1051 réponses à ce sujet

[Tirigon]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

See, I'm seeing very wicked and impure ideas for a mod. After all, NWN1 and 2 had the Sex and the Single Adventuress mod. I'm certain that someone with a heavy mix of toolset talent and a wicked mind could come up with something so disturbingly crass it would make Zevran blush like a virgin.

B)B)I can´t use the toolset, but if you need ideas for wicked stuff you can always PM me:devil::devil::devil:

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

See, I'm seeing very wicked and impure ideas for a mod. After all, NWN1 and 2 had the Sex and the Single Adventuress mod. I'm certain that someone with a heavy mix of toolset talent and a wicked mind could come up with something so disturbingly crass it would make Zevran blush like a virgin.

That was one of my favorite mods! The last time I said I wouldn't do something it got us here. If I could get around to understanding the toolset more I'd do it in my free time. My programming skills must not fade!

The times I've played it, I could never keep a straight face or stop laughing. It was pure comedy gold. The only downfall being all the damned guys in the mod were butt-ugly, like 70's porn stars with bad tans and even worse hair. Perhaps that's what made it so damned classic. Along with the requisite bad-porno music.

Nothing so golden as a cheap, pointless sex spree involving gay frost giants, elves with afros, and orcs named Biff.

Of course, naturally, in Dragon age, a templar mod would pretty much be stocked with hot pixilated men,  so it would be considerably easier on the eyes.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Amethyst: Gasp! The network just called and unless we can get our ratings up they said they're going to pull the plug on our show.  *Scrambles to get next guest ready and runs out on stage* *whispers to self* Please let this interview go better than the others or else I'll be out of job and and forced to work at the Pearl again. *half-heartedly prays to Maker and Andraste*

.................

Tell me if that happens, I shall be sure to visit you, hehe:devil::devil:

Besides of that, good job. Though I had preferred if Iowan had killed Culllen, but I guess I have to do that myself later on... You like him too much:(

Nonono, I'm much too nice to have random killings of deliciously handsome men on my posts.........West, on the other hand, has people left and right flying off the roof of the building.........

And um....what's this about insertion tools everyone's talking about? *blushes* I leave for a few minutes to write an interview and look what's happened.

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Tirigon wrote...

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

See, I'm seeing very wicked and impure ideas for a mod. After all, NWN1 and 2 had the Sex and the Single Adventuress mod. I'm certain that someone with a heavy mix of toolset talent and a wicked mind could come up with something so disturbingly crass it would make Zevran blush like a virgin.

B)B)I can´t use the toolset, but if you need ideas for wicked stuff you can always PM me:devil::devil::devil:

Already have ideas, I'll be happy to PM them. We can trade notes, and find someone demented enough to implement them!  it's amazing, I can barely remember my name most days, but my brain kicks into warp speed nine when given the opportunity culture pixilated smut!

[Sialater]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Amethyst: Gasp! The network just called and unless we can get our ratings up they said they're going to pull the plug on our show.  *Scrambles to get next guest ready and runs out on stage* *whispers to self* Please let this interview go better than the others or else I'll be out of job and and forced to work at the Pearl again. *half-heartedly prays to Maker and Andraste*

Alright let's give a round of applause for our next guest, my former roomate at the Mages Tower.....

Alistair: *lifts eyebrow suspiciously* Hmph, never licked a lamppost, my a**!

Amethyst: *glares at Alistair* Ahem......our next guest hails from the Mages Circle and until a certain ......uhm incident involving me, this other chick, a broken phlactery, and some templars.......

Alistair:  You led quite the wild life as an apprentice, didn't you?

Amethyst: *sighs in frustration* Hell with it.......here's Jowan.

*Jowan walks out onto the stage, reluctantly taking his seat but nervously looking to the backstage area*

Jowan: Uh........I really shouldn't be out here, you know?  The twins were very specific they wanted my expertise in ........a certain illegal school of magic......for certain.......uhm.........illegal procedures backstage.

Cullen: *tenses jaw and unsheathes his sword*  Filthy Bloodmage!

Amethyst: *looking somewhat frightened* Oh, Cullen, you're back?  Didn't Alistair chase you out of the studios after your interview.........went horribly wrong....... and you went on a killing rampage against me and all other mages in the studio?

Cullen: I'm not afraid of that little pansy prince.  Pfh, he couldn't even pass his templar training........ *glares at Alistair*

Alistair: We've been through this already......*tenses jaw and starts walking toward Cullen with his sword drawn*  I didn't fail my (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) test!!!

