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[amethyst_rose2009]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

Darn, I typed too fast and misspelled like everything.  *runs away to make quick edit*   Alright, now it's better (I think).  It's what happens when you're trying to type with a 4-year-old climbing all over you.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

BTW, does anyone know good bards? We need music in this show. But Leliana dumped me, she didnt like me making out with Shianni it seems....

We could get Zev to recite us some naughty poetry.

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

Darn, I typed too fast and misspelled like everything.  *runs away to make quick edit*   Alright, now it's better (I think).  It's what happens when you're trying to type with a 4-year-old climbing all over you.

You shouldn´t let children see metal lingerie that early in their life....

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

BTW, does anyone know good bards? We need music in this show. But Leliana dumped me, she didnt like me making out with Shianni it seems....

We could get Zev to recite us some naughty poetry.

Good idea!!!!!!! Hehe, I remember an english poem that would perfectly fit him..... Is there copyright on things written by someone who died in the 18th Century?

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

Darn, I typed too fast and misspelled like everything.  *runs away to make quick edit*   Alright, now it's better (I think).  It's what happens when you're trying to type with a 4-year-old climbing all over you.

You shouldn´t let children see metal lingerie that early in their life....

 ROFL.  Well, not to burst your bubble but I don't usually type at my computer while wearing lingerie........

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 03 janvier 2010 - 06:34 .

[Kohaku]

Oh now. Naughty poems. Did I tell you all I missed you?

[Mahumia]

Tirigon wrote...

BTW, does anyone know good bards? We need music in this show. But Leliana dumped me, she didnt like me making out with Shianni it seems....

*Pushes some drunk elves forward* Oh come on, don't be shy. You were singing quite happily back in the Alienage... No, I'm not asking for 'personal entertainment', just sing! *grumbles under her breath whilst searching for Zevhran* Oi, Zev, found you some background singers for your poetry... no, no need to tie them up, I'm sure they perform better without...ehm... I mean... get rid of that grin! *blushes and searches for some strong arms to get comforted* 

[amethyst_rose2009]

Mahumia wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

BTW, does anyone know good bards? We need music in this show. But Leliana dumped me, she didnt like me making out with Shianni it seems....

*Pushes some drunk elves forward* Oh come on, don't be shy. You were singing quite happily back in the Alienage... No, I'm not asking for 'personal entertainment', just sing! *grumbles under her breath whilst searching for Zevhran* Oi, Zev, found you some background singers for your poetry... no, no need to tie them up, I'm sure they perform better without...ehm... I mean... get rid of that grin! *blushes and searches for some strong arms to get comforted* 

LOL.  I had forgotten about those drunken elves.  Now I can't decide who was funnier - the drunken elves or the drunken karaoke dwarves.

[Mahumia]

The dwarves were fun too imo, but I thought the elves were better ^^

[Kohaku]

Me too. They are public drunks where as the dwarfs were in a tavern.

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

Darn, I typed too fast and misspelled like everything.  *runs away to make quick edit*   Alright, now it's better (I think).  It's what happens when you're trying to type with a 4-year-old climbing all over you.

You shouldn´t let children see metal lingerie that early in their life....

 ROFL.  Well, not to burst your bubble but I don't usually type at my computer while wearing lingerie........

You know, I dreamed all night of blondes wearing metal lingerie while playing DAO..........

[Tirigon]

Mahumia wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

BTW, does anyone know good bards? We need music in this show. But Leliana dumped me, she didnt like me making out with Shianni it seems....

*Pushes some drunk elves forward* Oh come on, don't be shy. You were singing quite happily back in the Alienage... No, I'm not asking for 'personal entertainment', just sing! *grumbles under her breath whilst searching for Zevhran* Oi, Zev, found you some background singers for your poetry... no, no need to tie them up, I'm sure they perform better without...ehm... I mean... get rid of that grin! *blushes and searches for some strong arms to get comforted* 

Good idea! I´ll invite them.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

Darn, I typed too fast and misspelled like everything.  *runs away to make quick edit*   Alright, now it's better (I think).  It's what happens when you're trying to type with a 4-year-old climbing all over you.

