185 réponses à ce sujet

[Jaldecir]

Did I not say don't ruin the Elf story for me.

My apologies for ruining the City Elf story for you about the non-existant reprocussions. I was under the impression that you knew what you were talking about when you said that picking choice B would have reprocussions that makes you travel harder to show that it's not a fake choice at all. While my experience playing City Elf proved otherwise, I was wondering whether I missed something that you didn't. I wasn't aware that you were totally clueless when you talked about killing Vaughan. Sorry about that. Complete oversight and misunderstanding on my part. It wasn't my intention to ruin it for you (which is why I didn't go to great detail at all and choosing only talking about the reprocussions that you had mentioned yourself).

Jaldecir, I read your version of this story earlier this morning, and mad_cat_prime is right, in your version, there was a "youngest" and an "eldest" son. But overall, it's a wonderful story.

Could you please quote the part where there was a "youngest" son in my version? I used Ctrl+F search function, put in "youngest" and came up with no result for my version at all. I did have "eldest son" mentioned in which it was simply from Jaldaen's original story that I forgot to edit accordingly. What I did was to copy-paste the whole thing from Jaldaen's story, and then modified here and there to match my idea because I don't want to change too much from Jaldaen's story since it was his idea after all, I did miss things here and there, but I'm still pretty sure that there was no "youngest son" in both Jaldaen's version and mine. About the "eldest son", I was confused myself and decided to ask Jaldaen in a few posts above if there was actually a "youngest son" involved in the story.



@Jaldaen,



Good luck and best wishes for you. Hopefully someday you could have free time to complete this story. I think out of the many ideas being talked about by other people, I find yours to be the most interesting, and has the most potential for greatness. Take care.

[_- Songlian -]

Can we please leave the disputes aside and focus on what's important?



Is there anyone who would like to take Jaldaen's work further? Jaldecir, Mad_Cat? Lotion? Anyone else?



@ JTerzin - There is no alpha version. We were barely discussing the plot here. There hasn't been any scripting work done yet.



Seriously now, let's talk this through. Can we continue this project without Jaldaen? Would anyone be willing to?



Song

[Lotion Soronarr]

A completely new origin? A lot of work and even tough I'd love to see it done, I really can't do it on my own - not without abandoning my project, and I won't do that. I already have too many OTHER projects for OTHER games on hold.

Seriously, just check the link in my sig - I haven't even updated my homepage for at least a year.

[_- Songlian -]

Nobody would be alone on this, Lotion.

The plan had always been - at least as far as I have talked to Jaldaen - to share the responsibilities in every step of the development. I was planning on writing a couple of characters anyways, depending on what he would have seen fit to give me. Other writers would have had other tasks.

Once the story and dialogues would be done, we would have to find and recruit a number of modders to help us with the implementation, including a good sound editor for Duncan's lines. And Cailan's, now that I think of it. After that, the sound actors would follow; there is the Voice Actor's Guild, so it shouldn't be a problem to find interested people. The beta testing should acquire recruits easy enough, as well. 

This is a simple view of the plan, but the important thing here is that this is not expected of one man only. Also, please keep in mind that this would represent the content of maximum 2 hours of gameplay.

Before anyone jumps in and shouts "You do it if you're such a smart ass!" I'm going to say that I would, if it would not be for my lack of experience when it comes to lead writing a game. I've been involved in other projects, I've written characters and quests and even parts of plot maps, but never have I been the lead writer. It's a big task, yes. That is why I would prefer a writer with more experience to come forward and take the reigns.

In all honesty, I can fully understand the hesitancy in this case. 

Perhaps we should bribe Jaldaen to come back.

Song

Modifié par - Songlian -, 21 janvier 2010 - 01:33 .

[Lotion Soronarr]

Hehe...if anyone feels confident in writing. .. I'm an average writer at best.

[mad_cat_prime]

I would be willing to continue his work further, but only if those who have contribute so far would agree to that decision. This would mean I have the control to make final decisions of the storyline. I'm not bidding for control, but the great thing about Jaldaen is that he had the position of Project Leader to make final decision, and if someone is put in that position, to take over, that is the privileged they would receive.

