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[Byronic-Knight]

Hello, and welcome to the latest installment in the odyssey concerning Mass Effect’s narrative implosion. 

As everyone is aware, the conclusion to the Mass Effect trilogy left a bitter taste in quite a few people’s mouths -- to put it mildly -- resulting in an outcry of protest and disdain so vast and pervasive that we continue to feel its influence on forums, blogs, and comment sections to videos sympathetic or oppositional to the idea that Mass Effect 3’s ending was, in fact, (one of) the worst ending(s) in the history of narrative design.

This is not quite the purpose of this post, however, as the ending has been discussed to no end, and in fact can quite easily be taped, glued, or sutured together to make something that is at least half-way decent -- it has been done more times and in more ways than anyone can really keep track of (as seen here - a small sample).

Instead, the purpose of this thread is a response to what I have lovingly referred to in my devArt Journal as the ultimate resignation in response to (generally) the most harsh and analytical criticisms -- "I’d like to see you do better."

Seeing this phrase one too many times, I thought I’d do something slightly different and actually accept the challenge. So, beginning in the middle of June -- in what may only be attributed to a lapse in sanity -- I began the torturous slog of rewriting the entire game; for my own personal satisfaction, enjoyment -- though, especially after doing this, I am now thoroughly burnt-out on Mass Effect -- and the sheer challenge of it.

I’ve seen several suggestions, or outright statements, over the months, that such a thing is required to adequately fix what’s wrong with the plot, particularly because the story’s problems are not confined to the ending, and requests for just such a thing, so it isn’t something that’s entirely uncalled for (as a generality). However, I have personally never seen more than a rough outline from anyone (example), when I wanted to see something with a bit more detail.

To that end, I present, for your reading pleasure, an almost scene by scene restructuring of the entire story starting with the moments after the conclusion of Mass Effect 2 -- be that the Suicide Mission or Arrival. This includes conversation progression, results of choices, and brief summaries of cut-scenes up until the final fade to black -- covering the main story missions and a few assigments (most notably, those concerning the recruitment of Aria’s merc bands). Because of this, however, it is much too long (just shy of 200,000 words), and ill-suited for a post in a forum. As such, I will provide links to my devArt uploads, divided into segments from prologue through to epilogue and the acts between.

Before I begin, though, I would like to qualify that even this does not quite ‘fix’ the story, to my satisfaction anyway. There are pacing issues, and a couple of things that don’t quite fit as I’d like them to. In doing this, I made the realisation (less startling to some, I’m sure) that in order to fix the story, I would have to rewrite Mass Effect 2 as well, with a few of this rewrite’s plot threads being present thereïn (something I morbidly entertain, but have no current inclination or aspiration of ever doing). All I’m doing is attempting to make a mound of garbage smaller.

Now, I don’t really want to give anything away (both because I’m evil like that, and because I’d like to avoid any sort of hype), but I would like to outline, in no particular order, what it is I am actually trying to rectify:
° ‘Starchild’: I guarantee he will not be present.
° Dialogue: I guarantee next to zero autodialogue, as well as neutral dialogue options.
° Cerberus: Attempting to not depict the organisation as a Cobra Command knock-off.
° TIM being evil: Bringing the abiguity back to Mr. Illusive.
° Commanding Competence: Attempting to portray everyone as having at least some semblance of intelligent thought behind their actions.
° Citadel Function: Remeber, it’s the Reapers’ main target because it controls the relay network; and it’s also a relay linked to dark space.
° Crucible: Yes, it’s present. Yes, you know what it does before you turn it on (see: commanding competence). No, you don’t find it on Mars.
° Giving purpose to Mass Effect 2: Attempting to explain the purpose of the Human-Reaper and providing an alternative discovery at Cronos Station if you destroy the Collector base.
° Reapers: Attempting to reëstablished the cosmic horror present in the first game, and changing their motivations entirely.
° The Rest of your Squad: Attempting to not reduce the ME2 cast to a collection of brief cameos. 