You shouldn´t let children see metal lingerie that early in their life....

 ROFL.  Well, not to burst your bubble but I don't usually type at my computer while wearing lingerie........

You know, I dreamed all night of blondes wearing metal lingerie while playing DAO..........

 

 Too funny!

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

me: *surpised, embarassed, and noticibly disappointed* Oh...........it's you. *puts on fake unconvincing smile* Heh, I thought you were dead. *nervous laugh*

That was too funny. My mother looked at me like I was crazy with how hard I was laughing.

Darn, I typed too fast and misspelled like everything.  *runs away to make quick edit*   Alright, now it's better (I think).  It's what happens when you're trying to type with a 4-year-old climbing all over you.

You shouldn´t let children see metal lingerie that early in their life....

 ROFL.  Well, not to burst your bubble but I don't usually type at my computer while wearing lingerie........

You know, I dreamed all night of blondes wearing metal lingerie while playing DAO..........

 

 Too funny!

You cant even IMAGINE how much fun it was.......

[Tirigon]

So, Ladies and Gentlemen!!! It´s the time for more scary, kickass stuff right now, and therefore I have send my slaves servants out to Denerim to invite an awesome man, beloved by every women, though they might not know it.....

But first the legal stuff of course:


Warning: The following show is created by an evil, lewd SpongeBob-Fan and involves lots of illegal, amoral or otherwise despiceable content, such as: Shianni, sex, drugs, Rock´n´Roll, dwarfs, farts, NO broodmothers, blood and gore, violence and - this time more than ever - metal lingerie. It should not be seen by children, pregnant women, old or ill people and - to be honest - everyone else. If you suffer anything because of ignoring this warning, you might call 911 (in the USA) or 110 (in Germany)  and say "b*tch" to the nice woman answering your call. You will be taken in care then....



So, Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from the great City Denerim (just as my beautiful assistant Shianni) has HE come to these halls, let me greet the most awesome dwarf eva, the inventor of metal lingerie...
Applause for WADE!!!  

*Wade walks in, accompanied by a bunch of fur-clad wookies singing rapsongs. You can´t really understand every word, but the topic seems to be Wade´s hammer, which is obviously quite great*

Wade (waving to the audience): Oh, hello ladies, glad to see you!!! So I hear you all are here because you like my work - or should I say you like my hammer maybe?!

Tirigon (whispring to Shianni): What an assclown. He should greet me first, who cares for the audience?
*Shianni nods*

Tirigon (loud): Hello, Wade, my friend!! I feel so honored that you could come. I mean, I hear you are quite busy in your shop, creating dragonscale armor....

Wade: Yea, I had to have my wookies knock my partner unconscious TWICE to make me free... It´s really terrible, nowadays Dragonslaying is quite a fashion... you know, 20 years ago, you could work with dragonbones once in a lifetime, except if Manowar were in da hood. You would get a dragon a day then, but the last concert was before I was even born...

Tirigon (in baaaad mood; the last drug-experience gave him quite a hangover): So, dwarf, want to tell us how Dragonslaying became popular?

Wade (excited): yes, but first....

*he yells at his wookies:* Shut up now, you furry bastards!! We all know my dick is huge, no need to repeat it, I´ll show it soon enough!!!!
*they whine, but eventually lay down and are quiet*

Wade continues: So, right, Dragonslaying... You know, it all started with Oblivion. When every freaking bandit wore high-end armor inferior only to my personal clothing, good armors were nothing special anymore.... And then, these so-called "Modders". They ruined everything with their godmode-stuff.... Back in the old days, you needed a artifact equipment and a party of 20 nerds to even stand a cance.... Now you just get a f*cking amulet for free and beat a dragon all alone, and naked.... Then there is this thing with equal rights.... You know, usually there should be only a few dragons.. But nowadays they respawn every few hours.... so everyone gets the chance to kill them, and OF COURSE everyone brings their scales to me.... I am not given a respawn, thank you very much...

