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[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Fast Jimmy wrote...

Good stuff Crusty! The scenes wih Merizan always have me cracking up.

Although, for the record, while I do have respect for Chris Avellone as a designer, I'm not what I think anyone would call a fanboy. I actually haven't even pledged for either PE or the new Planescape.

Things seem to be going well for the team... almost TOO well... <cue dramatic organ music!>

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Chapter Index, Introduction and BSN Party Member Profiles.

Recap:

On the behalf of Stanley Woo, The group of Fast Jimmy, Johnnie Walker, Celrath, KloieKat, Billy the Squid and ThePinkFoxx aid the rebels against the tyrannical reign of Queen Jessica Merizan to try and save their beloved BioWare Social Network.

The team take out Merizan's loyal forces in the Dragon Age: Origins subforums and establish a base of operations there. They recently add a new area to their territory: the Inquisition subforums.

The A-Team then finishes off a family of rampaging hicks causing trouble for the newly liberated Inquisition populace.

The B-Team, comprising of MASSEFFECTfanforlife101, Randumb Vanguard, Volus Warlord, Dave of Canada, RedArmyShogun, and The Minority, eliminates Merizan's forces south of the Inquisition forums and take over a military base containing surface to air defense missiles, and documents detailing other secrets about the regime.

Chapter 20:

: So, Mino. Give me a report.

: Well, we've secured the military base. We've also intercepted some communiques between Merizan and other BioWare officials.

: What do they say?

: She's complaining an awful lot about us and the people we've won over in the Off-Topic zone. We're known as the vocal minority. They're worried about the toxic environment we're creating.

: If Merizan keeps serving people turd sandwiches, she shouldn't complain when her restaurant smells like ****. Anything else?

: Yeah, she's found out about the liberation of the Inquisition subforum, she wants to send a mass of reinforcements to Retake Inquisition.

: ...We can use this to our advantage. A lot of Merizan's footsoldiers are stationed in the nearby Mass Effect Legacy forums. It's basically a fortress for her, full of hardened BioWare sycophants. There's some civilian posters too, but they're afraid of Merizan. They might just empty out the subforum to Retake Inquisition, leaving it prone to attack. Heh. You make this too easy, Merizan.

: I don't think we can meet you there for a while. Dave, Volus and Red are... incapacitated. Dave got shot in the leg, Volus in the chest and Red... well Red uhh, came down with something. They're not in any condition to travel and need time to recover.

: Red came down with something?

: Yeah. I'm not 100% sure. But I can tell you it wasn't an allergic reaction caused by an un-necessary injection with an experimental drug.

: Sounds legit. But look, that's okay. Rest up, you'll need to defend the Inquisition forums when the loyalists arrive to take it. You'll kind of be the bait in this plan, but since you can't travel for now, I'm okay with it. Oh, and before I forget. Don't contact me, I'll contact you. I don't want the loyalists to find out about our plans or rack us via GPS.

: Wait, bait? I'm not okay with that!

: Deal with it.

Jimmy hangs up, leaving Mino to deal with it.

-------------------------------------------------

With the A-Team...

-------------------------------------------------

: You want us to what? Isn't this move a bit aggressive, Jimmy? We're only just consolidating our hold on the Inquisition forums and it's surroundings.

: Merizan's forces are on the march. What if they Retake Inquisition before we are able to liberate the Mass Effect Legacy forums?

: And what about the other team? It'll take a while before Inquisition has a dependable militia force and the B-Team isn't ready to fight yet.

: They'll fight if they need to fight. Besides, they're nice and cozy in that military base. They're not in the Inquisition subforums, and not in any danger. I like this idea Jimmy. It's ballsy. Like your mother. 5/5 Bacons.

: I gave Mino a few doses of medication to aid in the recover of wounds, surgeries, etc. I've refined the formula since the uhh, recent event. So if he knows what he's doing, they'll be fine. He now has a more effective and safer version of the umm-edication.

: Impressive, Foxxy. We've been pretty busy lately, how'd you get time to test the drugs?

: T-test??

