1051 réponses à ce sujet

[coldblossom]

AtreiyaN7 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, also the rest are living. No resurrection required for Teagan, Al, or Cullen. At least for most of the game.

But someone has to pay for Cullen's therapist! 

A mage with patience and a loving touch is all the therapy he needs. You know what?  I'll volunteer myself to do hi--the job. Take one for the team, free of charge. :innocent:

[Tirigon]

coldblossom wrote...

AtreiyaN7 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, also the rest are living. No resurrection required for Teagan, Al, or Cullen. At least for most of the game.

But someone has to pay for Cullen's therapist! 

A mage with patience and a loving touch is all the therapy he needs. You know what?  I'll volunteer myself to do hi--the job. Take one for the team, free of charge. :innocent:

I´ll hand him to you. One assclown less I have to kill..... Cullen sucks. If he would at least do it good....

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

coldblossom wrote...

AtreiyaN7 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, also the rest are living. No resurrection required for Teagan, Al, or Cullen. At least for most of the game.

But someone has to pay for Cullen's therapist! 

A mage with patience and a loving touch is all the therapy he needs. You know what?  I'll volunteer myself to do hi--the job. Take one for the team, free of charge. :innocent:

I´ll hand him to you. One assclown less I have to kill..... Cullen sucks. If he would at least do it good....

Uh-oh  

*ducks and covers waiting for all the Cullen fangirls to unite against Tirigon *


Edit: I'll donate my panda to the cause.  Tirigon shall be licked senseless for the blasphemy against our wavy-maned templar. 

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 02 janvier 2010 - 09:58 .

[Tirigon]

mrofni wrote...

westiex9 wrote...
PENASHA? why yes! that is the cannons name it was used during the qunari invasion of thedas during frontal assaults and rearguard actions. .............

Those sound like the same tactics the humans used to conquer the elves, and more recently Anora with Shianni. She needed Alistair to help flank her though. Nothing better then a married couple sharing a hobby.

And don't worry so much Tirigon. You know Shianni is clear headed. She decided that so long as Humans are in power, they will continue to rape and pillage her people. So for her people, sexing up Anora to get Alilstair in on the action and addicted before Anora has a little "accident" is a necessary evil. And if she enjoys herself on the way, that is just good clean fun. Ok, maybe not the clean part.

Oh yes, and Kolgrim should be in this competition. He's awesome, and he looks like Duncan's brother. He even has the beard!

No f*cking human is going to rape Shianni!
If it doesn´t scare them what I did to Vaughan (and, as he is resurrected, continue doing all the night:devil::devil:), they should keep in mind that I have paid the darkspawn to protect her. Everyone who hurts her will be eaten by the ogres. And that´s only the lucky ones. I hear the broodmother is looking for new human playmates.

[coldblossom]

Tirigon wrote...

coldblossom wrote...

AtreiyaN7 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, also the rest are living. No resurrection required for Teagan, Al, or Cullen. At least for most of the game.

But someone has to pay for Cullen's therapist! 

A mage with patience and a loving touch is all the therapy he needs. You know what?  I'll volunteer myself to do hi--the job. Take one for the team, free of charge. :innocent:

I´ll hand him to you. One assclown less I have to kill..... Cullen sucks. If he would at least do it good....

Hey, he would care less about "your"  Shianni if he met her, so I don't know why you'd have it out for him. And he was the only Templar to survive at the top of the tower because he "sucks."  Sure, makes sense.

[Tirigon]

coldblossom wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

coldblossom wrote...

AtreiyaN7 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, also the rest are living. No resurrection required for Teagan, Al, or Cullen. At least for most of the game.

But someone has to pay for Cullen's therapist! 

A mage with patience and a loving touch is all the therapy he needs. You know what?  I'll volunteer myself to do hi--the job. Take one for the team, free of charge. :innocent:

I´ll hand him to you. One assclown less I have to kill..... Cullen sucks. If he would at least do it good....

