1051 réponses à ce sujet

[westiex9]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

westiex9 wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Oh snap! People are adding! I think, I may cry. ~Cries~

Great Job amethyst, Tirigon and West.

I kinda got lost in the Deep Roads yesterday. I'll see if I can update today though.

Oh, yay!!! She's back! *jumps and down excitedly*

*joins Amethyst in excited jumping

Now we can show her the Qunari cannon i borrowed

edit: lol thanks Amethyst i didn't think it was going to work but eamon's needed to be done

Coming up a VHS special "Arch-demon A Hollywood insider story"

Archdemon- i had a really bad childhood my father was really abusive and that was kinda what led me down the path i took. First i did drugs then i got into a rock band and then i...Wanted to KILL AND BURN ALL HUMANITY....REVENGE!!!!

Me: sooooo.......rock bands  yeahhhh how bout those

ONLY ON VHS!! 

Oh darn.  And I was hoping it would be on dvd!  I was just about to place my order too.

(VHS music plays)

Thorin: I am reporting live from the roof of the Mister ferelden 2009 building where we are about to interview a very special guest, folks i give you the Arch-demon!
Arch-demon: Hey Thorin Pleasure to be here and may i say your people always make such great...Dinner guests..
Thorin: er hehehe(nervous laughter) right.....moving on to the main event then why dont you tell us about your childhood

Growing pains(well you'd have em too if you were a ancestor knows how large dragon)

Arch-demon: So dumat was always so quiet and distant and he never really opened up to us, and i think that had a really negative effect on me and the other Old Gods

Thorin: do you resent him for being distant?

Arch-demon: well a little but then there was this other guy who did our family great harm he was called the "maker" or some pretentious name like that. real jerk, had us seperated and imprisoned i think he worked for social services. Anyway after we got seperated i got into hard drugs and started playing in  a rock band

Arch-demon: so i spent most of my time on the net communicating with these dudes in robes they were really nice but i think they may have been Depressed or something cus they always had slit wrists and palms. Every couple of day's id snort some Dwarfs and a coupla elves and i was happy with this lifestlye for a while.

Thorin: but it wasn't enough was it

Arch-demon: nah i needed more stimulation and i still resented the maker from social services, so i convinced my buddies to gate crash his pad it was RADICAL!!! But i needed more excitement so i started my own band

Thorin: what was it called?

Arch-Demon: Hurlocks ate my thaig  we had great fun and i even met my wife, broodmother she was awesome always there to lend a hand(or tentacle) and so things went pretty smoothly after that i mean my band worked great and business was booming!

Thorin:  RIIIIGGGGHTTTT well moving on swiftly... when did you decide to start getting into the world despoling business


Arch-Demon: well it was at a big concert and i was playing on stage...some kid jumped up onstage and i lost it

Thorin: what happened?

Arch-demon: i errr...i really shouldn't say....

Thorin: go on! 

Arch-Demon: well i....TORE HIS FRIGGIN HEAD OFF AND FEASTED ON HIS TWITCHING CORPSE AS THE BLOOD FLOWED 
ONTO THE CROWD!!! HEY GET THAT CAMERA OUTTA MY FACE!!!!

Thorin: oh crap 

(Arch-demon scoops up members of the audience and starts eating them) 

Arch-demon: I AM IMMORTAL!!! NO MAN IS GONNA KILL ME!!! BLOOD WILL FLLLLLOOOOOOWWWWW!!!

Thorin:  folks we are going to have to cut to commercials until our guest calms down over to you in the studio!!!(ducks as a headless corpse flies past) 


  

Modifié par westiex9, 03 janvier 2010 - 02:38 .

[Kohaku]

Wow. The arch demon is bad ass. Badder ass than what we see in the game.

[Tirigon]

Oh man. I may not sleep anymore, I miss too much fun if I do...

[Kohaku]

Tirigon wrote...

Oh man. I may not sleep anymore, I miss too much fun if I do...

We can never sleep. I didn't come on for a day and look what I missed.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Edit: DELETE, DELETE, DELETE.  Nothing to see here.  Nope.

So nobody else has to read how completely hopeless I am and my confusion about the day of the week.

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 03 janvier 2010 - 03:55 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...




