85 réponses à ce sujet

[Learn To Love Yourself]

jkthunder wrote...

There are certain places in my house where when I stomp real hard, about 50% of the time I end up in the basement and can't get out. Then I start floating up to the roof and beyond. It's really weird.

I empathize with you.  The very same thing happened to me, but it was at my Dentist's office.  When I came to on the roof, he showed me the damage I did to his entire office.  He said something about Charging me for the Novacaine triggered a violent response.  The only thing that survived was the TV on the wall, which surprised him because he told me how violently the screen was shaking.

Now, I wear dentures, just to avoid any further incidents.

[cgtrfghj7]

I am not worthy.

[neteng101]

Jack Crapper wrote...

Please, this is serious.  Why would you pick on my aixelsyd at a moment of sincere outreach like this?
My coach told me I was the first, but we should keep it hush until tryouts for Nationals.  Now you can understand the extent of my pain.  A potentially bright, shining career and a new world accomplishment all down the drain.

First of all, you really need to stop eating pizza.  Your coach would have told you that I'm sure.  And you better make that veggie shake and drink it all down.  Also stop wearing that devastator suit to practice, its intefering with your jumping.

[ChaseSanchez]

I get the feeling. At one point, I imagined all my decisions as 'paragon', 'renegade', and sometimes 'get more information'.

gf: "Can you help me with this necklace?"

paragon
me: "sure, would love to" (we then proceeded to heavy cheek kissing)

renegade
me: "not gonna happen, I'm a boss!" (farted in her face) "LETS BANG" (didn't bang)

get more information
me: "why?" "what's a necklace?"


Similar scenarios kept happening for a few months

[Happy Shepard]

Well, a few days ago i was at a bar with some friends. I did some jokes about emergency induction ports, but nobody would laugh. Then i got quite drunk and banged my head on the toilet's door and immediately yelled "My suit!". And when i got into this argument with this huge dude, i tried to tacscan him for debuff. Unfortunately, it didn't work. The last thing i could say before he knocked me down was "Bosh'tet!". 

Although i think this would have turned out better if i had put some points into Arc Grenades.

Modifié par Happy Shepard, 28 septembre 2012 - 12:58 .

[Asebstos]

I tripped and twisted my ankle the other day, tried crushing bugs to get my stacks up, but should have probably taken some Ibuprofen instead.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

neteng101 wrote...

Jack Crapper wrote...

Please, this is serious.  Why would you pick on my aixelsyd at a moment of sincere outreach like this?
My coach told me I was the first, but we should keep it hush until tryouts for Nationals.  Now you can understand the extent of my pain.  A potentially bright, shining career and a new world accomplishment all down the drain.

First of all, you really need to stop eating pizza.  Your coach would have told you that I'm sure.  And you better make that veggie shake and drink it all down.  Also stop wearing that devastator suit to practice, its intefering with your jumping.

You are right, and I really have let myself go.  I didn't start eating unhealthily until after ME3 MP, another sign of how it can destroy one's life.

The Devastator suit was only for practice, like wearing a ankle weights or carrying dumbells when doing aerobics.  The actual routine was going to be in a trenchcoat with tiger stripes and a crotch pad.  Somehow, this really gave me acrobatic abilities and amazing speed.

Thank you for your kind advice, though.  It really is appreciated.

[SectiplaveB4]

hahahahahaha, good read OP

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Flaming Snake wrote...

I... Uhhh...

I don't like to admit it, but whenever I see a parking inspector reach for their Omni-Tool, I look up to see what gets Tac-Scanned. I think their OTs aren't working properly, because nothing ever does. Anybody know where to get them fixed?

Any advice?

Uh oh, he probably is an enemy then.  Headbutting would be appropriate in that situation.  To avoid this in the future, I usually wear my Xray glasses.  They kind of brighten all lights and add all sorts of geometric artifacts to my vision, but I can at least see them before they reach my car.  Somehow, I can move faster to intercept them or just casually get into my car, as though I were invisible.  I recommend them highly.

[The Renegade Fem-Shep]

I ran at a bunch of cardboard boxes at work flinging them across the room screaming "for Tuchanka" and began firing my scan gun at perceived Cerberus troops, when I turned around a coworker looked at me like I was crazy. They don't understand what those of us who served go through every day of our lives.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

ChaseSanchez wrote...

I get the feeling. At one point, I imagined all my decisions as 'paragon', 'renegade', and sometimes 'get more information'.

gf: "Can you help me with this necklace?"

paragon
me: "sure, would love to" (we then proceeded to heavy cheek kissing)

renegade
me: "not gonna happen, I'm a boss!" (farted in her face) "LETS BANG" (didn't bang)

get more information
me: "why?" "what's a necklace?"


Similar scenarios kept happening for a few months

Something similar happened to me.  During a period of time, I got something like 12 traffic violations in one week.  Apparently, I had trained myself to mash the brake as fast as I could during red lights and floor the accelerator during greenish-blue lights, as though they would disappear moments later if I had hesitated.

I've been taking a taxi ever since. 

[Killahead]

Hahaha!

This is why I explicitly stated that I wasn't saying farewell in the thread I made earlier. As long as we can gather 'round the virtual campfire and listen to Jack Crapper telling stories about his dysfunctional life, I will still be around.

I won't even try to help keep the joke running, as I am still laughing really hard from this.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Happy Shepard wrote...

Well, a few days ago i was at a bar with some friends. I did some jokes about emergency induction ports, but nobody would laugh. Then i got quite drunk and banged my head on the toilet's door and immediately yelled "My suit!". And when i got into this argument with this huge dude, i tried to tacscan him for debuff. Unfortunately, it didn't work. The last thing i could say before he knocked me down was "Bosh'tet!". 

Although i think this would have turned out better if i had put some points into Arc Grenades.

I know exactly how you feel.  This is why I always wear a cloak when I go to the bar.

[Celtic Lullaby]

I love you.

[Asebstos]

Morugatu wrote...

I ran at a bunch of cardboard boxes at work flinging them across the room screaming "for Tuchanka" and began firing my scan gun at perceived Cerberus troops, when I turned around a coworker looked at me like I was crazy. They don't understand what those of us who served go through every day of our lives.

I saw my buddy get picked up and have a hand shoved through his chest five seperate times within a twenty minute span. Sure, we all got out of there alive, but the horror... the horror.

[Joltaire]

I know what its like. When I wanted someone to stop talking to me I used to scream, "Stasis!"

[Tallgeese_VII]

Keep the Ratio of PUG play higher than Friends play.. It will slow things down a little

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Asebstos wrote...

I tripped and twisted my ankle the other day, tried crushing bugs to get my stacks up, but should have probably taken some Ibuprofen instead.

Totally true.  You really have to watch out for those bugs.  They won't help you at all.  If you stack at least 3 Centurium Silver vitamins, I hear your ability to heal and ability to recoup after taking a hit will greatly increase.

[Komrade Kaos]

Somewhere, in some dimly lit office building. a lawyer is grinning and wringing his hands ominously.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Morugatu wrote...

I ran at a bunch of cardboard boxes at work flinging them across the room screaming "for Tuchanka" and began firing my scan gun at perceived Cerberus troops, when I turned around a coworker looked at me like I was crazy. They don't understand what those of us who served go through every day of our lives.

Post War Asset Traumatic Stress Disorder is no laughing joke, and it can happen to the strongest of us.  It really is hard to adjust.

Thanks for sharing.  It's nice to know I'm not alone.

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Killahead wrote...

Hahaha!

This is why I explicitly stated that I wasn't saying farewell in the thread I made earlier. As long as we can gather 'round the virtual campfire and listen to Jack Crapper telling stories about his dysfunctional life, I will still be around.

I won't even try to help keep the joke running, as I am still laughing really hard from this.

You are too kind.  Thank you for not leaving us, the continued support you give, and not treating this like a laughing matter, as many insensitive unaffected do.  I feel like I can make it through this with support from good friends like you.

Modifié par Jack Crapper, 28 septembre 2012 - 01:11 .

[Eriseley]

Not all stories are negative. I've been made head of HR when I presented my idea that Promotions immediately reset employees to level 1.

[BouncyFrag]

Rudest wrote...

Medigel and Credit donations are welcome!

This thread is even better, if you imagine Jack in your minds eye as a Krogan in a business suit.

And speaking in this manner:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKgaYZZ3g5c (the most polite Krogan in the universe)

[Learn To Love Yourself]

Tallgeese_VII wrote...

Keep the Ratio of PUG play higher than Friends play.. It will slow things down a little

I know this is true, but I can't bring myself to do it.  I know it will shift the interest more towards real life, but as far gone as I am now, I don't know how I will handle it.

I used to give my older, more rebellious daughter time out when she talked back to me.  Now, I stamp three red X's on her forehead with permanent ink and scream at her to stay in the closet with the bronze colored door.  What kind of monster have I become?  Just because she is 5 years old, I do this.  I should know better than to be prejudiced of low numbers like that.

I should hold and be willing to carry her more... but my ePeen is afraid of failure.