Tirigon: And quite good is that, lol. Imagine you would respawn every time one leaves your shop.... We had a legion of Wades by now...

Wade: I´d like that. I could employ myself, instead of stupid wookies, I could finally make every women happy.... Darn, that would be paradise!!! Well, anyways, I hear the High Dragon takes part in this awesome "Miss Ferelden" thingy... Hopefully that will stop people from killing her all the time...

Tirigon (annoyed): Yea, sure, it will. You know, you should talk less, it´s me who is important, you are only an exc...

Wade (interrupts): I wanted to talk about the only good thing connected with the dragonslaying. I have secretly worked on a special collection of special stuff for special women.... And Alistair of course...
I PROUDLY PRESENT: WADE´S DRAGONSCALE LINGERIE!!!! 
You know, originally I thought we could show you some pictures, but certain women don´t want other people, especially you, to see them wearing hot stuff....
Anyways, you can believe me that it´s great. And looks so hot I have to fear censorship. AND it will make you immune to fire damage, so, Ladies, if you are with a guy as hot as me, you should buy it, and finally stop getting burned! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
*he laughs about his own joke*

Tirigon (to Shianni): We could as well go in your room, you know. He talks all the time... He doesn´t get that the people are here for ME, not for him.. Stupid assclown...
Shianni (with dreamy voice): Isn´t he AMAZING?! He showed me his hammer earlier this day, and he is so skilled with it.... And this new dragonscale lingerie, it´s INCREDIBLE..... If I wasn´t with you, I´d marry him right away.....

*Tirigon vomits*

Shianni: Oh, Tiri-darling, is something wrong?
Tirigon (jealous, clearly lying): No, nothing at all... Just too much of Oghrens beer at lunch... Ehm, I.. I guess I´ll lay down a bit, I´m so tired... Want to come with me?
Shianni: Oh, dear, every time, you know, but, you should really take a rest now, and you can´t do this when I wear my new lingerie... I´ll stay here and talk to our friend Wade a little, ok?
Tirigon (nearly exploding with anger): Do it. I don´t need you, you know? I´m just sick, might well die and whatnot, but if you have to admire Wade, that´s all right with me...

*Wade has talked about dragonscale lingerie all the time without listening, now he embraces a nice girl from the audience and kisses her*
*Tirigon disappears  from stage, Alistair appears*
Alistair: Hehe, he got owned, right? Wade, I love you, you are my hero!!!!
*Wade doesn´t listen; he is busy with his girl*
*Shianni admires Wade*

Alistair (joined by Cullen): Oh, ladies, don´t you LOVE this? Tirigon is totally down, even Shianni isn´t interested in him anymore, and you get to watch us now!!!!
*they start undressing*

Oghren (at the door): Oh Stone... This will become quite ugly really soon... I shall go polish my sword....
 *he disappears*

other guards: F*ck it...

*the audience goes nuts; the women scream while Alistair and Cullen strip, the men are busy hiding their anger, and their shame. They see who got the biggest hammer*


Wade (done with his girl): Oh, ladies, calm down, i´m still dressed... But I can change that any time you want, you know... Just say the word!!! And ignore them!
*he knocks Alistair and Cullen down*
He continues:  So, what do you want to talk about now? I´m not yet done telling how great I am.... Ask me something!!
Shianni: How did you learn to work with a hammer like that?

Wade (happy): Oh that´s my favourite story!!!! But it´s loooong. I shall start right at the beginning. You know, it all started when the first dwarfs came out of the stone....
*he starts telling about the dwarfish version of creation*

*Tirigon comes back, about 5 hours later; Wade is still talking;  most spectators have fallen asleep. Except for those who watch Alistair and Cullen, who continue their striptease*

Tirigon: Is he not yet done?
Shianni (completely misunderstanding him): Oh, he has not even started yet.... He still wears all his clothes, and I´m already sweating... Can you fetch me a drink, darling?

*Tirigon looks as if he´d vomit again*

Tirigon (to camera): Ok ladies and gentlemen, this was my interview with Wade. It was also the most terrible experience I´ve ever had, and while Wade tells us more about himself, we shall start the advertisement. I hope to see you again, my friends!!!