----

Now, without much further ado, I’d like to qualify that all quoted dialogue present was written spur-of-the-moment and is meant, more than anything, to convey a general sentiment. 

And as a quick note, these were uploaded as PDFs, and might appear squashed, depending on your display. Just right-click the ‘download file’ button, and it should open a new tab with the document full-screen, for easier viewing. 

-Prologue-

The Normandy approaches Arcturus Station as Shepard dreams of the raid of Saren’s base on Virmire.

-Introduction-

° Parliament listens to Shepard’s case.
° The Defense Committee is advised on strategy.

-Act 1-

° The Council hears Shepard’s case and decides if it wants to help.
° The Leadership of the Turian Hierarchy and Salarian Union are consulted.
° Liara makes a discovery on Mars.

-Act 2-

° The Batarian Hegemony falls.
° Liara makes another discovery.
° Cerberus infiltrates Grissom Academy.
° Turian Space is breached.

-Act 3-

° Earth is assaulted.
° War Summit formulates a plan.
° The Krogan are consulted.
° The Quarians pine for war.

-Act 4-
_part one_ 

° Palaven seeks aid from the Krogan.
° The Salarians show their hand.
° Horizon is found to have a Cerberus secret.
° The Citadel is attacked.

_part two_

° The Quarians confront the Geth.
° The Krogan are placated.
° Cerberus headquarters is discovered.

-Conclusion-

° Return to Earth.
° What’s so dark about Dark Space..?

-Epilogue-

Did you survive?
What impact did you have?
Will the galaxy be better for it?
Find out!!

As a final note, because the editing will take quite a while -- and because I really want this finished as soon as possible -- I probably won’t be around between updates all that much, but I will try to respond to as many comments, questions, concerns (etc) as I can -- if there even are any.

I will provide updates as frequently as I can. Enjoy.

*heavy sigh* Finished...

Modifié par Byronic-Knight, 20 mars 2013 - 11:53 .

[David7204]

It's going to take a while to read these...

[Byronic-Knight]

These are the shortest ones, too.

[David7204]

I'm looking at your profile, and damn did you hate the ending. So did I. If this is good, I'd be very interested in speaking to you.

[Ithurael]

hmm...looks good

though I may be the only one on this. I think the presence of a star-kid like entity is kinda necessary to wrap up the reaper saga in ME3. You could replace the starkid with the leviathan (a hologram I guess) but I eagerly await what you have in store.

[David7204]

Right, I hate to criticize such an effort right out of the gate, but I'm seeing a few things that concern me.

Since the Reapers are no longer invading right off the bat, I'm concerned how the introduction is going to establish ME 3 as a new chapter in the story. That's one of the reasons Shepard's death in ME 2 was so goddamn good; it very quickly established the setting and tone for the rest of the game: Shepard is dead and back to life, the old crew is gone, Shepard is working for Cerberus now. The setting and tone of ME 3 is that the Reapers are here and Earth is under attack. A lot of people seem to think the trial was cut just because the developers didn't feel like putting it in. That isn't true. If you delay the invasion for even just 30 minutes once the game starts, it feels like it takes 30 minutes for the actual story to begin.

Secondly, I'm skeptical about using a dream sequence to introduce combat. The first combat in any game always needs to introduce the mechanics, and that's going to be very difficult to do without causing issues with continuity. I understand it's a dream, but it would still feel weird to have Shepard using an omni-blade on Virmire. Besides, the first level should be a chance to show off new graphics, enviroments, animations, and the like. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have Virmire look drastically different.

Modifié par David7204, 10 octobre 2012 - 02:45 .

[Saito404]

So, in your version Ash/Kaidan can rejoin the crew only if you have two squadmates or romanced? 

[Byronic-Knight]

David7204 wrote...

Right, I hate to criticize such an effort right out of the gate, but I'm seeing a few things that concern me.

