Does that metaphor quite work?
Yes.
I mean in that you used to have access to ice cream but choose to abstain. In this case it's more like ice cream never was a thing you could have because it never wanted you.
Wanting is wanting is wanting.
Fair enough, but wouldn't this still apply if Varric was my delicious ice cream, but all I see are people eating up some Anders ice cream?
If humans were rational, yes.
I played TOR as a female trooper and couldn't romance Dorne - annoying but nothing too bad. My friend is now playing as a male trooper and whenever she flirts with Dorne, I want to punch my screen.
I see someone getting romance content they want. The only way to "be fair" would be to take away romance content from someone, and give it to less characters overall. Is this ideal?
You're kind of arguing against something I haven't said.