 So, tell me where to start. ~He takes off his breastplate and his shirt. His muscles rippling under the lights~
Noemi: ~Her mouth drops~ How did we never see this before?
Nemiah: So that’s the reason dad was hiding him! Thanks for nothing daddy!

Ahhh, Ser Gilmore, how I wished it had been you warming my bed that fateful instead of Darrien.  *swoon*

[amethyst_rose2009]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...


Nemiah: You know, I think Amethyst was looking for you. She had a panda that was actively seeking you out.
Alistair: A… panda?
Noemi: Looked big.
Nemiah: And scary.   
Alistair: Uh… I’ll just go over there for now. ~He bolts~
Cailan: Come back brother! Shouldn’t we lament together?! ~He sulks off stage~

Ahh, he's not big and scary, are you my cute adorable panda cub? *Big slobbery panda lick all over camera* *Cut to commercial break*

[westiex9]

Thorin: folks half the rooftop audience are dead and my camera crew have been turned into snack food but our guest is finally calm again and ready to resume the interview

Arch-demon:errr...yeah sorry bout the audience childhood memories always make me lose it  (dries eyes with tissue)

Thorin:soooo... you had a major turning point in your life at the concert

Arch-demon: yeah it was like a totally new experience killing and eating that concert audience.....a kind of "point of no return" i mean no on would come to our concerts after that, but at that point all i wanted to do was despoil and KILLL....you know what i mean

Thorin: errrrr yeah...suuuuurrreeee so what was your next move

Arch-demon: well i kinda waited awhile underground ya know, wanted some time to reflect and relax. Other family members pretty much took to the despoiling business while i was gone and it seemed like i had a lot of free time

Thorin: when did you decide to rise from the earth to despoil all living beings?

Arch-demon: well! it was kinda a spur of the moment thing i was sleepin in my underground crib and these guys came in and kinda.... touched me i think they gave me aids or somethin cus i got all sickly and diseased afterwards! but they seemed nice enough and they wanted me to lead them in a heavy metal destruction tour of ferelden!!

Thorin: and hows that been going for you?

Arch-demon: Great our blight tour is now one of the opening acts at ozzfest and bam margera and Courtney love have been helping us out with the ravaging of the land!

Thorin: So you've made it all the way to Denerim

Arch-demon: Yeah we stopped off at loads of smaller cities on the way Ostagar,lothering, south reach,west hills all great places! but nothing beats being in the capitol, Denerim is a great city and it has sooo many flammable buildings ive been burnin stuff all day

Thorin: Yeah but judging from your back you've had an accident on the way up here

Arch-Demon: yeah some french jerk speared me!! broke a wing too but heck he ain't coming back huh huh

Thorin: so what do you think of your chances of winning this years competi.....

(a tall red haired woman in plate armour strides onto the roof)

Fiona: Arch-demon!! i Fiona Cousland Queen of ferelden have come to slay you!!!

Anora: HEY!!! IM QUEEN HERE!!!

Fiona: hold that Thought

(Fiona dives at anora)

Fiona: Im gonna show you where you can shove your crown you blonde haired, common blooded!! (expletive deleted)

Anora: arrrrgggghhhhh my hair!!! get off me you maniac!!

Arch-demon: wow i would like be totally hot for those two if they like had no hair ,were super bloated and had about six more bewbs and tentacles

Thorin: courtney love is standing in the audience you know

Arch-demon:

Thorin: Back to you in the studio

Anora: Daddy help meeeeee!!

Loghain: im not getting involved in this.....im making a tactical withdrwal....

Fiona: allistair help me hold this (expletive deleted) down while i tie her to a rock!!

Aliistair: errrrr.....bloody hell can't believe im saying this....wait up loghain!!!

Thorin: i said back to STUDIO!!!

Arch-demon: this documentary was sponsored by taint-aid the drink that focuses your life by taking a large chunk of it away forever!!

(Vhs Theme music)

[Mahumia]

Rawr... what's with all the hot templars and knights anyway? They did that on purpose, didn't they? Make them all very attractive and not romanceble, so we can do nothing but swoon and drool at them *sob*



Oh well, where did that red haired hotty go? I'm sure he can use some help with the cleaning... *whistles innocently whilst sneaking backstage*

[amethyst_rose2009]

westiex9 wrote...