: Look, I'm not putting this up for debate. Yes, it's risky. But if we pull it off, we can take yet another subforum from Merizan and cripple her recruitment program. Once we flood Mass Effect Legacy subforum with the truth about her regime, all those prospective loyalists who buy the Trilogy Pack will be fighting for us instead. Usually the subforum is stacked with loyalists. But even if they leave behind a garrison, a lot of footsoldiers will be headed towards the Inquisition subforums. We may not get another chance like this.

: So, the B-Team really is the bait.

: If we can get to the Mass Effect Legacy subforums before they reach the Inquisition subforums, the B-Team can negotiate a surrender when they arrive. Or, we can force their leaders here in the Legacy subforums to get them to stand down. So, yeah they're bait. But I'm hoping that they won't need to fight. That's why we're doing this, now. I don't want to waste more time talking. Get ready, we'll leave ASAP.

Having settled the issue, Jimmy walks away from the group, packing his belongings and preparing for the journey ahead.

The others voice their concerns amongst themselves, but ultimately follow suit. Jimmy was becoming quite the leader. And despite their reservations, the team was willing to fall in line. If anybody could defeat Queen Merizan and lead the BSN to freedom, it just might be Jimmy.

-------------------------------------------------

Back with the B-Team...

-------------------------------------------------

Two days pass without incident and with some timely jabs, all of Dave, Red and Volus recover from their injuries. Not fully, but enough for light exercise and training. They would be able to fight as well, if it came to that.

There had been no need so far, though. And the B-Team was able to rest, recover and prepare in peace. Randy and Red were making headway with some civilians, training them up to be a competent militia force.

While Minority as the team medic and Volus as the team leader, also found productive ways to spend their time, Luis started following Dave. There was nobody else to hang around. Understandably, the Canadian was not very pleased with the arrangement.

: I want to do a new playthrough of Mass Effect 2 and 3.

: So? Do it. Away from me.

: Well, I'm thinking of romancing Liara, but I just can't get myself to do it.

: Wut? Why?

: Well because Miranda is my Shepard's LI in my true playthrough. But if I romance Liara, I might start to feel confused about which one is my Shepard's canon LI. But it's Miranda, not Liara!!

: Why didn't Merizan's drones shoot my ears instead? Can't believe I have to listen to this rubbi-

Sirens and alarms go off, red lights flash all over the base. Randy and Red gather the militia, and bark instructions at them. The militia are given their orders and are dismissed as Mino and Volus rush to join the group.

: So, they're here.



Shots are head north of the compound and militia rush over to investigate. Randy climbs onto the roof to get a better view and the others crouch behind natural cover.



They wait for the enemy to come into sight. Except for Luis, who faces the opposition direction to cover the team from all angles. It turns out to be a fortuitous decision, as several loyalists pop out from behind their position.

They've been tricked.



: BEHIND YOU!!

Luis' yell startles the loyalist contingent, and they drop dead in their tracks. They didn't expect to be seen.

The team turns around, aim at the group of loyalists and unleash a furious barrage of bullets.

The sound of gunfire is deafening and the flash of muzzles, blinding.

They keep going until all their clips go empty. They pause for a moment and survey the damage while they reload their weapons.



The brief respite gives the loyalists a second to consider their options.



They had lost the element of surprise, and many of their soldiers were wounded or dead. Fighting on would be difficult, as the BSN team were safely fortified and they were caught out of position. The militia posed yet another threat and could strike from the flanks if the remaining loyalists were not careful.

They decide to cut their losses and calmly make a tactical withdrawal.



The last couple of loyalists run off into the desert and the battle is won. Chasing after Merizan's fleeing henchmen would be difficult and not worth the trouble. Volus decides to scavenge the bodies of their dead comrades instead.

Dave, Luis and Red slump to the ground, exhausted. That was intense, the adrenaline. Had Luis spotted the loyalists 10 seconds later, it could've been all over for the team.

: Well, thank God that's over. I suppose we can take it easy until Jimmy has news for us.

Randy on the other hand, is less optimistic.

: That looked like a scouting force if you ask me... it might not be the main force. They could come back in greater numbers.

: Yer worrying for nothing. We're good, too good. Hey, Luis! You like Mass Effect right? How'd you wanna hear about this idea I have for an ME 4 AI romance...

-------------------------------------------------

That evening...