Amethyst: Oooh, Ali, how come you don't use that kind of language in our tent? *blushes*

Alistair: *lunges for Cullen with his shiny sword, Starfang*

Cullen: Pansy prince and his (expletive deleted) mage girlfriend!!!!

Alistair: You're only upset because she wouldn't give it up for you!

Amethyst: Oh, but I would have, had he ever asked. *smiles slyly*

Alistair: *glares at Amethyst*

Amethyst:

*The two templars start brawling as audience members scramble to get out of their way*

Amethyst: *rolls eyes* Are all templars this insane?

Zevran: But it is kind of alluring, these two fine-looking gentlemen covered in sweat, grabbing at each other like that. *Zevran moves closer in to the fight to get a better view*

Amethyst:  Why couldn't things go as planned for once?

Jowan: *looking really nervous* Ummm.......Amethyst........

Amethyst: *ignoring the two handsome templars fighting* Oh, Jowan. I'm so sorry, where were we?

Cullen: You're going down pretty boy!!!!!!!!

Alistair: I have better hair than you! I shall win the day!!!!!

Amethyst: *sighs and rolls eyes*  I do have to agree with Skadi though, there is something rather alluring about those crazy-a** templars in their skirts.  *giggles*

Alistair and Cullen:  Skirts? They are not skirts!!!!! *goes to back to fighting each other*

Jowan: Amethyst......I.....I really should tell you.......about.......

Amethyst: Oh, goodness, Jowan......our interview....yes, okay I'm with you now.  So tell me Jowan, how did you become a blood mage?

Cullen: Filthy, (expletive deleted) Blood....

*Alistair uses shield bash interrupting Cullen*

Amethyst: Ahhh, Shield Bash........

Jowan: Ameth.........

Amethyst: Oh, yes, Jowan, you were explaining how you became a Bloodmage.

Jowan: *sweating nervously*  Well, you know, there was Lily....and.....

Amethyst: Which brings me to the question, why did you and I never?

Jowan: Haven't we already discussed this?

Amethyst: Yeah, but it was in front of your girlfriend.  I mean, I couldn't exactly explain my lusty feelings I harbored about you where my loins ached just looking at you and my heart melted everytime I looked into your evil Bloodmage eyes.......

Alistair:

Cullen:

Jowan: 

Amethyst: *turning red* I didn't just say that out loud, did I?


Jowan: Well, uhm, I had no idea you felt that way about me.  You know, Lily's going to be in prison for a very long time.......if you're interested in showing me in detail how you felt about me.......


Alistair: *stops fighting with Cullen and turns to glare at Jowan* Die filthy Bloodmage!!!!!!


Cullen: Hmm, for once I agree with him.  All Bloodmages will die!!!!


*Alistair and Cullen charge the stage with swords drawn*


Jowan: Yikes!!!! I'll take a raincheck my lusty, little mage.......gotta go.........Oh, by the way, before I flee for my life there was something I've been trying to tell you about my .......uhm....experiments backstage.....


*Alistair and Cullen chase Jowan off the stage before he can finish*


Amethyst: Hmm, I wonder what Jowan was going to say.........Oh well, it probably wasn't important.


*A loud shriek bellows from behind the curtain*


Amethsyt: Oh, crap! That can't be good.


*Broodmother slithers across the stage followed by other undead creatures Amethyst and Alistair had already killed*


Amethyst: Holy (expletive deleted)!!!!! Jowan, you son of a tied down (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted).  Ali!!!!!!!!

This was funny as hell.  And it hot had fighting Templars!

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Sialater wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Amethyst: Gasp! The network just called and unless we can get our ratings up they said they're going to pull the plug on our show.  *Scrambles to get next guest ready and runs out on stage* *whispers to self* Please let this interview go better than the others or else I'll be out of job and and forced to work at the Pearl again. *half-heartedly prays to Maker and Andraste*

Alright let's give a round of applause for our next guest, my former roomate at the Mages Tower.....

Alistair: *lifts eyebrow suspiciously* Hmph, never licked a lamppost, my a**!

Amethyst: *glares at Alistair* Ahem......our next guest hails from the Mages Circle and until a certain ......uhm incident involving me, this other chick, a broken phlactery, and some templars.......

Alistair:  You led quite the wild life as an apprentice, didn't you?

Amethyst: *sighs in frustration* Hell with it.......here's Jowan.