Hey, he would care less about "your"  Shianni if he met her, so I don't know why you'd have it out for him. And he was the only Templar to survive at the top of the tower because he "sucks."  Sure, makes sense.

The only reason he survives is that I had no dialogue-option involving "Kill him". Besides, he is a templar. For me as bloodmage this is enough reason to kill him.

Oh, and the fact that he turned my mage girl down when I offered him to get to know each other better. NOONE turns such a cute redhead down without having to pay for it.

Modifié par Tirigon, 02 janvier 2010 - 10:22 .

[coldblossom]

Tirigon wrote...

coldblossom wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

coldblossom wrote...

AtreiyaN7 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, also the rest are living. No resurrection required for Teagan, Al, or Cullen. At least for most of the game.

But someone has to pay for Cullen's therapist! 

A mage with patience and a loving touch is all the therapy he needs. You know what?  I'll volunteer myself to do hi--the job. Take one for the team, free of charge. :innocent:

I´ll hand him to you. One assclown less I have to kill..... Cullen sucks. If he would at least do it good....

Hey, he would care less about "your"  Shianni if he met her, so I don't know why you'd have it out for him. And he was the only Templar to survive at the top of the tower because he "sucks."  Sure, makes sense.

The only reason he survives is that I had no dialogue-option involving "Kill him". Besides, he is a templar. For me as bloodmage this is enough reason to kill him.

Oh, and the fact that he turned my mage girl down when I offered him to get to know each other better. NOONE turns such a cute redhead down without having to pay for it.

He turned me down, too. Instead of cryin' about it, I've decided to try again. When he's alone, and vulnerable, and far from the Chantry...:innocent:

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[Tirigon]

coldblossom wrote...

He turned me down, too. Instead of cryin' about it, I've decided to try again. When he's alone, and vulnerable, and far from the Chantry...:innocent:

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Hmm. If such a cute fellow mage really wants to get him I´ll let him live just for you. But tell him not to try something against me. If he attacks me I WILL kill him, even if this ruins your love. Deal?

[coldblossom]

Tirigon wrote...

coldblossom wrote...

He turned me down, too. Instead of cryin' about it, I've decided to try again. When he's alone, and vulnerable, and far from the Chantry...:innocent:

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Hmm. If such a cute fellow mage really wants to get him I´ll let him live just for you. But tell him not to try something against me. If he attacks me I WILL kill him, even if this ruins your love. Deal?

Deal. He'll be too exhaust--I  mean busy...rather, he'll be...nevermind. He won't be coming after you and that's all that matters. If for some strange reason he DOES, then that means I'm probably dead and he's just looking for an honorable way to join me, so killing him would be win-win. Actually, win-win-win, because I'll see him in the Fade.

[KnightofPhoenix]

coldblossom wrote...
He turned me down, too. Instead of cryin' about it, I've decided to try again. When he's alone, and vulnerable, and far from the Chantry...:innocent:

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You girls are getting scarier with each passing day.

And as the Joker said
"I am a little frightened of you. I like that"

[Tirigon]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

coldblossom wrote...
He turned me down, too. Instead of cryin' about it, I've decided to try again. When he's alone, and vulnerable, and far from the Chantry...:innocent:

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You girls are getting scarier with each passing day.

And as the Joker said
"I am a little frightened of you. I like that"

You know what´s funny about this? I could have said just the same as Coldblossom. But if I had, I would mean that this is a great chance to send him to the Maker, while she talks about opening the way to eternal damnation for him.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Just wanted to jump-start the thread again.  Egads, it had fallen to the second page.  We can't have that, now can we? Not when the Miss Fereldon thread is still on the first page.  Besides it was getting a little weird over there.......something about me in metal lingerie..............I swear I must be the only girl who hangs out over there.  So I came back here to be with the cute Fereldon hotties and.........um, pandas. 


And btw, Go Ali and Cailan.  



