ask something...."
Shianni: "Ask."
"....Well....when you were...you know...by humans....you gotta admit though. Humans are much better than elven males, hein? haha"
Shianni: "What?...I.....no....this....not...UGGRRH! I can't believe you humans! I hate you!!"
"Sorry, but this show is supposed to be about beauty, sex and all that, not politics and trying to save your people from discrimination and all that."
Shianni:"It's not politics!"
"Yea yea, enough of that cutez" *pinchs her cheeks*
Shianni: "Enough! Don't touch me!" 
"But you are so cute with that temper of yours and "Let my people go!" hehe"
Shianni: "Unbelievable. Unbelievable. And just when I thought no human could possibly be worse than Vaughan!"
"Sure sure, but our interview is over I am afraid, so off you go" *little spank* 
Shianni: "Stop!! You pig!!"
"Hehe, and then they say we don't respect elves"

So ladies and gents, we demonstrated our toleration and love for diversity, by treating a female elf the same way we treat a human female. But stay tuned, because our next contestant, by popular demand, is Bella of redcliff!


 

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 29 décembre 2009 - 08:57 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

Muffin_Tops wrote...

I vote for the Lady of the Forest!!!! I mean c'mon shes half plant and all woman.. wait.. maybe we need a new category?

She walks on two legs, no fur, has boobs and the happy spot down there. She is a woman, fullstop
She's the Poison Ivy of dragon age.

[Tirigon]

As Leader of the Shianni Adoration society I have to express my anger about this racist, sexist and anti-Shiannist treatment in this show!!! Your interviewer has, along with his skill in Satire, once again shown he is a lewd, evil little human kiddy with no respect for the ancient races of Ferelden! We demand an official excuse for this treatment, preferrably by declaring Shianni the winner of this show!

[KnightofPhoenix]

Tirigon wrote...
As Leader of the Shianni Adoration society I have to express my anger about this racist, sexist and anti-Shiannist treatment in this show!!! Your interviewer has, along with his skill in Satire, once again shown he is a lewd, evil little human kiddy with no respect for the ancient races of Ferelden! We demand an official excuse for this treatment, preferrably by declaring Shianni the winner of this show!

The kid is trying. I mean, poor guy has been brainwashed into believing this. Plus, *sob*, his parents were killed by dalish elves *tears*......despite the fact that his human tribe came in peace...to conquer and subjugate them. 
But I am sure he will do better with Iona.

And since we admire the democratic concept of election, I am afraid Shianni will have to be elected like every other contestant. Let the people excercize their rationality and democratic power for once, on a show like this!

[fozfoster]

I nominate the Lady of the Forest.



Or maybe a Desire Demon...



partial nudity wins my vote.

[AntiChri5]

What about the woman who runs the pearl, Sanga? Always dissapointed there wasnt a YOU option.

[Tirigon]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Tirigon wrote...
As Leader of the Shianni Adoration society I have to express my anger about this racist, sexist and anti-Shiannist treatment in this show!!! Your interviewer has, along with his skill in Satire, once again shown he is a lewd, evil little human kiddy with no respect for the ancient races of Ferelden! We demand an official excuse for this treatment, preferrably by declaring Shianni the winner of this show!

The kid is trying. I mean, poor guy has been brainwashed into believing this. Plus, *sob*, his parents were killed by dalish elves *tears*......despite the fact that his human tribe came in peace...to conquer and subjugate them. 
But I am sure he will do better with Iona.

And since we admire the democratic concept of election, I am afraid Shianni will have to be elected like every other contestant. Let the people excercize their rationality and democratic power for once, on a show like this!

I guess this is all right then. But just so you know, if Shianni *does not* win the elections we will see this as a proof that this election is faked, just like the one that made Bush president, or every election in my home-country.

Btw, how come the poor kid is still alive if his people were killed by Dalish? Should they not have eaten him, then? When I was in school, we were taught the Dalish were a savage folk of barbarians who eat their prisoners, unless they are blonde, good-looking and female, in which case they put them to better use. Our teacher always went all red when telling this and had to go to the toilet very urgently afterwards.

[KnightofPhoenix]

fozfoster wrote...

I nominate the Lady of the Forest.

Or maybe a Desire Demon...

partial nudity wins my vote.

You are wise, I like you.