Since the Reapers are no longer invading right off the bat, I'm concerned how the introduction is going to established ME 3 as a new chapter in the story. That's one of the reasons Shepard's death in ME 2 was so goddamn good, it very quickly established the setting and tone for the rest of the game. Shepard is dead and back to life, the old crew is gone, Shepard is working for Cerberus now. The setting and tone of ME 3 is that the Reapers are here and Earth is under attack. A lot of people seem to think the trial was cut just because the developers didn't feel like putting it in. That isn't true. If you delay the invasion for even just 30 minutes once the game starts, it feels like it takes 30 minutes for the actual story to begin.

That relates to my mention of pacing issues, and a need for a rewrite of ME2. I told you, it does not ‘fix’ the game.

See, as it is, in relation to the overarching plot of the trilogy, ME2 is a waste -- it’s a side trip to the galactic core to kill a bunch of instects. What ME2 should have been about is preparing for the Reaper invasion. Sure, we learned a few things about the fate of the Protheans, but it wasn’t until the very end that we were even certain the Collectors had anything to do with the Reapers at all. Even with all the assertions about the Collectors working with/being slaves to the Reapers, it was all speculation until you see the half-assembled Reaper core being pumped full of fluid.

I’m not saying the Collectors couldn’t have been there, necessarily, but that if they were, there should have been a parallel plot-thread involving the search of a means for defeating the Reapers and gathering allies (salarians, turians, asari, etc).

Not to mention the Cerberus railroading that occurrs throughout the game that then forces the player in a position where the galactic authority refuses to listen to you, even though the Council (if saved) is on-board with your ‘the Reapers are coming, and I’m going to find a way to stop them’ plan at the end of ME1, and two of the most respected and highest ranking people in the Alliance -- Anderson (decorated war veteran, and possible Councillor) and Hackett (Commander of the entire Alliance Navy) -- are on your side so far as either of them state or is implied by the narrative. 

And then there’s Liara, who could have been searching for the big mysterious doodad we’re suddenly introduced to in ME3 during the last game instead of focussing soley on Farron (yes, I know he’s you’re friend, Liara, but I think the cybernetic squids that are coming to kill everything are a little bit more important). She could have found the plans for the Crucible sometime after the Horizon mission, and we could have been constructing it between then and the beginning of ME3.

All of that also relates to ‘commanding competence’ as in order for the grim-dark tone of ME3 to be in any way justified, it necessitates every official of every government sitting on their hands for three years, doing nothing to set up even a contingency in the hypothetical scenario that Shepard might actually be telling the truth, and actually concoct some convoluted rationale in an attempt to convince themselves that there is no threat.

This is expemlified by the Council. If you save them, during the brief interaction you have with them in ME2, they claim that "we have found nothing to suggest Sovereign was not a geth creation" and then claim "Saren was a compelling and charasmatic individual. He convinced the geth the Reapers were real."

So. . . Saren convinced the geth that Sovereign -- a ship they built -- was a Reaper? . . Really Councillor?

It is also seen in the Fall of Kar’shan -- so many batarians poured into Alliance Space that the Alliance thought it was an invasion with a thousand and one stories about how their homeworld went dark; yet nobody thought of asking themselves "I wonder if that Shepard guy was right?" not even Hackett or Anderson, who, as stated, believe the Reaper threat exists so far as is stated or implied? Nobody thinks to send a flotilla to scout the area? Nothing? They wait until the Reapers are bearing down on Alliance space, not even involving Shepard until they were in Sol, as the opening all but states explicitly.

Were I to actually rewrite ME2, a great deal of what’s in here would be moved over to there, but the preparatory phase -- which should have comprised at least a portion of ME2 -- is important in showing characters as intelligent, while still involving you in their thought-processes (you’re advising them, and they are coördinating based upon your advise, rather than "Here, Shepard, take this gun and do everything"), especially if you’re supposed to be depicting military leaders. 

Saito404 wrote...

So, in your version Ash/Kaidan can rejoin the crew only if you have two squadmates or romanced? [smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/wondering.png[/smilie] 

No, they rejoin later on regardless (and here I said I didn’t want to give anything away), but if you only have two squadmates survive the Suicide Mission, they can rejoin early.