(a tall red haired woman in plate armour strides onto the roof)

Fiona: Arch-demon!! i Fiona Cousland Queen of ferelden have come to slay you!!!

Anora: HEY!!! IM QUEEN HERE!!!

Fiona: hold that Thought

(Fiona dives at anora)

Fiona: Im gonna show you where you can shove your crown you blonde haired, common blooded!! (expletive deleted)


(Vhs Theme music)

Ok, I'm officially getting my vcr out of storage for this.  Too funny!  Go Fiona Cousland!!!  Kick that ice queen's *expletive....expeletive* a**! 

[Mahumia]

Oh by the way, can I borrow Jowan for my city elf? She refuses to stop sobbing because of her bethroted... He was quite pretty though, for a blonde one (Nelaros if I remember correctly?)

[Tirigon]

Oh, I think it´s time for a rather unusual guest, isn´t it?
So, first the usual legal warning to avoid having to pay for your mental problems:

[smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/policeman.png[/smilie]WARNING! The following interview will involve Sex, Drugs, Rock´n´Roll, NO Broodmothers, violence, blood and gore, Shianni and other sick and perverted things inappropriate for Children below 80, adults above 20, everyone who is not currently drunken, stoned or involved in a gay foursome as well as everyone else . I am not responsible for any injuries that might happen to you while reading this, nor for your cat currently dying in the washing-machine. You should bath it manually, lol.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, jump up and down for our next guest, Drago! You might know him with another name, but you DO know him for sure. He is OUR RELIABLE, FUNNY AND ...FURRY.... MABAAAAAARI WAAAAAAAR DOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!!

*the audience goes mad; Part of it does, anyways. Some are already too drunk, stoned or involved in a gay foursome*

Tirigon (this time accompanied by Shianni): So, Drago. Nice to have you here. Want a lamb bone? Or a lamb post to lick?  (*he grins; Shianni slaps him softly on the back of his head*)

Drago (happy): GRRRRRR GR GR WAUUUUUU!

*Tirigon throws a lamb bone to Drago; He starts chewing on it*

Drago (chewing): Gr, Grrrr, Wau, Miau?

Tirigon: Ehm, yes. Nice job, translating it in Cat. We had a translator employed, but he is currently .... talking.... to Alistair. In, ehm, private. Well, anyways, let´s continue. I hear noone accompanied our savior, the famous warden who killed the archdemon right in his last concert in Fort Drakon, as long as you did?

Drago: Wau, wao, WAUUUUUUUU, WAAAAAUUUUUUU!!!! mia, miao, miauuu, GRRRRR!

*Shianni puts her beautiful, cute, hot..., inviting... °ehm, yes, anyways,  look away, CONCENTRATE ON THE TEXT!!!!° face in her palm and sighs. She is obviously bored*

Shianni: Eh, Tiri-darling, I shall go backstage and ...prepare... for later, all right?

Tirigon (looking at her, therefore wearing his usual empty, love-blind, lewd expression): All right, dear, all right, whatever you want... You still have your metal lingerie, don´t you? Put it on, plz, it´s so hot.... Oh, and if you see him, send our translator here, I´d like to actually understand Drago.....

Drago (angry): Grrrr GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Bark bark bark!! WAU MIAU MIAU MIAUUUUU!!!!

Tirigon: Ehm, yes, thanks for the information, Drago, let´s continue... So you hail from Highever, I understand, from the Cousland castle, to get it right? Just nod. And then you fought heroically in Ostagar, killing hundreds of darkspawn and seducing thousands of women?

Drago (nodding, but slightly annoyed already): Miao, Grrr, bark bark, Wauuuu, grrrr, rrrrrr, miau!!!

Tirigon (to audience): So, ladies and gentlemen, you see, Drago is a true Fereldan!!! A fury in battle, even worse in bed, hot, stunningly beautiful, good at making jokes - don´t laugh, my friends, his jokes are way better than Alistair´s!!!!

*Alistair appears, the translator in his arms, happy from the love, but annoyed by Tirigon. He´s good at annoying people*

Alistair: This f*cking wardog does never crack a joke!!!! And NOONE is better than me in that aspect!!! Nor is he hotter, by the way! All the women he seduced were Mabari!!! Even I could get them!!!! Ehm....

*the audience laughs, Tirigon comments sarcastically:* Selfown. Good Job, Ali.

