So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have recognized that this thing is suffering a crapload of problems right now. There is hatemail, legal problems, people actually relying on ME!!! to safe their ass from getting knifed...... Well, I can´t be having with that.
So, this time I have gotten all the stars for a little game. It´s called "Changed Pants" ....... ehm, parts... and it involves a bunch of guys questioning ME. Afterwards, Ladies and Gentlemen, you shall have the chance to ask more. If you want to. Or give me kisses, transfer money to my account, inviting me to orgies in your villa or whatever you consider appropriate to admire me.
Oh, it´s "Changed Roles" of course, not parts, lol. I was still thinking of pants - Shianni has got new ones today and I had to help her taking them off for showering, hehe - and so I made that mistake...
So, as it has proven VERY useful recently, here the legal stuff:
[smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/policeman.png[/smilie]
WARNING! The following interview is a joint venture of various celebrities, among them ZEVRAN, SHIANNI, ARL EAMON, MORRIGAN and THE ANNOYING ASSCLOWN who stalks me since the first show and will get a sword right through his f*cking stomach if he doesn´t SHUT UP right NOW!!! Oh sorry, I lost my temper here. Shall not happen aga.... F*CKING SOB! GO DIE, REALLY! ... again. This was the last time, really.
Anyways, what I was trying to say is: This show will involve a bunch of people asking me things. These will probably be naughty things, inappropriate for children and squeemish adults such as : SHIANNI, metal lingerie, Sex, Drugs and Rock´n´Roll, Violence, Blood and Gore, NO hentai, a terrible lack of Broodmothers, a lot of hate towards the chantry and so forth. Therefore, this show is rated MATURE by the media control. And we take no responsibility if you are offended, apalled or simply inable to grasp a joke. All right? And nothing about kitchens now, it´s not funny anymore.
Arl Eamon:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Mister Ferelden Special. Today, our well-known Star-moderator Tirigon will sit down there, and we are up here, asking him questions. He will answer all of them, so it´ll be interesting. And I know I suck as Moderator, so stop throwing tomatoes, please. I´ll hand the micro to MORRIGAN now.Morrigan (moving her awesome, beautiful body in a seducing way, her robe cut out even more than usual):
Hello to TIRIGON!!!!*Tirigon walks in; today, he wears slightly gothic make-up, a rather dandy dress and a hat. He is accompanied by a beautiful young elf playing the harp*
Tirigon (taking off his hat to greet):
Hello, Ladies, Gentlemen, everything all right?
Zevran:
Now that I see you, of course!Tirigon (throwing him a kiss):
Thank you, darling. So, let´s get this started, all right?
Eamon:
Yes. First question. *he looks down on his script, but the annoying assclown interrupts*
Annoying Assclown:
So, Tirigon, tell us about your dick. Or just show him. We have seen all kind of Striptease here already, even sex, but never your ****!*Tirigon casts a fireball at the annoying assclown, without even getting up; he runs off burning*
Eamon (found question in his script):
So. First question. *monotonously*
Why do you always have sex and that kind of thing in your show?Tirigon:
Well, it started quite innocently, with Cammen. I didn´t PLAN to go on about sex every time. But with Cammen it simply fitted. Then, afterwards, it was sort of forced upon me. Noone seemed to be interested in anything else. Even if I DID make innuendos, a little political satire and such, all the ladies were interested in nothing but the nude pics. So I simply did the same as EA Games and adapted to the crowd.
Zevran (yawning):
An answer without sex or other fun. So.... booooring.....Tirigon (disillusioned):
See? That´s what I mean.Morrigan:
So, it´s my turn*annoying assclown crawls back on stage; Morrigan freezes him with CoC and continues*
Morrigan:
You are said to be a powerful bloodmage. You are also said to be quite a lewd guy. So why did you never sleep with me? You even had ALISTAIR perform the dark ritual with me. That sissy.Tirigon:
I think you are ugly. And I dislike the way you show your breasts. Mind you, I have nothing against breasts. I just prefer Shianni´s. And I prefer to have them covered until I... need them uncovered ... for.... the action. Or in metal lingerie, of course *smiles at amethyst_rose*
Shianni:
You know, I wanted to ask you something since long ago... I always wondered why you live with me... I mean, I´m glad about that, you know, but... You could have much better women. You could even be King if you had married Anora.*Tirigon stands up and kisses Shianni - not in a lewd way, but showing true love*
Tirigon:
I ... wondered that myself. Probably it is because you are the most beautiful woman in Thedas. And maybe because I don´t need to be the good guy or you disapprove. That´s what made me break up with Leliana and Alistair. I simply love you. You are perfect.*he kisses her again*
Morrigan:
Oh my god... Sickening...... Anyone else feels like kicking him in the balls?
*she casts a CoC on Tirigon and Shianni, but Tirigon dispels it and counters with a terrible bloodmage thing Morrigan is badly hurt and has to leave the stage*
Tirigon (still holding Shianni in his arms):
I should have done that right when I reached Lothering. Stupid b!tch-witch... So, next question, before I decide to blow up the studio.Annoying Assclown (he has unfreezed in the meantime):
Sooo.... What about your d....*Zevran throws a knife in his face to shut him up*
Eamon (reading from the script):
So, Tirigon, let´s talk about your fascination with metal lingerie...
Tirigon:
Well, it´s fun. And Shianni looks beautiful in it. Others too. Mind you, they look beautiful anyways. But metal lingerie IS hot by itself. Besides, it amuses the crowd.
Take a look: 
Zevran (stunned):
Aaaaa... Awesome... You are back, my friend!!!Shianni (annoyed):
Shut up. Can´t you see he´s in a bad mood today?Annoying Assclown (with effort):
Will ...... you .... have s.. sex ... now?!*Shianni stands up, but Eamon is faster. He kicks him in the head*
All, unisono:
What an annoying assclown.Zevran:
But I imagine he´ll be handy when I practice knife-throwing, hehe...*Throws a dagger at him just for fun*
Eamon (exactly the same, boring voice as always):
So, next question... It seems you have a little struggle with some of our customers, especially with this one Reuben_Lieuw?Tirigon:
Well, I have no problem with him. It´s just, he talks about Hentai all the time. I don´t like that. We are here to have fun, not to talk about porn. And especially not about perverted porn like tentacels and such...... After all, there are people with children here.
I think the mood has somehow changed when °someone° felt like calling us retards... since then it´s not as much fun as it used to be. I actually considered resigning.
Zevran:
But... you can´t resign! We need you and your jokes! This place needs to be FUN again.
Tirigon:
Yes, it does. But it´s not my job to bring the fun back. Nor am I able to do so. I have done some stuff I consider as good. And some others do so, too, according to their reactions. If that is not enough I can´t help it.
Eamon (even now without any emotions:)
So what are you going to do?
*the Annoying Assclown tries to get up, but Tirigon casts a fireball on him and he goes down again*
Tirigon:
I´m staying here for a while, maybe someone wants to ask more questions. Later I´ll go to bed with Shianni and that´s it.
Modifié par Tirigon, 06 janvier 2010 - 11:17 .
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What about that blind templar from the orphanage? Or someone from Lothering?
![=]](https://lvlt.forum.bioware.com/public/style_emoticons/default/sideways.png)