----

That’s all for tonight, though; especially since I’ve been awake for two days.

Modifié par Byronic-Knight, 10 octobre 2012 - 04:08 .

[Xilizhra]

I like some things you've done, dislike others.

° ‘Starchild’: I guarantee he will not be present.

Entirely possible, but make the replacement worthwhile.

° Dialogue: I guarantee next to zero autodialogue, as well as neutral dialogue options.

I do prefer the autodialogue with squadmates when it happens aboard the Normandy, as I find it rather elegant compared to the extraordinarily clunky system of ME1 and the "we'll blow you off after two or three discussions" system of ME2.

° Cerberus: Attempting to not depict the organisation as a Cobra Command knock-off.

Cerberus' moral character never changed in ME3, only their goals and means. Which were considerable and frequently made little sense, but remember that it's always been evil.

° TIM being evil: Bringing the abiguity back to Mr. Illusive.

TIM was pretty damned evil even in ME2. It might not be enough to keep him from being an ally, but just note that.

° Commanding Competence: Attempting to portray everyone as having at least some semblance of intelligent thought behind their actions.

° Citadel Function: Remeber, it’s the Reapers’ main target because it controls the relay network; and it’s also a relay linked to dark space.

This is true, but it's also pretty much the "win game" button for the Reapers if they get it, so for dramatic reasons, they probably shouldn't until the very end, if that.

° Crucible: Yes, it’s present. Yes, you know what it does before you turn it on (see: commanding competence). No, you don’t find it on Mars.

I'll reserve judgment here for the time being.

° Giving purpose to Mass Effect 2: Attempting to explain the purpose of the Human-Reaper and providing an alternative discovery at Cronos Station if you destroy the Collector base.

Interesting, but reserving judgment.

° Reapers: Attempting to reëstablished the cosmic horror present in the first game, and changing their motivations entirely.

This I'm against. I like having the Reapers be explicable, and in fact, I'd like more opportunity to use their technology and techniques against them. I enjoy the power of knowledge conquering fear, more than I do just blindly striking against the darkness.

° The Rest of your Squad: Attempting to not reduce the ME2 cast to a collection of brief cameos.

Good if you can do it.

[David7204]

My respect for this project dropped about 30 points after reading that.

First of all, Shepard working with Cerberus in ME 2 is not "railroading" any more than Shepard become a Spectre is "railroading." Or Shepard being a soldier is "railroading." Or Shepard choosing to go after Saren and the Reapers at all. That is ridiculous. Shepard has solid reasons for working with Cerberus, and frankly, the Alliance has solid reasons for keeping basically ignoring Shepard.

Secondly, you seem to have an impression that the galaxy didn't build a big massive fleet, therefore, they're dumb and the leaders are dumb and the Alliance is dumb and everyone is so dumb. If the Council and Alliance really did fully support and believe Shepard, what exactly are they supposed to do? You talk about military, you really think that's the way the military would work in the real world? The fact is, the Alliance and the Council would probably do the exact same thing Cerberus did: recruit a fairly small but dedicated team of people to study and investigate the threat. Not only that, you ignore the Alliance commissioning Kenson to the Bahak System and Project Aurora - it's made very clear that the Alliance was taking steps to prepare themselves for a possible threat. The other races were probably doing just as much. You ignore the obvious technology upgrades that are in place by ME 2, which, believe it or not, don't happen overnight. You ignore the simple fact that an enemy intent on galactic annihilation is a concept that requires evidence orders of magnitude more than Sovereign's attack and existance provided. Not building a super-awesome-fleet because you got attacked by a big ship does not make you stupid.

Thirdly, using childish phrases like "grimdark" is not going to win you any points for me.

Modifié par David7204, 10 octobre 2012 - 05:29 .