*Alistair and the translator go away, murmuring angrily. You hear something on the lines of "freaking assclown... cut his balls off.. he´ll get what he earns...*

Tirigon (to dog): Ok, let´s continue....

Drago (interrupts): Now, sh*thead, calm down!! I´m a freaking, pink, panda!!! I can´t speak, FFS!!!!!! All the people laugh about you already... Just STFU and GTFO, man....

Tirigon: What, you are a PANDA?! I always thought I was the panda, loooooool... Well, but you have just spoken, haven´t you? So we CAN continue, right?

Drago: No, man, look! 
*he points at the audience; somehow, they seem to have turned into big, pink frogs... Some are magic mushrooms, too... *

Tirigon (happily): Woooh, soo beautiful! I love you all!!! and I can fly!!!!!
*he looks at the sky. There are flowers, and a cute girl*
Tirigon: WOOOHOO!!!! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds!!!!!!
*he starts singing; terribly wrong, of course. The last remaining spectators commit suicide*

Drago: Ehm, well. At least there is fresh meat. I´m kinda hungry.
*he walks towards the bodies*

Shianni (hurrying on stage): Oh, Tiri, darling, I TOLD you not to take this crap Oghren sold you, you have 20 centuries too less experience in drugs for that stuff, oh, dear.... Maker help....

Tirigon: Come on, let´s fly tonight!!! Luuuucyyyyy!!!!! We come!!!!!

*Shianni knocks him unconscious*

Shianni (to the cameras): O-ok, we, err, have... technical issues atm, as well as for the rest of the, em... entire showtime. Nothing you´ve seen was real, got it? And, em, I understand it´s time for the advertisement now anyways, so, enjoy it! We are off.

*they walk away; noone remains here except for Drago, who seems quite content. Dead spectators are, obviously, tasty*

Modifié par Tirigon, 03 janvier 2010 - 03:40 .

[Kohaku]

Mahumia wrote...

Oh by the way, can I borrow Jowan for my city elf? She refuses to stop sobbing because of her bethroted... He was quite pretty though, for a blonde one (Nelaros if I remember correctly?)

Of course you can! I asked Lily if she wanted to come but she glared at me. Then cursed me and said it was the Maker's doing. So I say he's free game.

@Tirigon - Oghren must have gotten the Archdemon hooked on the funny grass as well. He needs his own interview to explain himself.

Modifié par Kerridan Kaiba, 03 janvier 2010 - 03:49 .

[westiex9]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

westiex9 wrote...



(a tall red haired woman in plate armour strides onto the roof)

Fiona: Arch-demon!! i Fiona Cousland Queen of ferelden have come to slay you!!!

Anora: HEY!!! IM QUEEN HERE!!!

Fiona: hold that Thought

(Fiona dives at anora)

Fiona: Im gonna show you where you can shove your crown you blonde haired, common blooded!! (expletive deleted)


(Vhs Theme music)

Ok, I'm officially getting my vcr out of storage for this.  Too funny!  Go Fiona Cousland!!!  Kick that ice queen's *expletive....expeletive* a**! 

The infamous arch-demon interview aftermath:



thorin:


e really gonna throw Anora off fort FRIGGIN DRAKONS ROOF!! this is a travesty, as if a massacre wansn't bad enough now we have a regicide to deal with!!

Allistair:   i should have said something when zevran offered to teach her rope tying classes, nothing good came of them anyway

Zevran: judging from your squels and the sound of whips i beg to differ 

Allistair: .... Shut,,,Up

Thorin: (on a mobile) look i don't care how busy they are get nemiah or noemi on the phone and tell them we have a potential RATINGS DISASTER HAPPENING UP HERE!!!!

Arch-demon: so errr anyone got a light...im tryin to smoke an elf here...

Ragos: i have one!!!

Arch-demon: who are you? 

Ragos: come on guys you know me im ragos...from the fade... surely someone remembers me?

Arch-demon: a lot of people are still trying to forget that part of the game

Ragos: i hope your happy!!! you just made a rage demon cry!!!

(meanwhile) 

Fiona: wheres morrigan and shianni i need them to help me push this (expletive deleted) off the roof

Anora: (gagged mumblings)

Fiona: oh you ain't getting outta this one, you going skydiving without a parachute

Thorin: (huddled in corner rocking disturbed back and forth) its okay our ratings are fine, its okay our ratings are fine, its okay, our ratings are fine.