Kerridan we miss you.    We need more of your funny posts.



Can we kill Anora yet? That would at least keep us entertained til Kerridan gives us another post.

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 03 janvier 2010 - 12:00 .

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Just wanted to jump-start the thread again.  Egads, it had fallen to the second page.  We can't have that, now can we? Not when the Miss Fereldon thread is still on the first page.  Besides it was getting a little weird over there.......something about me in metal lingerie..............I swear I must be the only girl who hangs out over there.  So I came back here to be with the cute Fereldon hotties and.........um, pandas. 


And btw, Go Ali and Cailan.  



Kerridan we miss you.    We need more of your funny posts.



Can we kill Anora yet? That would at least keep us entertained til Kerridan gives us another post.

Ali and Caillan are only acceptable if they wear your metal-lingerie

And if you want to kill Anora join my group, I do it all the time, i would enjoy company......

[Sialater]

Anora needs to die. She's one of THOSE women.





Hey, Amethyst: Hot Templar boys in leather pants. 'Cause I have no interest in chainmail lingerie.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Since Kerridan is going to handle the main lineup of men, I'll just introduce some of the honorable mentions:

Wynne: *getting giddy with excitement* Does this mean you're finally going to have the hottest mage in all of Fereldon on the show?

me: umm, well I don't know that all of us would consider the First Enchanter hot, but.........

Wynne: *looking slyly at Irving and giving him a wink* You just don't know Irvi the way I do.

me: Ewww, well that's just a little too much information there Wynne.  Anyway, without further delay, here is the First Enchanter of the Fereldon Mages Circle, Irving!!

Wynne: *jumps up and down and whistles*

Irving: *blushes slighty and smiles slyly at Wynne*

Wynne: *starts giggling like a schoolgirl*

me: Wynne, you are very sprightly for a woman your age.  Is it that spirit that is inside you that makes you like that?

Wynne: *grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary*

Alistair: It's pigeon, the cat that swallowed the pigeon. Maker, how come nobody ever gets that right?

me:  Where's that damned panda?  Go give Ali a nice bear hug and get him off the stage. *turns to Wynne* Now what were you saying about the spirit inside of you, Wynne.

Wynne: Well, before the show *Wynne starts to giggle uncontrollably* it wasn't the spirit that I had inside me, it was Irv......

me: Oh maker..........tooo much information *face turning bright red*

Wynne: He's a real stallion in bed, you know.  It's the mage in him.  Mages have special potions they use for........

me: Wynne!  Ok, we get it, he's a real stud in bed.  *trying to stay calm*

Irving: *scratching his long beard - something crawls out of it and onto his shoulder*

me: ewww *trying not to stare*

Irving: Ahh, my lovely Wynne, I can't take all the credit.  Those long legs of yours........

me: Umm, First Enchanter.

Irving: And that magical bosom........

me: First Enchanter!

Irving: And those hips that won't stop......

me: First Enchanter and Wynne, stop it!

*Irving and Wynne stare into each other's eyes and start to giggle uncontrollably*

me: sigh!!!

*Gregoir walks in and sits beside Wynne and stares slyly at Irving*  *Gregoir gives Irving a knowing wink*

me: Maker, what goes on in that tower anyway?

Irving: You just have nooooo idea *grins slyly and follows Gregoir and Wynne out the door*

me: Wellll, that didn't go so well.

Alistair: See, I told you I should have been next. *panda gives him big bear hug and knocks Alistair off the stage* *Thump!*

me: Oh, Ali!!!!! *worriedly storms off stage*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 06 janvier 2010 - 06:59 .

[Tirigon]

Oh damn, so everyone writes something. Well, I guess I shall post something then, too. But not now. After playing Halo Wars to get ideas ;p

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Just wanted to jump-start the thread again.  Egads, it had fallen to the second page.  We can't have that, now can we? Not when the Miss Fereldon thread is still on the first page.  Besides it was getting a little weird over there.......something about me in metal lingerie..............I swear I must be the only girl who hangs out over there.  So I came back here to be with the cute Fereldon hotties and.........um, pandas. 