[FlamingBoy]

just want to say
"I'd like to see you do better" argument has no basis in reality

[dorktainian]

the ending sucks.

it doesnt need over-analysing. it just does.

anyone who thinks any different has their heads stuck up a rear dark smelly tunnel.

a lesson in 'how to completely doom your game franchise'

[Reiku0]

My headcanon will always be that the reapers considered themselves the pinnacle of civilization, the ultimate race because they believed themselves immortal and all powerful. They can not die from old age, sickness, starvation, and do not suffer the same problems lower races do like poverty, greed, etc. They harvest to ensure their legacy continues to live on by making more Reapers. They believe they are doing lesser races a favor by allowing them to join in the glory of the Reapers.

Think back to every conversation you have concerning the reapers, with Sovereign and with Harbinger prior to ME3. You can easily see how their words fit my idea:

"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation. An accident. Your lives are measured in years, and decades. You whither and die. We are eternal.  The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."

"The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance, and at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished." 

"Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic civilization. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it."

"We are each a nation. Independent, free of all weakness."

"We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure."

-- Sovereign

"Human, you've changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as reapers are your salvation through destruction."

"You cannot stop us. We are the Harbinger of your perfection. We will bring your species into harmony with our own. Your species will be raised to a new existence. We are the beginning. You will be the end."

"There is no escape human. You must die, so that we may live."

"Your extinction is inevitable. The cycle cannot be broken."

"Organic life will not survive."

"You fight your own rebirth."

"Thank us, beg us, for immortality."

"You are called, you must answer. The void awaits your ascension."

"We have allowed this glory. We demand you accept."

"A minor setback. It changes nothing. You insult a future you cannot comprehend."

"Your disrespect grows tiresome. You threaten more than your destiny. You are the one wasting lives. You will cause confusion and delay. There will be a price for this."

"You challenge your own ascension. One must not destroy the nation."

-- Harbinger

Most of harbinger's dialogue lines listed here come from cut content in ME2. That they were voiced at all, lends credence to my idea.

[Byronic-Knight]

Greetings, once again, after a long interim.

As the newly updated title suggests - for those who still care - there are finally updates!!

First, apologies are in order.
1. I’m sorry this took so very long to complete (has it really been 5 months!? Damn...), but I regrettably - and frustratingly - was forced to rewrite quite a bit more than I thought I would have to, and I was quite sick for about the entire month of November.
2. I’m sorry I didn’t upload the various pieces as I finished them like I said I was going to, but as I was rewriting the various parts, there were certain sections that I felt fit better elsewhere (like a bit in act one that fit better in act two, as an example), and because I was unsure if, what, and where things would ultimately fall, I decided it was better to simply finish the entire thing first.
3. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to anyone above beyond those couple initial replies.

On the plus side, there won’t be any major delays for those chomping at the bit to read the entire thing (yes, all three of you).

There will be one, however.

As you might have noticed, I only uploaded up to act three. Rest assured there is more, but because they’re quite long, and I haven’t the slightest clue how quickly everyone can read - or how much reading on a computer screen everyone can tolerate - I’ll upload both parts of act 4 (yes, it’s that long), the conclusion, and epilogue tomorrow (probably in the afternoon sometime).

Modifié par Byronic-Knight, 22 mars 2013 - 04:30 .

[Byronic-Knight]

Alright... It’s done. All uploaded.

It might take a while for everyone to read, but if, at the end, anyone has any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll check back in in a couple days or so.

If you do reply and I don’t answer quickly enough for you, feel free to comment on my devArt account (on the journal, one of the sections, PM, whatever), as I check that more frequently than I stop in here.

Anyway, enjoy, and so long.

[Unified Force]

The amount of thought and effort you put into this is absolutely incredible.

I jumped ahead by looking at the Conclusion and Epilogue, but I can't overstate how well-laid out everything seems to be. Tying together all of those variables must've been a nightmare.