[mad_cat_prime]

delete double post

Modifié par mad_cat_prime, 21 janvier 2010 - 04:35 .

[Jaldaen]

Hello All,



Since there is interest by some to see this project continue I'll be keeping the project and group page up and I'll add my project-related files to the group for the interested parties to use. If someone is chosen to be the new lead for this project, then I'll figure out how to transfer "ownership" of the group and project.



Best Wishes,

Joseph



PS: And thanks for being so understanding and for the support.

[Jaldaen]

I've just uploaded all of my notes to the project page. I have other handwritten notes in regards to the Blight Refugee origin, but I'll only type those out if there is an expressed interest in them.



Best Wishes,

Joseph

[_- Songlian -]

@ mad_cat_prime



It's good to see someone stepping forward for the Human Commoner project. There are some things I wanted to say:



1. I perfectly understand the need to have the final saying on the story. It's what the project leader would be expected to do. As long as you'll be receptive to the valid opinions that come your way, I have no problem with you being the leader.



2. My only issue with you becoming lead writer is that you haven't played all the Origins. With the risk of being Miss Obvious here, you need to do that. It gives you a whole other perspective. It would be also good if you'd play the game a few times. I've had a couple of walkthrough and I can tell you this: there is a lot of content that is left to be discovered with different characters.



Song

[mad_cat_prime]

1. Very much so. I would want everyone to remain and to give their opinions on various stories, and I would give everyone equal audience. And I would encourage the people who do not agree with me to voice their concerns, but as much respect I would give in listening to their ideas and discussing them, I would ask for the same respect on any final decision I make.



2. You have a very valid point Songlian, and as I have already done two of six origins stories, I would need to do the remaining ones to get a full perspective. While we work on finishing up Jaldaen's project, I would coninue out the second run through with elf, I would also work to complete the other 4 origin stories.

[mad_cat_prime]

Is there anyone else who wants control, wants to support me, or wants to oppose me?

Modifié par mad_cat_prime, 21 janvier 2010 - 07:44 .

[Lotion Soronarr]

No opposition from my part.

[mad_cat_prime]

So, I may have jumped the gun a little bit, but I have started to do more work on this project. So I have started off with some scene work, namely that of description and dialogue. Someone of the group is helping with this, but in our discussion, we have come to a fork in the road, and I wanted to leave it to the group to voice their inputs on this subject before making a decision.

The subject, is the PC's boss. The question of his actual position came up, also in reference to Sergeant Kylon, who would be superior, would it contradict this character?

So I started to do some research, but not a lot of info I could pull up on City Guards and rank structure. Looking on Dragon Age Wikia, about Sergeant Kylon, I uncovered this clue:

Sergeant Kylon is an example of a medieval sergeant, which explains much of his dialogue:

"The Sergeant would conduct what training he could to teach his charges to fight, lead them into battle and, most important, keep them from running away during a battle. Sergeant was not a rank but an occupation. He might lead others, he might fight alone or as a member of a group of sergeants, or he might serve the lord of his village as a policeman or guard."

He refers once to his superior, a guard captain who authorizes him to use deadly force against the Crimson Oars mercenaries.

Now, this quotes another article, which I show you here:

The Sergeant started out as a servant, serviens in Latin, to a knight in medieval times. He became a fighting man probably for self preservation because combat in those days often amounted to cutting down everybody in reach, regardless of whether they were armed. He became an experienced warrior who might ride a horse but was not wealthy enough to afford all the equipment and retainers to qualify as a knight. As an experienced soldier he might be called upon to take charge of a group of serfs or other common people forced to serve in an army of feudal levies. The Sergeant would conduct what training he could to teach his charges to fight, lead them into battle and, most important, keep them from running away during a battle. Sergeant was not a rank but an occupation. He might lead others, he might fight alone or as a member of a group of sergeants, or he might serve the lord of his village as a policeman or guard. The modern title "sergeant-at-arms" used by many clubs recalls armed Sergeants who kept order at meetings.