Edit: tiragon your post was hilarious, id say more but im currently stoned, drunk and involved in a gay foursome

Modifié par westiex9, 03 janvier 2010 - 03:52 .

[mrofni]

Tirigon wrote...

Oh, I think it´s time for a rather unusual guest, isn´t it?
So, first the usual legal warning to avoid having to pay for your mental problems:

[smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/policeman.png[/smilie]WARNING! The following interview will involve Sex, Drugs, Rock´n´Roll, NO Broodmothers, violence, blood and gore, Shianni and other sick and perverted things inappropriate for Children below 80, adults above 20, everyone who is not currently drunken, stoned or involved in a gay foursome as well as everyone else . I am not responsible for any injuries that might happen to you while reading this, nor for your cat currently dying in the washing-machine. You should bath it manually, lol.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, jump up and down for our next guest, Drago! You might know him with another name, but you DO know him for sure. He is OUR RELIABLE, FUNNY AND ...FURRY.... MABAAAAAARI WAAAAAAAR DOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!!

*the audience goes mad; Part of it does, anyways. Some are already too drunk, stoned or involved in a gay foursome*

Tirigon (this time accompanied by Shianni): So, Drago. Nice to have you here. Want a lamb bone? Or a lamb post to lick?  (*he grins; Shianni slaps him softly on the back of his head*)

Drago (happy): GRRRRRR GR GR WAUUUUUU!

*Tirigon throws a lamb bone to Drago; He starts chewing on it*

Drago (chewing): Gr, Grrrr, Wau, Miau?

Tirigon: Ehm, yes. Nice job, translating it in Cat. We had a translator employed, but he is currently .... talking.... to Alistair. In, ehm, private. Well, anyways, let´s continue. I hear noone accompanied our savior, the famous warden who killed the archdemon right in his last concert in Fort Drakon, as long as you did?

Drago: Wau, wao, WAUUUUUUUU, WAAAAAUUUUUUU!!!! mia, miao, miauuu, GRRRRR!

*Shianni puts her beautiful, cute, hot..., inviting... °ehm, yes, anyways,  look away, CONCENTRATE ON THE TEXT!!!!° face in her palm and sighs. She is obviously bored*

Shianni: Eh, Tiri-darling, I shall go backstage and ...prepare... for later, all right?

Tirigon (looking at her, therefore wearing his usual empty, love-blind, lewd expression): All right, dear, all right, whatever you want... You still have your metal lingerie, don´t you? Put it on, plz, it´s so hot.... Oh, and if you see him, send our translator here, I´d like to actually understand Drago.....

Drago (angry): Grrrr GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Bark bark bark!! WAU MIAU MIAU MIAUUUUU!!!!

Tirigon: Ehm, yes, thanks for the information, Drago, let´s continue... So you hail from Highever, I understand, from the Cousland castle, to get it right? Just nod. And then you fought heroically in Ostagar, killing hundreds of darkspawn and seducing thousands of women?

Drago (nodding, but slightly annoyed already): Miao, Grrr, bark bark, Wauuuu, grrrr, rrrrrr, miau!!!

Tirigon (to audience): So, ladies and gentlemen, you see, Drago is a true Fereldan!!! A fury in battle, even worse in bed, hot, stunningly beautiful, good at making jokes - don´t laugh, my friends, his jokes are way better than Alistair´s!!!!

*Alistair appears, the translator in his arms, happy from the love, but annoyed by Tirigon. He´s good at annoying people*

Alistair: This f*cking wardog does never crack a joke!!!! And NOONE is better than me in that aspect!!! Nor is he hotter, by the way! All the women he seduced were Mabari!!! Even I could get them!!!! Ehm....

*the audience laughs, Tirigon comments sarcastically:* Selfown. Good Job, Ali.

*Alistair and the translator go away, murmuring angrily. You hear something on the lines of "freaking assclown... cut his balls off.. he´ll get what he earns...*

Tirigon (to dog): Ok, let´s continue....

Drago (interrupts): Now, sh*thead, calm down!! I´m a freaking, pink, panda!!! I can´t speak, FFS!!!!!! All the people laugh about you already... Just STFU and GTFO, man....

