1051 réponses à ce sujet

[Lotion Soronarr]

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

[Kohaku]

Lotion Soronnar wrote...

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

You see... when Jowan raised Maric he ended up a messed up sex freak. He, Loghain and Duncan were all getting freaky with the chicken. That's all kinds of messed up.

[Sialater]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Lotion Soronnar wrote...

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

You see... when Jowan raised Maric he ended up a messed up sex freak. He, Loghain and Duncan were all getting freaky with the chicken. That's all kinds of messed up.

Uh.... ew?

[Mahumia]

Ok, another attempt then to keep the interviews going. Continued my previous attempt here.

*Sneaks out
from the audience, letting out a deep sigh as the broodmother approaches,
wildly waving with her tentacles*



Miriam: Oh, I think Loghain went that way *points to the fire exit*



*Broodmother quickly turns around and blobs her way to the exit*



Miriam under her breath: Weird creature...



Miriam: Anyway, for those who are still watching and haven't yet fallen asleep,
I'll do an attempt to eh... keep the show going untill those hot waxed chest...
eh I mean... hard working men have cleaned up the mess here! So...



*grabs the cards that are spread around on the floor* Let us welcome our next
guest! *wipes some blood from the card* The brave and valiant knight of
Redcliffe: Ser Perth! *applauds*



Ser Perth comes on stages and bows "Thank you mylady. It has been a while
hasn't it?"



Miriam: "At least you still remember how to adress me... but never mind,
please sit down"



Ser Perth: "Pardon me mylady, but it seems that the chairs have been
crushed by something...?"



Miriam facepalms and kicks one of the broken chairs backstage "Oh, never
mind, the kids had some time off... Hmm, so tell me something about yourself
ser."



Ser Perth smiles friendly and turns his gaze to the audience. "Well, most
probably know that I'm serving the Arl of Redcliffe. I came to the castle at
the age of twelve as a squire. Not really that much to tell about it
actually..."



Miriam nods assuring "I'm sure that the tale is more interesting then you
appear it to be. So tell us more about your quest then?"



Ser Perth tilts his head and his cheeks colour slightly: "You... you mean
with finding more uses for the oil? I... eh.. we found out it's great as body
lotion and eh... massage oil... You know that, don't you remember from.."



Miriam interrupts him hastily "Ahum, no no, I meant when the Arl was ill,
of course!"



He strikes his gloved hand through his hair: "Oh, too bad. Well, when he
first got ill he kept asking for some shrubbery... but when we finally came
back, he just asked for another! One of my knights returned with a mage from
Orlais, who wanted to help him healing. Quite a dissappointment that one was...
I’m not that fond of magi, but this one had really extraordinairy chants.
Something like “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled like
elderberry”... I mean, seriously, we couldn’t take that one serious and saw no
other option then to remove him by force. But...” *looks up rather disturbed
when an undead turkey enters the stage and wanders around* “By the Maker! What
in the Light is that?!”

 

Miriam
looks up annoyed and rolls her eyes “Jowan... perhaps I should just have left
him in that dungeon anyway...” She turns to the camera and mouths “Cut” to it. She
looks nervously to Ser Perth “Eh... let us continue another time then right?”

 

 

Ser Perth ignores
her. He unsheaths his sword and runs towards the turkey. The turkey seems to be
doing some sort of strange dance, waving with its wings in the air and cackling
“I feel happy... I feel happy”. His happiness didn’t last that long though,
since a hard hit with the pommel of Ser Perths sword knocked it out cold.

 

Miriam lets
out a deep sigh in relief: “Aah, thanks very much”. But the words have hardly
left her mouth, or the turkey lifts itself up its paws again and launches
itself towards Ser Perth.

 

An epic
battle follows, in which Ser Perth shows off his fabulous fighting skills and
the turkey starts to lose more and more limbs. At one point the turkey jumps up
in an attempt to pick Perth in his knees, but he deflects the attack by cleanly
beheading the creature.