[Getorex]

dorktainian wrote...

the ending sucks.

it doesnt need over-analysing. it just does.

anyone who thinks any different has their heads stuck up a rear dark smelly tunnel.

a lesson in 'how to completely doom your game franchise'

I wouldn't put it quite so...colorfully...but I would agree that anyone that reads any "depth" or multiple meaning into the official ending (vs the correct ending: MEHEM) is looking at an inkblot of a Rorshach test.  There is (was) no there there.  There's no depth, no layers, no nothing but a termination of a series so a company could move on to another project (likely yet ANOTHER wizards and swords crap nonsense game).

Modifié par Getorex, 21 mars 2013 - 02:03 .

[Getorex]

Ithurael wrote...

hmm...looks good

though I may be the only one on this. I think the presence of a star-kid like entity is kinda necessary to wrap up the reaper saga in ME3. You could replace the starkid with the leviathan (a hologram I guess) but I eagerly await what you have in store.

Star kid can be dispensed with entirely (MEHEM does it quite nicely) OR you can convert him into a Vigil-like VI (MEEM).  The silly child is not in any way necessary.  I didn't even like the Leviathons. 

Case in point: what did they do for you in the final fight?  Where were they?  WTF are they hiding for all these gazillion years when all they need to do to crush a Reaper is think bad thoughts at them (as per the Leviathon DLC)?  They're LOSERS and add nothing to the game.  Weak has-beens. 

[Byronic-Knight]

Unified Force wrote...

The amount of thought and effort you put into this is absolutely incredible. 

I jumped ahead by looking at the Conclusion and Epilogue, but I can't overstate how well-laid out everything seems to be. Tying together all of those variables must've been a nightmare.

In a couple of places it truly was an ordeal (Cronos Station being the major one); all-in-all, though, it all flowed rather easily. It all just came down to saying "So what happens if you did this; okay, how about this; what if that person’s dead; etc." what took so long was going through every possibility one at a time, and trying very hard not to forget one - which incidently happened my first write-up in a couple of areas, leading to the extended time for editing, having to move things around and such.

On another note, I think a lot of other people are skipping directly to the end as well. I checked all the uploads when I read that, and the proper Acts have about 15 views each, and the Conclusion has around 40 -  which is a bit... disheartening, if that makes sense, because I wrote all that in the middle, and people are just skipping it... not that I’m bitter or anything. If you want to do that, I won’t hold it against anybody. It makes (well enough) sense, and that’s all I was trying to achieve.

Anyway, I believe I’ve started to ramble... sorry. Thanks for the feedback. 

[Oni Changas]

Well done, sir.

[Modius Prime]

I thought it was pretty stupid how the Citadel was the final thing assaulted. I mean, really, Bioware? The Citadel is the hub of all the mass relays, so of course the Reapers would assault it first. And, the Catalyst already knows about the Crucible and how other cycles failed to build it, so why didn't the Catalyst attack the Citadel first again? It should have started with Shepard on the Citadel consulting the council about the events of arrival, and then the Reapers attacking. You escape with Tevos, Valern, and Sparatus and your ship becomes an embassy for discussing the war. You then talk to the councilors and secure their own homeworlds (priority missions) after Liara finds the Crucible plans. Replace Cerberus HQ with Arcturas Station and then wrap it up with Earth and with ALL of your *significant* war assets changing the cutscene of the attack as well as influencing the outcome. Remove the whole beam thing and have a back-up plan that opens up the arms of the Citadel and have the Normandy land. TIM attempts to stop you from activating the Crucible (indoctrinated) and then the default ending is destroy. There are less reprecussions depending on your EMS which helps defend the Crucible.

[Argetfalcon]

 The purpose of the human-reaper was obvious they were gonna use it to try and open the citadel relay again

[Unified Force]

Byronic-Knight wrote...
In a couple of places it truly was an ordeal (Cronos Station being the major one); all-in-all, though, it all flowed rather easily. It all just came down to saying "So what happens if you did this; okay, how about this; what if that person’s dead; etc." what took so long was going through every possibility one at a time, and trying very hard not to forget one - which incidently happened my first write-up in a couple of areas, leading to the extended time for editing, having to move things around and such.