*Jowan walks out onto the stage, reluctantly taking his seat but nervously looking to the backstage area*

Jowan: Uh........I really shouldn't be out here, you know?  The twins were very specific they wanted my expertise in ........a certain illegal school of magic......for certain.......uhm.........illegal procedures backstage.

Cullen: *tenses jaw and unsheathes his sword*  Filthy Bloodmage!

Amethyst: *looking somewhat frightened* Oh, Cullen, you're back?  Didn't Alistair chase you out of the studios after your interview.........went horribly wrong....... and you went on a killing rampage against me and all other mages in the studio?

Cullen: I'm not afraid of that little pansy prince.  Pfh, he couldn't even pass his templar training........ *glares at Alistair*

Alistair: We've been through this already......*tenses jaw and starts walking toward Cullen with his sword drawn*  I didn't fail my (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) test!!!

Amethyst: Oooh, Ali, how come you don't use that kind of language in our tent? *blushes*

Alistair: *lunges for Cullen with his shiny sword, Starfang*

Cullen: Pansy prince and his (expletive deleted) mage girlfriend!!!!

Alistair: You're only upset because she wouldn't give it up for you!

Amethyst: Oh, but I would have, had he ever asked. *smiles slyly*

Alistair: *glares at Amethyst*

Amethyst:

*The two templars start brawling as audience members scramble to get out of their way*

Amethyst: *rolls eyes* Are all templars this insane?

Zevran: But it is kind of alluring, these two fine-looking gentlemen covered in sweat, grabbing at each other like that. *Zevran moves closer in to the fight to get a better view*

Amethyst:  Why couldn't things go as planned for once?

Jowan: *looking really nervous* Ummm.......Amethyst........

Amethyst: *ignoring the two handsome templars fighting* Oh, Jowan. I'm so sorry, where were we?

Cullen: You're going down pretty boy!!!!!!!!

Alistair: I have better hair than you! I shall win the day!!!!!

Amethyst: *sighs and rolls eyes*  I do have to agree with Skadi though, there is something rather alluring about those crazy-a** templars in their skirts.  *giggles*

Alistair and Cullen:  Skirts? They are not skirts!!!!! *goes to back to fighting each other*

Jowan: Amethyst......I.....I really should tell you.......about.......

Amethyst: Oh, goodness, Jowan......our interview....yes, okay I'm with you now.  So tell me Jowan, how did you become a blood mage?

Cullen: Filthy, (expletive deleted) Blood....

*Alistair uses shield bash interrupting Cullen*

Amethyst: Ahhh, Shield Bash........

Jowan: Ameth.........

Amethyst: Oh, yes, Jowan, you were explaining how you became a Bloodmage.

Jowan: *sweating nervously*  Well, you know, there was Lily....and.....

Amethyst: Which brings me to the question, why did you and I never?

Jowan: Haven't we already discussed this?

Amethyst: Yeah, but it was in front of your girlfriend.  I mean, I couldn't exactly explain my lusty feelings I harbored about you where my loins ached just looking at you and my heart melted everytime I looked into your evil Bloodmage eyes.......

Alistair:

Cullen:

Jowan: 

Amethyst: *turning red* I didn't just say that out loud, did I?


Jowan: Well, uhm, I had no idea you felt that way about me.  You know, Lily's going to be in prison for a very long time.......if you're interested in showing me in detail how you felt about me.......


Alistair: *stops fighting with Cullen and turns to glare at Jowan* Die filthy Bloodmage!!!!!!


Cullen: Hmm, for once I agree with him.  All Bloodmages will die!!!!


*Alistair and Cullen charge the stage with swords drawn*


Jowan: Yikes!!!! I'll take a raincheck my lusty, little mage.......gotta go.........Oh, by the way, before I flee for my life there was something I've been trying to tell you about my .......uhm....experiments backstage.....


*Alistair and Cullen chase Jowan off the stage before he can finish*


Amethyst: Hmm, I wonder what Jowan was going to say.........Oh well, it probably wasn't important.


*A loud shriek bellows from behind the curtain*


Amethsyt: Oh, crap! That can't be good.


*Broodmother slithers across the stage followed by other undead creatures Amethyst and Alistair had already killed*


Amethyst: Holy (expletive deleted)!!!!! Jowan, you son of a tied down (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted).  Ali!!!!!!!!

This was funny as hell.  And it hot had fighting Templars!