And btw, Go Ali and Cailan.  



Kerridan we miss you.    We need more of your funny posts.



Can we kill Anora yet? That would at least keep us entertained til Kerridan gives us another post.

Ali and Caillan are only acceptable if they wear your metal-lingerie

And if you want to kill Anora join my group, I do it all the time, i would enjoy company......

Ali and Cailan in Wha??????

There's no way I'd.............*thinking about it, thinking about it*.................hmmm, it does have potential come to think of it.

Duncan: Hmmm, I really like that idea.  Boys, why don't you both join me in my tent with that metal lingerie.  *rubs his all-knowing beard rather slyly*

me: Umm, Duncan, you kind of creep me out sometimes.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

Oh damn, so everyone writes something. Well, I guess I shall post something then, too. But not now. After playing Halo Wars to get ideas ;p

You can write Cullen's interview.  We know how much you love him.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Sialater wrote...

Anora needs to die. She's one of THOSE women.


Hey, Amethyst: Hot Templar boys in leather pants. 'Cause I have no interest in chainmail lingerie.

After much consideration, I have to agree.  Leather pants on Ali and Cailan are much hotter than metal lingerie.


Duncan: I demand a recount.  I think the metal lingerie wins in every category!!! *scratches his beard in frustration*

me: Umm, Duncan, why are you wearing a metal corset????

Duncan: *red-faced* Ahem, no reason.  *Duncan, runs back to his tent*  Miss me, boys?

me: Whaaa?????

[amethyst_rose2009]

me (noble human female pc): And now ladies and gents, I introduce the sexiest arl in all of Fereldon...........

*Arl Eamon stands up and walks toward the stage*

me: Umm, no. Please sit down Arl Eamon, ser.  If Ms. Kerridan wants you, she can interview you.  Not I.  Sorry, it's the old man beard, dude.  Seriously, what does Isolde see in you?

*Isolde is sitting beside Teagan staring deeply into his eyes and whispering softly into his ear, completely oblivious that everyone in the audience is now staring at her*

Arl Eamon: *raises an eyebrow and shakes his head*  Why is it Teagan gets all the lovin' anyway?

me: *getting frustrated* Well, he's younger, sexier, beard looks waaayyy bettter, and well he's Teagan. What else is there to say, really?  Sigh.  Alright, where was I?  Oh yeah,  allow me to introduce to you the sexiest, bravest, richest, kindest, and just the best dang arl there is in all of Fereldon, Bryce Cousland.

Bryce (dad):  *blushing* Alright, there pup, that was a little over the top, don't you think so?

me: *batting my eyelashes like only daddy's little princess can* No, daddy, *giggle*, I mean Bryce, I meant all those things.  You are that and so much more.  *bats eyelashes again*

Bryce (dad): *laughing graciously*  Ok, pup.  Now that you've got me here, even though I certainly don't think I am the least bit sexy or anything worthy of being on this show, what is it that you wanted to ask me?

me:  Isn't he so adorable, girls, with all that modesty?  *giggle* 

Bryce: *laughs nervously and blushes*

Alistair: *rolls his eyes and sighs* Oh, for the love of the Maker!

me: *winks at Ali* Don't worry, lover boy, I'll be with you soon enough. *giggle*

Bryce: *raises an eyebrow and glares at Alistair*  Pup, who is this and how do you know him?

me:  He's this gray warden, bastard prince I met a while back.  Isn't he simply adorable? *giggles and bats eyelashes at Alistair*

Alistair: *turns bright red and stares at Bryce Cousland nervously*

Bryce:  *angrily starts to walk toward Alistair*  Boy, if you've deflowered my little girl...........!!!!!

Alistair: Yikes!  Where's the panda?????

me: *giggles* Don't be silly, daddy.  Darrien already did that a long time ago back in Highever.