 

Miriam
gasps in awe and moves slowly towards Ser Perth. “That was marvelous! Thank you
so much for saving all those people in the audience... I” She turns around to
the audience, seeing that it’s completely empty, except for a few engaged in
some foursome and a few others who are snoring loudly. “Well... you must be
very tired now. Shall we go get a drink somewhere? Maybe we can chat a bit
about your experiences, whether or not it involves oil... And I can help cleaning your armor...” She grabs
Perths arm and drags him backstage.

 

Modifié par Mahumia, 05 janvier 2010 - 09:13 .

[Sialater]

Hehehehehe, he vanquished a turkey for you!

[amethyst_rose2009]

Sialater wrote...

Hehehehehe, he vanquished a turkey for you!

LOL.   I knew it was only a matter of time before a turkey made an appearance. 

[amethyst_rose2009]

Omg, have you guys seen the new video for the expansion?  I'm so giddy.  Ali's going to be in it. *swoon*

http://www.gamespot....g/video/6244913


Sorry, I just got really excited and had to share some good Alistair news.........now back to the Mister Fereldon Show.....

[ReubenLiew]

I demand Maric be a returning character, damnit.

[Mahumia]

I'll pay the 40$ happily if the 'favorite from DA:O' means that I can recruit one of the hawties mentioned in this thread... *starts to abuse her Right of Conscription*



I mean seriously... can we recruit Teagan...? Then I'll pay 40 more *puppy eyes Bioware*

[elys]

Yeah seriously, who cares about Alidespair, bring Teagan in !

[Tirigon]

@ Mahumia? What did you continue? I somehow missed the first part - cant find it..



@all: Alistair will probably come next. I plan to get some special guests, too.

@Lotion: You can be in, too, if I get your spells. INCLUDING Number 3.

[amethyst_rose2009]

elys wrote...

Yeah seriously, who cares about Alidespair, bring Teagan in !

Well, anyway, didn't mean to derail the thread but I was just too dang giddy.  Anyway, I'm sure it has to do with how you ended your game.  So in your game, depending on your ending, Alistair might not even be in the expansion.  But yeah, it would be cool to be able to conscript other people you've already met.  I'd rather have Ser Perth than Teagan personally or maybe even Cullen.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

@ Mahumia? What did you continue? I somehow missed the first part - cant find it..

@all: Alistair will probably come next. I plan to get some special guests, too.
@Lotion: You can be in, too, if I get your spells. INCLUDING Number 3.

Tirigon's going to interview Alistair?  Oh my, I can only imagine how naughty it's going to be.  Oooh, I can't wait!

[Kohaku]

Sialater wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Lotion Soronnar wrote...

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

You see... when Jowan raised Maric he ended up a messed up sex freak. He, Loghain and Duncan were all getting freaky with the chicken. That's all kinds of messed up.

Uh.... ew?

Exactly. So Jowan's rez skills are in serious doubt. I should have listened to you guys threads ago.

@ Tirigon - Alistair is needed to this party. So far he's only been a sidenote. Beating up Cullen. Being dissed about his hair and tied up in a dungeon.

@ Rebuen - I really want Maric to come back but the pictures of him are so small.

Modifié par Kerridan Kaiba, 05 janvier 2010 - 10:53 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Lotion Soronnar wrote...

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

You see... when Jowan raised Maric he ended up a messed up sex freak. He, Loghain and Duncan were all getting freaky with the chicken. That's all kinds of messed up.

Uh.... ew?

Exactly. So Jowan's rez skills are in serious doubt. I should have listened to you guys threads ago.

@ Tirigon - Alistair is needed to this party. So far he's only been a sidenote. Beating up Cullen. Being dissed about his hair and tied up in a dungeon.

@ Rebuen - I really want Maric to come back but the pictures of him are so small.

Did I miss something?  I want, I want, I want.......

And I would absolutely love for Maric to be part of an expansion or sequal somehow.

[ReubenLiew]

I want him back as Lord Cthulhu, damnit.

Lost at sea? HA, more like ascended into godhood if you ask me.

I'a Cthulhu!

[Herr Uhl]

And thus, a hentai involving Maric and tentacles is born.

[Kohaku]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...
Did I miss something?  I want, I want, I want.......