Total agreement here. Templars fighting and shield bashing one another is as close to the definition of hawt as I can think, at this moment. Adding Jowan to the mix just makes it better.

[Kohaku]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

Sialater wrote...

This was funny as hell.  And it hot had fighting Templars!

Total agreement here. Templars fighting and shield bashing one another is as close to the definition of hawt as I can think, at this moment. Adding Jowan to the mix just makes it better.

Amethyst, I just might let you take over. ~Snicker~ I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love my Templars and Paladins.

Edit: Oh and Tirigon and West. I think you guys can do better than I can. <3

Modifié par Kerridan Kaiba, 05 janvier 2010 - 05:00 .

[Mahumia]

Edit: nm, I can't be funny

Modifié par Mahumia, 05 janvier 2010 - 05:50 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

Sialater wrote...

This was funny as hell.  And it hot had fighting Templars!

Total agreement here. Templars fighting and shield bashing one another is as close to the definition of hawt as I can think, at this moment. Adding Jowan to the mix just makes it better.

Amethyst, I just might let you take over. ~Snicker~ I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love my Templars and Paladins.

Edit: Oh and Tirigon and West. I think you guys can do better than I can. <3

*blush* Oh nonono, I can't take over.  You are Queen Kerridan and we are merely your servants. tee-hee.
 
Besides, I still can't do Ali's and I'm terrified to ask Tirigon to do Alistair's *shudders to think what Tirigon would do to our poor Ali*.  Although templar stripteasing is always good.

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 05 janvier 2010 - 05:26 .

[Sialater]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

Sialater wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...


*The two templars start brawling as audience members scramble to get out of their way*

Amethyst: *rolls eyes* Are all templars this insane?

Zevran: But it is kind of alluring, these two fine-looking gentlemen covered in sweat, grabbing at each other like that. *Zevran moves closer in to the fight to get a better view*

.......

Amethyst: *ignoring the two handsome templars fighting* Oh, Jowan. I'm so sorry, where were we?

Cullen: You're going down pretty boy!!!!!!!!

Alistair: I have better hair than you! I shall win the day!!!!!

Amethyst: *sighs and rolls eyes*  I do have to agree with Skadi though, there is something rather alluring about those crazy-a** templars in their skirts.  *giggles*

Alistair and Cullen:  Skirts? They are not skirts!!!!! *goes to back to fighting each other*

.......


*Alistair uses shield bash interrupting Cullen*

Amethyst: Ahhh, Shield Bash........

This was funny as hell.  And it had hot fighting Templars!

Total agreement here. Templars fighting and shield bashing one another is as close to the definition of hawt as I can think, at this moment. Adding Jowan to the mix just makes it better.

  ~giggles uncontrollably~

[AtreiyaN7]

Hehe - Alistair/Cullen/Jowan - that was priceless. I opened my inbox and decided to put off working for a bit and visit the forums, good thing I did! Oh well, off to formatting manuscripts...right after I read a few more threads.

[westiex9]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Amethyst: Gasp! The network just called and unless we can get our ratings up they said they're going to pull the plug on our show.  *Scrambles to get next guest ready and runs out on stage* *whispers to self* Please let this interview go better than the others or else I'll be out of job and and forced to work at the Pearl again. *half-heartedly prays to Maker and Andraste*

Alright let's give a round of applause for our next guest, my former roomate at the Mages Tower.....

Alistair: *lifts eyebrow suspiciously* Hmph, never licked a lamppost, my a**!

Amethyst: *glares at Alistair* Ahem......our next guest hails from the Mages Circle and until a certain ......uhm incident involving me, this other chick, a broken phlactery, and some templars.......

Alistair:  You led quite the wild life as an apprentice, didn't you?

Amethyst: *sighs in frustration* Hell with it.......here's Jowan.

*Jowan walks out onto the stage, reluctantly taking his seat but nervously looking to the backstage area*

Jowan: Uh........I really shouldn't be out here, you know?  The twins were very specific they wanted my expertise in ........a certain illegal school of magic......for certain.......uhm.........illegal procedures backstage.

Cullen: *tenses jaw and unsheathes his sword*  Filthy Bloodmage!

Amethyst: *looking somewhat frightened* Oh, Cullen, you're back?  Didn't Alistair chase you out of the studios after your interview.........went horribly wrong....... and you went on a killing rampage against me and all other mages in the studio?

