Alright, after a long break and getting over the embarassment of that last interview (arrgh Darrien), we're back and before we introduce our next contestant, I think Teagan has a few words he would like to share with the audience.....
*Alistair, Cailan, Oghren, and Cullen start heading for the stage*
Zevran: Should I bring rope this time? *smiles excitedly*
me (human noble pc): No, no, gentlemen. Please return to your seats. Teagan promised he would only take up a moment of our time. *whispers* Look guys, he was bawling his eyes out backstage. I couldn't take it anymore. It was like watching a panda cry. Actually, the panda did cry after Teagan refused to shut up. He promised he would stop crying if we gave him just a few minutes on stage.
*Alistair, Cailan, Oghren, and Cullen return to their seat reluctantly, but still glare at Teagan*
Zevran: Sigh. *looks disappointed* Honestly, you people just don't know what you're missing!
Teagan: *Soft romantic music begins to play in the background....... Teagan struts onto the stage with a flirty smile and half-unbuttoned shirt exposing a very hairy chest, wavy red hairs swirling playfully like vines across his muscular chest*
Sia: *drool* *swoons*
Teagan: No chest-waxing for me ladies!!! Check out all this manly hair. Duncan's beard has nothin' on all this manliness.
*The ladies in the audience scream Teagan's name in excitement*
Teagan: *lifts a large basket full of long-stemmed roses from the stage and throws roses at his adoring fans*
Sia: *catches a rose as it falls gently toward her waiting hands* *swoons*
Zevran: *wrestles a rose from Anora, leaving her weeping on the floor*
Alistair: *looks to see if anyone is staring at him and quickly catches a rose, smiles, and hides the rose before anyone notices*
Panda: *catches a rose and eats it*
Teagan: Oh fair Fereldon ladies, my adoring fans, I just wanted to show you how I appeciate your love so very much......A rose is but the least I can give to you. *blows kiss and slowly exits stage, waving and smiling slyly*
Cailan: *makes pouty face and looks annoyed* You would think that Teagan's the friggin expletive expletive king of Fereldon! (slumps down is his seat angrily)
me: *holding my rose close to my heart and smiling* Ahhh, girls isn't Teagan so incredibly awesome! I mean really do we even need a contest here to know Teagan is just the hottest guy in all of Thedas!!!
Alistair: *sad puppy dog eyes* Hey!!!!
*Ladies chant Teagan's name repeatedly*
Cailan: *sighs and rolls eyes* Maker, can we just get on with the next guest already!
me: *giggles and smells rose* Ahhhhh...........Oh, yes of course, your majesty, on to our next guest.......Let's see who else we have on our list.......Oh,
really? Hmmm. *face turns red with anger* Yeah, why don't you bring our next guest out here. I have a few words I would like to say to him. *crosses arms angrily and taps foot*
*Fergus walks onto the stage looking handsome and gallant, smiling slyly at the ladies*
Fergus: I'm a bachelor, you know ladies........Well, I am now anyway. *flashes charming smile and hands out his phone number to his adoring fans*
me: *still crossing arms and glaring angrily at Fergus* Fergus!!!! How could you? Your sweet wife hasn't been dead for 2 months yet and here you are giving out your phone number to other girls! And by the way, don't think I've forgotten what you said to your son, my sweet nephew!!!! *icy glare*
Fergus: Sis, why are you so upset? Are you not glad to see that you big brother is alive and well. *holds out arms to hug his sister*
me: *icy angry glare* *keeps arms folded - no hug for Fergus* You better tell me right now what you knew and when you knew it, cause so help me Fergus if you knew anything, I'll have my boyfriend over there gut you like a pig!
Alistair: *smells his rose he got from Teagan, completely oblivious that everyone is staring at him*
me: *angry sigh* Uggggh!!!
Fergus: So much anger, Sis. You really should relax more. Does your boyfriend, rose-boy over there, not ummm.......satisify your needs. That goes a looooong way to relieving stress you know.
me:
Wha?????? You're my brother. That's none of your business!
Fergus: That answers my question then. *smiles smugly*
Alistair: What? Did I miss something? Why is everyone staring at me and laughing. *quickly hides his rose*
me: *turning bright red* Uggggh!!!!
Fergus: Anyway, so Dad told me about what happened in Highever and I'm relieved that you made it out alright.
me: Oh, are you really???? Why do I find that so hard to believe? Where were
you anyway?
Fergus: Fighting darkspawn, don't you remember?
me: Hmmph, convenient excuse. *rolls eyes*
Fergus: Look, I'm telling the truth. Why don't you beleve me? *sighs* Look, um Sis, Dad told me about your......um fascination with him. You know, that's a bit unhealthy. Maybe that's where all this anger stems from.
me: M.....my ......fascination......*blushes* Why I have no idea what you're talking about.
Alistair: Yeah, it is kind of creepy.
me: *glares at Alistair*
Fergus: Anyway, Sis, there's a group of fine-looking Orlesian ladies over there I think I need to go speak to.
me: Your wife was Orlesian! *glares angrily at Fergus*
Fergus: And Maker rest her nagging soul! Alright ladies, who wants some young arl lovin'?
me: Word of warning, ladies. If he mentions anything about a sword, don't trust him.
Fergus: Oh, they shouldn't trust me *smiles slyly* and they'll see a sword up real close soon enough, I promise..... *winks*
me:
*feels urge to vomit*
Alistair: *smells Teagan's rose and smiles dreamily*
Zev: Hmmm, I think I'll go see if Fergus requires any.........assistance....... and rope *smiles slyly*
Oghren: *loud belch that can be heard throughout the auditorium* Hmmm, ............wait up there, Zevran.
Cailan: *rolls eyes* Can someone please tell me why I am here????? I have so many other things I could be doing right now. Looking in the mirror at my long golden locks, brushing my long golden locks,
touching my long golden locks.......
Anora: *rolls eyes and glares at Cailan* You see why I never invite him to my bed!!! I'm more of a man than Cailan is!
Oghren: *stops cold in his tracks and looks at Anora* Well, heh, if you need a real man Anora...............have I shown you the size of my hammer?
Anora: Why you disgusting little dwarf, I have no desire to see your.........gasp.......oh my............ *Anora leaves hurriedly with Oghren.
Oghren: You hear that Branca, I still got it. *belch*
me: Sigh. It's times like this that I really miss daddy. *swoons* *sad puppy dog eyes*
Alistair:
Yeah, I say again,
creepy. *continues to smell Teagan's rose*
Edit: For all you late-comers to the show who are wondering how on earth Bryce Cousland (aka Daddy) survived Highever...........in an earlier interview (few pages back) we interviewed Bryce and learned of his daring rescue.......by a large bird nonetheless. Sounds a bit familiar.......
Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 04 janvier 2010 - 01:42 .
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