Alistair: *sad puppy dog eyes* But you told me you had never licked a lamppost before!

me: *blushing*  Oh, I did?  Ha, silly me.  Must have forgot about Darrien.  Don't worry, he doesn't count.  He died shortly afterwards anyway.

Alistair: *looking terrified* Yikes!

me: And besides he was the only one..........I mean other than Cammen and that templar who wouldn't let me cross the lake to the mages tower without a.........ahem.....bribe.  Sten offered his cookies, but well, I knew something muuuccchhh better than cookies.  And well the inn was right there and all........

Alistair: So that's where you disappeared to for so long.  You said you were going in there to talk to him in private. *sad puppy dog eyes*

me: Wellllll, there wasn't exactly much talking.  But hey, I got us across the lake, didn't I? *turning to look at Bryce*  Now please sit down daddy and let's be civil and continue our interview shall we?

Bryce: *still in shock over his little girl's naughty confessions sits down slowly and glares angrily at Alistair*

me: Now daddy, when I left the castle with Duncan that night, you and mom were in grave danger.  So tell our audience, how did you make your daring escape?

Bryce: It was the strangest thing..... this large bird swooped down from the sky and plucked your mother and I up with her talons and flew us to safety.

Alistair: Swooping is bad.

me: *glaring at Alistair* Sigh. *turns to face dad* Wow, daddy, your rescue sounds eerily familiar.  It is good that she managed to save you from Howe's guards just in time.

Bryce: That it is, pup.  We wouldn't have survived without her.  She wanted something in return, however, that I was a bit hesitant to give her................*blushes*

me:

Bryce: Something about needing a new daughter just in case the other one betrayed her and ran away to the Frostback Mountains.......or something like that. 

me: She needed a new.........daughter?????  Umm, dare I ask what the favor was that she asked you to perform, daddy?

Bryce: *Trembling slightly*  NO!  Bad memories...........horrible.........your mother's still not speaking to me.

me: OKAAAAYYYY.  A little freaked out now.

Alistair: *Falls over laughing* Better you than me.

me: *turning to face Alistair*  I haven't talked to you about Morrigan's proposal yet, have I ?

Alistair: Whaa????

me: Umm, nothing.  Not important.  *turns to Bryce*  Well I just want to say that I am sooooooo happy you survived, daddy.  I just don't know what I would do without you!  *tears up and runs to daddy's arms*  By the way daddy, have I ever told you I have an ever-so-slight Electra complex about you. *bats eyelashes at daddy*

Alistair: *jaw drops*  Whaaa??????? Ewwwww. 

Bryce: *manages to free himself from his daughter's firm grip*  Well, now isn't that just nice.........*laughs nervously*  Well, it was so nice to see you again, pup........but I really must be going now.......*flees stage*

me: *sad puppy dog eyes* Dadddddyyyyy!!!!

Alistair: *raises eyebrow* Well, at least I still have a panda.  *panda licks Alistair's face lovingly*

Duncan: *Duncan wiggles in between Alistair and panda and smiles slyly* I've got metal lingerie!!!

Alistair: *looks terrified* Gulp!

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 06 janvier 2010 - 07:02 .

[Sialater]

Technically, it's an Electra Complex.





And THAT was funny! You did a great job! Especially with Al meeting his future father-in-law....

[amethyst_rose2009]

Sialater wrote...

Technically, it's an Electra Complex.


And THAT was funny! You did a great job! Especially with Al meeting his future father-in-law....

Electra? Darn, I'll go and change it then.  *runs off to make quick edit*

BTW, thanks.    Kerridan and KnightofPhoenix were my inspiration.

[Sialater]

I don't write comedy well. I specialize in sarcasm and snarky remarks. I also have no idea who I'd tackle...

[amethyst_rose2009]

Sialater wrote...

I don't write comedy well. I specialize in sarcasm and snarky remarks. I also have no idea who I'd tackle...

