185 réponses à ce sujet

[zambot]

I realize I'm a little late to the party, but since I love this idea, I wanted to add my .02. One of the reasons the Dalish Elf origin was not very enjoyable to me was that it didn't tie back into the main plot at all. I think the compelling origin stories where the ones where some closure was achieved by playing the main plot. So, if you're going with Denerim guard (which is a good choice) you might consider a story that involves you working for Howe (or a corrupt captain if the idea of splicing Howe's conversations is too daunting) and being ordered to "restore order" to the alienage after the riots there, then getting the blame when the whole thing goes horribly wrong. It takes Duncan to save you from execution that is needed to placate the elves.



If/How you choose to carry out this order has a ton of great implications in the main plot and probably saves you a great deal of level building time.

[Jaldaen]

Zambot,



Thanks for the ideas. I've added them to my storyline notes.



Best Wishes,

Joseph

[Jaldaen]

Hello All,

I spent most of today hammering out two different origin intros. All of the words in these intros appear in some part of Duncan's dialogue. I am not sure how they will sound once they are spliced together, but this should give you an idea of where I'm headed with these stories. Anyways, without further ado, here's the intros:

Denerim Guard Intro:
You were born in Denerim, the largest city and capital of Ferelden. It is a place rife with political intrigue and beset by crime. As one of the city guards, your task is to protect the people of Denerim from thieves and killers. Unfortunately, the crime lords and noble families in the city do not make it easy for you or your comrades. Each day brings you a new set of problems and today is likely to be no different.

Blight Refugee Intro:
You have lived your entire life in a freehold near Lake Calenhad. It is a quiet and tightly-knit community, but rumors of a new Blight and recent darkspawn attacks in the surrounding area have convinced your father to seek refuge with your uncle within the city walls of Denerim. You have many preparations to make before your family departs tomorrow morning and leaves behind the only home you’ve ever known.

Militia Intro

You have lived your entire life in a quiet freehold near Lake Calenhad. However, when king Cailan sent out the call, your arl began enlisting men and women for his army. Your father, who once served in battle against the Orlesians, has sent you and your brother to do your duty and protect your country. He has taught you everything you know about how to fight. But will it be enough to survive the battles ahead…
Please let me know what you think of these intros. I welcome both positive comments and constructive criticisms.

Best Wishes,
Joseph

Modifié par Jaldaen, 12 janvier 2010 - 10:45 .

[Jaldaen]

Update: I'm still working on the storyboards for the Denerim Guard and Blight Refugee. Hopefully, I'll get one of them done this weekend and another one finished next week, then I'll present them for discussion and make a final decision on which direction to go it.



Best Wishes,

Joseph



PS: Although I like the Milita Man entry, it didn't get as much support as these two and I don't think I want to spend the extra time doing a storyboard for it, too. However, if I get inspired or find some extra time next week, then I might give it a go, too.

[mad_cat_prime]

Jaldaen, I have joined your group and interested in helping with story and idea creation. I have come up with some Origin stories, but it looks like you have made a decision on that. Is it too late to submit some that i have come up with reading the first few pages of this post? I have about 4 of them, 2 of them center around a knight in Denerim.

[Jaldaen]

Mad_cat_prime,



Feel free to send in your ideas, especially if they relate to the three storylines currently under consideration. I'm in the midst of storyboarding the Blight Refugee and Denerim Guard (Maximus is doing up a Milita-based one, too). You still have one more day before I start finalizing storyboards... and some of your ideas might spark the creative juices.



Best Wishes,

Joseph

[mad_cat_prime]

double post, please delete

Modifié par mad_cat_prime, 17 janvier 2010 - 09:34 .

[mad_cat_prime]

Awesome deal. Here are my ideas.



1. Human Commoner in Redcliff, who takes the notice of Alister, who then alerts Duncan.



2. A street kid who witnesses a murder. If you intervene, you may save a life, but are arrested for murder. If you do nothing, then you are hunted down by the real murder because you are a witness. Perhaps it could be some Noble or Guard and it would be their word against yours. This forces you to confront to killer and kill him, once again be put on trial. Duncan is at the trial, and he looks in your eyes and feels you are not responsible, but is impressed with your skill.



3. You are a Squire, having served already as a Page. The Knight you serve is helping you to very soon become a knight. Your knight is sent on a Mission to an Outpost in the woods, where you meet Duncan. Duncan pays hardly any attention to you, but later that night, your camp is ambushed by darkspawn. The Knight is injured, and you take his sword (and shield if you want) and protect him. Doing so impresses Duncan, and you then become a Grey Warden.