Cullen: I'm not afraid of that little pansy prince.  Pfh, he couldn't even pass his templar training........ *glares at Alistair*

Alistair: We've been through this already......*tenses jaw and starts walking toward Cullen with his sword drawn*  I didn't fail my (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) test!!!

Amethyst: Oooh, Ali, how come you don't use that kind of language in our tent? *blushes*

Alistair: *lunges for Cullen with his shiny sword, Starfang*

Cullen: Pansy prince and his (expletive deleted) mage girlfriend!!!!

Alistair: You're only upset because she wouldn't give it up for you!

Amethyst: Oh, but I would have, had he ever asked. *smiles slyly*

Alistair: *glares at Amethyst*

Amethyst:

*The two templars start brawling as audience members scramble to get out of their way*

Amethyst: *rolls eyes* Are all templars this insane?

Zevran: But it is kind of alluring, these two fine-looking gentlemen covered in sweat, grabbing at each other like that. *Zevran moves closer in to the fight to get a better view*

Amethyst:  Why couldn't things go as planned for once?

Jowan: *looking really nervous* Ummm.......Amethyst........

Amethyst: *ignoring the two handsome templars fighting* Oh, Jowan. I'm so sorry, where were we?

Cullen: You're going down pretty boy!!!!!!!!

Alistair: I have better hair than you! I shall win the day!!!!!

Amethyst: *sighs and rolls eyes*  I do have to agree with Skadi though, there is something rather alluring about those crazy-a** templars in their skirts.  *giggles*

Alistair and Cullen:  Skirts? They are not skirts!!!!! *goes to back to fighting each other*

Jowan: Amethyst......I.....I really should tell you.......about.......

Amethyst: Oh, goodness, Jowan......our interview....yes, okay I'm with you now.  So tell me Jowan, how did you become a blood mage?

Cullen: Filthy, (expletive deleted) Blood....

*Alistair uses shield bash interrupting Cullen*

Amethyst: Ahhh, Shield Bash........

Jowan: Ameth.........

Amethyst: Oh, yes, Jowan, you were explaining how you became a Bloodmage.

Jowan: *sweating nervously*  Well, you know, there was Lily....and.....

Amethyst: Which brings me to the question, why did you and I never?

Jowan: Haven't we already discussed this?

Amethyst: Yeah, but it was in front of your girlfriend.  I mean, I couldn't exactly explain my lusty feelings I harbored about you where my loins ached just looking at you and my heart melted everytime I looked into your evil Bloodmage eyes.......

Alistair:

Cullen:

Jowan: 

Amethyst: *turning red* I didn't just say that out loud, did I?


Jowan: Well, uhm, I had no idea you felt that way about me.  You know, Lily's going to be in prison for a very long time.......if you're interested in showing me in detail how you felt about me.......


Alistair: *stops fighting with Cullen and turns to glare at Jowan* Die filthy Bloodmage!!!!!!


Cullen: Hmm, for once I agree with him.  All Bloodmages will die!!!!


*Alistair and Cullen charge the stage with swords drawn*


Jowan: Yikes!!!! I'll take a raincheck my lusty, little mage.......gotta go.........Oh, by the way, before I flee for my life there was something I've been trying to tell you about my .......uhm....experiments backstage.....


*Alistair and Cullen chase Jowan off the stage before he can finish*


Amethyst: Hmm, I wonder what Jowan was going to say.........Oh well, it probably wasn't important.


*A loud shriek bellows from behind the curtain*


Amethsyt: Oh, crap! That can't be good.


*Broodmother slithers across the stage followed by other undead creatures Amethyst and Alistair had already killed*


Amethyst: Holy (expletive deleted)!!!!! Jowan, you son of a tied down (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted).  Ali!!!!!!!!

lol Allistair and cullen fighting, priceless!


And miriam's was awesome too it had shubbery! and the massage oil reference makes me wonder what perth is really up to in redcliffe

Modifié par westiex9, 05 janvier 2010 - 05:53 .

[Sialater]

Well, I was disappointed with that scene in the Circle where Cullen's agonizing over you and Al doesn't say a bloody word. Especially since he'd already given me the flaming rose!

[amethyst_rose2009]

Mahumia wrote...





Miriam nods assuring "I'm sure that the tale is more interesting then you appear it to be. So tell us more about your quest then?"

Ser Perth tilts his head and his cheeks colour slightly: "You... you mean with finding more uses for the oil? I... eh.. we found out it's great as body lotion and eh... massage oil... You know that, don't you remember from.."

ROFL.   I have a tad crush on Ser Perth too.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Sialater wrote...

Well, I was disappointed with that scene in the Circle where Cullen's agonizing over you and Al doesn't say a bloody word. Especially since he'd already given me the flaming rose!

Seriously, I wish the devs had added more responses to situations like that.

[Sialater]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, I was disappointed with that scene in the Circle where Cullen's agonizing over you and Al doesn't say a bloody word. Especially since he'd already given me the flaming rose!

Seriously, I wish the devs had added more responses to situations like that.

Zevran gets to comment! 

[Mahumia]

Ser Perth is at least a honorable man ^^ Who has something with holy symbols and oil...

[amethyst_rose2009]

Sialater wrote...

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, I was disappointed with that scene in the Circle where Cullen's agonizing over you and Al doesn't say a bloody word. Especially since he'd already given me the flaming rose!

Seriously, I wish the devs had added more responses to situations like that.

Zevran gets to comment! 

I've heard about that comment.  I'll have to bring Zev with me next time.

[Sialater]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Sialater wrote...



Zevran gets to comment! 

I've heard about that comment.  I'll have to bring Zev with me next time.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how long I can go without Wynne and what I can do first without a backup healer.

[Kohaku]

Mahumia wrote...

Ser Perth is at least a honorable man ^^ Who has something with holy symbols and oil...

I caught that. You can't leave out what kinds. <_<

[Sialater]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Mahumia wrote...

Ser Perth is at least a honorable man ^^ Who has something with holy symbols and oil...

I caught that. You can't leave out what kinds. <_<

Ser Perth has a problem with elves.  All the oil in the world can't fix that.

[Lotion Soronarr]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

ROFL!  West, you crack me up.  That was funny.  Now I remember Thomas.  

Yes...the man with the biggest chin in Ferelden!

[Kohaku]

Sialater wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Mahumia wrote...

Ser Perth is at least a honorable man ^^ Who has something with holy symbols and oil...

I caught that. You can't leave out what kinds. <_<

Ser Perth has a problem with elves.  All the oil in the world can't fix that.

Got me there. They could be dealy oils.

@Lotion - Terrible my man. Just terrible.

[Lotion Soronarr]

Lotion: "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the inconvenince. We're having small technical difficulties, but rest assured that the show will resume very shortly."

*screams and sounds of battle can be heard in the background. Suddenly a large explosion shakes the screen*
Lotion: "Just minor difficulties...we have some.. * nervous, sweating* ...erm...problems with backsatge machinery."

*a severd head flies past the screen as some of hte backdrop collapses. People can be clearly seen fighting. Zevran is among them*

Lotion: "Crap. Erm.... AND NOW, GIVE ZEVRAN A ROUND OF APPLAUSE. ZEVRAN, PLEASE COME TO THE STAGE."

*Zev sheats his daggers and climbs up*

Lotion: "Now..what was that, that you wanted to show to the audience? Remeber?" (nervous wink)

Zev: (confused) "What thing?..I never-..(devilish grin).Oooh.. Yes, well, I'm quite a party animal as you well know. So I though I might show the good folk watching this a very special Antivan massage."

Lotion:"erm..an Antivan massage? What's that?"

Zev: "O, it's VERY special. Starts with firmly, but gently massaging the buttocks and then moving lower...slowly.The technique gets more complicated later...involves a bit of pulling and creative hand work. Very popular. Shall I demonstrate..on you?" (raises eyebrow)


Lotion: (sweating): "Aa...very...interesting. Thankyouforyourtime Zevran. And now, I shall show you the amazing Bronto, the bear that I recently trained. BRONTO!"

*a huge black bear comes to the stage ridinga unicycle*

Lotion: "Now Bronto, juggle this plates." (throws plates, bear catches them and juggles)

Lotion: "Now, play Mozarts 5th symphony!"

*Bronto sits at the piano and plays*

Lotion: "Now, write a theiss on Global Warming!"

*Bronto produces a stack of paper and hands them over, but starts roaring aggresivly*

Lotion: "What? It's jsut a few tyos. That's nothing to be mad about Bronto. TI's not like it's gonna affect your-" (Brotno lunges savigly)

Lotion: "AAAAAH!!! My spleeen! My precious spleen!.....EVERYTHING IS OoOOoK! THE SHOW WILL CONTINUE! CUT TO COMERCIAAAAAAAAAAAAA.."

[Kohaku]

And now the maiming comes. XD