The screen fades black, the advertisement starts. It´s for WADE´S DRAGONSCALE LINGERIE!!!

In the off, you hear Tirigon´s voice: Someone fetch me an ogre. I really need to kill something now. And noone is ever to mention dragonscale lingerie again. NEVER. Not even if the maker himself demands it. Not even for a girl. Never. Spelled N-E-V-E-R. Got it?

Modifié par Tirigon, 03 janvier 2010 - 09:11 .

[Mahumia]

Hold on... I thought Wade was an obvious gay human, or am I mistaking him for someone else now?

[Tirigon]

Mahumia wrote...

Hold on... I thought Wade was an obvious gay human, or am I mistaking him for someone else now?

Wade is the dwarf who makes Dragonscale items for you. And dragonscale lingerie, since recently.

[coldblossom]

Tirigon wrote...

*the audience goes nuts; the women scream while Alistair and Cullen strip

I just lost my train of thought...and there is no way I'm ever getting it back....

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

Mahumia wrote...

Hold on... I thought Wade was an obvious gay human, or am I mistaking him for someone else now?

Wade is the dwarf who makes Dragonscale items for you. And dragonscale lingerie, since recently.

I just want you to know that my face hurts from laughing so hard. It took several minutes just for me to recover enough to type.   And I agree with with Mahumia, I thought he was gay too.  He and his partner acted like an old married couple every time my female pc would go in there to get dragonscale lingerie........um I mean armor. 

Wait, did I just read Alistair and Cullen were doing a striptease!!!  *jaw drops* *falls to the floor drooling*

Oooh, naked templars............ *stares off dreamily*  

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 03 janvier 2010 - 09:42 .

[Herr Uhl]

Tirigon wrote...

Mahumia wrote...

Hold on... I thought Wade was an obvious gay human, or am I mistaking him for someone else now?

Wade is the dwarf who makes Dragonscale items for you. And dragonscale lingerie, since recently.

Don't give away another great specimen of facial hair to the dwarves, you fiend!

[Mahumia]

http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Wade

I really thought he was a human anyway :/ Oh well, nm, I'd say he would be happier if he was a tailor XD

Edit: *Totally forgets about Wade and his lingery and swoons and drools at Alistairs and Cullens striptease*

Modifié par Mahumia, 03 janvier 2010 - 09:41 .

[Tirigon]

I´m glad I have made quite an impression, I suffered a lot during this show.

Eh, Amethyst_rose, do i get a certain picture now? You were even mentioned by Wade after all.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

I´m glad I have made quite an impression, I suffered a lot during this show.
Eh, Amethyst_rose, do i get a certain picture now? You were even mentioned by Wade after all.

*Still staring off dreamily thinking of Alistair's and Cullen's striptease* *drool*


Hmm, Sorry, did someone say something? 

*Goes back to drooling over Alistair and Cullen*

[amethyst_rose2009]

I want to write something else.  I really do, but Tiridon's got me laughing so hard with his post, I can't even think straight.  I mean who could possibly follow that up?  Maybe the prisoner at Ostagar.......no, ewwww.  Although the interview would be funny, ain't nobody thinks he's sexy.  I'll keep thinking.....if Tirigon doesn't crack me up again.

[Sialater]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon wrote...

Mahumia wrote...

Hold on... I thought Wade was an obvious gay human, or am I mistaking him for someone else now?

Wade is the dwarf who makes Dragonscale items for you. And dragonscale lingerie, since recently.

I just want you to know that my face hurts from laughing so hard. It took several minutes just for me to recover enough to type.   And I agree with with Mahumia, I thought he was gay too.  He and his partner acted like an old married couple every time my female pc would go in there to get dragonscale lingerie........um I mean armor. 

Wait, did I just read Alistair and Cullen were doing a striptease!!!  *jaw drops* *falls to the floor drooling*

Oooh, naked templars............ *stares off dreamily*  

I take time off for Kaiden and Mass Effect and come back to stripping Templars..... !  :innocent: