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[lambent templar]

 I just heard this and i almost spat my cofee out laughing;
Zevran- "so wynne, you are part of the circle of magi?"

Wynne-"Yes, why?"

Zevran-"We have a circle in Antiva, i visited their once and met a young lady who was desperate to learn more about the outside world."

Wynne-"sigh, go on.."

Zevran-"Is it true that every full moon the mages all gather on the top floor naked and make love under the stars?"

Wynne-"WHAT? no! goodness no! makers breath!"

Zevran-"It is the same in Antiva, i was hoping Ferelden would be different"

Legendary, i haven't laughed like that at a game in ages:lol:

Have you guys heard any good ones? I've caught a few between Oghren and Wynne (the guys seem to love her) that were quite funny

[BetteOfTheCleve]

This one never fails to make me laugh...


Shale: I have noticed that the painted elf seeks the attention of the Grey Warden.

Zevran: He certainly does.

Shale: I watched many such couplings during the time I spent immobile in Honnleath. Or should I say I was forced to watch. You do know that this usually ends in reproduction. I have seen it many times, indeed.

Zevran: Oh? That is not such a terrible thought. Creating a new life can be a great deal of fun.

Shale: So you say. I have no idea how a golem is created, but I doubt I shall be creating one anytime soon.

Zevran: Just as well, I imagine. Any lover of yours would no doubt be quickly reduced to a puddle of bruises.

Shale: So you see me winning the affection of another golem, do you? Most golems are slaves to whomever holds their control rod.

Zevran: Funny, it works exactly the same way for us as well.

[ShimmeringDjinn]

There are a few which really amuse me. Here's two of them.

    Wynne: Why do you occasionally refer to Alistair as a "little pike-twirler?"
    Oghren: Why? Has the little pike-twirler taken offence?
    Wynne: It's just a curious description.
    Oghren: Curious? (Snorts) Bah, it's entirely true. What, you haven't seen him twirling his pike? Goes at it when he thinks no one's watching. Knocks about in the trees like there's no tomorrow. Caught him just the other day. Blushed all the way down to his navel, then couldn't find his shirt. I swear he's going to hurt himself one of these days, the way he works that thing.
    Wynne: I don't want to hear this anymore, do I?
    Oghren: I keep telling him, pikes are for sticking things at long range, aye? Horses and such. Not for twirling like a sissy-girl.
    Wynne: Wait, you're talking about an actual pike? Like a spear?
    Oghren: Obviously. What else would I be talking about?
    Wynne: I can't imagine.
And this.

• Oghren: Ah. Yep. Lot of tension around here.
• Alistair: You think so, do you?
• Oghren: Know what I do to relieve tension?
• Alistair: I hesitate to wonder.
• Oghren: I polish the ol' weapon.
• Alistair: Really.
• Oghren: Yep. Give it a good shine. With a dry rag, then with a little grease.
• Alistair: That's disgusting.
• Oghren: You're telling me you never gave yer blade the old spit-shine?
• Alistair: I think that's private.
• Oghren: Really? Sodding Chantry and its rules. I like to do it right out in the open.
• Alistair: Where people can see you?
• Oghren: Yep.
• Alistair: Wait, what are you talking about?
• Oghren: What are you talking about?
• Alistair: (Sigh) Never mind.

[Ferretinabun]

Easily my favourite:

Zevran: So, err....is it Lord Loghain?
Loghain: I am no longer a teyrn, nor even a knight. Address me without a title, as you would any other Grey Warden.
Zevran: So just Loghain, then?
Loghain: Correct. What's on your mind?
Zevran: You know who I am, yes? I was one of the Crows you hired to kill the Grey Wardens.
Loghain: I thought you looked familiar.
Zevran: Well, I just wanted to report that I failed my mission, Loghain.
Loghain: You don't say.
Zevran: I'm terribly broken up over it.
Loghain: Hmm. Well thank you kindly for informing me.


But also in the running:

Shale: The swamp witch has a great deal in common with my former master.
Morrigan: "The swamp witch?" How original.
Shale: The swamp witch has the same arrogance, the same air of cruelty. I would hate for it to have possession of my control rod... if it still worked, of course.
Morrigan: Let me tell you what you can do with your control rod, golem.
Shale: Is it telling me that if the rod did work that it wouldn't want control over me?
Morrigan: I wouldn't go so far as that. I could, for instance, command you to go and jump in a lake. A very deep lake.
Shale: It fools no one. The swamp witch would control everything, if it could. It would have us all dancing on its strings.
Morrigan: Oh, you know me too well, golem. Your revealing gaze has laid me bare.
Shale: I will be watching the swamp witch. It must not be trusted.
Morrigan: (Sigh) Now you're beginning to sound just like Alistair.

And also:

Shale: Why does the bard stare at me so?
Leliana: I was thinking about writing a song about you. "The Statue with the Heart of Gold"... or something like that.
Shale: It thinks my heart is made of gold? It is stone, as anything else. Cold stone.
Leliana: I meant that you had... a good heart. It seems to be that you do.
Shale: And they call this having a "heart of gold?" Why?
Leliana: Uh... because gold is precious and shiny and... a good heart is just as valuable?
Shale: Shiny.
Leliana: In a manner of speaking.
Shale: My heart does not qualify as shiny. I kill. Frequently, and not without pleasure.
Leliana: You had a difficult life. Deep down, at the center of your being, you are a good person. I believe that.
Shale: Even though I have never demonstrated this aspect? How peculiar.
Leliana: You aren't all stone, Shale. There is a person inside of you.
Shale: If so, it is because I ate it.

[lambent templar]

I have just purchased the stone prisoner dlc yesterday and cant wait for the shale conversations, I brought her along to Return to ostagar and fair play she is an extremely capable scrapper.

[emeraldtrader]

Warden: How does one shrink a Golum?
Shale: With a chisel...and a lot of nerve!