On another note, I think a lot of other people are skipping directly to the end as well. I checked all the uploads when I read that, and the proper Acts have about 15 views each, and the Conclusion has around 40 -  which is a bit... disheartening, if that makes sense, because I wrote all that in the middle, and people are just skipping it... not that I’m bitter or anything. If you want to do that, I won’t hold it against anybody. It makes (well enough) sense, and that’s all I was trying to achieve.
Anyway, I believe I’ve started to ramble... sorry. Thanks for the feedback. 

I remember getting so excited pre-release wondering how all of my little sidequest decisions would come up in ME3, and how disappointed I was when most of them hardly received so much as a reference. How you seem to have integrated all of those factors is like everything that I wish ME3 had been. 

Also for what it's worth I do plan on reading the rest eventually. As much as I love most of the rest of ME3 in spite of the ending, I think I could make a pretty long list of other aspects of the game that I personally think could've been handled much better than they were. Looking forward to seeing how you address them!

This deserves a lot more attention. From reading the Conclusion and Epilogue alone I think your version might become my headcanon of the game right along with Marauder Shields. 

Modifié par Unified Force, 22 mars 2013 - 06:16 .

[Byronic-Knight]

OniTYME wrote...

Well done, sir.

Thank you, kindly.

Argetfalcon wrote...

 The purpose of the human-reaper was obvious they were gonna use it to try and open the citadel relay again

Sure, that’s what the Reapers wanted it for - or they were getting the jump on the Reapers’ arrival, so they could have an ally that could strike from behind enemy lines, so to speak (along with the Collectors).

What I meant by "giving purpose to the Human-Reaper" was "why did TIM want it, and what was he using it for?" 

In-game, it’s reduced to little more than a prop, or piece of scenery, which  - along with the fact that it’s present whether you destroy the Collector Base or not - I thought was limp-wristed (to say the very least), considering it was ostensibly one of the most important choices in ME2.

I also thought it was a little bit important to explain why the Reapers wanted to make a Reaper out of humans in the first place.

Unified Force wrote...

Byronic-Knight wrote...
In a couple of places it truly was an ordeal (Cronos Station being the major one); all-in-all, though, it all flowed rather easily. It all just came down to saying "So what happens if you did this; okay, how about this; what if that person’s dead; etc." what took so long was going through every possibility one at a time, and trying very hard not to forget one - which incidently happened my first write-up in a couple of areas, leading to the extended time for editing, having to move things around and such.

On another note, I think a lot of other people are skipping directly to the end as well. I checked all the uploads when I read that, and the proper Acts have about 15 views each, and the Conclusion has around 40 -  which is a bit... disheartening, if that makes sense, because I wrote all that in the middle, and people are just skipping it... not that I’m bitter or anything. If you want to do that, I won’t hold it against anybody. It makes (well enough) sense, and that’s all I was trying to achieve.
Anyway, I believe I’ve started to ramble... sorry. Thanks for the feedback.

I remember getting so excited pre-release wondering how all of my little sidequest decisions would come up in ME3, and how disappointed I was when most of them hardly received so much as a reference. How you seem to have integrated all of those factors is like everything that I wish ME3 had been. 

Also for what it's worth I do plan on reading the rest eventually. As much as I love most of the rest of ME3 in spite of the ending, I think I could make a pretty long list of other aspects of the game that I personally think could've been handled much better than they were. Looking forward to seeing how you address them!

This deserves a lot more attention. From reading the Conclusion and Epilogue alone I think your version might become my headcanon of the game right along with Marauder Shields. 

That was one of the major reasons I wanted to rewrite the entire thing.

You have all these characters with very interesting backgrounds, intentions, motivations, and personalities, I found it a bit insulting that more than half of them get all but twenty minutes of screen-time (if that) or even their own specific role to play within the story. They’re just... wasted.

Thanks again for the support. 

Modifié par Byronic-Knight, 23 mars 2013 - 09:58 .