-------------------------------------------------



Randy had been right to worry.

[Volus Warlord]

El Oh El

[Volus Warlord]

Oh yes and KILL DEM CLOPPERS! KILL EM DEAD!

And I like how no one has any serious flaws, but I am psychotic.

Modifié par Volus Warlord, 30 avril 2013 - 03:16 .

[RedArmyShogun]

lol I love the inside ref at the end lulz.

[Dave of Canada]

I'm worried about the fate of the rebels at the end, can the glorious rebellion end with Merizan victorious after all? It was all going too well.

Modifié par Dave of Canada, 06 mai 2013 - 08:01 .

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Sorry, Dean.



Chapter Index, Introduction and BSN Party Member Profiles.

Recap:

On the behalf of Stanley Woo, The group of Fast Jimmy, Johnnie Walker, Celrath, KloieKat, Billy the Squid and ThePinkFoxx aid the rebels against the tyrannical reign of Queen Jessica Merizan to try and save their beloved BioWare Social Network.

The team take out Merizan's loyal forces in the Dragon Age: Origins subforums and establish a base of operations there. They recently add a new area to their territory: the Inquisition subforums.

The B-Team, comprising of MASSEFFECTfanforlife101, Randumb Vanguard, Volus Warlord, Dave of Canada, RedArmyShogun, and The Minority, eliminates Merizan's forces south of the Inquisition forums and take over a military base containing surface to air defense missiles, and documents detailing other secrets about the regime.

Using the B-Team's conquest as bait to lure Merizan's forces, Jimmy leads the A-Team directly into the Mass Effect Legacy Forums. A place he hopes will be lightly guarded and ripe for the taking.

Chapter 21:

: This is never going to work...

: It will work. The bulk of Merizan's forces will be trying to take back the Inquisition forums. You know how important it is to her.

: But everybody loves Mass Effect 1 and 2. They won't follow us willingly. Raiding the Mass Effect Legacy forums is a big risk.

: Naw, I like this idea. BioWare's recent "success" has come from Mass Effect 1 and 2. If we take it, then Merizan will know we mean business.

: Mhm... and the hostile populace?

: Ha! They won't pose a threat. Just tell them we'll leave their precious waifus alone and they will tow the line. They're just a pack of horny, pathetic simpletons who care more about what their waifu's sweat tastes like than a good game.

: As Billy says, we shall win them over easy enough. It's the loyalists that worry me. It's where she trains and *cough* indoctrinates new soldiers and drones. If the place is fully garrisoned, we will get annihilated. Our hope is that it's not.

-------------------------------------------------

A few moments later...

-------------------------------------------------

Our heroes cease their chatter as the Mass Effect Legacy forums start to come into view.

The team prepares for the upcoming fight in their own way as Foxxy and Cel pause to reflect on Jimmy's words. Well, at least he recognises the risk and is honest enough to admit we are probably going to die, they thought.

: Okay, there are three sections of this forum we need to take over. One is the Technical Support area, another is the Character and Fan Creations are-

: Ugh. Sad and desperate filth. 

: ...As I was saying. The Character and Fan Creations area, and this. This is the Story Discussion Area. This is where most of the fighting will take place, the Technical Support area barely has any drones and the Character section is full of civilians. Here is where the bulk of the resistance is.

: I just thought of something. You said that this is where they train new troops, right? So it's like an army base. Wouldn't this be the place where all of the loyalists fleeing the Inquisition forums come? They could know we are coming!

: We are hiding behind seven proxies. They won't know we are coming until it's too late.

: Has everybody finished with all your questions? Yes? Then why are you women just standing around? Let's jew this already!

: I agree with Heathbro. Let's jew this xD

-------------------------------------------------

Our heroes quietly approach the Mass Effect Legacy forums, not wishing to alert the loyalists to their presence. Billy takes point and he begins to whisper to Jimmy about tactics. They were hoping that the military facility was deserted, or close to it. To their disappointment, two guards were posted at the entrance.



: We will just have to do this the hard way, then.

Jimmy grins sardonically. Then he opens fire.



They go down easily enough.



: Let's show Merizan's dogs we mean business. Cel! There's a mortar and a few shells on that guy. You know what to do.