Yeah, I'm kinda all burned out in silly creativity for tonight.  Can't think of anybody else to write about either right now anyway.  I thought about Fergus, but after the dad I can't think of anything to say about him.  And it still freaks me out what he says about the sword to his son .......so I'm not sure about him.  Maybe Cammen would be funny, though.  I don't want to do any of the obvious ones.  I'll leave those to Kerridan.

[Tirigon]

So, I have finished playing Halo Wars. After about 5 minutes ingame it turned out to be as interesting as a naked nug, and about as difficult and challenging too. So, I have threatened I would bring my annoying you all to the next level, and noone shalt say I don´t do what I say.
First, I considered interviewing Teagan. I had to abandon this thought, however, for two reasons, one being that after interviewing Teagan, noone would be interested in the other contestants anymore.  The other reason was simply that when I spoke to him in private it became rather quiet really soon. Darn, you don´t know how hard it is to ask questions if there is such a huge, awesome... youknowwhat..... as Teagan´s.. right in front of your mouth....
So, next idea was fulfilling Amethyst_Rose´s wish and speaking with Cullen. However, I just couldnt resist the urge to invite him in a quiet room (with no sexual intention whatsoever!!!!), and it turned out that Cullen has mental problems that give him a terrible fear of closed rooms. He ran off crying, and I couldnt catch him on account of rolling around laughing as if there was no tomorrow...:D:D:D:D:D

Well, to cut this short, I finally found a good, awesome, and famous person to talk to.

WARNING!! I´m a decadent, bored person and the following text will definitely involve sex, drugs, Rock´n´Roll, metal lingerie, Shianni, NO broodmothers, and other things that might be inappropriate to children below the age of 80. You have been warned.


Gentlemen, hold your wifes firmly, Ladies, save your breath and throw your pants, for HE will come soon, the one, THE ONLY, THE FAMOUS, STUNNING, INCREDIBLE CAMMEN!!!!!!

*Cammen walks in, nods to the female audience and smiles shyly*
*The interview is ready to start, or well, it would be if the crying ladies could shut up for a second...*

Tirigon (in a rather apathic mood; you can see clearly that the meeting with Teagan was impressive....): "So, Cammen. I guess I can cut the salutation, these ladies have already greeted you, I understand?"
Cammen: "Well, hello to you my f-f-f-f-.....-friend."
Tirigon: "Oh, I didn´t know you were so scared to be here. Don´t tell me they were THAT hard to you, most of them seem quite nice to have around, especially the one over there in the metallic bra..." (He winks to the girl and throws a kiss)
Camen (slightly reassured): "Oh, well my dear, it´s just... I have never been outside of the Brecilian Forest. It´s a ... quite new experience, so many people in one place.... And so many WOMEN!!! I didnt know there were so many women in the entire WORLD!!"
Tirigon: "Ah, all right. You know, i expected you would be terrified by even a single person actually looking at you without vomiting, so, you keep yourself together fairly well. Oh, and have you really ever been in the Forest? I hear you are not even able to hunt a single wolf?"
Cammen (now surprised by Tirigon´s friendly speech): "Ehm, y-y-y-y-you know, I, I think I.. m-m-mis-misunderst-stood you there. Did y-y-yyou a-actually say p-people VOMIT if they s-s-see m-me?!"
Tirigon (friendly, benevolent): "Oh, you´re right, why would I say such a thing about someone with such an astonishing face as you have? Dang, if it wasn´t for my dear Shianni, I would lick your lamppost right here, in front of all those Ladies and Gentlemen!" (He chuckles and grins.)
Cammen (blushing, clearly flattered): "Oh darling, thanks for those friendly words, the last time I´ve heard that was in the Pearl when I was employed this awesome Warden, you know, Alistair´s girl..."