4. You are a young Knight, and you are sent on a escort mission through a Dangerous area. The VIP is Duncan, and while he can fight well, he needs backup, and out of the entire squad, you are the only one who survives, other than Duncan.



(while you seem set on Denerim Guard, I figured to post all my ideas, who knows what it can inspire)

[Jaldaen]

Thanks Mad-Cat... your suggestions are in my story notes.

[Jaldecir]

This might be too late as well, but I just thought of one thing for the Denerim guard plot. During the origin part of the game, Denerim wasn't Howe's yet. It was under Vaughan's father (Urien?) who seem to be a "good guy" (not sure since there's little to no info about him other than casualty at Ostagar) while the son was a jerk. So what if the Denerim guard origin involves a soldier who seem to be conflicted about working for a good guy like Urien but having a jerk son like Vaughan?



Considering that Howe wanted to bring down Urien and Vaughan, maybe the Denerim guard learn about the plot to let Urien die at Ostagar, then he went to tell Vaughan who wouldn't listen to him because he was enjoying the elf ladies (the city elf character is then assumed as captured and killed). Then the guard heard about Duncan's visit at Alienage and thought that he would be the best person to go to with the information. However, going inside the Alienage, especially as Denerim guard who worked for Vaughan wouldn't be easy. Enter a small plot/conflict inside the Alienage (that I have no idea what) for the guard to solve before receiving audience with Duncan. At the end of the quest, it was then too late and assumed that Howe had arrived at Denerim to start his plot to throw down Vaughan, and the guard had no other choice but to join Duncan to Ostagar to survive from Howe.



The pro of the idea is that it can be used to further deepen Howe being a bad guy, and there's a chance for extra conflict within the game itself. The con is that it isn't exactly new and original that it can be somewhat of a combination between City-Elf and Human Noble origins. But yeah, I'm just babbling for now. XD

[Jaldaen]

Jaldecir,



Thanks for the ideas... I've added them to my notes.



Best Wishes,

Joseph

[Jaldaen]

Hello All,

Here's one of my Denerim Guard storyboards... it went in a far different direction than I originally intended, but this was the first storyboard that fleshed itself out for me from beginning to end. I might end up going in a completely different direction, but since this one is finished, I figured I'd share with you all and get some responses as to if this storyline is good, bad, or ugly.

Your commanding officer (and father) asks you and your partner (your brother/or a close friend) to patrol the Market District. While patrolling the area, you run into a couple different situations (thugs in one of the back alleys trying to shake down a merchant or noble; a noble who is mistreating their elven servant; the dead body; or something else appropriate for a guard to run into). You also run into Duncan, who recognizes you as the guard who helped him catch Daveth on his last visit to Denerim. He tells you he is looking for more recruits, but lets you get on with your patrolling. After you’ve triggered these side quests, your companion asks to go to the Gnawed Noble Tavern for lunch. He says he promised to meet your sister there for lunch.

When you arrive at the Gnawed Noble, someone comes out shouting, “There’s been a murder inside the tavern!” When you investigate, you discover two bodies (of your sister and a nobleman) in the back room along with a suicide note written in blood. The note claims the nobleman was carrying on an affair with your sister, but when he discovered she had decided to leave him he couldn’t let her live, nor live without her. You and your companion know your sister wouldn’t do such a thing, but the evidence is clear. When you report your findings to your father, he mourns the loss of his daughter and sends you and your partner back onto the streets to find out the truth.

After you leave your father, a templar comes up to you claiming to know what happened to your sister. He has been following a blood mage assassin for the last year. This mage has discovered a means to control his victims through the use of blood magic infused notes. Whoever opens one of these notes firmly believes everything written within it. The templar claims he was a target of one such note and it was only by the Maker’s grace that he was able to resist it. The templar has been following this assassin’s trail ever since and has tracked her down to the estate of the nobleman who just murdered your sister. The templar thinks the eldest son may have hired the assassin to get rid of his father so he could become the new Bann or perhaps the assassin is plotting something else. No matter what her plot is, the templar doesn’t dare involve the local Chantry because he fears one or more of the people there may be under the influence of the assassin and would warn her of a possible raid (he’s been betrayed once before).