Tirigon: What, you are a PANDA?! I always thought I was the panda, loooooool... Well, but you have just spoken, haven´t you? So we CAN continue, right?

Drago: No, man, look! 
*he points at the audience; somehow, they seem to have turned into big, pink frogs... Some are magic mushrooms, too... *

Tirigon (happily): Woooh, soo beautiful! I love you all!!! and I can fly!!!!!
*he looks at the sky. There are flowers, and a cute girl*
Tirigon: WOOOHOO!!!! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds!!!!!!
*he starts singing; terribly wrong, of course. The last remaining spectators commit suicide*

Drago: Ehm, well. At least there is fresh meat. I´m kinda hungry.
*he walks towards the bodies*

Shianni (hurrying on stage): Oh, Tiri, darling, I TOLD you not to take this crap Oghren sold you, you have 20 centuries too less experience in drugs for that stuff, oh, dear.... Maker help....

Tirigon: Come on, let´s fly tonight!!! Luuuucyyyyy!!!!! We come!!!!!

*Shianni knocks him unconscious*

Shianni (to the cameras): O-ok, we, err, have... technical issues atm, as well as for the rest of the, em... entire showtime. Nothing you´ve seen was real, got it? And, em, I understand it´s time for the advertisement now anyways, so, enjoy it! We are off.

*they walk away; noone remains here except for Drago, who seems quite content. Dead spectators are, obviously, tasty*

So... I should just assume this was all a shroom trip then? Hillarious, but just a trip.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

Oh, I think it´s time for a rather unusual guest, isn´t it?
So, first the usual legal warning to avoid having to pay for your mental problems:

../../../images/forum/emoticons/policeman.pngWARNING! The following interview will involve Sex, Drugs, Rock´n´Roll, NO Broodmothers, violence, blood and gore, Shianni and other sick and perverted things inappropriate for Children below 80, adults above 20, everyone who is not currently drunken, stoned or involved in a gay foursome as well as everyone else . I am not responsible for any injuries that might happen to you while reading this, nor for your cat currently dying in the washing-machine. You should bath it manually, lol.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, jump up and down for our next guest, Drago! You might know him with another name, but you DO know him for sure. He is [color=rgb(255,0,0)">OUR ]RELIABLE, FUNNY AND ...FURRY.... MABAAAAAARI WAAAAAAAR DOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!![/color]

*the audience goes mad; Part of it does, anyways. Some are already too drunk, stoned or involved in a gay foursome*

Tirigon (this time accompanied by Shianni): So, Drago. Nice to have you here. Want a lamb bone? Or a lamb post to lick?  (*he grins; Shianni slaps him softly on the back of his head*)

Drago (happy): GRRRRRR GR GR WAUUUUUU!

*Tirigon throws a lamb bone to Drago; He starts chewing on it*

Drago (chewing): Gr, Grrrr, Wau, Miau?

Tirigon: Ehm, yes. Nice job, translating it in Cat. We had a translator employed, but he is currently .... talking.... to Alistair. In, ehm, private. Well, anyways, let´s continue. I hear noone accompanied our savior, the famous warden who killed the archdemon right in his last concert in Fort Drakon, as long as you did?

Drago: Wau, wao, WAUUUUUUUU, WAAAAAUUUUUUU!!!! mia, miao, miauuu, GRRRRR!

*Shianni puts her beautiful, cute, hot..., inviting... °ehm, yes, anyways,  look away, CONCENTRATE ON THE TEXT!!!!° face in her palm and sighs. She is obviously bored*

Shianni: Eh, Tiri-darling, I shall go backstage and ...prepare... for later, all right?

Tirigon (looking at her, therefore wearing his usual empty, love-blind, lewd expression): All right, dear, all right, whatever you want... You still have your metal lingerie, don´t you? Put it on, plz, it´s so hot.... Oh, and if you see him, send our translator here, I´d like to actually understand Drago.....

Drago (angry): Grrrr GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Bark bark bark!! WAU MIAU MIAU MIAUUUUU!!!!

Tirigon: Ehm, yes, thanks for the information, Drago, let´s continue... So you hail from Highever, I understand, from the Cousland castle, to get it right? Just nod. And then you fought heroically in Ostagar, killing hundreds of darkspawn and seducing thousands of women?

