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[Brass_Buckles]

1783.  There will be an opportunity to talk things through civilly, with any enemy, instead of resorting to violence.  This includes random darkspawn, wolves, bears, and giant rats.  To emphasize this new mechanic, Bioware has outfitted all enemies with monocles and tophats.  Yes, even the females.

[mousestalker]

1784. Blink woolly mammoths

1785. Bllght Blink Woolly Mammoths

[Brass_Buckles]

1786.  Your Inquisitor can predict what the real Shepard would say with up to 7% accuracy.

[satunnainen]

1787, The load bearing boss is back. The final boss: Ser EvilMadDude who lives in a castle StructuralInstability will naturally die in a huge battle near the end of the game. Unfortunately, or because the castles designer and constructor was both evil and mad, the castle will start to collapse right after he has died. The heroes will need to do a final heroic dash out of the castle before it collapses on them.

[PsychoBlonde]

1788.  If you pre-order the collector's edition and any feature of the game fails to appease you, there will be a button you can click that will cause Mark Darrah's computer to emit a loud "Nee!"

1788a.  Unless you are Sir Bedevere in which case it says "Nuu!"

[mousestalker]

1789. You will never see or hear a Monty Python reference in game.

1790. Everyone else will get at least one, however.

1791. The ones that get shown on Youtube will be especially funny and utterly unattainable.

[Killdren88]

1792. Cullen will be in the game. But he will be newly married. Just to troll his fanbase. It shall be wonderfully funny.

[Hrungr]

1793. Your alchemical lab will contain a Distilligaider which will allow you to distill the tears of both allies and enemies alike into various alchemical substances.

 

The primary use of which is to add the despair to various Orlesean cheeses...

[Brass_Buckles]

1794.  Despite the name of the game and the previews we have seen thus far, dragons will be cut from the release version game.  This will be explained by saying that the Warden and Hawke drove them extinct.

 

1794a.  Dragons will be re-added via DLC three months after the game's release.

[Iron Fist]

1795. There will be a griffon mount DLC. 15 bucks.

[satunnainen]

1796. There wont be a mage who is posessed by a spirit. This time its a mabari, who is posessed by a spirit of slobbery. The combat will be a lot more wet, than in previous games. The inquisitor's party will learn to carry a clean towel to wipe all the sprayed drool from their faces.

[Brass_Buckles]

1797.  To make up for there being no children in DA2, everyone in DA:I will be no older than 16.  Because of this, romances will culminate with nothing more intense than a kiss on the cheek.

[Gamercat]

1798. Cheese is now the latest rage in Orlais.

[Parmida]

1799. Empress of Orlais is a dirty sl*t and begs your Quizzy's affection.

 

 

You also get to say this to the Empress:

 

Quizzy:"Stop sending me love letters Celine! You desperate b**ch!"

[Gamercat]

1799a. The Empress of Orlais turns out to be Isabella.

[Gamercat]

1800. All in game models are given breasts. Except for chickens.

[Iron Fist]

1799b. We have all banged the Empress of Orlais.

 

1801. Anora is the sole ruler of Ferelden. She banged the Empress too.

[Gamercat]

1802. It is discovered that the Warden and hawke have gone missing because they are locked up in The empress' sex den.

[Brass_Buckles]

1803.  There will be no day/night cycle in the game.  Like in DA2, there will be a day/night switch.  However, in DA:I, this ability will be acknowledged as a special power gained by the Inquisitor when the Veil Tear was created.  Farmers will be desperate for a word with the Inquisitor so that there will be enough daylight to make the crops grow successfully.  Thieves and brigands will attempt to kill the Inquisitor relentlessly because perpetual night would best suit their needs.

[PsychoBlonde]

1797.  To make up for there being no children in DA2, everyone in DA:I will be no older than 16.  Because of this, romances will culminate with nothing more intense than a kiss on the cheek.

 

1797a.  Everyone has enormous eyes and hair that looks like a 4-year-old cut it out of pastel construction paper.

1797b.  Except that one extremely tall skinny guy with the disturbingly deep voice who has smooth white hair down to his knees.

1797c.  Needless to say, he parts it in the middle.  He's not THE villain, but he has some kind of weird love/hate rivalry thing going on with the protagonist.

[Gamercat]

1804. There will be a quest at one point in the game in which the male inquisitor has to wear leather dominatrix gear. You get a special achievement if your qunari or dwarf inquisitor can wear it and keep people from laughing.

[Brass_Buckles]

1805.  There will be a sequence in which the Inquisitor turns into a dragon somehow and then has to explain this to his or her party members, without being able to actually speak.  Dialogue options will be:

 

• Roar.
• Roar loudly.
• Snap at <Party Member Name>
• (Persuade) Growl at <Party Member Name>
• (Persuade) Make what you hope are cute chirpy noises at <Party Member Name>

[satunnainen]

1806. Old gods turn out to be new gods with fake beards.

[Gamercat]

1807. With the return of the in game model strut, there is a 2% chance that the feme inquisitor and any other females can break their hip.

[Brass_Buckles]

1808.  It turns out that the zombie kitten army is responsible for the Darkspawn.