The templar says if you can help him get close enough to the assassin, he can handle the rest. Since you are city guards and have the authority to investigate crimes, you will have an easier time accessing the house in question. He asks you get him a guard’s uniform (so he can accompany you) and once you do this he will follow you to the assassin’s hideout.

When you arrive at the estate, the house guards let you in, but once you are inside, the son’s lieutenant orders them to attack you. After you win the battle, the templar says that you must hurry because the assassin might get away along with the only chance you have to clear your sister’s name. You have to fight your way to the son’s bedroom where you find him and his bodyguards saying you’ll never harm his fiancé. Once you’ve dispatched them and as the life blood pours out of his body, the son will ask you, “What has happened?” (or something similar) as if waking from a dream.

An elven woman steps into the room. It’s the assassin! She holds up her hand and you become paralyzed. She tells the templar to “kill the spare” (or something like that). “Yes, my love,” says the templar, who then kills your partner.
If you ask her why she has done this, she tells you that your father was once a house guard for a Bann before he became a city guard. One day, she watched him and the Bann take her mother away. Her mother was raped by the Bann and then killed herself when she discovered she was pregnant. So when she was hired (by Arl Howe) to get rid of the Bann and his eldest son, she decided to kill two birds with one stone. She would fulfill her contract and take her vengeance on your father at the same time.
If you ask her why she doesn’t just kill your father, she says there is more pain in surviving your loved ones than in death.
If you ask her what she plans to do with you, she says you are going to read the note on the table and do what it tells you. Then she leaves with the templar.
The note on the table says that after you finish reading the note and then burning it, you are to keep stabbing the elder son’s corpse until the town guard arrives. You are not to speak or write of anything regarding what happened after you left your father earlier tonight. Once you finish reading the note, you to burn it with the candle on the table and begin your grim task.

When your father arrives with the city guards, he finds you stabbing the eldest son and covered with blood. When he ask you why you’ve done this, you only have non-answers for him (I can’t tell you…; I’m sorry…; etc.) because you are unable to speak the truth. Your father tells his men to take you to the dungeon and that he never wants to see you again.

As you are marched out of the estate, Duncan intercepts you and invokes the right of conscription. He doesn’t understand why you’ve done what you’ve done, but he can’t let someone with your skills go to waste on a hangman’s noose.

Any thoughts? The main inspiration for this storyline was after I found out from David that blood magic control has a lot of possibilities that are unexplored that go beyond the physical/combat related stuff to more insideous types of mind control. So my thought was that what if a blood mage assassin used their powers to make others do their dirty work for them or even kill themselves. Essentially, the blood mage would be acting in a very similar manner as a desire demon with the control over her victims.

Of course, this storyline takes a very unexpected twist in the middle and end, so I'm not certain how it would work in game (especially the ending cutscene) and also it might be so far off what is expected that it could turn off some players.

Anyways, I'm going to work on an alternative and more "normal" storyboard for this origin... but it should be interesting to hear what people think of the "Blood Mage Assassin" storyboard. At the very least it lets you all know that I'm still working on this mod.

Thanks,
Joseph

Modifié par Jaldaen, 18 janvier 2010 - 06:01 .

[mad_cat_prime]

First off, good story. But I have a few thoughts on your overall story and I will try to go in the order that you tell your story, so it will be somewhat coherent (as your idea has inspired like 20 different thoughts at once).



I'd say close friend is more appropriate. Though a city guard, he is more of a troublemaker between the both of you. He is a good person, but he does abuse his power now and then, perhaps takes an apple or a loaf of bread here and there. This could start out to maybe you find him with a loaf of bread, and you have the choice to do nothing or pay the person who he took it from. I don't know what reward or consequence this will later have.



So the couple of situations, this would likely come from talking to people in the street. Perhaps you run into other guards abusing their power and you must make a choice whether to help, ignore, or intervene. Given your father is a high rank official, it gives you an opportunity to persuade/intimidate.



The encounter with Duncan, perhaps is an introduction to the storyline (as with all Origin storylines, we should assume this is the first the time the player has played this game, and gives us a chance to reuse old dialogue). Perhaps he asks you direction to the Alienage. He probably already knows, but this might show an early interest in your PC as a potential recruit.



My question though, if he is supose to be a Commoner, why would he be able to go into the Noble Tavern. In truth, he is not a Noble, so going in there would probably be looked down upon.