Drago (nodding, but slightly annoyed already): Miao, Grrr, bark bark, Wauuuu, grrrr, rrrrrr, miau!!!

Tirigon (to audience): So, ladies and gentlemen, you see, Drago is a true Fereldan!!! A fury in battle, even worse in bed, hot, stunningly beautiful, good at making jokes - don´t laugh, my friends, his jokes are way better than Alistair´s!!!!

*Alistair appears, the translator in his arms, happy from the love, but annoyed by Tirigon. He´s good at annoying people*

Alistair: This f*cking wardog does never crack a joke!!!! And NOONE is better than me in that aspect!!! Nor is he hotter, by the way! All the women he seduced were Mabari!!! Even I could get them!!!! Ehm....

*the audience laughs, Tirigon comments sarcastically:* Selfown. Good Job, Ali.

*Alistair and the translator go away, murmuring angrily. You hear something on the lines of "freaking assclown... cut his balls off.. he´ll get what he earns...*

Tirigon (to dog): Ok, let´s continue....

Drago (interrupts): Now, sh*thead, calm down!! I´m a freaking, pink, panda!!! I can´t speak, FFS!!!!!! All the people laugh about you already... Just STFU and GTFO, man....

Tirigon: What, you are a PANDA?! I always thought I was the panda, loooooool... Well, but you have just spoken, haven´t you? So we CAN continue, right?

Drago: No, man, look! 
*he points at the audience; somehow, they seem to have turned into big, pink frogs... Some are magic mushrooms, too... *

Tirigon (happily): Woooh, soo beautiful! I love you all!!! and I can fly!!!!!
*he looks at the sky. There are flowers, and a cute girl*
Tirigon: WOOOHOO!!!! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds!!!!!!
*he starts singing; terribly wrong, of course. The last remaining spectators commit suicide*

Drago: Ehm, well. At least there is fresh meat. I´m kinda hungry.
*he walks towards the bodies*

Shianni (hurrying on stage): Oh, Tiri, darling, I TOLD you not to take this crap Oghren sold you, you have 20 centuries too less experience in drugs for that stuff, oh, dear.... Maker help....

Tirigon: Come on, let´s fly tonight!!! Luuuucyyyyy!!!!! We come!!!!!

*Shianni knocks him unconscious*

Shianni (to the cameras): O-ok, we, err, have... technical issues atm, as well as for the rest of the, em... entire showtime. Nothing you´ve seen was real, got it? And, em, I understand it´s time for the advertisement now anyways, so, enjoy it! We are off.

*they walk away; noone remains here except for Drago, who seems quite content. Dead spectators are, obviously, tasty*

Okaaayyyy............. I see you take the same allergy medicine as I do.  I bet you don't know the day of the week either.

And yes I agree, we really do need Mabari War Pandas!!!! DLC maybe, please with sugar on top.........

[amethyst_rose2009]

westiex9 wrote...


Allistair:   i should have said something when zevran offered to teach her rope tying classes, nothing good came of them anyway

Zevran: judging from your squels and the sound of whips i beg to differ 

Allistair: .... Shut,,,Up

 Ooooh, my pc with whips and rope tying up Ali.......... *swoon* *drool*

[amethyst_rose2009]

Ok, who to do next?  Hey, Kerridan who are you writing about next?  I'm getting so much inspiration here, I just have to write something.  It's a tad awkward when two of us write about the same person at the same time though (see Camman posts).  lol Tirigon

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 03 janvier 2010 - 04:18 .

[Kohaku]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Ok, who to do next?  Hey, Kerridan who are you writing about next?  I'm getting so much inspiration here, I just have to write something.  It's a tad awkward when two of us write about the same person at the same time though (see Camman posts).  lol Tirigon

I'm not sure. I have a small portion of Alistair written. I say anything you want to write is fine. I'm just glad that everyone is participating. That makes me really happy actually. 

[Tirigon]

I´ll invite Wade next, just fyi.

And I´m always up to be interviewed myself, that would be a funny change ;-)

[Kohaku]

We may have to do that. After all, aren't we the true Mister and Miss Ferelden's?

[amethyst_rose2009]

And now after a brief commercial break to clean panda slobber off the camera..............we are back.  And now what everyone's been waiting for........you can't get better than this, girls..........the Bann of Studliness himself, Teagan!!!!!

