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New Romance option


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15 réponses à ce sujet

#1
RedArmyShogun

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Given as of late the huge number of threads based off of romancing this or that, or some insanity I have decided to ask for a romance option that you could only akwardly hump as well, it would hurt you otherwise and surely will this way reguardless.

But a Cactuar, or a Cactus, for those who have no idea what it is, you obviously live in a tropical place or are a teenager thus your ignorance or sun blind madness can be forgiven.

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Now I know most of you are going F-Yeah! at this, however I know as this is the BSN some minority is likely screaming THIS IS STUUUPID and smacking someone in the face. So I'll play this out and show you this is the best idea ever.


First off the Ladies would go crazy for him, I mean look at that cold lifeless stare, and the prickly sensation you can get just rubbing up against him!  At the same time look at that jaw droping action he's got going on! I mean is he excited? In wow of your beauty? Horrified as a male apendex of  the lower regions is staring him in the face? He's full of mystery! Also he needs no armor or weapons! I mean look at those spikes, I mean heck you can pick him up after pleasing yourself and use him as a deadly, weapon! That makes him better than 99% of the Companions  in all DA games! The one exception being Shale.

Now yes, yes I know, well that covers the women and creepy men, but hey there is also a female Cactuar! And it looks the same as the male, but hey throw on some boobs, a little makeup and you won't know them apart, just like with Aveline and a lumberjack.  And the minority atraction doesn't end there.

Clearly the Japanese would go gaga over this and EA has been trying to push into Japan for years. Now you have something they'll want! At the same time we all know white males make up a large group of gamers, however part of that number hasn't been targeted such as the neo **** demograph, now if you look at the shape, and do this via DLC

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And the Japanese would in praticular (also the ladies) would go crazy over this DLC armor add-on

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Who needs a pirate hooker, or a black haired witch, or whiny emo men, or a clown, when you can have the strong silent type who's body is litterally a weapon?

And so I rest my case. If other people can make insane pointless romance requests and things to akwardly hump, then clearly this choice is the winner.

Modifié par RedArmyShogun, 19 septembre 2012 - 01:27 .


#2
Sorrysin

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I couldn't imagine how many ladies would buy this just for this sexy little Cactus.

#3
Druss99

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Seconded. Cactaur for squadmate and LI!!

Modifié par Druss99, 19 septembre 2012 - 01:38 .


#4
Guest_IIDovahChiiefII_*

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Bossmode and cant forget about a DAIII knock off of MC:"steve" he should be one as well

#5
Master_Anthony

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Can't wait to see this thread blow up.
*Grabs breakfast*

#6
Druss99

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If it's far enough in the future then Cactaur for god child and PC too.

#7
Kaiser Arian XVII

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It is called "Cactus" and the agony of romancing it makes it unique and pleasant /Irony.

#8
Rawgrim

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Romancing a cactus? Arn`t you afraid you`d get a ******?

#9
Arcadian Legend

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10/10, would read again.

#10
Kail Ashton

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Bioware isn't even in the same leauge as Cactuar, no way he'd sign on to be in a bioware game, he'd do a chocobo dungeon game waaaaay before he stooped so low

Bioware already had to scrub the entire square-enix office's toiletts just to get that shepard armor into ff13-2 and ONLY cause it was ff13-2 so no one cared that much

#11
Carmen_Willow

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Rawgrim wrote...

Romancing a cactus? Arn`t you afraid you`d get a ******?


:D  Good one! High marks!

#12
Masha Potato

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 Go go cactus man

#13
Auintus

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Tonberry companion.
Those creepy little bastard's'll knife anyone who messes with you.

Modifié par Auintus, 19 septembre 2012 - 07:16 .


#14
jackofalltrades456

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Forget that.

Optimus Prime for companion and love interest! :wub:

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Modifié par jackofalltrades456, 21 septembre 2012 - 01:00 .


#15
Giga Drill BREAKER

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Gilgamesh for companion. (Best summon/Aeon or whatever in Final Fantasy) also remember Bioware use to slag square off for making **** games, guess they can't do that anymore.

Modifié par DinoSteve, 21 septembre 2012 - 01:06 .


#16
RedArmyShogun

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Hmm we should add both of those to our boycot demands.