I think the sister should be engaged, or perhaps married already, and this affair would bring shame to your family, thus the need to clear her name. While the father does mourn the loss of the daughter, part of him wants to know the truth, while another part of him wants the family's name cleared.



I think the Father would tell the son to start with the Chantry, see if they know of anything. They may have heard of a confession that might point them in the right direction. The head priestess hears of nothing, and as you leave, then the Templar confronts you, but wishes to speak elsewhere.



Interesting idea though about the 'Blood Note'. While there would be no evidence of this, the Templar believes that the Blood note for the Noble told him to write a suicide note, kill the sister, then kill himself, so the note would obviously be in his handwriting.



I would think that the eldest son did hire the assassin, and in doing so, gave the assassin resources (like admittance in the city or a place to stay), and with this actually has alternative motives.



Of course, she didn't kill herself when she discovered when she was pregnant, but after she delivered the baby.



I am wondering what forces you to read the note. Something would need to force you to do so. Perhaps your friend was not killed, but held at knife point until you read it. Now either the Templar kills your friend after you read it, or you kill your friend, so the Assassin and Templar know the note has worked, and you begin to stab the Noble son. If you still refuse, they kill your friend, and the Noble son. Stab you in the heart and put the sword in your hand (perhaps it was your personal sword given to you by your father).



Upon waking up, you learn that powerful magic was used to revive you. Beyond that, I wouldn't know how you join the Grey wardens, but you don't really want to force people too much into a situation with a game like this. Perhaps you are still accused for the murder of your friend and a Noble's son.



This storyline would also making coming back to Denerim more difficult, so while really you need to design the origin story and ending, interaction in Denerim would also be something you need to do.

[_- Songlian -]

Some thoughts and questions after a first reading.

* It's a good story and I really enjoyed it. Well done! 

*Duncan's intro. This Origin would stand out among the others because it presumes you know Duncan from some event that took place prior to it. Are you sure it is what you want? I rather liked the introduction we got for him in each Origin and the way he managed to squeeze himself in. What if, for instance, right in the beginning of this you run into him while he is being robbed by someone and you need to attend to that, being a guard and all? He could evaluate you by that first encounter and decide then that you might be worthy of being Grey Warden, or at least worthy of keeping an eye on.

* "This mage has discovered a means to control his victims through the use of blood magic infused notes. Whoever opens one of these notes firmly believes everything written within it." ---> I barely touched the Blood Mage specialization, so this question might not be worth much, but are we sure this is viable? It seems a lot of the story depends on this little act, so unless you know for sure this could work - in which case I apologize - maybe we need to ask some of the writers if it's something that would really happen.

* Duncan again: "As you are marched out of the estate, Duncan intercepts you and invokes the right of conscription. He doesn’t understand why you’ve done what you’ve done, but he can’t let someone with your skills go to waste on a hangman’s noose." --->  I really don't see Duncan as someone who would accept a clear murderer into the Grey Wardens, even with the awesome skills you would posses. Sure, Daveth was a rogue, but it's a bit of a difference between stealing purses and being found stabbing someone maniacally. How about Duncan following you or knowing of this affair in some way, so that he has knowledge of the fact that you were innocent? Perhaps he knew the father, as in he was a friend of the nobleman and set out to visit him when he was murdered, which triggered his interest. Or something similar.

Should something else pop in my mind, I'll put it down.

Edited a few times.

Modifié par - Songlian -, 18 janvier 2010 - 08:35 .

[mad_cat_prime]

@Songlian

***SPOILERS***
I am in my second run of DA, and I chose to be a City Elf. I met Duncan as I was to be married off to an Elf from another city when Ulrich interrupted the party. When I stood up to him, he forced me to come with him, or the Alienage would go up in smoke.

While captured, I managed to escape, killing off many guards and the Noble himself. I was also very rude, choosing the worst possible things to say, and despite all of this, Duncan still wanted me. Lets not forget that Duncan killed Jory when he refused to drink the darkspawn blood.

Modifié par mad_cat_prime, 18 janvier 2010 - 09:04 .

[mad_cat_prime]

While I was searching for mods to add to my second go round of DA, I found this:



Denerim Extended by jonnyeah

http://dragonagenexu...file.php?id=522



I will post what he did:



The goal of this project is to add a new district to Denerim, which currently contains 23 accessible(but empty) buildings.



**Due to lack of interest from other people, I wont be putting out an update for a while. I'm still working on it, just not too much. I don't feel like letting this project die, but I don't see it going how I wanted.