And I would absolutely love for Maric to be part of an expansion or sequal somehow.

That was in Noemi and Nemiah (do an) interview with Tirigon. It might be a few pages back.

Modifié par Kerridan Kaiba, 05 janvier 2010 - 11:01 .

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Lotion Soronnar wrote...

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

You see... when Jowan raised Maric he ended up a messed up sex freak. He, Loghain and Duncan were all getting freaky with the chicken. That's all kinds of messed up.

Hmm...Maric, Loghain, Duncan, and a chicken you say? Now that just intrigues me in ways psychologically healthy people shouldn't be.

Throw Shale in the mix, and I want it on pay per view.

[ReubenLiew]

Herr Uhl wrote...

And thus, a hentai involving Maric and tentacles is born.

*drools*

[Kohaku]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

Lotion Soronnar wrote...

Call Jowan. Rez pls.

You see... when Jowan raised Maric he ended up a messed up sex freak. He, Loghain and Duncan were all getting freaky with the chicken. That's all kinds of messed up.

Hmm...Maric, Loghain, Duncan, and a chicken you say? Now that just intrigues me in ways psychologically healthy people shouldn't be.

Throw Shale in the mix, and I want it on pay per view.

Would anybody finance that? What am I talking about? Of course they would!

@ Reuben and Herr - This is going to dark places. I like.

[ReubenLiew]

You mea we weren't there yet?

Damnit, I've been slacking.

*cracks knuckles*

It's showtime!

[coldblossom]

*catches up on the thread*

Yay! Hot Templars touching each other! 

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Sialater wrote...

Well, I was disappointed with that scene in the Circle where Cullen's agonizing over you and Al doesn't say a bloody word. Especially since he'd already given me the flaming rose!

Seriously, I wish the devs had added more responses to situations like that.

This x eleventy-thousand.

When that happened, I fully expected to have an awkward talk with Alistair after.

Alistiar: Who was that guy? 
Me: You didn't catch his name? I was on my knees, screaming "Cullen!"
Alistair: Oh, right. *eyes narrowing* Who is he to you?
Me: *awkward*
Alistair: You didn't! With him!? I thought I was your only one!
Me: I didn't say that I did!
Alistair: You didn't say you didn't!
Me: Jealous much? Because of his hang-ups all I got was some serious UST.
Alistair: UST? Who says that? Nobody says that! What does it mean, anyway?
Me: *facepalm*
Alistair: Did he follow you around? Did you two....y'know, not lick lamp-posts but perhaps...look at them very intently? Lasciviously perhaps? Did he give you a rose, too? Did he smell your hair or anything? What kind of relationship was this because it actually sounds kind of bizarre and stalker-ish....
Me: I think I'm going to go and work on my scrapbook with Sten...

[mrofni]

I can't believe someone included a turkey. I guess I better apologize about what I said about the people here before... but I'm too lazy. Assume that my approval of the turkey is also an apology.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Amethyst: Okay, we're back after that horrible incident with Broodmother.  Dang, what a mess she left!  Good thing my dear friend, Ser Gilmore, is here to help clean up with his ......rippling muscles.........luscious red hair.......waxed hairless chest.......and......and.....*stares dreamily at Gilmore and smiles*

Alistair: My Dear, we talked about this! You said you wouldn't embarass me anymore!

Amethyst: Ooops sorry.  I did say I would try to be better.  *bats eyelashes innocently*

Gilmore: *smiles slyly at Amethyst*

Alistair: *sighs heavily and rolls his eyes*

Darrien: Keep your eyes off of him you wench!  Gilmore's mine!

Amethyst: Argggh! *glares angrily at Darrien*  Why you little lesser-born noble!  I lost my virginity to you!

Alistair: *rolls eyes*  Huh, I seriously doubt it!

Amethyst: *gives Alistair icy glare*

Darrien: But I was thinking of my sweet Gilmore the whole time. *smiles slyly at Gilmore*

Amethyst: *face flashes red with anger* Ugggghhh!!!!  Why you little...... *starts spewing off so many expletives that even Zevran blushes*.......!!!!!!!!