*All the other other contestants storm the stage and forcibly remove the dancing Teagan and throw him backstage*

me (human female noble): Okaaayyyy............feeling a little Teagan envy guys?

*The other contestants return to their seats leaving Teagan crying and screaming "But why can't I be a contestant!" in the background*

Alistair: No, I'm not jealous of some little twit running around in fancy Orlesian clothes. *shows off his masculine shiny metal armor*

me: Ooooh, shiny!!!!

Cailan: Kings do NOT get jealous!  I.........I just didn't want for Alistair to feel any more inadequate than he already is.

Alistair: Hey!!!! *makes adorable pouty face and glares at Cailan*

Zevran: I thought we were going to tie Teagan up.  I brought rope and everything.  *sad disappointed face* Could have been fun............

Alistair and Cailan:

me: *turns to Zev and whispers* Keep that rope handy for later, hmm? *winks*

Alistair: Hey!!!!! *makes not so adorable angry face*

me: *turns to Alistair* You're invited too, you know.  *winks and giggles*

Alistair:  *gulp*

me: Now where was I?  Alright, since Teagan was removed by a jealous mob *glares angrily at the other contestants* I suppose we will go with the next contestant on the list.   And what's this?  It says 'surprise guest".  Umm, okay then let's give a round of applause for our surprise guest.   Oooh, I hope he's cute.......

Alistair: *glares at pc and sighs*

*Darrien steps from behind the curtain and sits next to the pc*

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticeably disappointed*  Oh...........it's you.  *puts on fake unconvincing smile*  Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

Darrien: You left me.........you just left me to bleed to death on your bedroom floor!!!! In my skivvies!!!! *tears starting to form in eyes*

Alistair: Oooh, that's cold.

Darrien: I thought you loved me.  I lost my virginity to you and everything. *sad puppy dog look*

me: *brow sweating nervously*  Ummm........I.........Well this is awkward, isn't it?  *looks to side of stage* Could someone bring me some water? Heh, my throat's a little dry. 

Zevran: Oooh, she is a cold little minx, isn't she?  Such a turn on, she is.

Alistair: *lifts an eyebrow and looks at Zev*

Zev: *winks at Alistair*

Alistair:  *gulp*

me:  *takes a sip of water for parched throat*  I........I had no idea you were still alive.  I mean, dang, Howe's guards did a pretty thorough job on you, ran the sword right through you.  I saw it.  Got blood all over my new carpet!  I mean I thought you were dead for sure.  You certainly looked dead. *sweats nervously*

Darrien: Did you even check to see if I had a pulse?

me: Ummm, let me think back.......uh, let's see......Dog barking, Mum runs down the hall, guards try to kill us, Duncan blackmails my dying father into giving me over to the gray wardens (Argggh, Duncan!!!)......no, actually I don't think I ever got around to that. Sorry. *smiles apologetically*

Darrien: Sorry?!! That's all you have to say is "sorry"?  I very nearly died and nobody thought I was worthy enough to rescue apparently.

me: *confused look* Which leads me to ask, exactly how did you survive? 

Darrien:  Well..........if.........if you must know........Ser Gilmore came to my rescue.  He lifted me into his big strong arms and carried me to safety and nursed me back to health. *smiles slyly at Ser Gilmore* Just look at those adorable eyes and those rippling muscles and.........

me:

Alistair:

Zevran: Do go on.........I find this quite intriguing........I have rope by the way. *winks at Darrien*

me: Well, um.........*embarassed and speechless*..................I....I think we need to take a commercial break now from our fine Fereldon sponsers.  *mumbles angrily*  How come this always happens during my interviews???? *makes adorable pouty face*

Duncan: Did someone mention rope? *raises eyebrow and winks at Alistair*

Alistair:  *gulp*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 03 janvier 2010 - 08:42 .

[Kohaku]

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*



That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

[Tirigon]

Hehe, nice. I couldn´t find anything about him because I dislike humans, but that was really cute.... Gilmore and Darrien are a nice couple anyways..



BTW, does anyone know good bards? We need music in this show. But Leliana dumped me, she didnt like me making out with Shianni it seems....

[Kohaku]

Um. There were some in Lothering but I think they bit the dust. Oh! Oh! There were some karaoke dwarfs in Orizamar!