I don't plan to do very much work filling it however, and intend it to be more of a "modder's resource". My ideal plan would be I keep the exterior maintained, while other modders make use of the many interiors, or script things into the exterior. I'd like to see this area rather full of whatever content the nexus wants to put into it, and all that content playing fairly.



This is nowhere near done, but should give a good idea of what the area looks likes for modders, or anyone who just wants to look around.



To do:

Name the area(I welcome suggestions)

Add a better map

Add more details

See if I can get a landmark tree working.

Work on the ground

Wait for a modder to be interested



I welcome any tips, suggestions, criticisms and graphical glitches I missed. There's very little documentation on exteriors so I've been hit or miss for the most part.



Info for modders: I'll just make a discussion to simplify things.









So, I figure we could use this resource, perhaps get this person to assist us. Opening up a new area of Denerim could make the story a little bit more unique, and would save us lots of time.

[_- Songlian -]

@ mad_cat_prime

I assume you mean Vaughan, yes?

In my opinion it is an entirely different situation. In the City Elf Origin you did what you had to do. Duncan was there from the beginning and saw what happened. He knew you were just doing the right thing. He knew that nobleman abused his rights and thus you were entitled to your revenge, in one way or the other.

The way I understood the situation here was that you are found stabbing a corpse. You cannot tell the true reason behind it all because you are being commanded by the blood magic at work, and thus Duncan does not know that you were in fact innocent. The story requires him to overlook that and accept you into the ranks based simply on your abilities.

There is a slight difference between these two origins, right?

As for killing Jory, again, it was the right thing to do. You might compare Duncan killing him with the PC killing that man, if Jory would have been killed without any fault, which is to say, the reason would be overlooked in both cases.

I don't know how much time I'll be up, but I'll gladly talk this further with you, if you should still not agree.  It's quite possible I am wrong.

[Jaldaen]

Mad_Cat,

Thanks for your comments... I also think that having the other guard be a close friend is a good idea, too. I also like the idea of running into another guard(or guards), who are abusing their powers and having to make a good guy/bad guy choice.

As for the Gnawed Noble Tavern, I figured that city guards would be able to go there... one of the perks of the job so to speak. However, I could change the reasoning for going to the Gnawed Noble tavern to something else.

I also like the idea of your sister being married or engaged... initially I was going to hint at a relationship between your partner and sister (one of the reasons for meeting her at the tavern), but having her be engaged/married already could cause more trouble. I'll think about it.

I thought about having a full-fledged investigation, but I thought it might drag out the origin too much. That was one of the reasons why I has the templar show up when he does to lead them into the blood mage's trap.

As for the note's handwriting... I think that's how I would handle it. Essentially the initial blood note would tell the noble to write a suicide note, go to the tavern and kill your sister.

I meant to imply that the elven blood mage was a young child when her mother was raped and killed herself... this of course left her orphaned. Afterward, she discovered her magical powers and sought out an apostate through the Mage Collective.

According to David G., a blood mage can force a person to act by controlling the blood within their victim's bodies. If their magic isn't resisted, then the blood mage can make them do anything they want. More advanced blood mages can even learn to control a person's mind and alter their perception of reality (like a demon can).

As for returning to Denerim... yes it would be very hard. You'd be known as the Butcher of Bann ... and there would be some very negative opinions of you.

This is one of the reasons why although I like this storyline and the idea of a blood mage assassin... it probably isn't a very feasible mod storyline because of all the extra work it would require. Still it was fun to write and maybe it'll inspire some comments that will help me make an even better storyboard.

Best Wishes,
Joseph

Modifié par Jaldaen, 18 janvier 2010 - 09:58 .

[mad_cat_prime]

Your story is good, which now makes me wonder if Sten was in the same situation. I don't know yet, because my Human Noble could not release Sten, despite being guilty of Murder, but my City Elf who hates all humans, she's going to buy him a drink. So I don't know if Sten has more story or not, but I think there is more to it, and your example could be a good reason for him murdering the farmers.

[Jaldaen]

Song,

Part of the reason I have you know Duncan from a previous event was because I realized the timing issues that would come up if I actually had you capture Daveth on-screen. I also did this because I wanted Duncan to be interested in you before you were framed, which would help explain why he recruits you into the wardens in spite of your seemingly vengeance-based attack on the Bann's son. From reading through Duncan's dialogue, I get the idea that he doesn't mind taking shady characters as long as they show martial prowess and an ability to get things done. But as you point out, the other origins don't have a "history" set up between the character and Duncan and if I was to get rid of the history, then I wouldn't see Duncan showing interest without an added scene where your character helps Duncan take on a bunch of thugs in the back alley near the Warden's secret warehouse.