Zevran: Oooh, what a fiery temper on that one!  Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?  *raises eyebrow* Would you like to kiss an elf with it? *smiles slyly at Amethyst*

Alistair: *raises eyebrow and looks at Zev*

Zevran: *winks at Alistair and blows him a kiss*

Alistair: Oh Maker! Why in all of Thedas do I travel with you freaks? One of you can't stay away from anything wearing pants, one thinks the Maker is speaking to her, creepy, we have a dwarf who shares every bodily function he has with the rest of us, a freaking maniac murderer quanari, an assasin who may I remind you tried to freakin kill us, and last but not least a freaky witch-thief!

Alistair: *quickly covers his mouth with his hands and looks at fellow party members completely mortified* Maker, did I say that out loud?

Amethyst, Zevran, Oghren, Leliana, Morrigan, and Sten:  *Everyone glares angrily at Alistair*

Zevran: And people say I have issues........  You know, fair Alistair, it sounds as if you have some built-up.....how shall I say.......sexual tension.  I could help with that. *winks at Alistair*

Amethyst: *still glaring angrily at Alistair* Boy, your tent's going to be cold tonight!!!

Zevran: But it doesn't have to be.......*smiles slyly at Alistair*  I have rope! *wink*

Alistair: *sinks very low in his seat and starts rocking back and forth* Oh please make it go away, please make it go away.......

Amethyst:   *Sighs and rolls eyes*  *stares angrily at Darrien* *sighs heavily*  We better go on to our next guest before I kill something!!!!  *takes deep breath and counts to ten*  Okaaaayyy, I'm.....better......now. 

Cailan: Am I the only sane one here?  Clearly everyone in here is completely unstable.  *takes mirror out to admire his hair and flashes a charming smile at his reflection*

Amethyst:   Alright it says on my list here that we are going to have another surprise guest.  Oh Maker, after the last surprise guest I don't think my nerves are up to this, but what the hell.  How bad could it be, right? *breaks into nervous sweat*  *takes deep nervous breath* Please don't let this be bad.........alright bring him out already.  *closes eyes and braces for the worst*

*Arl Howe slinks out from behind the curtain like the low-life scum we all love to hate*

Amethyst: *eyes wide with shock and anger*  Y......you.......I killed your fu**ing a** once already! What the hell are you doing here?  *glares angrily toward the backstage area* Jowan!!!!!

Arl Howe: *flashes a disgusting smile*  Well hello again, Miss Cousland.  Soooo nice to see you again.  I even forgive you for killing me.  *insane laugh* You know, I always did have my eye on you, sweet thing. *Arl Howe runs his hand up Amethyst's thigh*

Alistair:  *forgets his earlier embarassment and jumps across five rows to the stage with his shiny sword, Starfang*
No one shall touch Amethyst's thighs except for me.........and about a dozen other guys apparently........but definitely not YOU!!! You shall apologize at once, wicked fiend!

Amethyst:  *glares at Alistair and sighs*  Oh, I don't want an apology!  I want Howe's head on a fu**ing spear!!!

*Amethyst lunges at Howe and grabs for his throat as Alistair throws his strong arms around Amethyst and pulls her back*

Howe:  *screams like a little girl and flees stage* Get that crazy woman away from me!

Amethyst: *struggles to free herself from Alistair's strong grip* Come back here, you scared little *spews off long list of expletives that causes the Reverand Mother to faint dead cold* I'll gut you like a *more expletives*.  You haven't seen blood til I've put a sword up your *yet more expletives*

Alistair: *red-faced and stuggling to hold Amethyst back*  W.....well, um........ that's it for this episode of the Mister Fereldon Show......

Amethsyt: Let me Go!!!! *claws at Alistair's strong arms* I'm gonna kill that *more expletives* and this time he won't *even more expletives* come back!!!!

Alistair: *Struggles fiercely with Amethyst on stage* Cut.......cut to commercials already.......Oh for the love of the Maker, woman would you stop clawing me!!!! Ouch!!!!  Hey, no biting!!!

*crowd starts to break into chaos as everyone runs for the doors*

Zevran: Anyone have any popcorn?  This is just getting good. *smiles slyly*