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[PsychoBlonde]

2123.  The number of possible game endings is not a whole number.

2123a.  It's not even a real number.  It somehow involves the square root of -1.

2123b.  Nobody knows how this happened.

2123c.  Entire branches of mathematics had to be developed in order to deal with this bizarre ending indeterminacy.

2123d.  In fact, eldritch runes began to appear on the computer systems and a strange smell, as of the depths of cavernous tombs beyond the reach of time, filled the air.

2123e.  As the release date approaches, fell signs are discovered warning about impending destruction.

2123f.  Beings from the outer darkness will be summoned, bringing about an end to all space and time.

2123g.  Despite all this, the game is touted as being totally worth it.

[satunnainen]

2123. All the voice actors will have a very thick welch, irish or scottish accent. There wont be any subtitles, and the hints in dialogue wheel are more vague than ever.

[PsychoBlonde]

2123. All the voice actors will have a very thick welch, irish or scottish accent. There wont be any subtitles, and the hints in dialogue wheel are more vague than ever.

 

Welch?  They sound like grape juice?

[PsychoBlonde]

2124.  There is a new fashion in Orlais that involves going about with a small troupe of minstrels who constantly sing your praises.

2124a.  If two rival nobles meet, their minstrels have a musical battle.

[Brass_Buckles]

2125.  Due to time and budget issues, horses have been cut from the game.

2125a.  However, your Inquisitor and party will be able to clap together coconuts as they skip along to make up for the lack of actual horses.

[TanithAeyrs]

2126.  Thanks to excessive Monty Python influence the catapults in DA:I only launch cows. However, daring engineers have now developed trebuchets that hurl nugs.  It is suspected that there may even be a ballista equipped to shoot mabari.

[Thumb Fu]

2127: Due to cut backs mages have been removed from the game. Rogue are now called Mages and can use mana and have access to spells, but can no longer use rogue abilities.

[PsychoBlonde]

2128.  The fad for covering the outsides of buildings in draperies is now, officially, over.  From this moment on the city beautification committee will only allow the hanging of wooden signs, greenery, chains, ropes with tassels, and elves, although one should note that elves wearing clothes are considered draperies under section 108-C of the code.  Elves wearing greenery are still okay.

[PsychoBlonde]

2129.  By Imperial order, Orlais has begun screening refugees for insanity, stupidity, and possession of overpowered DLC items.

[Brass_Buckles]

2130.  The elven apostate Solas will turn out to be the reincarnation of Mordin Solus from the Mass Effect franchise.

2130a.  We will find him singing patter songs in an Orlesian theatre.

[PsychoBlonde]

2131.  Flemeth gives you an elaborate side quest involving a sheet, a bag of flour, and a forced stealth section that you later discover has no purpose other than to allow Flemeth to pretend to appear as a ghost to the Warden and scare the bejeezus out of him/her.

2131a.  This is Flemeth's sole appearance in the game.

2131b.  Leliana decides to get in on the ghost prank if she's also supposed to be "dead".

[PsychoBlonde]

2132.  The Qunari somewhat sheepishly admit that the whole "gaatlok" thing was just a hoax.  There is no explosive powder.  They were just throwing the cannonballs.

2132a.  "Bazinga."

[satunnainen]

2133. There will be a sequence of game play involving miniaturizing spell applied to the group. The task is to seek one part of the ancient weapon-plans, hidden for some reason inside Varric's chest hair. After discussing the task with Varric, the Inquisitor decides that miniaturizing the group and seeking the plans among the hair is the easy way compared to trying to shave the chest. 

[MiyoKit]

2134: The main quest will ask our brave hero to search high and low for the one thing that will close the rifts, that will paint the sky whole again. Along the way you'll read the Inquisitor's scribbled journals written whilst his mind forgets lucidity. "They said it cannot be done... the whispers, the echoes... they call at me, laugh at me. But it will be done, I will find it, I will find it! Can't you see? It is a quest, a quest, a quest!" one entry reads, humbly finished by a eloquent line of feces. But will it? The Goblet of Tartan Paint is set to be the most humiliating, frustrating, and impossible quests lines this generation has ever seen, and it will be up to you, you brave souls, to blindly trust the questgivers and venture forth at their command. Be the errand boy for the ages. Be the Inquisitor.

[PsychoBlonde]

2135.  Aside from the Red Templars and the Original Crispy Templars, there's a third group that dislikes mages but doesn't want to get all fanatical about it.  After some consultation this faction was dubbed the "Pink Templars" and ordered to wear frilly dresses to announce their affiliation.

[PsychoBlonde]

2136.  Vivienne owns a pair of shoes so awesome that a Desire Demon once attempted to bargain with her for them.

[PsychoBlonde]

2137.  Upon no occasion does the Inquisitor make use of plain language where a multiplicity of large-syllable'd verbiage might be contrived.

2137a.  The word "elephantocetomachia" is used at every opportunity.

[Kaibe]

2138. DAI confirms IT.

[satunnainen]

2139. You get to run some tests on sea shells. 

[Brass_Buckles]

2140.  Dramatic Hands Moustache Guy is actually in shock that the Inquisitor agrees with him on locating the main keep in the middle of the Waking Sea, since he only made that suggestion as a joke.

2140a.  This would be why Cassandra is so angry with the Inquisitor in that concept art scene.

[PsychoBlonde]

2141.  Varric starts up printing a satire newsletter that he calls "The Radish" but he's forced to shut down because everybody thinks the news is real news.  On the plus side, he does manage to completely throw off several of the Quiz's most annoying recurring villains by reporting that the Quiz is dead.

2142.  Everybody gets new ranged weapons!  Warriors get crossbows, rogues get bows, throwing knives, shuriken, jai alai launchers and, strangely enough, squirrels.  Mages get to attach a little leather pouch to the end of their staff and call it a "hoopack".  Also useful for playing lacrosse.

[PsychoBlonde]

2143.  There will be an achievement for making your Inquisitor look exactly like RuPaul.  Bonus points if it's a male Inquisitor.  Extra bonus points if it's a dwarf.

[PsychoBlonde]

2144.  Instead of having to slowly gather your companions, you arrive at the castle to discover that Varric called everybody over hours ago and they've been impatiently waiting for you the entire time.

2144a.  Which explains why nobody was home when you went looking for them.

2144b.  Now everybody is super-pissed-off and nobody wants to go questing.

2144c.  So, basically Act I of the game consists of you ordering pizza and digging through your collection for a movie to watch.

2144d.  The whole Veil Tear incident is caused by Vivienne insisting VERY FIRMLY that there will be NO PEPPERONI OF ANY KIND WHATSOEVER.

[PsychoBlonde]

2140.  Dramatic Hands Moustache Guy is actually in shock that the Inquisitor agrees with him on locating the main keep in the middle of the Waking Sea, since he only made that suggestion as a joke.

2140a.  This would be why Cassandra is so angry with the Inquisitor in that concept art scene.

2140b.  Because the Quiz totes stole her signature move.

[mousestalker]

2145. There will be DLC to make available Blue, Green, Purple, Pink, Orange and Yellow Halla to accompany the Deluxe edition Red Halla.
2146. Collect the whole set! If you have all of them, then you can channel their 'Rainbow Power' to make even the most dire enemy give you a hug.