So, this gives us a background on Kylon (somewhat) and gives us a choice of two positions. Now Denerim is big. One Sergeant wouldn't be enough. But Kylon does refer to a guard captain. So either the PC's boss is another Sergeant, or perhaps a Captain.

If he is a Sergeant, he too would patrol the streets and city districts to watch directly over his men. Which would suggest that Sergeants are more of middle men, Supervisors, to carry out the orders of the Captain. This would work, that the Templar knows where to find him, and Duncan, to report what is happening. Him being a Sergeant would also denote that his son is a regular guard, such as the PC.

Now, if he is a Captain, this gives him a lot of power. But if he is giving his son, and the PC, direct orders, this would denote that one of them is a Sergeant. Also, if he is a Captain, he would also likely be in a building somewhere far off (distance) from the story (maybe).

Now, in the story we have, thanks to Jaldaen, it is suggested that he was a guard to a noble, along with the PC's father. We also are pushing that the boss wanted to be a GW but blames an injury that prevented him from joining. If he has an injury that prevents him from joining the GW, I don't see him as a Sergeant, since that requires patrolling the streets and keeping his subordinates in check. But he could be a Captain, as that may be more of an administrative position.

Those are my thoughts, I would like to hear from the rest of you.

Modifié par mad_cat_prime, 22 janvier 2010 - 05:20 .

[Maximus741000]

@mad_cat_prime, before Jaldaen left us, he and I discussed issues of the other stories and how they were to unfold, I asked his permission to become a freelance writer alongside him, and I posted an idea for the Militia Story. While the ideas going for the Denerim Guard are certainly promising, I was hoping that the other stories could be discussed, then I would summarise the ideas we have, forward them to Jaldaen, (or either one of us could do it). And he will hopefully send us his viewpoint and decision. So, basically I was hoping that with you volunteering to take charge, I have soem writing experience, I've completed all the origins stories, and perhaps with your input, my original storyboard could be improved. What do you say?

[mad_cat_prime]

If you feel comfortable enough, go ahead and post your ideas here in the forums and as a group, we'll look at your idea together. While we are pushing forward with the Denerim Guard story, I know Jaldean had a few stories planned and my taking charge is to push his goals forward.



If you rather just send me the stories to me, that is also fine and we can just discuss the stories between you and I until we feel it is developed enough to share with the others of this group. I want to encourage everyone to submit their story ideas. We may not get to all of them, but they may help inspire the stories we are currently working on.

[Jaldaen]

Mad_Cat and Maximus,



Maximus' Militia story should be in the notes I posted in the project's zip file. The Denerim Guard storyboard comes first in the notes, then the Blight Refugee, and finally the Militia... so just scroll down the notes and you should find it there.



Best Wishes,

Joseph

[_- Songlian -]

*cough* I'm the one with whom Mad_Cat has reached the above mentioned dilemma in our messages.

Now as he has done a fine job stating our two directions, I tend to lean more towards the Captain one. This would make the son - and the PC's friend - a Sergeant and directly above the PC in rank. The fact that the PC would be in a lesser position and yet superior to the Boss' son in skill - at least so he states - would be something quite fitting given the personality of the father.  They could have very well been childhood friends, who grew to have separate positions due to circumstances. Something like The Count Of Monte Cristo.  Minus the corrupt friend, of course. 

I also favor the option of the Guards to have their own building. While the market has its attractions, you already have Sgt. Kylon there and to have to high rank officers in such a small place would be awkward.

Mad_Cat, as for the injury of the Boss, I really like the idea of Duncan having another motive besides it. 
 

Modifié par - Songlian -, 22 janvier 2010 - 08:24 .

[mad_cat_prime]

That would make it reasonable for the PC boss to be a Captain, while the friend is a Sergeant. It would give the ability for the Captain to have an injury that prevents him to fight, and would be reasonable for the Captain to promote his son to Sergeant. Not that it is not deserving, he probably has that qualities to be a good leader, or at least very good to stand out as a regular guard (over time with his father's guidance he could be a leader).



Anyone else have thoughts on this?

[Maximus741000]

Where is the project's zip file?