*The audience is silent. You don´t hear a single tone for a while, then:*

Gheyna (running from the backstage-area onto the stage, screaming on the top of her voice, her face reddened by anger and shame): "Cammen! CAMMEN! You dirty, rotten, son-of-a-human-B*tch! What have you done to me?! I always thought you were the innocent, slightly retarded, friendly young looser our Clan has known for years!! and now I hear you work in the PEARL?! DENERIM´S GREATEST, FAMOUS WH0REHOUSE?!"
Tirigon (smiling devilish): "Well, Gheyna, I TOLD you it would be worth to come, didn´t I?  But.. Am I the only one who wonders how you know about the Pearl, what with you being the first time away fro your clan?"
Gheyna (her voice broken, her anger gone): "Oh, Maker... It all breaks down, doesn´t it... You found out....."
Tirigon: "Yes, I did. And, funnily enough, we are on TV. About 500 Million people, and another 200 million Orlesians, dwarfs, Dalish and templars, did so, too."
Cammen: "So... What´s gonna happen, now?"
Gheyna: "I know! We need to tell them, and they will forgive us!!!"
Tirigon: "I doubt it. But I´m bored right now, and I like lewd stories, so go ahead. Oh, and someone bring me a glass of wine and a nice girl. In metal lingerie."
Gheyna and Cammen, together: "Well, you know... It all started a while ago, when Anora came to us and told us about her plan.... She wanted to conquer Thedas, and we all knew that such a thing can´t happen. Unless, of course, if we would hold the control rods of the majority of Thedas´ population. So we thought we would gather the most awesome people of Ferelden under our banners [these may not be shown here, or the FBI would intervene] to take control of every man - and quite a lot of women, too - in the entire universe. HARHARHAR!!!! NOONE would resist us!!!!!!!! We put awesome agents in every part you will eventually visit if you try to save Ferelden from the Blight (which is paid by Anora, btw)."

*Shianni, wearing metal lingerie, apears on stage. She starts making out with Tirigon.*

Cammen: "Yeah. You know many of these agents. There is Cullen, the hot girls in the Lothering chantry, me and Gheyna of course, this Bella in Redcliff, ....  Yeah, pretty much everyone featured in your °Miss° shows. And every contestant here of course. Oh, even the nugs you can get in the Pearl belong to us!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! 4LL_Y0UR_G1RLS_4R3_B3L0NG_T0_US!!!!!! 0wn3d!!!!!"
Gheyna: "Eh, all right, I guess he´s finally gone nuts now. This was too much. Well, I understand him. Our plan of world domination has just been discovered. By a guy who does not even listen to our confessions."
(She glares at Tirigon and Shianni, doing something that should not be shown in Free-TV)
Cullen (suddenly appearing on stage, waving an old, wooden sword usually used by children): "No worries, I will kill these bloodmages, I will save you all, kill, save, like a real templar, save, kill, kill, save, chill, shave..." (he knocks himself unconscious with his own sword)

*the audience is in uproar. some are commiting adultery, others steal TVs out of burning stores, yet others simply run for their life. You know that kind of thing, it happens all the time, if something happens*

Tirigon (making himself free of Shianni, smiling, dressing himself again): "Ok Ladies and Gentlemen, now this was quite a discovery. You know, I only found out that Cammen and Gheyna both work at the Pearl, I would not have dreamed of a plan to conquer the universe. Things can happen, lol."
*he stares at Anora´s Secret Service agents coming into the hall, then continues:*
"Well, and me and Shianni will now go quite fast, quite quite far away. I will probably be hunted by the entire Fereldan Secret Service, the templars, every Fan of any of those people featured today, and of course Amethyst_Rose2009, who inspired me to involve metal lingerie into my show, and, to be honest, to write this bullsh*it at all. Thanks alot to you, my fair lady!!!! So, in the unlikely case of surviving this, we might well meet again! If not, I wish you to have, reading this,at least half the fun I had writing it. Cause if so, i might even have a chance NOT to be burned for heresyB)"