As mentioned above, David G. mentions that advanced blood mages have the ability to do more than just control the bodies of their victims, but also their minds and perceptions of reality. At one point I considered having the MC pick up a blood note that gave him the quest (to find someone in a particular estate, hunt down his sister's murderer, etc...). This quest would represent the mind-control of the blood mage and so your character would percieve that he was doing something good/noble, but then in the end discover that what the blood note had said was all a lie. That might be an easier way to see up this quest and I might go back to it, but I'd have to figure out how I'd word the note and rework the quest to make sense of everything.

***Spoiler***As for Duncan taking a murderer... in the Dwarven Noble origin there is a dialogue where you can actually murder your older brother. If you admit doing it (even without explaining why), he accepts you into the Grey Warden's anyway.***End Spoiler***

Still, I agree with you that it's a much easier sell if Duncan has a good reason to either believe you are innocent or thinks your combat abilities are too good to pass up. One way the latter could happen would be if the Bann's eldest son was a renowned knight.

Best Wishes,
Joseph

Modifié par Jaldaen, 18 janvier 2010 - 09:57 .

[_- Songlian -]

@ Jaldaen

Oh, I see. Thanks for clearing that one up. I haven't played the Dwarven origins so far, so I had no idea about that bit of info. But yes, we both seem to agree that it's easier to have him believe you innocent or otherwise very capable.

I'm really liking this:

At one point I considered having the MC pick up a blood note that gave him the quest (to find someone in a particular estate, hunt down his sister's murderer, etc...). This quest would represent the mind-control of the blood mage and so your character would percieve that he was doing something good/noble, but then in the end discover that what the blood note had said was all a lie.

Also, the thugs in the back alley fight with Duncan also seems like a good idea to "introduce" them.

Looking forward to more of your writing.

[Jaldaen]

Song,



Thanks for your comments... perhaps I will simplify things and introduce Duncan through a fight and the blood mage plot through a blood note.



Best Wishes,

Joseph

[Joff1981]

Couple of thoughts,

I'd put the sister in at the start of the story so you see her before starting work and before she gets killed in order to tie her in to the player's mind a bit more, otherwise there's a larger disconnect between what the player feels upon discovering her murder and what the character feels.

I'd avoid forcing the PC into reading the note then getting caught stabbing a corpse as I know that a lot of players have a strong dislike from having their characters do very specific things such as this especially when they clearly have no control over the situation (both from a story standpoint and from a gameplay one i.e. having to read the note to progress). Instead I'd have your partner forced to read the note which would tell him to kill you, that way in order to progress you'd have to kill him in self-defence which should be more palatable to players.

This could tie-in quite nicely if the guard captain was his father rather than your own as you would have then killed not only a member of the city guard but also your boss' son and you would then be in a situation whereby you needed to be saved by Duncan without looking like a totally crazed psychotic. Perhaps Duncan is in Denerim evaluating the city guard for potential recruits (with the guard captain heavily suggesting his son as he wants the glory of having a grey warden in the family in order to increase his standing within the city).

I'd also probably make it so that rather than Duncan praising you for helping catch Daveth, instead the guard captain recalls the last time Duncan was here and mentions him recruiting a common street criminal when there were much more suitable candidates (again heavily suggesting his son). You could even make it so that the son has taken the credit for catching Daveth either because you have let him take the credit out of friendship or his father has forced you to give it up.

Anyway it looks good so far, now just to see what the other storylines you come up with are like.

Modifié par Joff1981, 19 janvier 2010 - 12:20 .

[Jaldaen]

Joff,

Great ideas!

I agree that I'll need to add a scene with the sister, if I keep her as the victim.

Thanks a lot for the suggestion of turning things around and making the captain your partner's father and him the true target of the assassin (and making him read the note)... that's a nice twist. I'll have to think about how that would alter the storyline.

Best Wishes,
Joseph

Modifié par Jaldaen, 19 janvier 2010 - 01:52 .

[mad_cat_prime]

I also agree Jaldaen that is a nice twist and lets you keep the story you have created without forcing the player into an action.