I wonder if there is a way that Sergeant Kylon could find his way into the story, he could serve as the mentor figure for the character and encourages the PC whenever the Captain or his friend talk down to him. Due to the captain promoting his son to sergeant without without proper experience, he feels that the son is being spoilt and believes that he should first become worthy of the title. Maybe this partnership returns to the PC when he returns to Denerim to work with Kylon, he offers larger rewards as a bonus and a weapon of the sergeant-friend's father, sort of a bonus for the origin.

[Jaldaen]

Maximus,

You can find the .zip file here:

http://social.biowar...ect/1485/#files

[mad_cat_prime]

There has been recent changes to the group. Initially led by Jaldaen, who needed to step down for personal reason, I have volunteered to take his place.

With this change Jaldaen wanted to transfer ownership to me so I would have control of the group, to upload files and the such, but unfortunately there is no visible means to do that, so to save him the hassle, I have created a new group and new project.

Group: Human Commoners Unite!!


Project: Human Commoners Project


As I have mentioned to many of you already, my plans are to keep Jaldaen's plans and stories alive, along with those suggestion that have already been made. Many of you are interested in doing some writing for the group, and we welcome you, and the best place to help with writing is the forum topic originally created by Jaldaen.

As project leader, I will listen and take into consideration any and all ideas presented to me. I will respect you and listen to your input, but at the end of the day, my job is to make a final decision for what is best for the project. We will continue with the stories that Jaldaen plan to do, starting with the Denerim guard. Please join the project/group for updates on our work in progress.

I look forward to getting to know many of you. Please send an email confirmation that you are still interested.

Bioware: mad_cat_prime
Nexus: mad_cat
Steam: mad_cat

Modifié par mad_cat_prime, 23 janvier 2010 - 12:39 .

[mad_cat_prime]

@Maximus741000



I actually want to involve Kylon in the story and I may have a perfect place for him. He really is a stand-up guy, rare it appears for the guards of Denerim.



At the beginning of the story, prior to meeting the Captain (we'll call him that until stated otherwise), our two heroes run into Kylon who has word from the Captain that there is some trouble with (ruffians/bandits/thieves) and wants our heroes to investigate. This is where our characters will run into Duncan (though they won't really get to meet him until they speak with the Captain) and the 3 of you take care of the (ruffians/bandits/thieves).

[mad_cat_prime]

An idea came to mind. Since the Captain idolizes the GW, what if your friend the Sergeant got promoted after the two of you captured Daveth a few weeks ago.

[Originsmaster]

Heres an Iea I discussed with Jaldean before he left us:

1. You are a Denerim guard. You have a brother and a sister

2. Denerim guard will capture Daveth.
2. (details) duncan catches Davith trying to steal from him and grabs his arm. Davith starts running he through the streets you take him down. maybe tackle him.

3.Davith fights back.Thats when Duncan notices your skill as well as Daviths.You talk to him and what not.

4.Later in the origin after a few quests your looking through the back alley with your brother who is also a Guard when you guys witness 5 Crows assainating someone important.

5.You get into a fight and after killing two of them the other ones run away.You guys split up to find them. You both lose them in one of the back alleys or streets.

6.You don't find them. After that long day searching you are both tired and your brother goes home while you go tell the sergeant about the crime.

7.He says he is busy so you go back to your house only to find your brother murdered and your sister hiding in the closet in the back of the room.You find a letter on him that says your next!!! You ripp up the letter in anger and you and your sister hug and cry over the bloody corpse that was your brother.

8.Then the sergeant steps into your house only to find you and your sister covered in blood.

9.He puts you both in jail to await trail. Since their is no proof that the crows did it you and your sister are found guilty and are sentenced to death surprisingly next to Davith.

10.Duncan offers to save you and Davith.You can either refuse and make him take your sister with you or let your sister die.

11.If your sister comes with you she may also become a warden or halp you in the tower of Ishal. Not sure which. Flemeth saves her as well as you and Alistair and she ends up selling stuff at your camp.

What do you guys think.

Modifié par Originsmaster, 23 janvier 2010 - 03:34 .