*Studio cafeteria. Almost the whoeel show cast is here, munching and reading newspapers. Lotion walks in*
L: "Hi folks!"
Noemi: (confused): "Aren't you dead?"
L: "I got beter."
Nemiah: "How the hell do you get better from that? The bear was stepdancing on your corpse!"
L: (shrugs)"Can't keep a good man down!"
Noemi: (eye twiching): "Down? You weren't "down", you were all over the studio. In pieces!"
L: "Calm yourself. Pull yourself togehter...like I did."
Noemi: "That.. That- it doesn't make sense!!!"
L: (raises eyebrow)"With all the stuff that's been going on in this studio THIS is what's surprising you? C'mon. Nothing here makes sense. Don't suddenly expect me to"
Noemi: "Gimme a straight answer dammit!" (pulls out a knife)
*amethyst_rose and Tirigon jump to hold Neomi down*
Nemiah: "So why are you here exactly?"
L: "Got something to drop off here....here" (dump a huge stack of papers on the table)
Tirigon: "What are those? Planing to write a encyclopedia?"
L: "I wish...the legal department sent this...these are lawsuits."
Noemi: "WHAAAAAAT? What for?"
L: (picks up the top paper and starts reading) "Indicent exposure, fraud, assault, aggravated assault, slander, animal abuse, attempted murder, murder, false advertising, ba- (as he readss on Noemi and Nemiah fall into catatonic state)
Tirigon: "Stop reading! You're killing them!"
amethyst_rose: "Hoyl hell....where did that come from? I'd except some hate mail as a forewarning. ...We never got any hate-mail....right?"
L: "Technicly no-.."
Noemi:"Oh, good..."
L: "It never got dilivered to us. The post office got swamped. Had to rent a warehous to store it!"
Noemi: "buhh...huh...fzk....jkjisllrt.."
L: "And the'yll charge us for the rent too."
Noemi: "AAAAAACKkkk-...!"
Tirigon: "She down! Call 911!"
Nemiah: "Quick..her pocket."
Tirigon: (reaches into the pocket)"what's this? A..picture of Alistair?"
Noemi: (snaps out of it) MINEEE! MINEEEE! (swipes the picture and kisses it)
...
Nemiah: "Soo...what do we do? We need to boost rating, and then some! We're gonna need the money to pay for al lthe legal procedings....and damages."
Tirigon: "Anyone got any ideas?"
L: "Hmmm.....how about getting ALL of the Miss and Mister Ferelden contestants into a giant fight. Preferably in their skivies. And in mud..or a givan vat of jello."
Nemiah: "All of them together? Even 2 or 3 togetehr end up trashing the studio and causing lawsuits. Are you insane?"
L: "why do you ask?"
Nemiah: ".....I wonder myself sometimes."
Noemi: "Yeah...can you even immagine Alistair and Cullen and Zevran and everoyne else wrestling in there? the sweat glistening on their bodies....the musles ripling with strain...the hair all covered in mud....*drool*..the...the...."
Tirigon: "She's out again....but we will consider that proposal.....you got anything else?"
L: "Well, I can allways demonstrate my latest spell!"
Nemiah: "What does it do?"
L: "Kick me in the balls!"
Nemiah: "Eh? you sure."
L: "Dont' question me woman, DO IT!"
Nemiah: "question this! (kick Lotion hard between the legs) OUCHH!"
*hops around holding her foot and collapses on the floor*
Nemiah: "What the hell??"
L: "I call this spell
The Balls of Steel...well, actually the Dick of Steel might be a better name since it affect the whole package. Great in warfare..and has other practical applications. Like if your significant other likes it HARD! Allow me to demonstrate!"
*drops pants and jumps on Nemiah*
AAahahahahaha haaa aaahhhhhaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Modifié par Lotion Soronnar, 06 janvier 2010 - 08:54 .