Cel quickly gets to work, equipping the Mortar and prepares to fire it. The others scramble into position and take up a defensive formation around him.

As Cel loads the Mortar with the shell, Kloie attempts to converse with Foxx in hushed tones.

: Hey, is it just me or has Jimmy changed? Like he's more angry now.

: He's been like this ever since we left the Inqusition forums. For a few days now, he seems on edge.

Before Kloie could respond, Cel fires the Mortar. An ear shattering blast soon follows.



: Ha! Talk about making your own entrance.

: CHARGE!



Jimmy leads the way forward and the others quickly follow. A head-on assault on the military facility.



The team scans each room for loyalists. But so far it seems as if Jimmy's gamble is paying off and each empty room fills him with more confidence.



: Hahah! See?! There's nobody here! Let's head into the control room. We need to contact the B-Team. Hah! I knew it would work!

Our heroes make their way to the control centre with minimal fuss. Not every room had been cleared out yet, but they were fairly certain that the fighting was over.



They find a loyalist inside. Well, two really. One of them was already dead. The remaining loyalist made no effort to fight our heroes, however. He just glared at them as the team all entered the control centre.

Looking on with contempt, the loyalist begins speaking.



: Shorts? As in Upsettingshorts?! Bahahah, this is too much! Why are you here?!

: I am a General in Her Highness Queen Merizan's army. Jessica Merizan is a fine ruler. Better than any man. And I am here fighting for social justice. What are you fighting for? The patriarchy? I don't care what you think, you privileged, white, cis gendered scum.

: Who's the dead guy?

: He was one of us. Until he decided that he would rather twerk with the enemy than die for equality. He had crazy notions too, about who our maker was. I had to put him down.

: Why don't you join us, Upsettingshorts? We've had our differences in the past but I'm sure we can work things out.



: I would rather die than join with the likes of you. And don't think this is over. You have no idea what Merizan is planning on Tumblr. Weapons are being made, loyalists are being converted and reinforcements are being sent. So enjoy your "victory", heteronormative oppressors. Enjoy it while it lasts.

The conversation seemingly over, our heroes relax a little and focus their attention elsewhere. Only Billy keeps his gaze fixed on Upsettingshorts.

: Son of a Bleep! Look at that supercomputer cluster! And so many screens and monitors!



Ignoring everything else, Cel makes his way towards the supercomputer.



: In fact, I will give you a chance to do exactly that. Right now!



Before the team is able to react, Upsettingshorts pulls out a concealed machine pistol and begins to fire haphazardly at our heroes.



Cel is hit several times and immediately falls to the ground, lifeless. He never even saw it coming.





Billy reacts almost instantly, firing at Upsettingshorts. The Social Justice General lands on the ground with a loud 'thud' barely a second after Cel. He too, is lifeless.

: ****, what a way to go. I thought we had it all wrapped up. Dammit.

: Poor Cel. I just hope the others are doing okay.

-------------------------------------------------

Back with the B-Team...

-------------------------------------------------



: How many drones does Merizan have?! How long have we been fighting for?!

: I think my arm's broken!

: Where the FVCK is Luis?!?!

: We're all dead. D-E-A-D. Lulz.

: Don't worry! We can still make it out of here al-ARGHHHH

[Jarl Johnnie Walker]

Nice chapter lol.

And I like how Volie just seems so angry tbh.

[Kaiser Arian XVII]

Good, but it needs "a little less talk and a lot more action"!
B-Team ftw! A-Team doesn't know how to fight!

[TheBlackBaron]

B-Team has obviously stumbled upon Bioware Austin. Everbody knows that Texas is nothing but desert and Saguaro cacti.

[The Don's Hound]

TAKE MY MOTHER FVCKING LIKE

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Kaiser Arian wrote...

Good, but it needs "a little less talk and a lot more action"!
B-Team ftw! A-Team doesn't know how to fight!

Well, I have a feeling you'll like the next chapter. 

*cheap bump*

[CynicalShep]

And where would that next chapter be, Crusty?

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

Considering the forum change, I am bumping this because I don't want to lose it (can no longer access from my profile page instantly) and because I am going to write new chapters for this soon.